Dear Diary, I Need to Stop Writing in You
by Sweet Hanabi Lights
Summary: When you are seldom noticed, it is easy to believe that there is nothing worth being noticed about you. This 'reality' has never bothered the shy introverted Ayame Sato. Unless this reality meant she would never meet Hisagi Shuuhei. But when you're rank isn't high and neither is your self-esteem, how are you supposed to talk to your crush !
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**Author's Note:[Revised.2]** This is my first time writing a fanfiction but I've also had this idea for a while now so... we'll see how it goes!

Disclamer: I am a poor deprived anime lover and in no way shape or form am I receiving money off the use of Tite Kubo's characters in this fiction. What I do own is my own original character and any ideas associated with said character.

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_You are my hero. You have always been my hero, but you don't even know it yet. It seems like you will never ever know how I feel about you. Or how I admire everything you stand for: Justice. Duty. Peace. How I wish to be like you and be able to uphold these morals that you represent. Alas, I am too terribly shy, and I am forced to hide behind my pale lavender hair as I watch you and your friends from afar. One day, Shuuhei Hisagi, I hope you will notice me, and then maybe, I will build up enough courage to talk to you…_

* * *

Dear Diary,

I've been transferred today. After years of struggling with the Shinigami Academy and working myself up the ranks of the 6th division I, Ayame Sato, have been transferred to the Eighth Division under Shunsui Kyoraku . It's not exactly my dream division, but an invitation to become the fourth seat is something I couldn't pass up. Now I will finally have the chance to prove myself within the shinigami soci—

* * *

"Ayame!" The sound of my new Lieutenant's voice startled me so much that I fell backwards off of my stool. "Ouch" I whimpered, rubbing the back of my head. I saw Lieutenant's black outline in the frame of my doorway. She gave a sigh, seeing my crumpled figure laying on the tatami matted floor. "Captain Kyoraku wishes to give you an appropriate welcoming into the Eighth Division. Report to his office as soon as possible. Thank you." With a swift turn she disappeared out of the entrance, probably on to more important matters than speaking with a fourth seat officer.

I scrambled up to my feet dusting out the crinkles in my hakama pants. I looked into the mirror attempting to fix my pale purple hair but after manipulating it for a couple of seconds I decided to leave the placid strands as they were. My wispy bangs covered a lot of my face while the rest of my mid length hair was worn down. Every time I tried to tuck my bangs behind my ears they just fell back in front of my face covering my brown eyes' line of vision.

Well, here I go. I flash stepped all the way to Captain Shunsui's office, taking a big breath before knocking on his door.

"Come in" I heard in a sing song voice from the other side.

Slowly I cracked the door open, peeking my head out from behind it to be taken by surprise by a large amount of force pulling me in to the room. Captain Kyoraku looked at me with delight. He wore a laid back type of smile and his wavy hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, complimented with his floral patterned kimono draped over his shoulders.

"Welcome young lady!" He cradled my hand within his and kissed it.

"It is a pleasure to have your beauty grace my division."

"Uuuhh I-I…" The heat from my face was enough to heat up a whole entire district of Rukongai for a month. I was so embarrassed and taken aback I could only stare up at his dark grey eyes.

"Haha I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Oh no! N-not at all I …just…" I stammered unable to come up with something witty or cool to say.

"Don't mind him. He does this to every female." Lieutenant Ise said upon entering into the room.

"He likes to harass his new recruits."

Shunsui turned a friendly smile towards his Lieutenant. She returned his friendly gesture with an irritated glare.

"Haha Lil' Nanao , come on now, I was just being friendly. But really, any time you feel lonely come on over and we can have a drinking party." He said whispering the last part over in my direction with a sly smile.

"Absolutely no drinking Captain Kyoraku!" The now more than ever intimidating fukutaichou commanded in a stern voice.

"Besides we have paper work to go over."

Shunsui strolled over to his desk with a playful pouty expression with Lieutenant Ise at hand. "Well hopefully we can spend more quality time to get to know each other. See you later Ayame-chan."He said offhandedly. "Uh, Yes Captain Kyoraku." I bowed leaving swiftly out of the room. Making sure I could still walk I left the division's office area.

Oh dear, I don't know how long I'll last if I have to deal with working under that kind of Captain everyday. He seems like a very um 'nice' guy though, opposed to my Lieutenant who seems a bit…frightening at times, but still cool nonetheless. Oh well, I'm just happy to be on the squad, I told myself.

I looked around at the cherry blossom trees that decorated the pathways. They were in full bloom and decorated the air with fluttering pink petals. The other shinigami walking by gave me quick glances every so often, as if sizing me up. Then carrying on when they realized that I am nothing of grave importance. Nothing special. Just a regular shinigami like everyone else who was plain looking, and not at all that talented, but was able to be at the right place at the right time to get the right position. I can not let this get me down, I thought to myself. I'll just work harder, so I can become stronger. I do have a goal to accomplish after all.

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Yeahh... first time ever getting into the whole fanfic buisiness but I'm excited for my first one!:3 Anyways this is just kind of a pilot first chapter of a potential Hisagi slash OC fic I think I'm going to do. It's a lot shorter than the potential next chapters I plan on writing. Feel free to criticize violently(I'm not being sarcastic) just put in specific things like "blah blah blah scene didn't flow well" or "describe your settings better" ect. The next Fic should be out in like maybe a week or two since I'm going on vacation, but who knows!It could be released earlier.


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Ok Chapter two is finally up! It took forever to do but it is finally done. :3

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Dear Diary,

Work has been rather slow for the past couple of weeks, and rather uneventful. My new Captain has been very friendly though (maybe a little too friendly). Most of the work I've been doing involves me helping out with the paperwork with Lieutenant Nanao (it's become quite obvious that Captain Shunsui is not very diligent with that sort of thing). But I'm not surprised that I would be assigned this type of duty. I don't seem to be the type capable of much else I guess. Oh well, I guess you've got to do what you've got to do.

Next Day

"Now Miss Sato," Lieutenant Nanao said, going over the details of my latest mission. "Remember, these are very important documents I have written up. They are to be delivered by hand straight to Lieutenant Iba." I nodded my head, clutching the tightly sealed scrolls to my chest. Lieutenant Nanao repositioned her glasses back on the bridge of her nose, creating a glare that concealed her violet blue eyes. "I'd take them myself, but I have a … meeting to attend."

And with that, she quickly flash-stepped away, disappearing from my sight. From the urgency she spoke within her voice I could tell that this scroll was probably more important than the other ones I'd been delivering lately. So I should probably deliver it as quickly as possible. I started walking in the opposite direction. The seventh division shouldn't take too long to get too, since we're located right next to each other. As I was walking down the pathway I looked up at the sakura trees. The light from the sun illuminated the sakura blossoms, making them look almost like pink fluffy clouds. Sakura blossoms were my first favorite flowers. The reason why? I'm not quite sure…

* * *

Flashback to Childhood

My mother enclosed my small pale hand within hers, making sure to hold me close. We were walking along the crowded streets of Rukongai looking for groceries for the next meal. The amount of people was overwhelming. Everyone seemed busy, pushing aside anyone who was in their way in order to get to their desired destination. I could hear the loud gruff voices as the men haggled prices for their various goods they were selling at their shops. My mother walked over to a small stand where a chubby man had a stack of vegetables on display. I timidly looked around the market place area. The items being sold varied from pots and pans to strange and exotic fruits. Then something pink caught my eye. Gathered on a wooden table were a collection of branches with light pink flowers growing in clusters on them. An older woman was seated near the flowers occupying herself with patching up a piece of cloth.

I tugged on the edge of my mother's skirt pleading to get her attention. She exchanged two coins for a bag of assorted veggies, which she swiftly put in her basket. Her steely grey gaze landed on my small figure. "What is it Ayame?" She followed my pointed finger to the stand with the pink flowers. "Can we look at the flowers?" I asked shyly, my small voice barely audible over the bustle of town. She smiled down sweetly at me and led me over to the flower stand. I gazed at the flowers in wonder. It's sweet scent filling my nose. I had never seen such pretty plants in my life. The old lady livened up when she saw me. "Those are Sakura Blossoms, picked straight from trees in Seiretei. They are in full bloom this season." She informed me with pride. All I could do was look at the flora in awe, too afraid to touch them for fear of breaking them. "They are really pretty." I stated blatantly. "Why thank you" A small smile graced her lips. "Here" She placed a little sakura flower in my lavender hair with a shaky hand. "Oh no, we couldn't possibly pay y-" My mother began but the old woman cut her off holding up an unsteady hand. "Consider it a little gift."She turned to face me. "When you get older come back and buy some more from me. Okay" I nodded fingering at the delicate little cherry blossom placed in my hair. I couldn't believe it! A gift, for me. My mother bowed at the elderly lady taking my hand as we left the marketplace.

* * *

I was so distracted with my thoughts that I unknowingly bumped into something hard. "Ow, Oh dear, I'm sorry" I looked up to see the smiling face of my one and only captain. "Ca-Ca-Captain, I did not see you there…uh, I" "On a leisurely stroll alone I see," "No sir! I um…" I tried to avoid his dark eyes focusing my vision on his pink floral kimino draped over his shoulders instead. I started to fiddle with the hem of my shinigami outfit when I remembered the important scroll Vice Captain Ise gave me. Looking out at the sky I realized I had spent all morning to evening time daydreaming. Oh No! Lieutenant Ise is going to kill me. I was supposed to deliver this as soon as possible. Shunsui detected my sudden franticness. "What seems to be worrying you, Miss Ayame?"I'd almost forgotten my captain was still standing in front of me.

"I am sorry, Captain Shunsui, but I have a really important document to deliver for Lieutenant Ise right away." "Lieutenant Ise you say" He grabbed the scroll from my hand looking over it in an impassive sort of way. "Actually I've been looking for you." My ears perked up at his statement. "For me?" "Why yes, I plan on having a little party tonight and you're invited." The thought of being invited by a captain to a party flattered me, but I still had a document to deliver. "I couldn't Lieutenant Ise would be-" "Lil' Nanao will be fine. If you're so worried I'll take care of it." He casually threw the scroll into a bush. Not giving it a second glance. I was shocked to say the least, but then again not all that surprised. "See. You shouldn't worry over such minuscule things my Ayame. It will eventually wrinkle your youthful face." He placed his large hand on my shoulder giving me a friendly smile. "Your new mission is to come have some fun and relaxation. Oh and if you could, make a quick trip to the market and get us a little more sake. It appears as if we're running little low." "Y-yes sir" I agreed a bit hesitantly.

I flash-stepped, making my way to a nearby store that sells sake. I guess it's okay, I thought to myself, since he is the captain and all. Then I remembered the menacing glare of Ise's glasses and I tried to shake the image from my mind. I spotted a nearby building that read Sake on it. This is probably a place I could buy sake at. I landed outside the building and entered its entry way. Bottles and bottles of sake were lined up across shelves. I started at the shelf closest to my right. There were so many brands I was unsure of which one to choose. I've never had any form of alcohol before. What if I choose the wrong one? I scratched my head in frustration as I continued looking at various labels. The sales clerk at the counter walked over towards me. "Do you need any help, ma'am?" "Oh" I looked up towards him in surprise. "Do you… have any regular plain sake please."

I decided to get two crates full of sake. I'm not sure how much my captain wanted but hopefully this should be enough. I picked the crates up attempting to balance it in my arms. My height made it difficult to see over the sake bottles so I had to maneuver myself from the shop without knocking anything over. Unfortunately as I was leaving the building my tabi sandal snagged on the tatami mat. My stomach flipped as I felt the slight sensation of falling over. Suddenly the sensation stopped. A strong arm held my waist while another force balanced the crates of sake in my arms. Then I soon regained my sense of balance. "Th-thank you." I said through the crates unable to see the person who had saved me from a near tragic accident. "Be careful. You can hurt yourself carrying those crates." The voice coming from the other side of the crate seemed to be a man. It was a serious voice, that was also very calm at the same time. The footsteps soon retreated into the sake building. I blushed from embarrassment hiding my face behind the alcohol boxes I was holding. How could I be so clumsy! I'm a 4th seat shinigami now aren't I?

Wait a second, that voice seemed oddly familiar, I pondered. It couldn't be…but my mind wandered off. I peered over the side of my crates to get a better look at my savior. He was standing at the counter, back towards me and arms crossed, purchasing a bottle. He was a tall lean man with spiky black hair. The sleeves of his shinigami uniform were cut off, revealing his well-built arms. I was almost sure it was him. The same guy that had plagued my thoughts during my Shinigami Academy Days. The same guy that I still occasionally think about even now. The same guy whose sole name makes me blush profusely. It felt like the air had suddenly became thicker and it was much harder to breathe. I forced my jellow-like legs to walk away from the store so I could be able to make my way back to Captain Shunsui's office with the sake. After 10 seconds of controlled breathing I felt as if I could think straight again. That was definitely him, Hisagi Shuuhei.

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Well that's chapter 2. My story is hopefully moving on slowly but surely i guess. And I'm pretty sure i still have many things to improve on so feel free to review. Harsh criticism is accepted.

Oh Yeah, and since I wasn't able to upload my new chapter last week hopefully the next chapter will be uploaded within this week. Chapter 3 will probably be longer than this.


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Author: I finally got this chapter finished! XD It took a really long time though (I blame it on the ADHD). Now time to start on the next one! Hopefully Chapter Four will be out next week...(To make up for the long wait)

Disclamer: I do not own Bleach or the Bleach Universe or the Bleach Characters that live in that Bleach Universe. This belongs to the one and only Tite Kubo. I do however own my own original character, Ayame Sato.

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My stomach lurched at the thought of meeting with Hisagi. I'm pretty sure if he knew who I was he would have said something. On the other hand he probably doesn't know who I am anyways. So even if he did see me we wouldn't of cared. That thought cooled down my nerves but also made me a little sad at the same time. I missed a chance to talk to him, a chance I might never get again.

Then sun was already setting before I reached Captain Shunsui's office. From outside the door Shunsui's jolly voice and the sound of clinking glasses could be heard. The noise coming from his office seemed to escalate. With various giggles and roars of laughter that were for the most part female. The stinging sensation in my arms due to the crates intensified. I placed them outside his office door making sure to not break any bottles to the best of my abilities. They seemed to be having a lot of fun in there and there seems to be a lot of people there too. People that I don't know. I contemplated on even going in or not. Socializing isn't one of my strong points and being at a party where I don't really know anyone would just feel really awkward. I looked over at the sake crates stacked next to the door. I guess I'll just drop these off for Captain at least. I'll just go in and say 'hi' to make sure he knew that I at least came by.

I gently knocked on the door and immediately afterwards the door slid open and I was greeted by an ample showing of cleavage. I followed the heavily revealing bosom up to its owner's face. The woman's light blue eyes scrutinized me for a second almost calculating. She pursed her full lips as if trying to figure me out but the expression soon left her face and was replaced with a warm smile. The woman balanced herself along the door frame with her arm. Her strawberry blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders like a river. I was stricken with how beautiful she was. I don't remember ever seeing someone as pretty as her before. Her uniform looked like the traditional uniform wore by all shinigami which was adorned with a pink scarf lightly draped around her shoulders. I also noticed the white sash tied around her waist with a similar insignia usually worn by lieutenants. I was surprised I hadn't noticed it before. What was such a high ranking officer doing out drinking in the middle of the night in another division!

"Helloooo there!" She smiled at invitingly. Seconds passed before anyone said anything. I stood there unable to think of anything to say.

"Hey! You must be the new fourth seat, am I right?" She questioned looking as if she just remembered something.

"Oh, um yes…I, am."

I peeked behind her voluptuous frame to see a three women clumsily dancing on a tabletop. One of the three women began to playfully loosen here obi sash. Oh dear, maybe I shouldn't-

"Ayame"

My attention fell back on the woman in front of me. "Oh sorry, yes?"

"Your name. Shunsui said it was Ayame." I nodded looking anxiously at the crates. We stared at each other for a few more seconds.

"Sooo… are you just going to stay out in the hall or are you going to join in on the fun?" She questioned jokingly.

"Well actually…I was just dropping off these sake crates." I told her pointing at the crates stacked in the corner. She slipped her arm into mine taking me by surprise.

"Come oooon." She wined in my ear. "There's no need to be shy!"

She began to pull me through the door, despite my protest, stumbling through the clusters of various female shinigami. Most of which who I've never seen before. Sitting in the middle of chaos was Captain Shunsui, fiddling on small three string guitar called a shamisen. His fingers moved gracefully over the three strings producing a jolly hi tempo song. The girls circled around him clapped delightedly in tandem to the beat of his song.

We arrived at a small table at the other side of the office room. The robust women plopped down onto a cushion proceeding to pour some drinks in a small cup. I hesitantly took my place next to her. I looked around the room. Empty and broken bottles alike were littered all over the floor. In one corner of the room a chant of 'Drink! Drink! Drink!' could be heard as two women proceeded to chug full bottles of sake down their throats. This is something that I would expect from a division of men. I turned back to the women seating next to me who handed me cup full of a liquid that had a rather pungent smell.

"You look so scared Ayame. Have a drink or two so you can loosen up."

I took the cup with two hands not wishing to offend her by rejecting her kind gesture.

"Th-Thank you Miss Lieutenant um…"My mind drew off to a blank and realized that I hadn't asked for her name.

"Just call me Rangiku." She replied.

"Oh ok…"

She began to conversate with other surrounding females. Making inside jokes to various other shinigami and events that I didn't know of. I sat there in silence pretending to be interested in the eighth division's Strelitzia flower insignia etched into the side of my cup. I suddenly wished that I hadn't knocked on the door in the first place. All these people were already friends with one another. Why would they want to talk to me? I felt like weed in a field of flowers. I looked over at Rangiku beside me. It seemed as if the girls from a couple of minutes ago had migrated to another social circle.

Maybe I should make an effort to get to know her.

"Well if you don't me asking. How do you know Captain Shunsui." The question came out awkwardly, almsot bordering on forced. She looked over at me in surprise almost as if she forgot I was there.

"Captain Shunsui? Me and him go way back. We're drinking buddies." She stated with a smile gazing back at Captain with the flowery kimono. He still seemed to be playing the shamisen but his song seemed more somber than the last.

"I just love his parties! He always has the best brand of sake!"

She refilled her cup for the sixth time since we've been sitting here (I counted). Rangiku and I continued to make small talk (to the best of my ability). This consisted of me nodding in agreement and giving an occasional 'yes' and 'no' when appropriate. As time went on I became less and less tense and the chatter and laughing from the other shinigami simply became back ground music. I learned that she was the Lieutenant for the tenth division under Captain Hitsugaya, her favorite color is pink and her...chest tends to get get caught in things quite often. She actually spent a lot of the conversation talking about the hardships of being well endowed to which I wasn't very able to relate with. Her rumors about other shinigami intrigued me and her comments on the fashion sense of people in the room made me giggle.

"You're really quiet." She stated blatantly. I tugged at the hem of my shinigami outfit.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to bore you." She smiled kindly at me and waved off my apology.

"But I like you a lot more than last fourth seat. She was like a mini Nanao minion. It was a lot harder to have parties like this without her nosing her way in and ruining all the fun."

"Oh" was all I said as I swished the alcoholic beverage in my cup. The mention of Lieutenant Ise reminded me of how mad Lieutenant Ise would be. Especially if she found out Captain Shunsui was throwing a drinking party of all things.

Suddenly, the door of the assembly hall flew open. A winded shinigami stood outside of the door way breathing heavily before speaking "Ise-fukutaichou…has been spotted…leaving her meeting early and…she's only fifteen minutes away." A blanket of silence covered the entire room. Everyone except Matsumoto who continued to begin to go in detail about the difficulty of sleeping remained completely soundless. She might as well have told us that Hollows had launched a surprise attack on soul society because in no less than five seconds everyone had flash stepped from the assembly hall. I attempted to get up to stop everyone from leaving.

"Wa-wait! Shouldn't we…clean up a little?" But my small voice was lost in the hustle and I was promptly knocked out of the way as people pushed and shoved to get out the small doorway. "C-Captain Kyoraku, fukutaichou will be here soon so…" But as I looked around the room for my Captain I realized he was nowhere to be found! I sighed looking over the glasses layed on the floor. Why am I not surprised? There was no one left but Matsumoto who soon stood up grabbing her half full sake bottle with her. I suddenly felt cold when I thought of the menacing way the light hit the rim of her glasses. The least I could do was clean up a little. I grabbed a nearby broom and pail that laid against the wall and began to clean broken bottle pieces.

"You're gonna clean this all up by yourself?" Matsumoto asked making her way towards the door. I nodded stacking cups together in somewhat neat piles. "If I were you I'd just leave. Someone will come by and clean it up sooner or later."

She yawned. "We should hang out some time. Then we could go shopping or something."I watched as she stumbled out the door, almost a little saddened that she had to leave. She was interesting to listen to. I don't recall holding such a long conversation with someone before. Maybe I've made my first friend since entering the eighth squad. I sighed. Come on Ayame! This mess needs to be cleaned up before Lieutenant Ise arrives. I told myself. I picked up the pace and started sweeping harder. Once again I was alone with just the silence…

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm pretty sure that was Hisagi at the store a couple of weeks ago but I do not think he noticed me. I didn't get a good look at him but it seemed like he changed a lot from the last time I saw him. I feel like such a little girl now, taking unnecessary delivery trips in hopes of maybe turning a corner and seeing him again. Obviously I haven't seen him again and I know I probably won't ever see him again either even though I still take occasional trips by the sake store. The social gathering two days ago was very…interesting to say the least. Luckily I cleaned everything before Lieutenant came. I also met a Lieutenant Matsumoto from the tenth division. She is really pretty and funny too. She comes by often to drink with Captain Kyoraku (much to Lieutenant's annoyance) where I occasionally come. She has invited me to visit her so maybe this weekend when I have time off I will. Besides that it seems as if everything has been going on as it normally should. Just recently I found a peculiar necklace in one of the halls the other day. It looks strikingly similar to the one Lieutenant Rangiku wears.

* * *

I closed my purple diary and carefully placed it within my desk's drawer. The necklace I found lay across my desk top. Its design was rather odd. A silver circle lay in the middle and held together the necklace where the chain looped around through the circle with a circle hanging off its end. I fingered at the intricate details of the chain. It would be a shame to lose such a nice-looking necklace. Matsumoto must be looking all over for this.

I got up from my desk taking the necklace with me. I left my room and entered into the hallway of my barracks. The other ranked shinigami's rooms were located next to mine. It was strange, I thought, that I never got to see them. When I was in Squad Six I shared a room with three other female shinigami. I was a much lower rank back then. It was nice to have some company I suppose but I enjoy having privacy. I don't have worry about people rummaging through my things and reading my diary. As I was about to turn the corner I heard my name followed by more inaudible chatter I couldn't make out. It seemed to be coming from down the hallway. I peaked around the corner and saw a group of shinigami gathered around. I could recognize most of them from the party a couple of weeks ago. I shouldn't be eavesdropping I thought to myself. I should just leave...

"Did you see the new fourth seat sitting with that slut Rangiku?" Or I'll just stay for a little while and then I'll leave. I placed myself against the wall making sure to mask my reiatsu so I wouldn't be seen or noticed.

"We have a new fourth seat?" Questioned one female voice.

"Oh Yeah that's right…what's her face, Yamiko." Another voice answered unsure.

"No, no that's not it. I think it's more like Ayato or something." Countered another one.

"Stop being stupid! Obviously her name was Kogame." It's Ayame Sato, I sighed mentally in my head.

"She doesn't really seem like much of a talker."

"She doesn't really seem like much of an anything." This statement was followed by laughter.

"I don't see how she got this position in the first place though."The conversation continued.

"True, she doesn't strike me as someone who can hold her own." A voice added in a snotty tone.

"Well Captain Kyoraku obviously didn't choose her because of her looks that's for sure."

"Haha she does look rather homely!"

I wanted to go in and tell them my name wasn't even remotely close to any of those guesses, and that I do talk, I'm just a little reserved, and I do posses some decent shinigami abilities but then I remembered that I shouldn't be listening to their conversation in the first place. Even if I were to interrupt their conversation, I knew I wouldn't have the guts to confront them anyways and would just end up embarrassing myself in an attempt to come up with a clever comeback. I decided to walk in the opposite direction not wanting to hear what else they may have to say. My hands traveled up to my cheeks. I'm not that homely though am I? I mean I've never been asked out before by a guy but that didn't necessarily mean anything did it? I knew I wouldn't ever be nominated for Miss Seireitei or anything, but I never thought to describe myself as…homely.

"Ayame-san!" I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Eeep!" I jumped and whipped around to come face to face with Lieutenant Ise. She looked at me inquisitively but shook her head and sighed.

"Why is that every time I see you, you look like you've seen a hollow? There's no need to be so nervous."

"I-I'm so sorry Lieutenant Ise! I did not sense you behind me." I apologized profusely clasping my hands together and raising them over my lowered head. She held up her hands defensively.

"Please Miss Sato there is no need for apologies, I simply came to check up on you." "Did you turn in those files?"

My mind was blank for a moment. Oh dear, I had completely forgotten! I gave those files to…Captain Kyoraku didn't I? Who then threw them in a bush, I remembered vividly. What will Lieutenant Ise say after finding out how irresponsible I was? What will Lieutenant Ise DO?

"I uh, Captain Shunsui um he… took them… and um" I began to mumble to myself tripping over my own words.

"Captain Shunsui?" She asked unbelievably. I stared at her too fearful to tell the complete truth. "Nevermind, they weren't that important." She sighed after moments of silence.

My stomach suddenly felt ten pounds lighter and I mentally wiped the beads of sweat off my forehead. She opened up the small notebook clutched in her arm and scribbled a little note inside. The group of shinigami who were gathered around earlier came laughing down the corridor. "Socializing is for AFTER work hours ladies." Snapped Lieutenant Ise. The women bowed immediately surprised at Lieutenant Ise's sudden presence. They murmured 'sorry lieutenant' s and 'yes fukutaichou' s making their way quickly out the exit. Lieutenant Ise shook her head "This is what happens when we hire a bunch of women." I watched her leave and thought to myself 'I hope to be respected like fukutaichou one day.' I continued my walk down the hallway towards the exit.

When I entered outside the air was cool. I squinted up at the sun just barely rising over the cherry blossoms. It was pretty early in the day and not a lot of people seemed to about yet. Maybe today would be a good time to visit Matsumoto. It's not like I have anything relatively exciting to do and she did invite me over. On the other hand, she would probably think it would be lame that I had enough free time to travel across to another division just to deliver a necklace? I didn't want to make a fool of myself by coming in the spur of the moment. Maybe I'll just leave it at her office door or something. I looked westward towards where the tenth division would be. I'm pretty sure I could find my way to the tenth division…

* * *

After hours of walking (and getting lost)…

I entered the tenth division. I leaned on a nearby post in order to catch my breath. The walk over here took a lot more energy than expected. I'm guessing that the Lieutenant's office would be located somewhere near the Captain's office, which is usually the biggest building in the middle I suppose. I started to walk in a general direction hoping to see the building sooner or later. The atmosphere of the tenth division seemed to differ greatly from my current division. Everyone walked with a sense of purpose unlike in the eighth division, where the atmosphere was very relaxed and people took their time while walking from place to place (unless Lieutenant Ise was around). Until now I had kept my eyes steadily looking at the ground. It wasn't soon untill I was already at the door to the captain's office. Just barely I could hear two voices from inside. One I could distinguish as Matsumoto's but the other one sounded like a younger male's voice that was speaking in an obviously annoyed tone. I sucked in a big gulp of air as if I was sucking in a little bit of courage. My hand hovered near the door. Maybe I should just wait a little bit. It would be rude to enter in a captain's office unannounced without an important reason…

* * *

Few Minutes Before (Hitsugaya's Perspective)

I glanced over my stack of papers at my Lieutenant who draped herself lazily over the couch in the corner of my office. Unlike normal lieutenant's who actually do paperwork, my lieutenant was busy doodling on hers. I sighed to myself. This was going to be long day.

"Why is it that you never do your JOB Matsumoto?" I said offhandedly stacking up a finished pile of documents and putting them to the side of my desk. She turned to face me propping her head on her hand on the arm rest of the couch.

"Aaaaww Captain, you know I'm allergic to paperwork." She wined playfully.

"Besides, I drew some pictures of you. This one has you with your shirt off." She said pointing at a crudely drawn mess of scribbles on her paperwork. Sigh.

"I don't see how drawing inappropriate pictures of me is an incentive to make me let you leave early today Matsumoto."

"Captain Hitsugayaaa, I just can't concentrate without my necklace. I have no idea where it could be." I'm sure having her necklace wouldn't make any difference in her performance I thought to myself.

"Just look at them!" She moaned while cradling her chest in her hands. "They feel so naked now." Like they weren't already exposed before?

"Stop that Matsumoto." I said ignoring her crude gestures.

"You're so mean to me Hitsugaya." She huffed.

"I will not tell you again Matsumoto." But I was unable to finish my statement due to a soft knock coming from the door. I rose from my seat only to be beaten by Matsumoto. She opened it revealing a girl of medium height whose face for the most part was covered by her pale purple hair. Her brown eyed gaze rested on the floor, and her hands fiddled with her white shinigami sash around her waist. Matsumoto stared at her for a few moments then called out "Ayame!" in a cheerful tone and enfolded the woman within her breasts into a hug. "Captain Hitsugaya I have some…important business to attend to, but I will be back." She called back at me as she left the building with the peculiar woman by her side. "Hey! Matsumoto! You can't just dismiss yourself!" I yelled after her. Unfortunately she was already gone and she left plenty of paperwork. She won't be back I sighed to myself.

* * *

Present (Back to Ayame's Perspective)

I was surprised to say the least to be greeted once again by Rangiku's chest. She closed the door, apparently oblivious to the yelling coming from her captain's office.

"Let's walk over here," She said gesturing to the courtyards leading away from the captain's office. I looked back at the room from where the captain of the tenth division was.

"I-I didn't mean to pull you from your work or anything. I don't want your captain to be mad at you…" She waved off the mention of her captain.

"Don't worry about it. He'll be fine." He sure didn't look fine to me, but I continued to walk with her anyways.

"Enough about him! What made you come visit me?" I unraveled the necklace from my hand and offered it to Rangiku.

"I've been looking all over for this! How did you find it?" She smiled refastening the jewelry to her neck.

"I thought it might be yours so I was just going to drop it off for you." Matsumoto placed a hand over her necklace affectionately.

"You're such a sweat heart to come all this way. You just don't know how much this necklace means to me." I smiled back at her happy to know that I was able to be of help.

"We should celebrate." She announced suddenly clasping her hands together in a determined manner. "Let's have a party. I'll invite some of my friends and we can have lots of sake." I contemplated the thought of going to a party hosted by Rangiku.

"Umm, I don't know…" She placed her hands on her hips gave her signature pouty expression. "Come on Ayame. Just look at how pale you are. Getting out will do you some good." I began to fiddle with my shinigami outfit pretending to be engrossed with rearranging my sash. "I'll invite cute guys over." She added nudging me in my rib cage. I soon gave in and agreed to accompany her to her unplanned party. What's the worst that could happen?...

* * *

End of Chapter Three. Please feel free to comment and criticize! I accept all types of criticism despite its intensity as long as it helps! And also if you could tell me your opinion about the story format because I've been experimenting with new things and looking for ways to format my stories to make it easier for the reader to read. :P

Hopefully I can get out the next chapter this weekend!


	4. Page 4

**[EDITED]Author's Note: **I'm really sorry for such the long wait! I've just been trying to fully plan out the story as much as I could and...well...I really don't have a good reason. But anyways here's the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the bleach universe. They all belong to Tite Kubo. Ayame Sato however, does kinda belong to me...

* * *

Dear Diary,

Tonight I will be going over to Rangiku's place. It was really nice of her to invite me over (even though I have to provide the drinks). I'm very interested to see what her friends are like. Will there be girls there I wonder or does she have all guy friends. I also wonder if she was joking about introducing me to cute boys. Will their personalities be similar to Rangiku's? Because if so, I'm not so sure how I'll fit in. Rangiku and I's relationship is a very different kind of relationship. Now that I think about it, Rangiku and I really don't have much in common. She's outgoing and funny. Unlike me who's a bit shy and reserved or "trapped in a box" as she calls it. But she likes to talk and I like to listen. So that's good enough for a friendship. I guess.

I closed my notebook. Earlier Rangiku suggested that we should meet up at her place later. This would give the other guests time to get ready. It would also give me enough time to collect my bearings. I looked out my room's window. The sun's rays rested just barely above the dormitories. I've been sitting anxiously, like a little girl waiting to go to the park, waiting for Rangiku's party. She probably has parties like this all the time. This is just a regular night for her, I thought, so there's no need for me to get so nervous about it. I looked back out the window and decided that it was best to get going. Better to arrive early I guess. Before leaving the door I looked at my hair in the mirror. My long bangs covered most of my face.

I sighed "I really need to do something with my hair." I headed off to Rangiku's.

It should be known that Matsumoto does not have the most organized house. Not that I was completely surprised at the disorganization of the room. This fact became even more obvious when trying to find a place to sit. There were shopping bags and clothes everywhere! Matsumoto lay out in the middle of her living room examining an already empty sake bottle.

"Don't mind the stuff. Just make yourself at home."

She made a vague gesture towards the other side of her room where a couch was located. I walked over to where the barely recognizable piece of furniture and moved aside a large plush jacket to make room for myself.

"You didn't have to come so early you know." She said.

She took a sip from her sake.

I looked down at my fingers. They were rather dry, which made me wish I had brought lotion.

"I know…"

She smiled and got up from her laying position. She walked over to me wrapping an arm around my shoulder while crushing me with her left boob at the same time.

"You're too cute Ayame! I can't wait for you to see the guys."

I gagged a little from the slight scent of alcohol lingering on her breath.

"I can't wait either..." I whispered.

The sound of two bickering voices seemed to escalate in intensity from outside the door.

The bombshell Lieutenant's face brightened.

"That must be them now."Rangiku said happily.

I took in a couple of deep breaths. I needed to mentally prepare myself. This time I'm actually going to talk to people. I am going to be a beautiful social butterfly or at least a moderately decent looking chrysalis.

The door slid open. I was quite shocked to recognize the first man. He entered the doorway ducking his head full of bright red hair to avoid hitting the door frame while coming in. The tribal tattoos that decorated his arms chest and forehead only confirmed my suspicion to who he was. It was my former lieutenant, Abarai, Renji. Behind him were two other men. The first of the two was rather…bald. So bald, that upon entering the room, the shiny surface of his head created a blinding glare. His eyes had hints of red at the corners.

He glowered down at Rangiku and scoffed a vague formality.

The second man to enter had a slim figure. He strutted through the door with one hand on his hip, glaring at the bald man before him. He brushed his sleek dark jaw length hair out of his face revealing two yellow feathers that adorned his eyelashes and two red feathers adorning his eyebrow. My body tensed. The spiritual pressure in the room suddenly felt a lot denser. To have such high spiritual energy these people must be highly ranked shinigami.

Rangiku walked over to greet her new guests.

"Yumichika, Ikkaku, Renji! Glad you guys could make it!"

"Just tell us why the hell we're here." The bald one snapped in irritation.

Matsumoto pouted sticking out her full lips in mock annoyance.

"Humph. I invite you over for drinks and this is how I'm greeted. Rude." She crossed her arms underneath her bosom.

Ikkaku ignored her and took a seat in the middle of the floor.

"You? Invite us over for drinks?" The effeminate raven haired male asked sarcastically.

"I thought you had something important to tell us?" Renji sighed taking a seat next to Ikkaku.

"Oh right! I found my necklace!" She announced in a sing song voice pointing at the gold piece nestled between her chest.

Everyone in the room looked at Rangiku for a couple of seconds before Ikkaku murmured "Can't believe I walked all this damn way for some stupid necklace."

Rangiku seemed to be oblivious to his last comment and walked over to kitchen in the next room to grab some more cups.

I sat quietly observing the interactions between the high ranking shinigami. I felt like a painting on a wall observing a family I was not apart of. They began a heated discussion over zanpakuto techniques. Matsumoto came out of her kitchen with cups filled with sake in her arms. She looked over at me, then back at the men. "Oh Yeah! Let me introduce you guys to a new friend of mine."

"A friend? Where?" questioned Ikkaku scanning the room. Rangiku sighed.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed! She's been sitting on the couch for a full five minutes."

She pointed over in my direction. I halted playing with a strand of my hair once I noticed the attention of three men on me.

"Hi…" I waved timidly. The three other shinigamis' eyes lit up with curiosity.

The one named Yumichika was the first to speak. "Oh how fabulous!"

He walked over to me clasping his hands together in delight.

Ikkaku turned to me.

"I didn't even notice…" he commented. He looked me over. "What's your name?" He asked.

It sounded as more of a command than a casual question.

"Ay-Ayame…" I coughed averting my eyes from their steely gazes. Ikkaku and Yumichika leaned in closer.

"What did you say?" Yumichika asked cupping his ear. Before I could speak up again I felt Rangiku's hands clasp my shoulders from behind.

"Her name is Ayame, the new fourth seat from the eighth division I was talking about."

I was surprised to know that Rangiku had been talking about me to her friends.

"Ayasegawa, Yumchika, fifth seat of the eleventh division at your service." The fashionably inclined shinigami swept his hand in an elegant motion and gave me a bow.

"Ikkaku Madarame, third seat of the eleventh division." The bald one said smugly.

"Renji Abarai, lieutenant of the sixth division." My former lieutenant greeted me by shaking my hand.

Lieutenant Abarai didn't seem to recognize me. Not that I expected him to. A lot of shinigami went in and out of the sixth division. I got up from my position from the couch and gave them each respective bows while keeping my eyes glued to the floor.

I whispered "I-It's very nice to meet you all."

"So you're a fourth seat, huh? What are your stats?" Questioned Ikkaku. I looked at him blankly.

"Stats…?" I murmured a bit confused with his question.

"Never mind…" Ikkaku grunted seeming to have already lost interest.

"Speaking of new recruits have you seen…?" Yumichika began.

Rangiku and the other men started conversation. I wasn't entirely familiar with some of the names being mentioned, but I tried my best to stay involved, giving a nod every so often. Slowly though, I seemed to fade away from the conversation and I entertained myself with guessing how long it took to apply Yumichika's makeup.

Knock. Knock.

Someone else was at the door? Rangiku, Renji, and Ikkaku were now competing in an all out endurance drinking battle. They chugged down glasses of sake. Rangiku seemed to still be able to sit up straight while Ikkaku on the other hand was noticeably struggling. Renji seemed to have already passed out.

Knock. Knock.

Who else could be coming so late, I wondered. I looked at Rangiku who seemed to be occupied with chugging down another bottle of sake.

"R-Rangiku I think someone's at the door…" It didn't appear as if she heard me.

"I'll get it." I said more to myself than anyone else. I got up from my position on the couch to head over to the door.

Murmuring an 'excuse me,' I stepped over Renji's motionlessly intoxicated body. I cracked the door open.

"Hello?"

The sun had already set outside. It was dark and the figure outside was illuminated only by the tiny strip of light coming from the crack of the doorway. The cold air nipped at my cheeks and I shivered. I slid the door open further to get a better look at the person who stood at the doorstep. I realized I wasn't shivering from the cold at all. I was shivering because Shuuhei, Hisagi was directly in front of me.

He stood arms crossed giving me a perplexed expression. "Is this where… Rangiku lives?"

I stared at his face unable to think of what to say. His features hadn't changed much from the last time I saw him. He still had the 69 tattooed to his left cheek and those three vertical scars still remained on the right side of his face. A silver strip was tattooed across the bridge of his nose which I found to be new. His tousled black hair was much shorter than it had been. His face was much more angular and his arms…

"Sorry, I must have the wrong area." He finally said.

"Wait!" I blurted, holding my hand out.

"I-I-I-I mean um," Speaking a bit softer, I held my hand to my lips. "She is uh, this is where the h-house of R-Rangiku is…"

My words weren't coming out right for some reason. They were shaky and unstable. Could it be possible that Rangiku knew Hisagi this whole time? That he was one of the friends that she talked of often going out drinking with? I continued to stutter some more inaudible replies. Hisagi gave me a bewildered expression in return.

"Well, may I come in?"He finally said.

I stepped aside pulling the door open. All except Renji, who still lay passed out across the floor, greeted Hisagi, to some degree. Ikkaku still wouldn't accept defeat and eagerly, albeit unsteadily, poured his twenty sixth cup of sake. Matsumoto despite all the alcohol she'd consumed seemed unaffected from it, aside from the tint of red across her cheeks. Yumichika seemed to have lost all interest with the competition and took to grooming himself in a nearby mirror. I stood there for a few seconds before mumbling "I'll go get some more sake…" But Rangiku and the others seemed to be distracted. Then I did what I knew how to do best.

I retreated to the kitchen.

I peeked out the little window above the sink that gave me a view of the living room. Hisagi had taken a seat in my previous spot on the couch. He seemed to be telling Rangiku something to which Rangiku listened halfheartedly. It appeared to be an apology from the way his expression looked pained. She waved her hand in an indifferent manner and gave a loud laugh. I could not tell what they were saying though.

I slowly eased away from the window and walked to one of the counters. My hands crept to my face and were greeted by the warmth radiating from my cheeks. Then my hands crept to my chest where I could feel my heart beeping rapidly.

Breathe! I yelled mentally. Breathe! I took in deep breaths attempting to calm myself. I'm not sure if I have the ability to go out there again, especially with Hisagi in the same room.

I looked around Rangiku's kitchen. Besides the obvious silverware, and bowls stacked in random piles on the counters her kitchen was quite nice. Her whole apartment was quite nice as a matter of fact. Of course this was only to be expected from a lieutenant. I reached for a bottle of sake lying on the floor and I held on to it like a baby holding a blankie. Is this really happening? Is he really in the room next to me? I must be hallucinating. I took another deep breath.

"Ayaaaameeee!" Rangiku's slurred voice echoed from the other room.

Sooner or later I'm going to have to come out there, I told myself. I decided to bring the sake bottle with me in order to have an excuse as to why I was in the kitchen so long. I twisted the cap off breaking the special seal. A circular object attached to the top broke off and fell into the bottle.

Curses! I better get that out. I reached my finger inside the small opening just barley touching the tiny metal piece that floated at the top of the container. If I had known he was coming I would've prepared myself better, I began to think as my fingers for the object. What am I going to say when I get out there? What if I make a fool of myself again and can't say anything. And why can't I get this annoying piece of metal out of this bottle! I finally managed to loop my finger through the circular item in the glass. Now all I have to do is pull it out. I tried moving my finger but it didn't seem to budge. Maybe a little bit harder, I thought. I tried pulling out my finger again. Still no progress.

"Where are you, Ayame?" Rangiku called again.

"Uhh…" I stared hopelessly at the bottle that held my finger captive.

"I'll um, I'll be right there! I'm just having a little um, trouble…" I called back.

I put the bottle on the counter to give me more balance while my free hand griped the bottle's neck. I tried yanking my finger out but it seemed like no matter what method I used my finger stayed put. This is awful! I can't go out there with a gigantic sake bottle attached to my finger. I whimpered. Why do these things always happen to me? The shuffle of feet was fast approaching. I looked around frantically. There was nowhere to hide. I hid my finger with the bottle still attached behind my back.

Hisagi appeared in the doorway holding used cups. He looked surprised to see me.

"Oh, hey" He put the cups in the sink. "I thought you had left." He walked over towards me.

This was the last person I wanted to see me in my pathetic predicament.

"I'm Shuuhei Hisagi by the way, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier."

He held out his hand towards me giving me a slight smile. The smile wasn't overfriendly but it had a genuine kind quality to it. I looked at his outstretched hand and blushed. Making sure not to put out my right hand with the bottle attached I placed my left hand lightly within his. He switched hands in return.

"M-m-m-my name is…Ayame, Sato-I mean Sato, Ayame. Nice to meet you." I managed to choke out.

I averted my gaze to the floor hiding my face behind my veil of lavender hair. I could feel his eyes lingering on my face for a few moments. He let go of my hand and we stood there awkwardly for a couple more seconds. My hand drifted slowly back to my side. A warm sensation traveled up my arm.

"This place is a mess." He said commented offhandedly looking off at the sink full of dishes.

I simply nodded focusing on his Lieutenant's armband insignia.

"How long have you known Rangiku?" He asked casually.

"Oh, uh-j-just for a little while. I'm kind of new" I responded.

I could feel his stare once again and my heart rate rose. He me opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it, as if rethinking his choice of words.

Come on Ayame! Say something. I tried asking him how long he'd known Rangiku, but all that came out was air. I felt as if my throat had been paralyzed.

"What division are you in?" He asked.

"The Eighth Division." I answered.

"Captain Kyoraku and Lieutenant Ise..." He started but trailed off as if thinking of something to say.

More seconds passed.

"It looks like I got here a little too late. Everyone seems to be out already."He said.

I stood quietly and nodded.

"Are you going home soon?" He asked.

"Oh um, I-I guess so…"

I felt the bottle behind my back. It was a bit heavy. So I decided to rest it on the counter behind me.

"What's that?" He asked seeing the bottle on the counter.

"Oh this?" I asked as if I had no idea what he was talking about. "Uh, i-it's just…" I stuttered.

"Are you stuck?" He asked.

"Oh, It's nothing…I-I was just trying to um, get this um," I couldn't think of an appropriate excuse to cover up my stupidity.

"Here, let me see"

I lifted up my hand looking like a small woodland creature that had just been trapped in a cage. He looked at finger for a moment. His warm hand gripped mine while the other held the bottle. With a quick light pull the bottle easily slid from my finger. My finger felt relieved. How could it have come off so easily? I looked at my hand in amazement turning it around and wiggling my forefinger as if it were new.

"Thank you" I whispered too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"It's fine"

He stood there with container in hand. A few more quiet seconds pass.

"I can walk you home if you want. I'd hate for you to go alone this late at night."

I was surprised at his generous offer.

"N-no I couldn't-I mean y-you probably would have to walk a long way and,"

"Are you sure? Because it wouldn't really be a problem…"

He walked into the living room over to Renji he laid completely sprawled out on the floor. I followed. He lugged him over his shoulder.

Yumichika and Ikkaku seemed to have already left. Rangiku had fallen asleep on the couch with a half empty bottle in her hand. I stood in the middle of the living room wringing my hands. Hisagi looked around the living room. He looked over at a Rangiku for a couple of seconds before turning towards the door.

"Will you be okay?"

I looked over a Hisagi. He stood in the doorway holding up Abarai's motionless body. His expression was still the same as before, a bit stoic, but he there was a hint of concern. I nodded. He turned and exited out the doorway.

Before leaving he said "Maybe we will see other again."

I watched him leave until he flash stepped into the night. The darkness enveloped him. I stared out the doorway for a couple more minutes. Then it hit me. Why didn't I accept his offer to let him take me home? That would have been the perfect chance to talk to him some more. But the feeling of regret was soon washed away by the fluttering happy feeling in my heart. He did touch my hand. I held my right hand to my heart. I breathed deeply to calm myself, closing my eyes in the process. He actually knows who I am. I blushed at this thought. Rangiku began muttering in her sleep. Something about her "breasts" and "suffocation". I looked over at Rangiku who positioned herself to the side. The least I could do was clean up a little before I leave.

It was rather late at night when I came back but I was persistent to write in my diary again. I lit a candle on my desk in order to light up my desk area and opened my notebook to a clean page.

Dear Diary,

You may not believe it but I met Hisagi at Rangiku's party this night. What were the chances that I'd meet him today? One out of a million! We actually held a conversation too (more or less). I really need to practice my conversational skills. Of course I embarrassed myself as usual though. He'll probably know me as the strange girl who hides in the kitchen and gets her fingers stuck in bottles. How mortifying! But he did offer me a walk home. It was really polite of him but I'm sure he was just doing it to be nice. Anyways, he's a lot dreamier than I remember. He's gotten so muscular!

He said he maybe we'll see each other again. I hope he's right. Then maybe I'll have a chance to redeem myself.

I closed book. Then I rested my head in my arms on my desk. Hisagi Shuuhei, I wondered. I smiled to myself. Fantasizing about what I'll have the courage to say the next time we meet.

* * *

Once again, I'm really really REALLY sorry for the wait. I appreciate anyone who's been patiently waiting because I know it's been like twenty weeks. Hopefully I will have the next chapter out (realistically speaking) in two weeks or less. :)


	5. Page 5

I'm starting to think that maybe a goal of a chapter each three weeks is the most reasonable...

I don't own any Bleach, this all belongs to Tite Kubo.

* * *

In the secluded forests deep within the untouched regions of Rukongai in Soul Society…

A fairly large man stood leaning against a tree. He looked in indifference at the figure toiling before him.

"If you're going to pay off you and your sister's rent you better work faster than this." He sighed in a smug voice. The coldness of his voice conveyed his obvious contempt for the boy in front of him. The young child who barely had hair stubble on his chin, picked up the large wheel barrow full of wood. His legs were buckled under the immense weight. The wooden handles dug into his hands which were already raw from lugging around lumber. The man roared moving from his position on the tree.

"This isn't nap time! Get back to work!"

The child weakly got back on his feet. Yet the man was impatient and unsatisfied with the child's pace. He gave him a sharp nudge with his sandal.

"Worthless piece of crap…." The man murmured.

There was an oddness to the air which caused both the child and he man to stop. A cool breeze rustled the leaves and the bushes overhead. The man looked up in interest.

The rustling noises became more intense. The man looked back at the boy, who stood staring at him with a terrified expression. The boy suddenly dropped the cart full of lumber to the ground. His legs carried him as fast as they could, stumbling over roots and rocks.

"Hey! Come back here!" But the man's frustrated voice was soon lost within the trees. The trees rustled again but this time the sound was much closer. Feeling an ominous presence he turned around to see what the boy could have been looking at.

"H-Hello?" The man asked, his voice a bit shaky with uncertainty. His eyes scanned his surrounding area frantically. Only trees lay scattered in the distance. He shrugged his shoulders. Writing it off as nothing more than a draft, he picked up the crate of lumber and began to move. A high pitched ringing sounded through the air.

Suddenly his body was engulfed in darkness before he disappeared into to nothingness. And no one was there to hear his scream…

Dear Diary,

I'm wondering if I should tell Rangiku about my crush on Hisagi. I've never told anyone before so I'm a little afraid of how she will react. I've begun to notice lately that she's really popular with a lot of the men around here. I guess I should have known though, since she's so pretty. If I do tell Rangiku maybe she can help me to be more outgoing like her. Rangiku is really talkative, so chatting with guys comes naturally to her, like tripping over rocks comes naturally to me. I just hope she doesn't laugh at me though for my crush on Hisagi. That would be really embarrassing! She might even tell him! Who knows how good friends they are, but I don't think Rangiku would do that. She's not a mean person at all.

I also need to start training some more soon. While helping to lead the eighth division in practice yesterday, one of the shinigami almost took out my eye during a sparring match. I was a little humiliated to say the least. Especially since my zanpakuto decided it didn't feel like releasing itself that day. I had to play it off like I was sick but I'm sure everyone didn't believe me. My cough was pretty pathetic.

Unsure of how to end my entry for the day I closed my notebook and put it back into the cabinet in my desk. I laid my head on my desk's wooden surface. It felt cold against my cheek which made me shiver. My zanpakuto rested against the wall next to me. I glared at it but it simply ignored me, silently laughing at my attempt to be intimidating. Sigh. Closing my eyes let my hair fall over my face. How am I going to get respect from my Lieutenant or my fellow shinigami if my zanpakuto won't even listen to me? I sighed again. All this paperwork and official shinigami duties have made me a little stressed. Sometimes I ask myself why I even became a shinigami in the first place.

My mind began to drift off again, something that it does quite too often. To that moment before I even knew what a shinigami was. That moment when I realized what I wanted to be…

Flash Back to Pre-Teen Years

Homemade bread lay covered in my basket. It was still fresh and warm from coming out of the oven just a few minutes before. I inhaled deeply in order to smell its scent wafting through the air. I walked along the path way keeping my eyes glued to the road. It wasn't everyday that I got the opportunity to go to the marketplace by myself. The feeling of being on my own exhilarated me and terrified me at the same time. I shook my head to try to bring my mind back in focus. I was walking with a mission: trade the three loaves of bread for a new knitted wool blanket from the old lady whose cart is stationed three stores down. My mommy is usually the one who takes care of these types of things, but unfortunately my father was sick again. My mom had no choice but to stay home for the day and take care of him. This left me as the only able bodied person who could deliver the bread. It felt kind of good to know that I had a responsibility and contributed a little to the family. A man walking by carrying farming tools bumped into me, almost causing me to spill the bread in my basket. "I'm sorry" I whispered, feeling bad for not paying attention. I clutched my basket closer feeling the eyes of people walking near glancing at me. My mother said to be careful of people trying to steal the bread, especially the children, who tend to be the sneakiest.

I started to walk faster. I could feel the bread moving within the tightly woven basket.

The loud sound of game tiles clacking against a board could be heard in the distance. Off the side of the dirt path way leading into the village were bunch of kids. From all the cursing going on I would have mistaken them for a bunch of old men rather than children closer to my age. They sat under the shade of a tree, some standing and some sitting. I assumed that they might be gambling from the various sighs of frustration and the 'Yes!' of victory. I glanced over, curious as to what game they could be playing. One of the boys locked eyes with me causing me to quickly turn away.

"Ayame!" He called jogging over to me. The rest of the boys momentarily stopped their game to glance over at me. His face was a lot dirtier than usual but I recognized it nonetheless. His hair was scuffed and dirty from the evening's labor. And he was tan from being outside as usual. He was the son of a good friend of my fathers.

"Ginza?" I whispered.

It was odd not seeing him helping his father. Ginza trotted over shyly. He tugged at the hem of his wool shirt nervously looking back at the group of kids behind him. They shooed him on returning back to their game but I could still see them looking at us from the corners of their eyes.

"Where's your mom?" He asked.

"She's at home."

His glossy brown eyes rested on my slightly concealed basket under my arm. I unconsciously hugged it closer.

It was unusual for us to speak to each other. Not because we disliked each other but because it was a bit awkward. It had become quite obvious to me that our parents planned on us marrying each other soon. Whether or not it was because of economical or social reasons I was unsure. But when he and his family started coming over and visiting more often it became more apparent. I was a bit naïve but I wasn't completely stupid. My mother tried explaining to me once that her and my father might not always be there to take care of me. Our family was poor and did not have social status like others. We simply made bread for a living. So I was lucky that I had Ginza to marry me because he would inherit his father's farm and be able to feed me. I didn't understand what money had to do with marriage but I didn't want to ask and risk annoying my mother. I accepted that me and Ginza would be married to each other but it was still weird seeing him everyday knowing that we will live together and have kids and other stuff.

Ginza's tall rugged form loomed over me. He scratched the back of his head.

"What's in your basket?"

"Nothing," I winced at my own lie. I walked past him.

"You shouldn't walk by yourself. I'll escort you" He stated more than offered.

"But, you don't even know where I'm going"

I responded but he wasn't listening and soon fell in step with me.

I looked more closely at him. He was still young enough that he held a sort of innocent wide eyed look but his face was sullen and hard from the obvious hardships of working out in the fields. It didn't look like he had eaten in a while. His farm must not be doing well, I thought. I started to feel a little bad. Even though he can be rude sometimes he's been really nice to me lately. I looked back at my bread basket. I remembered that earlier I had helped my mom bake some bread. Most of it had not come out as planned so we had to feed it to the birds but I still had some left in my pocket that I was saving for later. I put down my basket to reach into my pocket. Ginza looked over at me to see what the holdup was.

"Here, I made it myself."

I offered the small slice of bread. He took the bread in his hands turning it around and inspecting it before plopping it into his mouth. He chewed it for a couple of seconds before spitting it out.

"It's a little gross."

"Sorry" I apologized slightly irritated.

"It's ok. You'll learn to cook better I guess."

What was that suppose to mean?

"How is your farm?" I asked trying to be polite.

He crossed his arms and started leaning back on the heels of his feet.

"It's okay. Me and my dad have to make sure we get in enough wheat before the season is over."

"Oh,"

We stood silently for a little while.

Then I heard a shifting noise from behind me. I turned around to find one of the guys from under the tree holding open my bread basket. Other boys gathered around him looking hungrily at the basket's contents.

"Excuse me-Uff" One of the larger boys nudged me aside causing me to fall flat on my back. The air flew out of my chest from the impact. I pushed myself back up again. The boys were making their way off the roadway path and headed towards the woods. "Hey give that back!" Ginza yelled. Ginza looked back at me only for a few seconds before following after the group.

"Ginza don't…" I said weakly.

I sat there in shock and unsure of what to do. I needed those loaves of bread for that blanket. I couldn't return home without it. I cautiously started jogging after them. Despite Ginza's and I's calls they kept moving, making their way deeper into the woods. I was unfamiliar with this Ginza and the boys were leaving me behind. My short legs were becoming sore already.

Then a loud screeching sound resonated through the air. Everyone stopped midstride. I clutched my ears to try to protect myself from the awful sound. The ground was trembling and I tried my best to stay as close to the floor as possible.

What is going on?

A large animal like creature emerged before us. Its body was black and it stood on four large paws. I looked in horror at the ghastly creature. I had never seen something like it before. Worst of all was its face which resembled a white mask of some sort with large jagged teeth. In the middle of its chest was hole that went straight through its heart.

"I-I-It's a hollow!" One of the kids stuttered in disbelief.

"Run!" Screamed another. The boys scrambled off the ground, moved away from the direction of the hollow. The menacing creature outstretched its large black paw towards one of the children running past me. Grabbing him by his leg, it dangled him above its mouth.

Get up. I told myself. Get up. I couldn't feel my legs for some reason. I started to run in the direction the other guys were going in. Then I heard a blood curdling scream. Ginza lay in the grass behind the hollow. He was furiously trying to dislodge his caught foot from a bush. My heart was racing.

I ran over to him to his side keeping a wary eye on the hollow not too far away.

"Help! My foot's stuck," He pleaded still trying to get his foot from the tangle of the vines. The hollow gave a satisfied laugh, obviously done with the boys from earlier. Ginza held out his hand up towards me for help, but I hesitated. I was only a couple meters away from him. The monster spotted Ginza's and I's helpless figures and began making its way over to us.

Then fear arrested my body, rendering me unable to move. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move at all. The hollow was slowly moving in on us. I could hear Ginza's yelling escalating but I couldn't see him anymore because I had squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted the hollow to go away.

"Help me!" He yelled. This time his yell was bordering on a desperate squeak as he looked back in terror at the monster approaching us. His fingers fumbled over the constricting plant. They tugged at it more forcefully but to no avail.

All I wanted to do was deliver some bread!

My eyes were burning and my cheeks were warm. I had to help Ginza. I don't want him to die…but...I don't want to die either. If only I was brave. Then maybe I could….

I squeezed my eyes shut again.

I couldn't recall what happened after that. There was screaming,but I couldn't recall if it was mine or Ginza's, then silence.

My legs gave out from under me and I collapsed to the floor and held my head in my arms.

"_Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and then claw out your own throat!_" A male's voice bellowed.

The hollow unleashed another appalling sound but this time it seemed to be of pain.

A few seconds passed. I didn't feel anything. I peeked from under my arms. Before my eyes were the feet of someone's tabi sandals. The person had mid length black spiky hair. He wore blue hakama pants and a white haori with a blue stripe on each side. He looked down at me. His piercing dark eyes were quizzical. He continued to give me a hard stare. His mouth was firm as if etched into stone.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He was soon joined by two other people with similar outfits. They seemingly appeared out of thin air. I looked around. There was no hollow in site.

I responded only with silence. I couldn't speak. Who were these people? Where was Ginza? Why am I still alive?

"What do you think a hollow was doing in this part of Rukongai?" The black haired boy turned to the larger male next to him. He seemed to ponder on the question for a bit before responding.

"I don't know, but we should report to the Shinigami leader, right away."

Maybe Ginza was still alive. Maybe these people saved him.

"What should we do with the girl, Hisagi?" Questioned the other. The boy named Hisagi returned his attention to me.

"She's a commoner, she'll be fine," Commented the other with a sigh.

"But shouldn't we take her home?" Hisagi asked. His eyes were a bit softer as he looked at my dirty face.

"We're already late, let's go," Snapped his teammate who'd became more irritated. Hisagi's teammates gave each other annoyed looks. The other two disappeared from beside Hisagi jumping off into the woods.

"Will you be okay on your own?" He asked me.

Everything about my body felt light and airy. The only thing that felt concrete and stable was the raven haired boy's hand on my shoulder.

I nodded my head slightly.

He looked at me, unconvinced but began walking into the direction that his teammates had gone.

"You saved me, why?" My voice was shaky.

He paused only slightly before answering my question.

"We are shinigami. It is our duty."

He left before saying one last thing.

"Be careful."

I do not remember much after that. Somehow I must have stumbled home though. I didn't see neither Ginza nor the boys hanging out near the tree anymore. I tried to convince myself that maybe they had moved their hang out to a different spot. Or that maybe Ginza was mad at me for being too afraid to help him.

I was so convinced that Ginza had gotten away that I had composed multiple theories on ways he could have escaped. The hollow probably decided it didn't like the taste of farm boys and let him go or maybe Ginza was so fast that the hollow wasn't able to catch him. It was not until his parents came looking for him that I realized that Ginza was really not here. His mother would come over, her face wrinkled and her eyes red, with an empty look on her face.

I did not come out of my room when they came over. I did not want to look at her face. I realized it was my fault Ginza died. He died because I was afraid for myself. If I hadn't hesitated and thought only about myself when he cried for help then maybe he would still be here. Then maybe his mother's ashen face wouldn't haunt me so. So much, to the point where the guilt made me fall ill. I was angry with myself and my cowardice. For months I sat on our floor staring at the thatched roof. If only I could be brave, like that shinigami…

* * *

I hadn't thought about that memory in a long time. It made me realize how far I've gotten and that my journey still isn't over. I'm here for a reason. I have to be brave in memory of Ginza. I need to be brave like Hisagi. That means I need to get stronger. I decided that tomorrow I will start training but first, I yawned, time to get some sleep. I slept on my desk and let the sweet escape of my dreams envelope me.

* * *

Sorry for the wait...again! Hopefully I'll have more time during Thanksgiving. I'm also sorry if this chapter seemed...not up to par, I guess. Anyhoo, feel free to criticize, comment or whatever you like to do. Anything I need to improve on? Anything I should develop more? Or anything that you like? Tough criticism is also welcome!


	6. Page 6

So...Yeah. It's been a while hasn't it. I'm terribly sorry but hopefully this chapter will be better.

**I do not own any characters from Bleach, these characters and the world they live in belong to Tite Kubo.**

* * *

**(Hisagi's Pov)**

It was a rather normal day, in a rather hectic Ninth Division…

I walked a bit faster than usual, today. Not that I wasn't usually in a hurry nowadays but It seemed to be that I had a lot more than usual to do on this day for some reason. My eyes were fixated on the approaching room before me. I slid the door slid open to reveal the chaos before me.

The entire room resembled that of a tornado tragedy. Shinigami were running into shinigami left and right without a single 'excuse me'. Others sat at a few desks placed across the room writing furiously. Most were doing more scribbling than writing as they suffered from the severe case of writer's block. To anyone else form a different division witnessing this scene would come as a great shock but to me this was just a normal day. Especially since this was the day before Seireitei Communication magazine was due to be released this month.

Despite the fact that the magazine has been released every month on the same day for years, and I go out of my way to make paced schedules for the revision duties, people still seem to 'forget' and or procrastinate till the day before its release. When the people who make up the editing department put off the magazine till the day before, chaos is what tends to happen. There wasn't much that I could do now though. We'll just have to work hard and do our best to get it published on time. The loyal readers of Seireitei prescribed to our monthly issues are counting on us. I also didn't want to disappoint Rangiku, the 'boss' when it came to the magazine.

"Keep up the good work Shinigami!"

I said encouragingly. They responded with a collective 'Yes, Lieutenant' before returning back to their work.

At least I was able to finish most of my paperwork last night, so this day won't be too busy. I began to make my way to the Captain's office. Passerby's who were probably heading off to their morning practice session, bowed when seeing me. I nodded in response, humbled by the fact that so many of his division were so respectful. I hadn't been expecting everyone to be so supportive, particularly after 'the incident' that occurred not some time ago.

Finally I reached the end of the corridor. The Captain's office lay ahead. Even though most of my time is spent within these walls I couldn't come to call it my own office. I was still just a lieutenant, a stand-in for the next captain to take the old captain's place.

I pushed the two double doors open and stepped inside. In the middle of the room sat the large desk. The ninth division's insignia was engraved into its raspberry colored wood. It was rather large and extravagant desk, as was the room. Unnecessarily large especially since it's Captain never used the desk. At times the grandeur of the room was a little bit intimidating. After staring at the room for a few moments I took a seat at the desk. No time for daydreaming, I need to finish this work.

Within ten minutes I was finished with my set of paperwork. I leaned back in my chair and gave a satisfied sigh.

"Lieutenant Shuuhei!"

I sat back up again to see who was entering the office in such a hurry.

A young shinigami ran up to me carrying a stack of papers. He breathed heavily before placing them on the desk with a loud thump.

"Here are the documents concerning those liability issues, the resumes of our new recruits, the updates for the recent happenings in the Human World, and the practice schedule template for the next few weeks, Sir."

I suppressed the urge to push the ridiculously large stack of evil into a nearby trash can and conveniently forget it ever existed, but I'm sure that wouldn't go over so well with the higher ups. I guess it can't be helped. Hiding my obvious disdain I smiled at the young shinigami thanking him for his hard work.

He left to leave the room. Before he could reach it the door swung right open, knocking him out in the process.

Renji walked haughtily through the doorway totally oblivious to the unconscious form he was stepping over.

He looked strangely at the poor soul on the ground before turning his attention to Hisagi.

"Yo, Hisagi!" Renji greeted cheerfully.

A slight moan came from the shinigami.

I felt bad for him.

"Renji! What the hell are you doing here?"

Although I enjoy hanging out with Renji often, we hadn't been able to see each other as much as I'd liked due to the recent events in Soul Society. So it was a bit unusual to see him in my office without any warning. I hadn't really seen any of my friends recently except for that short visit to Rangiku's for drinks. And no one was even sober when I came.

"To tell you the truth I'm not really sure. I was taking a walk when Matsumoto stopped me and made me deliver something to Lieutenant Nanao because she was too lazy to do it. Now somehow I ended up becoming the delivery boy and I'm delivering things all over the place."

Renji looked back at the memory with irritation before remembering something and rummaging through his pocket.

"So uh, here"

He handed me a letter. The official Soul Society symbol was impressed on its cover.

"I'm going to that old bar tonight. Matsumoto invited me, Kira, Yumichikia, Ikkaku and some other friends."

"Did she invite me?" I asked.

Renji rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"Now that I think about it, I don't think she said anything about you..."

I responded with a somewhat disappointed 'Oh'. Yet, I wasn't surprised that Rangiku had forgotten me either.

"But you should come anyways."

I paused before responding. "I've got too much to do."

"You always have too much to do. Take a break once in a while. Besides you haven't been looking too well these days."

I haven't been looking well? What is that suppose to mean?

Renji waited for a reply.

"But it was just a thought. See ya there then."

"Bye."

I looked at the pile of papers scattered across my desk. The envelope stood out from the rest against the black and white.

I should probably open this envelope first. I created a rip in the paper and pulled out the document inside. It seemed to be a letter from the Covert Ops. My eyes gazed across its contents.

It stated:

There has been a recent outbreak of attacks in the Seireitei sanction of Soul Society. The attacks had only been minor occurrences at first but are now brimming to the extent of a potential threat. Investigations have been sent but we fear this might unravel into to something quite troublesome. As leader of the Soul Society's main defense squad we thought it would be best to inform you of this upcoming event. We have made plans for you to meet with us soon in order to hopefully prevent this impending danger. We have arranged for someone who may be of use to help you with this situation.

-Soi Fong

I closed the letter and tucked it back within the envelope. I hadn't heard of any attacks in Soul Society recently. What could be going on?

The ominous stack of paperwork still sat on my desk. I should finish this work though, before I do anything else.

After hours of tedious paperwork…

The pub was surprisingly close to the ninth division so it didn't take me long get there.

I passed through its doors to see my loud red headed friend and my quiet blonde friend talking to each other at the bar area.

"Renji! Kira!" I waved at my fellow vice captains.

Kira turned around in his stool and beamed brightly.

"I hope you weren't too busy"

"Of course not."

Yumichika and Ikkaku sat next to them bickering over who was to get the seat on the corner of the bar.

"Who else is coming?" I said looking around for Rangiku.

"Rangiku said she'd be here soon, I think. She went shopping with Ayame."

Ayame? Why did that name sound so familiar?

Renji must have noticed the thoughtful look on my face.

"Ayame, she's kind of quiet, a little pale, and short with long purple hair." He said signaling with his hand her height from the floor.

That girl from Rangiku's party. I remember now.

"Ah"

"She's nice though, once you get to know her…"

Kira added.

"Hey! We're here!" Matsumoto called loudly upon entering the bar.

People chatting gave her an annoyed look but quickly turned back to their own conversations. She burst through the door almost knocking over a poor man with her bosoms. Following behind her was that girl named Ayame. She followed behind Matsumoto giving the others around her an apologetic look for Rangiku's sudden entrance.

Ayame's eyes were focused on the floor in front of her. Her lilac colored hair was draped over her face like a silk curtain hiding any hope of seeing what her current expression was.

She was rubbing the hem of her sleeve like before. Her feet were pointed slightly inward. All signs of obvious discomfort.

I'd originally come o see Rangiku. So I wasn't quite sure why I found myself looking at Ayame. She just looked so…different. It was as if I had missed something that I hadn't seen before when we had first met.

Her eyes slowly raised and met with mine. Self consciously we both averted our gaze from one another.

**Earlier that day… (Ayame's POV)**

"Soooo, who do you like?"

I should have known this question was coming up. Matsumoto had been probing me about my relationship status and taste in men all day long. Rangiku looked at me with a mischievous look.

We walked down a semi crowded street. Women selling clothing, food and pottery were set up on either side of us. Rangiku nudged me in my rib cage jokingly but ended up nudging my boob because she was considerably taller than me.

"Come on! There must be some guy you have thing for. Some special hottie you've had your eye on."

Rangiku winked promiscuously. I blushed pretending to be interested in the display of an elderly woman to our left.

"These earrings look rather cute don't you think."

I pointed to the golden studs that were hanging next to an array of other jewelry. Rangiku did her signature playful pout.

"Don't try to change the subje-OH! You're right! These would look absolutely gorgeous with that mink coat I got from the human world" She squealed with joy admiring the detail of the jewelry.

"Now all I need are some heels and I'll be set…"

I stood back and watched as Rangiku continued to gush the possible outfits she could make. I took a seat with the bags held in my hand. Rangiku sure knows how to shop!

My feet were a bit sore but Rangiku's constant chatting seemed to distract me from that fact. She appeared to be feeling extra prying today.

It would be best to not tell her about Hisagi. It would be way too embarrassing.

Rangiku walked out of the store proudly carrying her new purchase in her hands.

"I haven't been able to get anyone to go shopping with me lately! They're all either too busy or too lazy. It's not good for a woman like me to be alone too often."

Rangiku whined. I smiled at Rangiku. I was almost positive that Rangiku always has someone willing to hang with her.

"But back to the conversation before. I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of who you like."

"Wh-What are you talking about. I-I don't like anyone." My voice cracked.

Could I have really been that obvious. Hisagi and I really hadn't interacted that much and I hadn't seen him for months now.

But Rangiku and the guys do occasionally talk about him. Had my reactions to their conversation given it away?

"Kira."

How could she have kno-! Oh, wait a second. Kira?

I gave her a slightly perplexed look. She nodded her head wearing a I-totally-knew-it-all-along-so-don't-try-to-hide-it face.

"I was surprised when I hadn't noticed the chemistry before."

She continued.

Chemistry?

"But I've seen him looking at you a couple of times…"

"I-I'm pretty sure he w-was really just looking at an ant or something…"

"Don't be silly!" She countered.

"Beside you two would look cute together. You're both quiet and shy and adorable."

"Uhhh…" I wasn't sure what to say to Rangiku's slightly outlandish theory so I simply answered with silence. Not that I didn't like Kira but I didn't see us as a couple necessarily.

Well, at least she didn't really know who I liked.

"So when we go to the bar today I'll let you guys have some quality time by yourselves." She impishly grinned at me.

I had almost forgotten about hanging out at the today.

"Y-you really d-don't have to-"

"No need to thank me, I've already invited him."

"But you don't understa-"

"I'll even make sure you get a seat next to him."

I sighed. There was no use changing Rangiku's mind once she was set on something.

We continued walking until we got to the bar. The building wasn't all that large. It was a humble size. Rangiku burst through the doors and I followed.

We walked toward the bar where Renji, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Kira, and…Hisagi sat next to each other. I was surprised to see him.

Rangiku shooed Renji over two seats to make room for me to sit next to Kira, which was not done so discreetly I might add.

She then gave me a playful wink and a pat on the back which also wasn't done so discreetly at all.

Thankfully Kira didn't seem to notice. Or if he did he was too busy listening to the Hisagi.

I sighed and took my seat on the end next to him. Rangiku took her seat across from Renji.

I've been hanging out with Rangiku's friends for a while now so I was a bit familiar and more comfortable with them. Hisagi however was a surprise to spot. I hadn't really seen him since that incident in Rangiku's kitchen. He seemed much happier now for some reason though. He looks a lot better when he's smiling.

I couldn't help though to feel to some extent embarrassed when I look at him. I reminded myself though, that I was here to have fun, and I shouldn't feel uncomfortable or shy. That was easier said than done because I look at his face with breaking out into a blush.

The man at the bar handed out tall cups of sake. He looked at me for a second, as if considering whether or not I was old enough to drink.

"Only adults are allowed at the bar."

"I am an adult." I said defensively. I knew I was short but I didn't think I was that short!

He looked me up and down before shrugging in an uncaring manner and proceeded to fill my cup.

I've never been a fan of alcohol but I didn't want to appear 'sheltered' as Rangiku put it. I looked over at Rangiku. She gave me encouraging thumbs up. I raised the cup to my mouth.

Well here I go. I gulped down a big amount into my mouth. Maybe a little too much more than I had wanted. I quickly coughed in response to the pungent taste. As soon as the liquid touched my throat it created a burning sensation. I coughed violently holding my parched throat.

"Woo-Hoo!" Cheered Rangiku.

"Haha you shouldn't force it down so quickly next time."Renji laughed.

I wasn't prepared for the sake's stinging sensation. I couldn't believe people like Rangiku drink this everyday by the gallons.

"Are you okay?" Questioned Kira with a concern look on his face. Hisagi looked over also.

My attempt to assure him I was fine only came out as another violent fit of coughing.

Everyone seemed to be laughing even Hisagi. Needless to say I was a little embarrassed.

If I were categorize Hisagi I would put him down as the more silent type. Even though he took part in the conversations and his responses were very involved he wasn't as loud as Renji, he wasn't as talkative as Yumichika, and he wasn't as boisterous as Ikkaku. He did talk more than Kira who was more soft spoken than him but it seemed like he didn't convey exactly what he was thinking.

When asked of his opinion on a subject he usually gave a cool collected logical answer. He appeared to think about what he was going to say before he said it as if his answers were going through a series of revisions and were being filtered before leaving his mouth. With Hisagi, it was almost near impossible to tell what he was truly thinking. I never considered myself to have the great ability to read people but I usually felt like I could tell. Hisagi was over all mysterious. He seemed disengaged from his conversation. Every so often for some reason he would look at Matsumoto briefly then look back into the contents of his cup as if there was something important inside.

As the day waned, more and more drinks were ordered. Ikkaku and Yumichika soon left saying they had training to get back to. I wasn't surprised at the amount of alcohol intake from Rangiku and the others so I wasn't surprised that Hisagi had drunken just as much as they did. He however could 'hold his liquor' better than the rest. Though his cheeks were a bit rosy and his speech was a bit slurred there was no other signs to convey his drunkenness. Rangiku as per usual when she was drunk was laughing loudly and ordering more drinks.

The whole time I had been sitting twiddling my thumbs and occasionally answering a question or two. Rangiku whispered something in Renji's ear before looking back at me and winking again. I looked at her strangely. Then she signaled to Kira sitting next to me. Sigh.

She yawned "It's getting late. Me and Renji will see you guys later." Matsumoto left with Renji but not without taking her cup of sake.

Shortly afterwards Kira got up from his seat too.

"Well I must be going; I have quite a lot of work to do." Kira apologized getting up from his seat. He clasped his hands together and bowed to each of us.

An empty seat where Kira once sat lay between me and Hisagi.

This would be a good chance to talk to him, I thought with determination.

"You can scoot over a seat if you want" Hisagi offered. I looked at him dumbly. Oh okay. I clumsily climbed into the chair next to him. We sat in silence for a while.

I'll just say hi or something like that. So it won't be so awkward.

"I-I-It l-looks like it's ju-just us." I tried to say jokingly only for it to come out as a nervous laugh.

"Yeah" He responded h coolly.

"Are you going t-to stay…" I asked hesitantly.

He looked at his sake cup for a while before answering.

"I think I'm going to stay here for a while."

"D-Do you mind i-if I stay?" Hisagi looked surprised at my question.

"I don't mind at all." He responded. Once again, the silence.

"Ayame, right?" He asked turning to me

"Uh, yes."

"Do you drink alot?"

"Um" I blushed. "I ha-haven't really, um, I don't usually…"

"You'll get used to it."

"This type of sake," He said holding up his half empty cup.

"Has kind of a bitter taste to it. It requires sort of a tolerance to really appreciate it."

"Oh,"

"Hey waiter! Can you get me something lighter to drink?"

The waiter sighed and returned with a large keg where he refilled both Hisagi's and I's cups.

"This kind is much sweeter than the other you tried earlier."He explained referring to my near death experience with the substance.

I was hesitant to try another cup but I forced it to my lips. This time I drunk it a lot more slowly. It still stung my throat but at least I didn't choke to death like before. The drink almost had a fruity taste to it which I liked. Hisagi noticed the slightly scrunched face I made. He looked apologetic but slightly amused at the same time.

"Like I said before, you'll develop a tolerance." He laughed.

He consumed his cup in one gulp. Seemingly unaffected by the alcohol's effects. It was becoming increasingly more difficult for me however to concentrate.

"Do you come here often?" I asked a feeling a bit more comfortable.

"Yeah, I haven't been here in a while because of work. When it rains though, I like to come here, usually by myself."

"Sometimes I like be-being alone too but I just stay in my room." I said quietly.

Hisagi looked at me thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry, that came out really stupid,"

"No, I agree"

"I feel at peace when I'm here by myself." He added. There was a silence again, but this time it wasn't an awkward silence. It was a contemplative silence.

"It's closing time." The bald man at the bar said while washing cups.

"I hadn't realized we were the only ones here." He said lightheartedly. He scratched his head once more.

"I guess we should go," He got up albeit sloppily but not even near as clumsily as I who only had a cup and a half.

"I'll walk you home this time."

I tried to hide my blush. I didn't want him to go through the trouble for me. Since it was already late and I bet he was tired but walking home with him would be such a dream come true.

"Thank you." I said quietly averting my gaze to the floor.

We walked together, side by side. Occasionally we talked about trivial things like 'Where was I from?' or 'How is the Eighth Division?' I found out that he comes from a modest background and worked his way up to vice captain of the Ninth Division. I also found out that his been best friends with Kira and Renji since Shinigami Academy Days.

That's when Hisagi had asked me a strange question. He looked at me for a couple of seconds. He was on the verge of saying something but then would quickly rethink it.

"Do you ever feel empty?"

I couldn't understand what the meanings behind his words were but I brushed it off as a mere side effect of the alcohol.

Huh? "What do you mean?" I asked.

By this time I had already guessed that Hisagi was a bit drunk. He walked unsteadily frequently rubbing his forehead. The question seemed to come out of the blue.

I cut a glance at Hisagi's face. His dark eyes seemed to go on forever. The way the light from the moon illuminated his hard facial features and powerful eyes. The same eyes that I couldn't stop looking at so many years ago, also disturbed me at that same time.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I was speechless for some time before answering as best as I could.

"Sometimes, but when I watch the cherry blossoms trees I don't feel as empty anymore." I whispered.

We had already reached the gates leading into the Eighth Division.

"W-well it looks like I'm here. Um, Th-Thank you."I said quickly.

I wasn't sure what his expression was at that time because I was too busy hurrying off to the safety of my room. I think he may have said something. He may have even called out my name but I wouldn't be sure because I was too far run on adrenaline. I looked back only once but the tall dark figure that was Hisagi's was now replaced with single floating leaf drifting in the wind…

* * *

As I stated before I'm terribly sorry for such the long hiatus. I'll make a more specific schedule and post it on my profile. So you'll be able to see when each chapter will come out. Feel free to comment, and criticize. Critical criticism is welcome!


	7. Page 7

SHHHHHH...Yeah so I was pretty much a week behind on that release date. I have no good excuse, all I can say is that I will do better next time! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:**Bleach and the world of Bleach and the characters of Bleach all belong to Tite Kubo. I own no one but my original character. I also do not make money off these fanfictions (Please support the official release ect.)

* * *

Dear Diary,

I don't understand why some people are naturally gifted with the ability to say what they feel and think without embarrassing themselves in the process.  
I sadly lack this ability.

I'm also 100% sure that Hisagi thinks I'm a freak now because I'm unable to say anything without it coming out stupid.  
We were almost semi acquaintances too!  
How could I end up saying something so brainless about cherry blossoms.  
If only I had kept my mouth shut.

I couldn't really explain why I felt the urge to share something so personal with him all of a sudden.  
It must have been that strange sensation in the pit of my stomach that I felt when I looked into his eyes.  
Almost as if he silently needed me to say something.

Ever since this awkward walk home I've been too much of a coward to hang out with Rangiku in fear that Hisagi might show up.  
I can't even explain why I ran off all of a sudden in mid conversation.

I guess I'm forever cursed to be socially inept.

* * *

I laid my beaten purple notepad on the rock's surface beside me. It was relatively warm outside for early in the morning. My eyelids were heavy with the  
weight of lack of sleep gained over the last few days. The fresh scent of damp pine trees tingled in my nose and gave me a giddy feeling despite my lack of energy.  
It was soundless, with only me and nature as my companion for miles. One may ask, what am I doing out in the wilderness, at the crack of dawn?  
To which I would answer: I'm training of course.

Or at least I'm trying to. In the mornings before the day would begin or on my days off I would hike out into the woods to get some meditation time.  
I found it peaceful being alone. I did not however enjoy the five mile trip to get here, nor did I enjoy waking up any time before noon.  
It's all for the best though so I can't complain.

Even though I come up here every day with precise specific goals and schedules of what I need to work on nothing tends to get accomplished.

It's not that I'm lazy per se. My mind just tends to get to thinking about things…

One moment I'll be practicing my strikes on a tree trunk and the next thing I know I'm building dirt and leave castles!  
I sighed.  
Not only has my scatter brained mind been giving me problems but zanpakuto too.

I looked at the unsheathed blade lying in my lap before me.

This secluded area has also provided me with the perfect environment to work on reaching Jinzen.  
There I would be able to speak and train with her face to face in her true form.  
All night I had been "arguing" with my zanpakuto spirit. Technically it was more of me pleading for her to behave and her ignoring me as per usual.  
It seems like she's always been a bit cold with me so her silence is never a surprise.  
Since I've arrived at my position in the eighth squad I've found it more difficult to release her shikai.  
For that reason over the course of the last few days, I've been practicing on communicating with my zanpakuto using Jinzen.  
Sadly, every time I felt as if I was getting close enough to reaching that mental state my mind would drift off again and I would lose my train of thought.

I closed my eyes inhaling deeply to calm myself. It seemed like the wild life around me engulfed me in a way. Submersing me within it's calmness.  
Not too soon the feeling in my body began to slip away, and my mind began to tingle with a fuzzy sensation.

I opened my eyes. It seemed as if I was transported into a an entirely different world. So this is Jinzen?

The surface I was sitting on no longer resembled a rock but a big sand dune. It was quiet in my inner world. Darkness like that of the night covered the area.  
Only the light given off by the abnormally large moon could be seen.

It appeared to be that I was on some sort of beach of some kind. Waves pushing back and forth across its surface touched my feet.  
The outline of a familiar figure standing a ways before me could be seen off in the distance. She stood back towards me, with feet submersed in the water..

That must be her.

I pushed myself off up from the sandy floor and made my way to the water.  
The water was cold to the touch but I forced myself to keep going.

"Hello?" I called out hesitantly. "Hikari?"

She was silent for a second.

"Hikari?" I called a little bit more forcefully upon reaching her.

Slowly turning toward me she gave a sort of cautious stare as if she unsure of whom I was. Her hair was black and polished.  
It was fashioned into a long large braid draped over her shoulder reaching almost to her knees. She was thin and wiry and her skin had an unnatural pale hue.  
Her outfit resembled that of a traditional Japanese priestess.. She had bandages covering her upper body concealing her chest.  
Her kimono like outfit had prints of koi fish decorated on it. She looked at me with sullen eyes, almost as if she had just woken up.

Her voice chimed like that of a bunch of bells. It was so light I could barely hear her voice.

"Ayame." She addressed me mockingly.

I was taken aback by her tart answer but quickly recoiled myself. It's time to stop beating around the bush.  
I need to get down to business.

"I don't understand why you feel the need to embarrass me in public."

She covered her moth almost as if she was giggling at me.

"You don't need my help to do that." She retorted.

I sighed.

I was silenced at this remark. My zanpakuto did not say much often but when she did say something it tended to be really mean.

"I don't want to argue with you again. All I want is to be able to use my shikai without having to deal with any major attitude problems."

She did not respond.

"I'm your master, so you need to start following my orders from now on." My attempt at a command came off as more of a plea that a mother would give to their three year old child.

She was silent again, which made me a bit frustrated. I was set on getting her to properly cooperate with me.  
So I wasn't going to stand for her insubordination.

"Hikari!"

"What?" She wined keeping herself busy with drawing circles with her feet in the water beside her.

I breathed in deeply. "What do I have to do to get your respect?"

She looked back at me with eyes unwavering and bright like that of a full moon. This was supposed to be my zanpakuto, loyal and trusting.  
She and I are supposed to be one.  
When I look at her I should see a reflection of myself, but for some reason I can't quite find any part of myself within her lazy, uncaring, haughty demeanor.

My zanpakuto spirit giggled.

"How do you expect me to respect someone, who can't even respect them self?"

I was still for a moment. I opened my mouth to reply but was disappointed when I knew I had nothing intelligible to say in return.

She turned around before uttering. "You should know that there's someone close by."

"What do you mea-?"

A large tremor erupted within Jinzen. I felt my mind come back to reality.

While coming out of my dream like state I almost fell off the rock I was sitting on.

What was that sudden spike in energy? I looked around frantically. Being in Jinzen had made me completely unaware of my surroundings.  
Someone with a large amount of reiatsu had arrived nearby.

I picked up my sword lying in front of me and placed it within its sash. The cluster of trees seemed even more ominous than before now that I knew I wasn't alone.  
I started heading towards where the large power source was located. It seemed to be moving at a decently fast pace.

"They're probably just shinigami." I assured myself. At least I think so. Who else would be out in the woods early in the morning?

I tried to be as discrete as possible lowering my reiatsu and staying a relatively longer distance away from the source while still being able to keep up.  
There appeared to be two sources of reiatsu and they seemed to be stopping. I slowed down my pace.  
Walking gradually till I had reached a clearing on the edge of a cliff I hid among the bushes.  
My eye sight was never the best, but I recognized the larger two of the figures had a furry like head, disturbingly similar to a dog's.  
The other man I knew too well since I'd been thinking about him all week.

Hisagi Shuuhei. What were the chances of seeing him in a desolate random part of in the uninhabited unknown woods of Seireitei?  
I don't know the exact calculations but probably less than zero.

But there he was, in all his brooding glory, arms crossed, face set, and eyes hard as stone.  
Him and the animal creature thing stood looking at a stone cross sort of thing. It appeared to be a grave of some sort but to who it was dedicated to, I wasn't sure.  
I blushed, it's not very becoming of a girl to stalk people. Especially people of higher rank than I. Obviously they came here for privacy.  
I shouldn't be here.

I looked at Hisagi. From this distance he looked like a mere stick figure.  
But I could tell as he held his head in his hands and his strange body position that there seemed to be something troubling him.  
This would be a mere guess since I do not really know much about his personal life, except for the bare essentials.  
I could only be left to assume that something was troubling him from this distance since I tend to observe people and their emotions.  
The large animal creature seemed to be telling him something but it was impossible to make out from where I was crouching. I turned quietly leaving from the area.

I began to realize that Hisagi was a bit different from when I'd "known" him during Shinigami Academy days.  
And yes, Hisagi watching was one of my main hobbies during school. I was strange, and I couldn't help myself.  
He was the main reason I decided to join the shinigami in the first place, I looked up to him. I admired him.  
If I wasn't daydreaming I was hiding in the shrubbery watching Hisagi speak with his friends,  
or I was peeking through the building windows appreciative his exceptional abilities during spar matches.

His serious appearance tended to repel many people but not I. I could tell he was a genuinely kind person.  
He said what he wanted using as less words as possible. I was convinced that I was in love with him even though he probably never knew I existed.  
I even imagined what our wedding would be like. But thank goodness I'm older now and I can control my stalking tendencies.  
Even though I've gotten the chance to talk to him I feel we could never establish a relationship beyond the occasional mandatory 'hi'.  
I'm just too odd.

I stopped on a tree branch to catch a gulp of air. Should I continue my training or should I just go home and call it a day?

And why do I feel like I'm falling over all of a sudden? So many questions so little answers.  
My feet suddenly fell off balance for some reason as if the whole tree was tipping over. Wait second, the whole tree is tipping over!

There was a loud almost tribal yell resonated amongst the trees.

Suddenly the tree shuddered. I could feel the vibrations nearly knocking me over.  
With the clumsiness of a newborn jackal I leaped semi fell out of the tree breaking a few branches on my way down.

The poor bush that broke my fall below never had a chance. The hefty tree landed with a great boom shaking the ground further.  
It landed blowing debris and dirt everywhere just barely missing my body by an inch.

"What a mess. You got tree chips and dust all in my hair." A voice remarked in the distance.

Another voice responded enthusiastically. "You're just jealous 'cus your lame ass shikai couldn't even flake a rock."

The voices were getting closer.

The debris and leaves made it hard to see. "It looks like you've killed something too." The voice commented off handedly.  
There were much closer now, almost right above me. I started to struggle within the greenery trying to break myself free.

"Or more like someone."

I felt a hand grab the collar of my kimono and yank me swiftly out of the rubble. A second later I was precariously pulled to my feet.  
I was a bit shaky from the fall and I stood hunched over and knees buckled.

The befuddled faces of Ikkaku and Ayasegawa gazed at me. Ikkaku removed his hands from my collar dusting me off a little.

"Ayame? What are you…doing?" Yumichika asked gesturing to my disgruntled appearance and hair full of leaves and sticks.

"Long time, no see." Ikkaku snickered.

Yumichika and Ikkaku seemed to be breathing heavily as if they'd been sparing beforehand.

"I-I was…uh, training, and um, this uh, tree" I began to babble.

"Sorry, the tree was my fault." Ikkaku said a bit more haughtily than apologetically.

"There usually isn't anyone here but us." Yumichika commented.

"Oh, I didn't know..." I responded.

I really thought I would be the only one here but I guess it would make sense that they would train here too, since I did find out about the area from them.

I was amazed to know that Ikkaku had such power to knock over a large tree like that. I wonder what type of training they were doing.

"So you were training huh, how's your shikai?" Ikkaku asked suddenly interested.

Yumichika sighed and went to lean against a tree trunk.

"Oh, my shikai? Well, uh, she's…" Sucks. Is what I wanted to say.

"How about we test it out. I've been looking for a new fight."

He said enthusiastically.

"Oh dear, um, I'm not v-very good…" Fighting Ikkaku, I'll pass.

"Psht. Don't be shy you can't totally be a that bad.I thought you said you were a fourth seat."

"She obviously doesn't want to fight you, moron." Said Yumichika from afar mumbling the last part of his statement.  
Ikkaku turned to the man filing his nails with a look of annoyance on his face.

"I wasn't talking to you! Ass-wipe!" He yelled.

Yumichika returned his glare with just as much strength, which was saying something since it is quite difficult to look intimidating when you use #32 Ultra Black eye liner.  
For a minute, I thought a vicious battle would ensue.

Ikkaku returned his attention back towards me. "Come on Fourth seat! It'll just be a friendly competition is all." He assured me while taking out his zanpakuto.  
His zanpakuto already seemed to be in its shikai. It was in the form of a long pole with a spear like blade on the end similar to that of a nagita.  
He held it with two hands offensively positioning his self for attack.

Right here! Right now! And Why me? If this guy is able to knock down fifty foot trees without a sweat then I'm surely going to die within seconds.  
I'm not ready at all.

Ikkaku's eyes seemed to burn with excitement as if he was anxious to see my ability. I'm not sure if he'll be all that impressed though.

I didn't want to give the impression that I was a weak sniveling coward so I hesitantly unsheathed my zanpakuto and took a defensive stance.  
Holding my sword shakily in front of me I hoped that Ikkaku wouldn't stab me through the heart the first five seconds of battle.

Relax I told myself. It can't be too bad. I'll just… try my best. That's all anyone can ask for, right? Just breath-

"Kyaa!" Ikkaku's battle cry rang through the woods. He lunged toward me with zanpakuto in hand, ready to strike. I let out a girly shriek.  
Opening my eyes, I saw Ikkau's nagita blade rested above my head.

"Are you ready or not?" Ikkaku asked a bit annoyed.

Embarrassment was the main emotion I was feeling at that moment. Partly because I had let out a scream that had been unfamiliar to me since my young pre-teen years.  
Secondly because I wasn't able to see that attack coming.

"Y-yes I'm ready" I said a bit unevenly.

I clutched the hilt of my zanpakuto tighter. Ikkaku backed up again before coming back at me. I lifted my blade to block his attack.  
He appeared to be testing my defenses because his attack didn't seem nearly as hard as it could have been. He jumped away from me again.  
Then he flash stepped through the air landing behind me. I turned, blocking his attack for the third time. We appeared to be at a standstill, his nagita pole pushing downwards on my katana.  
Ikkaku was obviously physically stronger than me.

My arm muscles, or at least my sorry excuse for arm muscles, were burning from the force of his zanpakuto pushing down on mine.  
It also did not help that I was considerably shorter than him, making it easier for him to hover above me.

A sort of smirk was panted across his face as if he had gotten me where he wanted me..

I wasn't going to give up so easily if that's what he's thinking. I mustered together all my strength to kick him in the stomach and push him backwards.  
Ikkaku's face wore something akin to surprise, as if he wasn't expecting such a kick from someone so diminutive and hushed. But he quickly regained his balance.

I took this momentary off guardness as an opportunity. I held up my zanpakuto before me. Please work, I begging you.

"Glow, Hikari to Kage!"

Nothing happened for a split second and I was afraid that she wouldn't respond, but the blade began to shimmer, almost sparkle.  
The hilt elongated into a silver pole. The katana blade formed into a curved blade resembling that of a quarter moon shape.  
The weapon was almost twice as tall as my height which forced me to spread my feet farther in order to support its weight.

It actually worked!

Ikkaku laughed. "So this is your shikai huh?" He pressed something on his causing it to break into three sections.  
Then he began swinging it around his head.

"I guess that means we can start the real fun…"

I stayed planted in my spot bracing myself for impact. With my new found confidence in releasing my shikai I might actually be able to hold my own…

* * *

So I'm really sorry about this chapter being so late and all. The other one should be out on time. After this chapter the following ones should pick up and get a bit more 'juicier' and exciting. Even *gasp* ALOT more interaction between Hisagi and Ayame (if you know what I mean jk).

I'm also thinking of starting another fanfiction along side of this one but who knows.

Anyways, please comment and review. Even send me a message if you like (I get lonely). I also love criticism (constructive criticism is welcome too!).


	8. Page 8

Sorry for taking so long. There was just SAT's and...and then I got addicted to this new anime...but anyways!

* * *

When I was a young academy student I heard many terrible stories about how cruel and bloodthirsty the eleventh division was.

While some of these rumors aren't completely true, the one about them enjoying fighting is completely. They are extremely skilled at melee type fighting.

Ikkaku was a perfect example of a vicious member of the 11th division. The borderline bloodthirsty look in his eyes proved that fighting was his life.

He lived for the thrill and he quite seemed to be enjoying himself, at my discretion. Whether or not my fighting brought him much of a challenge though, I was unsure.

His fighting style was a bit erratic. There was no telling where he could be lunging or what side he could possibly be attacking from.

Even though I tried not to convey my feelings, this thought made me anxious. I never fought someone so quick and hasty like Ikkaku before. His speed rendered me unable to figure out where he was going. Ikkaku jumped onto the tree branch above me. He readied his zanpakuto in his hands.

For quite some time I'd been on the defensive. Ikkaku would come out of nowhere and land a hit with his nagita and I would just barely block it with the pole of my zanpakuto.

It seems like I'll just have to figure out a battle plan on the fly.

I watched my opponent warily as he stood opposite from me. This was a chance to rest for a bit while he was busy. I didn't want to suggest how tired I was, so I pretended to be wiping something of my tab sandal.

Ikkaku laughed at my sorry attempt to appear less worn-out. He didn't seem at all exhausted from the spar so far. No beads of sweet, no slightly ripped clothing, nothing. Not even a shortness of breath. Everything on his body appeared neatly placed as it did before, or at least neat as an 11th division male would keep his.

"Are you sure you want to continue with this?" His voice wavered only slightly.

"Yes," Was the only answer I could manage to muster.

He looked at me doubtfully. I was holding myself up against the trunk of the tree. He could easily see that I was worn-out, and my beat up garments did nothing to show otherwise either. His expression soon turned into that of content though.

"I have to admit, I've never met a woman who could hold their own against me for such a long time. You've got guts."

I was slightly surprised at his compliment.

"But, you're going to have to do more than block me. Being on the defensive can only get you so far in battle." He added.

Ikkaku was right. A change in my battle strategy was needed or I'd be here blocking all day. It was about time that I started using my zanpakuto's special ability.

The weight of my zanpakuto leaned against my arm. I moved it from my shoulders and held it out in front of me.

Ikkaku took this as a sign that I was ready and charged once more with his nagita ready to strike. I closed my eyes only momentarily, waiting patiently for the right moment. As ikkaku was nearly three feet away from me I swung my moon shaped zanpakuto around me like a baton.

"Reflect the hearts of others, Hikari no Tsuki!" I whispered under my breath. A shimmering light crystallized around me forming a transparent barrier.

Ikkaku, already approaching for the attack, had too little time to respond. As momentum brought him forward his nagita landed on my iridescent barrier causing him to catapult backwards from a sheer invisible force. He crashed through a tree branch and landed on the ground with a sickening crack.

A mist of dirt rose from the ground around him, temporarily obscuring him from view. I was a bit astonished on the power that came from the attack. My zanpakuto was not necessarily an offensive type of weapon but it wasn't entirely defensive either. It is more of a counter attack type I guess I would say, since it relies heavily on the opposing user's zanpakuto itself.

Yumichika had taken to filing his nails during our spar battle. He soon regained interest when he heard the noise from Ikkaku's fall. He walked leisurely over to Ikkaku's body and poked him with a stick.

"Ikkaku? Are you dead?" Yumichika asked prodding him with his finger. I peered into the direction of the tree. "Ikkaku?" I called his name. I hope I didn't hurt him…

Before I knew it I was flipped though the air and landed on my back on the soft moss of the forest floor. Ikkaku stood over me, his pole pointing at my neck. He smirked but held out his hand towards me.

"Let's take a break for now."

After a series of fights and volleys, and much critique on my form, we decided to take a break from combat. A minor sense of pride filled my chest. Despite the fact that Ikkaku was probably going twenty times easier on me than he usually would, I still faired pretty well. At least I think I did.

I gave a lot more effort today than I usually would and it showed with the countless bruises covering my body. After Ikkaku's "pitfall" he didn't allow me much Leigh way. He was very helpful when it came to teaching me different techniques. I learned that as a fighter you should always keep your legs apart and slightly bent. That way you'll have more power when striking. It was a very useful tip.

Yumichika, Ikkaku, and I, sat around a tree. We munched on my poorly made rice balls I bought from home. Ikakku sat cross legged against the tree stump. He ate rice balls hungrily. "These aren't too bad." Ikkaku commented.

Yumichika, who was laid across a rock, took little bites of the rice balls but soon became dissatisfied with the lack of flavor.

"They're a little dry though." Yumichika complained.

"What do you know about food anyways?" Ikkaku yelled.

"Shut up baldy! Can I ever talk without your pea brained commentary?" Yumichika bit back.

They're voice seem to disappear in the background. My back was sore so I laid on the grass. Ikkaku and Yumichika was a funny pair. They sort of reminded me of Matsumoto and I. But we don't share that much in common unlike Ikkaku and Yumichika. They both really like to fight as I have noticed. The soreness shot through my leg when I rolled to my side. I must have let out a squeak because Ikkaku looked over at my direction.

"By the way,"

"Here. This should help with your soreness." Ikkaku handed me a small container taken from the hilt of his zanpakuto.

"A fighter should always carry medicine with him."

"Oh um, thank you."

I hesitantly took it in my hand. It was filled with a clear like gel. Ikkaku looked at me, waiting for me to put it on. I took a small amount of the creamy substance and rubbed it on my sides. Instantly I could feel relief.

"So…" Ikkaku looked at me for a second before clearing his throat nervously. "Have you heard about, that thing?"

"Thing?" I asked curiously. "I mean, what I meant to say-" Ikkaku averted his gaze to the floor. What was he getting all nervous all of a sudden for?

Yumichika looked over at his struggling friend and 'tsked'.

"He's trying to ask you if you're going to the fireworks festival."Yumichika interrupted.

"I could have said it myself." Ikkaku growled.

"Then why didn't you." Yumichika bit back snidely. They glared at each other for a couple of seconds. Yumichika broke off the stare and returned his interest towards me. "It's going to be really pretty this year." Yumichika continued.

"It's always a perfect opportunity to dress up my finest kimonos." He added in delight. "In other words he goes there in drag." Ikkaku commented under his breath. Yumichika continued on. He placed his hands against his heart, reflecting thoughtfully on past festival events. "All the flashy lights, the midnight summer air" He exhaled and sighed. "It's all so beautiful." Ikkaku rolled his eyes at his raven haired companion's muses.

"As I was saying, I thought it might be fun for you to hang out. Not that you have to or anything, it's just a suggestion." Ikkaku said.

"Yes that would be fabulous. Then I could give you a makeover." Yumichika added. I blushed. By now I was sitting up Indian style with my hands folded in my lap.

"That's very kind of you." I said a little unsure. I truly appreciated their attempt to involve me in their plans.

"And I'm sure Rangiku will disregard her lieutenant duties to come to." Yumichika said.

Ikkaku merely grunted in response. "So that would make the four of us, unless she brings Hisagi." Ayasegawa added thoughtfully.

"What makes you think Rangiku would bring him?" Ikkaku asked.

Yumichika looked pensive before telling his answer.

"But aren't they still…"

"How would I know?" Ikkaku said rather annoyed for some reason. "There's no need to be so rude about it." Yumichika pouted. My curiosity had peaked. What are they talking about? Why would they say Matsumoto would bring Hisagi, unless they're in a relationship? Could it be possible that Rangiku and Hisagi have some sort of affiliation that I've been completely unaware of? Or maybe even some continual relationship.

I pretended to be uninterested in the discussion between Ikkaku and Yumichika. I wished to infer further on the topic of Rangiku and Hisagi. But I felt out of my place to do so. It wasn't really my business what Hisagi or Matsumoto do during their personal lives.

However, I couldn't help but feel something tugging at my heart though. If you don't ask now, you'll never have an appropriate moment to do so. Now's your chance! My brain screamed. All I need to do is enter in the conversation as naturally as possible.

"Uh" I said getting Yumichika and Ikkaku 's attention. Not the most elegant way to enter in a conversation but oh well. I gathered myself. "Are Rangiku and Hisagi…" I trailed off unable to finish my question. "together?" Yumichika finished for me. "If you're asking about their relationship, there's not much to say." He saw my confused look and explained himself further.

"I'm not very sure on many of the details…" Ikkaku rolled his eyes once more

"…but I heard they had a sort of thing for a while. They never came out and said they were an item. So it was pretty private." My mind was stuck on the past tense of 'have'.

"Oh" I responded.

"What h-happened, i-if you don't mind."

"You're friends with Rangiku, so I'm sure you know how she is. She doesn't settle. Once she's gotten what she wants she moves onto the next guy."

"I'm pretty sure their relationship was more physical than anything else."

"Oh I see,"

"Why do you ask?" Yumichika glanced at me with a raised eyebrow.

"N-No reason, I just …" I waved my hands enthusiastically. I couldn't explain it, but I felt extremely disappointed for some reason. Almost as if I had expected Hisagi to never have dated before. Like me. This was quite ridiculous I realized, but it didn't stop my disappointment. Or maybe it was the thought that my friend Rangiku herself was in associations with Hisagi. For some reason I just couldn't see it.

After finishing lunch we soon went our separate ways. I returned to my small cozy room where I opened my diary to write about my day.

* * *

Dear Diary,

I was a little surprised to find out that Rangiku is or was in "relations" with Hisagi. That's the last combination I would ever think of coming into existence. Well maybe not that extreme but you know what I mean. Their personalities just seem so different. Hisagi is so cool and collected and Rangiku is, well she's cool too but…she's just different. How long ago was this relationship? Was it recent or was it far into the past? Most importantly, how could I have been friends with Matsumoto for such a long time (well, maybe not that long) and I never have any idea! She's told me about all types of guys she's been with but she's never once mentioned Hisagi. How strange.

* * *

So there ya go! I sincerely do apologize for not having this out sooner. I promise to have the other one out within at least two weeks!


	9. Page 9

**Author's Note**: I know it's been a long time since I've updated but please know that I haven't given up on this story! Enjoy :)

**Disclaimer:** Everything _Bleach_ belongs to Tite the original author.

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Have you ever wondered how they get the rice in rice balls to stick together? Because that's one of the many questions I always had as a kid, until I asked my mom. My mother taught me that it's easy to get the rice to stick together. All you needed was to just mold the warm rice together. For some reason I was surprised and a little disappointed that there wasn't some special sauce or magical ingredient. The rice didn't need any extra ingredients to stick together.

All day I had been thinking about meaningless things. For once during my time working in the eighth division, I had nothing of grave importance to do. So I decided to laze around for today. No practice with Ikkaku, no paperwork, just laying on the grass and looking up at the sky. Sitting outside never felt any better. A shinigami approached my laying form.

"Ms. Sato" She breathed. "Captain Shunsui, would like to see you in his office."

I turned towards her, lifting myself from my position in the grass.

His office?

My walk down to Shunsui's office seemed longer than usual. I spent my time contemplating on and worrying about what he could possibly need me for. I began to wring the sleeve of my hakama in order to calm myself down.

Why am I worrying so much? I finally asked myself while making my decent down the hallway.

I've done everything that I'm supposed to do. I think. I make sure the dining halls are left clean when lunch is over. I always deliver important papers to their intended destinations. And I get Captain Shunsui's daily bottle of sake, which is very difficult to do when Lieutenant Ise is watching me like a hawk. Everything's been perfect for the most part.

I did however accidently spill some juice on Captain Shunsui's ukulele thing a day or two ago. Then when he asked me what happened I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth. It was a low point for me. He probably knew I had done it all along, and was just being nice by pretending to believe. Now that he knows I've done it, he'll fire me for sure. Never again will work under the liege of Lieutenant Nanano -san. I moaned to myself.

By now I've reached Captain Shunsui's office. I knocked softly as I always do. Subsequently, I heard him sing in a jolly voice "come in" giving me permission to enter. Shunsui sat at his desk tinkering with an origami crane. He waved me to him. Once I moved nearer, he looked up at me. His eyes were searching my face, as if looking for something. I was unsure of what he was looking for though. I attempted to stand up higher than I normal, which didn't have much success at since I was only five foot four inches.

I focused my attention on the painting of the woman behind him. She lay across the floor with her kimono hanging off her shoulders. Despite the scandalous way she posed I did admire her hair. It was placed in a slightly messy bun and ornamented with an elaborate pin. I might have to try that some time…

"Ayame" I turned my eyes begrudgingly towards Captain Shunsui. His face soon returned to its more usual cheerful look. A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek. I couldn't take it any longer! My confession that I was trying to suppress began to bubble in my throat. It threatened to let itself out. After a few more moments of Captain Shunsui looking at me I burst.

"I'm very sorryIdidn'tmeantitI'msoclumsy!" My declaration of guilt came out all in a rush. He gave me a confused look, and then laughed, sitting back in his seat. After he collected himself he smiled at me. "Calm down Ayame."

"I just wanted to talk about a task I need you to do." A sigh of relief escaped my lips. The muscles in my body relaxed. "Oh so…y-you need me to deliver…?" I asked as this was my usually what Lieeutenant Ise makes me do. "Not quite" "it's actually a bit more important than that." He waited for me to nod before continuing. "There have been some minor problems in Soul Society lately…and they need to compose an investigation team." I nodded attentively.

Why give me all this information? Soul Society already has people to take care of these types of things. Besides, what can I do? I'm only a fourth seat. I thought perplexed. He rubbed his temple and yawned as if the events transpiring were giving him great stress.

"The investigation division is away and the division in charge of Seireitei's defense division was put in charge." "Since we're the closest division with available members, they've asked us to lend a high ranking shinigami to help aid." "I was going to send Nanao but she's busy and I don't really trust the third seat." I looked at him blankly. I still didn't see what this had to with me. "So I decided to volunteer you."

I was shocked. Me?

"B-But…what?" I replied dumbly.

He couldn't possibly want to pick me to do something important. I'll only mess it up.

He got up from his chair and walked around his desk to stand in front of me. I looked up at his tall overshadowing form.

"I-I couldn't sir," I declined humbly, clasping my hands together and looking at my tabi sandals.

"M-Maybe someone else…"

Captain Shunsui placed his hands on my shoulders and beamed down at me affectionately.

"Listen Ayame-chan, if I didn't think you could do it, than I would have picked someone else. You'll be fine."

I've noticed that I've come to view Captain Shunsui as almost a fatherly figure. A fatherly figure who occasionally flirts with me every so often, but a fatherly figure none the less. So when I looked up at his beaming face I felt somewhat more confident in myself. If Captain said I could do it then maybe I can.

The weight of my large knapsack weighed heavily on my back. I tried the best as I could to pack the bare essentials. Just my notebook, a pencil, some extra clothes, undies, and some cookies in case I get hungry.

The lotus flower insignia decorated the outside of buildings. So this must be the ninth division. I swallowed and attempted to repress that fluttery feeling rising in my stomach. I looked more closely at the letter Captain Shunsui gave me disclosing basic instructions. One of which that told me to meet Hisagi in the evening in his office.

How vague.

I was surprised that the Ninth division Captain's office looked so bare in comparison to Captain Shunsui's office. There were not many decorations at all. But then again I guess it doesn't matter how your office looks. As long as you get what you need to get done in there. I did like the tiny fountain next to the window. Its constant running stream of water produced an almost melodic sound that somewhat calmed down my upset stomach.

When I arrived at the ninth division's gates I was greeted by an enthusiastic ninth division member who led me to their main office. There he kindly took my bag and told me that Lieutenant Shuuhei would be with me shortly. So now I wait, awkwardly sitting in a chair, looking outside the window at the sky, as each antagonizing second passes by for Hisagi to come and see me in his office.

I was pleasantly surprised with myself. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. Especially after finding out the division I would be going to would be the same division Hisagi, of all people, would be the Lieutenant of. If I knew this little piece of information beforehand I would have probably never agreed to go, but I digress. Maybe I'm over Hisagi and I've finally come to my senses. Maybe I've finally realized this was simply a silly crush from my younger years.

An image of Hisagi looking at me the night he took me home flashed in my mind. I wave of terror washed over my body. I'd been trying to erase that embarrassing night from my mind. When we talked about feelings and then I left him at the gates of the eighth division. I wonder if remembers that night. I also wonder if he thinks I'm weird for running away. Then I felt stupid for thinking about Hisagi. He probably doesn't even think about me at all.

I felt like I've had this unbearable crush on Hisagi forever, yet I've never really got the chance to know him personally. He appears to be a really nice person, who is loyal to his friends, and has morals but how can I ever really know? Besides that night we've only talked a couple of times.

I remembered my Shinigami Academy days, when I was a little bit creepier than I am now. I was never the top in the class or even near the top but I did try my hardest. I had a select couple of friends. You know, the group of friends that you eat lunch with so you don't have to eat lunch by yourself. The friends that like to pick on you and make you carry their books, or leave you with their trash. Actually now that I think about it, they weren't the nicest of friends. They were actually very terrible friends, but I guess some friends are better than no friends. I think. But I didn't really care.

My group of friends usually sat not too far away from Hisagi's group of friends. Hisagi was in a level higher than me, so we didn't share any of the same classes. During was lunch was generally the only time I got to see him. Hisagi would sit in the middle of the group and humor stories from his friends. They would play around and tell jokes and study together. I just about envied how much fun they had. And instead of listening to the mundane stories about how 'so-so' was dating 'shmo-shmo' I'd peek around the corner at Hisagi.

I don't think he noticed but he did almost catch me looking at him once I think. But I could never be sure. I was small. I was quiet. And I was shy.

I was someone who could easily be unseen and forgotten.

I looked at the desk in the middle of the room; there was one of those artistic displays. Seven small metal balls were suspended in the air on strings. When you lift the first ball it will fall and hit the second ball and the force will transfer through all the balls until it reaches the last ball which will fly into the air before coming back down again and starting the whole process over. How I knew all this so well, don't ask. I started the endless puzzle taking simple delight in its scientific motion. What's the name of this again? I touched one of the balls and rolled it around my fingers.

"Excuse me."

I whipped my head around to see Hisagi standing behind me. He was accompanied by two other fellow shinigami who stopped their conversation to look at me as well. His well defined eyebrows scrunched up on his face as if he was trying to remember who I was. And I looked at him causing my stomach to violently shudder with anxiety.

One of the shinigami made a coughing sound that one usually does when in uncomfortable silences, which snapped me out of my trance. I placed his display back on his desk and bowed deeply, mainly with the aim of hiding the red color rising to my face.

"Y-Yes Ca- I mean Lieutenant Shuuhei."

I didn't hear him react so I forced my babbling self to continue.

"I-I'm here for a-aid from the ei-eigth division." I scarcely managed to utter.

I was too afraid to lift my head to see what his facial expression was like, so busied myself with inspecting his tabi sandals.

"Ah," I heard him say.

I lifted my head a little. He signaled for the shinigami accompanying him to leave. They sighed and left looking back at me with curiosity. I stared at them as they made their leave.

Once the door closed I turned back to Hisagi. He smiled faintly.

"Sorry, Ms. Sato, I'd forgotten that we were supposed to meet with each other today."

He remembered my last name?

"I actually wasn't expecting…" Me to be here? Neither was I. I understand.

He was probably expecting someone like Lieutenant Ise.

Hisagi seemed to pause and revise his sentence.

"…you to be here so early."

"Oh,"

We stood there unable to think of what to say next.

"I'm not really a fan of this office, so I'll take you to the meeting room so we can talk more privately."

He offered nodding his head toward the door. I followed him out the room, taking one more look at the office. He opened the door to reveal a sort of passage way which led to the outside. My stomach was doing flips and not just because I was walking next to Hisagi, but also because I was afraid of what he expected of me. I had to carry the weight of representing my division. That meant I couldn't make mistakes.

Hisagi seemed to be more at ease, he didn't seem at all moved by the fact that we had held conversations earlier before. Or at least his face didn't do anything to convey so. Not that I wanted him to act like he knew me. It was just kind of weird that he didn't mention anything about it. But then again he's probably just being professional. And here I am fussing over trivial things like relationships.

As we walked down the pathway I struggled to keep up with his pace. He must have noticed since he slowed down considerably.

"I imagine that you already know what's going on." He asked while looking slightly in my direction.

"Y-yes Lieutenant." I lied.

I actually had no idea what was going on. The letter given to me had revealed no further information regarding why a search was needed or what this particular "problem" actually was.

Lieutenant Shuuhei picked up on the wariness in my voice.

"Well, according to Captain Soi Fong, there have been recent attacks on the villages of Rukongai. There have also been abnormal traces of Soul energy which has led some of us to believe that there may be hollows or even intruders involved."

He whispered the last part more softly. We made a turn down the end of the walk way passing two other shinigami. One of them was a much larger man. I could have sworn he gave me a strange look before passing us. I waved it off as nothing of mere importance.

Before long we reached a building that seemed isolated from the rest of the other buildings. It was small, almost like house size. We stopped in front of it.

"Well, we're here." Hisagi said.

He held the door open for me. I thanked him quietly, a bit grateful for his small yet kind gesture and entered the dimly lit room. Inside there was long table with six chairs, three on each side. Beside the table there was not much the room contained except for a burnt out candle lying in the corner.

It appeared as if the room hadn't been in use for a while. A thick layer of dust lay across the wooden floor and the table top.

Once Hisagi closed the door he walked around to the other side of the table. I took this as a sign to sit across from him. On the table I noticed a white portfolio which contained a few papers inside. He handed them to me. I looked at him questioning if I should open it or not.

"This portfolio should have all the details. There's not a lot of information though."

"Oh. Thank you"

"Since I've been left in charge it's been kind of difficult to manage things all by myself. And with problems going on in the human world and this new problem…" Hisagi rubbed the back of his head, the thought of the extra work seeming to drain his energy.

"I just, really appreciate you coming to volunteer your time to help me." I blushed.

"I d-don't mind. Anything you n-need me to do, I'll d-do it." I said.

Hisagi face seemed to relax a little, almost as if he was relieved to hear me say I was happy to help. He smiled sincerely at me and held out his hand.

"Thanks Ms. Sato."

I put my hand in his and he shook mines firmly. After that he held on to my hand for a couple seconds longer than a usual handshake would require, but not too long that anyone would notice. He pulled away from me and got up from his chair.

His expression turned back to that of which it was before; seemingly stoic and calm.

"Well, I don't want to start any investigations or work right now. It's getting kind of late." I nodded. My mind felt fuzzy from the touch of his hand.

"I'll have one of shinigami take you to your room. Tomorrow morning I have some things that you could do in the office, and then we can start the investigation later." I nodded again.

"Yes, Lieutenant." I forced myself to say, to remain cordial.

We walked out of the building. As he was leaving I felt the need to say something.

"Bye"

I heard myself say without thinking about. Hisagi turned to me, slightly taken aback. I mentally smacked myself in the face. How unprofessional!

"Uh, bye," He said a bit awkwardly. Then he left.

My heart sunk just a bit, when he had to go. I wished that maybe we could have talked about that night before and I could be able to explain myself or something. Then I reminded myself that my heart shouldn't be sinking in the first place. I had a mission to do and I couldn't afford to let my stupid irrational feelings distract me. Besides, Hisagi probably wouldn't care anyways.

I exhaled noisily.

"Hello, Ms. Sato,"

A larger man, flash stepped in front of me. He seemed to be somewhere in his 30s or 40s. His black hair was fashioned in a top knot and a large mustache graced his bulky upper lip. His outfit had sleeves on his uniform. I thought this was kind of strange, since most members in the ninth division, like Hisagi, wore sleeveless shinigami attire.

"I will be your escort, Toshimori Umesada, 20th seat of the ninth division." He introduced himself. His smile was friendly and overly warm. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh,"

"You might remember me from earlier, I saw you passing by,"

I nodded.

He began to walk and I trailed after him. I was doing a lot of following today I noticed.

I speculated what type of work Hisagi will have me do, Paperwork? It be something I know I could be capable of.

Even though my eyes were looking at the path, I noticed that my escort, Toshimori, kept stealing glances at me, and he wasn't very discreet about it either. I pretended to not notice for the first four of five times but then I began to feel discomfort.

Was he checking me out? I shook the silly thought out of my head.

No way!

I slyly looked over to him.

But he keeps looking back at me.

"So, how's the eighth division?" He asked. We were walking side by side now, his arm almost touching mine. I stepped aside, almost out of habit.

"It's nice," I murmured. He moved a bit closer.

"I bet the men aren't like men in the ninth division, huh?" He said jokingly. I was unsure of what to say to his comment.

Was that supposed to be a joke?

"I g-guess…"

More silence.

"Are you staying at your place by yourself tonight?" He asked.

"I assume…"

"I bet you'd get lonely. Pretty girls shouldn't be left on their own."

What was this guy talking about!

He moved a tad closer to me this time, to which I instinctively moved farther away, almost walking off the path.

How long did it take to get to my room! I felt as if we'd been walking for hours.

He smiled down at me, giving me a wink. To which I looked back at him incredulously. Old men shouldn't be allowed to wink!

I was relieved to arrive at some barracks that I believed were to be my place of sleeping.

"Um, are w-we at my room yet?" I asked nervously. He led me up a series of stairs.

"This should be the place." He responded. We passed three doors before stopping at one. I forced a thin smile on my lips and mumbled a thank you. When I opened the door his thick hairy arm lurched at the doorknob where my hand was and closed it. My heart leaped at the sudden gesture.

"Don't be in such a rush Ms. Sato." He said in a deep tone.

He lowered his face down to mine. The large hairy mole and the white snot coming from his nose became more apparent. He breathed huskily in my face and the awful smell of spoiled fish and sake filled my nose and stung my eyes.

"How about I keep you warm tonight, sweetheart?" He whispered 'seductively'. I threw up in my mouth a little.

My face turned red, but not for the right reasons.

"I-I…"

I don't even know this man! What am I going to do…? What do I say in these types of situations? What would Matsumoto do?

He appeared to take my silence as encouragement to continue his advances. His head moved in closer as if to steal a kiss.

With a quick amount of force I pushed him backward with my free hand, probably a bit harder than necessary, and ran into my room locking it quickly. I heard a series of large crashes before a large rumble. I winced. He must have feel down the stairs. A few moments later I heard a loud cuss followed by a series of other profanities.

I stood against the door waiting patiently. My only concern was if he had left or not. After I was sure he had left stopped leaning against the door.

At that moment the only thing in the room that I cared about was the bed in the middle of the room. I pushed my bag aside and fell onto it blissfully. In return the soft sheets caressed my body and invited me to an instant slumber…

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Feel free to comment, or criticize, or even send a message! I've finished with all my AP exams so hopefully I'll have more time to write.


	10. Page 10

Author: Hey Guys! Sorry this took so long(as usual).

Disclaimer: blah blah blah Hail Tite Kubo blah blah blah I don't own Bleach blah blah blah...

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I paced the confines of my room. Despite being a bit exhausted from last night I found myself waking up early the next morning. It wasn't that I was an early bird, because by no means was I, but the anxiety building in my stomach just wouldn't let me sleep in. I wasn't quite sure what I was so anxious about. It probably had something to do with the idea of having to be in Hisagi's presence all day. That…and the strange feeling someone was stalking me outside my door. There was no question that last night I was caught in a rather difficult predicament, specifically involving unwanted advances from an older and not too attractive shinigami 'escort'. For this reason I've kept to staying in my room, silently hoping and pleading that he might get tired of me and go away. I lowered to the floor and peered between the small space under my door. Two large feet stood in front of it. He's still here I thought exhaustedly. I was unsure of why I was so disheartened by this, especially since I can sense his reitsu looming through the wood.

A sigh passed my lips. I'd tried everything to get him to leave; telling him I didn't need someone to take me to Hisagi's office and that I could find my own way. I even said 'please leave me alone', but no success. You'd think after getting pushed down the stairs a guy would get the point. Why can't I be meaner like Lieutenant Ise?

"Ms. Sato, whenever you are ready I can take you to Captain Shuuhei." He said playfully through the crack in the door.

"Uh, th-that won't be ne-necessary," I told him once again.

"Are you sure? Cus' I'm a really nice guy once you get to know me." He continued. I was quite sure that I didn't want to get to know him. No matter how many kittens he claims he owns.

I looked around the room frantically. There was a small window above my bed on the opposite wall. Walking over I tinkered with the lock keeping it shut.

"Ms. Sato?" He continued.

I pushed open the window and looked at the ground below. Bushes decorated the ground below, some of which that didn't appear to feel all too pleasant if one were to fall in it.

"Come on, I was just playing around yesterday, let's start over."His tone was a bit more pleading now.

This only encouraged me to leave more quickly. I swung my legs out the window and jumped to the floor below. Unfortunately my foot got stuck on the rail causing me to fall face first into the bushes. I barely had time to scream as I was surrounded by leaves and twigs.

Crawling out pathetically, I brushed myself off and tried to regain my poseur.

Well, at least I avoided that guy. I looked at the tall building a little ways off where Hisagi's office resided. Taking in a deep breath I made my way to the headquarters of the ninth division.

This division became incredibly busy in the morning time. More than half the people scuttling around I swore I hadn't seen yesterday afternoon. I felt almost out of place as I walked around aimlessly like a lost puppy.

Once I entered Hisagi's office I saw him standing in the middle of the room. I entered the Captain's office I was made to wait in just a day before. Nothing really had changed except for the intimidating stack of papers piled on his desk.

"Ms. Sato," He called. I straightened out my clothes almost unconsciously as he approached.

"I hope you slept okay, I wanted to make sure your room wasn't too far from the office." He said sincerely.

"I slept f-fine."

Not really.

He nodded satisfied with my answer.

"If you could, could you help me organize these papers and some others sitting on my desk by the date they arrived? It would be a big help." He asked.

I glanced back at the paper that had collected on his desk.

I nodded. "Yes sir,"

"Sorry," he apologized. "I'm sure when you came here you weren't planning on having to help me do my job, huh?" He said jokingly. A shy smile tugged at my lips.

"I really d-don't mind, I do it all the time." I tried to convince him. There was no reason for him to feel bad for making me work. That's what I came here to do. Hisagi's face of guilt didn't appear to lessen though. He made his way to the larger desk and I made my way to a smaller desk on the adjacent side of the room. It was littered with other papers some in folders and some just randomly scattered about.

I didn't mind doing the paperwork really. I saw this as more of a chance to observe Hisagi. Sadly, we didn't speak most of the time. Every so often Hisagi would look over his stack of paperwork and check up on me. A light fluttery feeling would rise in my stomach each time as his gaze lingered over in my area but I hastily berated myself for my child like behavior and forced my hands to work faster.

"Ayame," He began cautiously. His voice startled me cutting through the silent atmosphere. I quickly snapped out of my busywork.

He seemed to look at me inquisitively for a moment before continuing. "I do appreciate your help. To tell you the truth I was kind of relieved that I was working with someone I knew instead of Lieutenant Ise." He said my Lieutenant' name with a bit of hesitance, as if he was remembering some frightening time with her.

"Oh, thank you." I said unsure if this was a compliment or some thought he was rambling off the top of his head. He looked at me, possibly waiting for me to say something. I wanted to say something else. To fill the silence so things wouldn't be as tense.

"It p-probably g-gets lonely...I mean," I tried to remark offhandedly but quickly rephrased my question. "It doesn't s-seem like…you have much help, here." I said a bit awkwardly.

"Sometimes my assignments may pile up, but it's never too difficult." He replied lightheartedly while still maintaining his serious appearance.

I could tell this was just an understatement. Even though I wasn't the most knowledgeable when it came to matters in Soul Society I wasn't completely ignorant to the betrayal that happened not too recently. Captain Tousen among some others had left Soul Society in shambles and abandoned their former positions. I could only imagine the pressure of not only being in charge of your own squad, and the editorial duties of _Seireitei Communication_, but the recent investigations. Yet here I was stressing over delivering paper on a daily basis. My work load became dismal when compared to his. Despite all these responsibilities he seemed to remain all too positive. I have yet to see him even lash out at a shinigami or look stressed out. Almost as if he enjoyed his busy schedule even though a look of exhaustion usually graced his features.

Then I realized that he never seemed to have a negative disposition towards doing work. He was always the first to volunteer for Shinigami Academy missions, and was willing to help anyone out with an assignment.

But still, it really must get lonely.

"But so many people count on you…" I whispered.

"When you have many people depending on you, you'll naturally accept the work that comes along with it." He said wryly.

The ray of light coming from the window spilled over onto my paper. Before long I found myself gazing out of its glass. Flowers decorated it from outside followed by an expanse of land or a garden. It wasn't apparent to me that the Captain had had such a taste for flowers, especially since he was… blind and all. Or maybe Hisagi had them planted. But that was unlikely, seeing that Hisagi didn't seem like the type to waste his time gazing at flowers. I giggled at the silly thought.

"Captain used to like flowers." Hisagi commented when seeing my curious gaze.

"He liked their smell," He added. If Hisagi felt at all uncomfortable talking about his former captain he didn't show it. He remained composed as always.

"They're pretty," I said quietly.

"Yeah," He agreed looking out the window only momentarily.

"So, how do you like the Ninth Division so far?" His question was a casual one, but he seemed nervous to ask it.

"I-It's nice." I felt a bit more comfortable in the room now, as the invisible wall between us seemed to dissolve. Hisagi was being more talkative but I wasn't sure if it was out of courtesy or not. Oddly enough, I felt more at peace when sitting in the office alone with him. Many would say that his punk like appearance and intense eyes would be intimidating. I found it a lot more complicated to feel that way when his eyes showed honest kindness. His inquiry seemed sincere though so I continued our conversation.

"W-Well, I thi-think you're doing a good job. Everyone here re-respects you as a leader, I think." Immediately, I blushed at my own brainless comment but I forced myself to look up at the Lieutenant's face.

However, Hisagi didn't seem to laugh at my comment as I half expected him to. Actually, his scarred face gave a hint of the slightest tint of pink forming on his cheeks.

"Maybe" He said humbly, scratching the side of his temple and writing furiously on a sheet of paper. If I didn't know any better I would say that he had a pleased look on his face. But of course I knew better. Why would my silly comment make him blush?

"Sorry to interrupt you Lieutenant Shuuhei but do you happen to have the revised stories for _Seireitei Communication_."

Hisagi's expression seemed to take on a more serious expression. I sunk back into my chair attempting to blend in with the white plainness of the walls. Distracting anyone from official business would not be my intentions.

"Can't you handle it?" He asked.

The shinigami recoiled nervously at Hisagi's stare. "W-Well, no one's currently free at the moment. I don't think we'll have enough time…" He started to ramble uncertainly.

A small sigh escaped the Lieutenant's lips. "Can you wait a while? I'm almost finished."

The shinigami shifted a bit rubbing the back of his head timidly.

"But the person in charge of collecting the paper will be here soon…"

I looked back and forth at their faces.

"I-I," I piped up. The shinigami standing in the room looked at me with an astonished expression on his face, as if he had only recently noticed me sitting there, which he most likely was since I have a thing for being unnoticeable.

Even with the sudden amount of attention paid towards me I forced myself to continue.

"I c-could possibly…do it for you." It wasn't that I was an amazing writer or anything, but I do write quite often. I also know a thing or two about grammar.

"Really? You wouldn't mind would you?" Hisagi seemed a bit guilty to ask for more work from me.

I nodded. "No sir,"

My heart dropped a little. I kind of liked sitting in this office room. That way I could silently watch as his face hardened in thought and his dark eyes scanned the documents on his desk. I also enjoyed hearing him speaking with me, as silly as that sounded.

The shinigami looked over back towards his leader as if doubting my ability to handle the paper.

"Good." Hisagi decided. "Take her to drafting room." He addressed the shinigami who was standing by idly.

"Yes sir," He bowed. I got up from my seat and followed him out the door. Before leaving the office I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Upon turning around the raven haired man was standing in front of me. My heart traveled to my throat for some reason as I looked into his grey sharp eyes, then finding myself looking at his 69 tattoo.

"I'll come by after I'm done and we can head out to Rukongai. Is that okay?" His voice was businesslike and acted as a cold reminder to the real job I had waiting for me.

"Oh, of course." Disappointment seeped into my reply. Hisagi nodded at me and smiled a bit as I went to follow behind the shinigami.

_Why were you so disappointed? Were you expecting him to promise you to lunch afterwards or something?_

The mocking tone of my zanpakuto, Tsuki, resonated within my head. It didn't help that I was foolishly thinking something along those lines either. I threw a glare toward the weapon at my side. Curse you for being so intuitive.

_Pathetic._

She said simply before retreating back to her slumbering state, obviously not at all intimidated by my looks.

My hands were numb by the time I got done revising papers. The chaos and confusion that followed operating a newspaper place had finally dawned on me. It seemed as if when I was done doing one task someone came to make me do another. Hopefully, the help I gave on formatting articles and revising papers helped. All that would be done now is to take it to Lieutenant Hisagi to see-

"Ayame!"

Who could possibly be calling my name? I turned in the direction of the shrill voice, only to be overwhelmed by a sea of orangey blonde hair, French perfume, and Number two Glossy pink lipstick. I was familiar with all these brands simply because I forced to go shopping with the person who buys them all the time, Matsumoto Rangiku.

She nuzzled me into her bosom tightly to the point where I was unable to breathe.

"Oh, Ayame!" She gushed. "I feel like it's been forever."

Really it's only been a couple of days. We went out to her favorite pub only a week ago where I had to drag her intoxicated body home. But I didn't bring this up, not that I could. She was smothering me with her chest.

"How have you been, and what are you doing in the ninth division, and did you try that shampoo I lent you because you're hair is looking a bit dull…" She rambled on. Using all my force within my body I attempted to wedge myself away from her while mumbling an 'I can't breathe'. Matsumoto finally let me free from her death grip where I gasped for air never so thankful for its existence.

"So as I said before, what are you doing here Ayame? Seeing a secret lover hmmm?" She asked winking her light blue eye seductively.

"Of c-course not!" I said a bit too defensively.

She laughed at my flustered reaction but waved it off all in good sport.

"I'm just playing."

It struck me as peculiar that Matsumoto was in the Ninth Division. Even though she does wander Soul Society quite often it'd make me wonder who she came here to see.

Or was she visiting him? The thought left my mind as soon as it was conjured.

"I have to help Lieutenant Hisagi with some…investigations." I said not entirely sure if I was allowed to disclose information to other people.

"Investigations with Hisagi?" She repeated. There was a way in which she arched her eyebrows and looked at me that caused my stomach to become restless. It wasn't a glare, nor was it her signature mischievous look but a look that gave off something that resembled contemplation. What she was thinking about that involved me? I wasn't too sure and that made me the most edgy.

"Wh-why are you here, Rangiku?" I asked innocently, anything to lift the unknown tension.

"Oh right!" She said remembering. She placed a perfectly manicured finger to her full lips like a child recalling an answer to a question.

"I'm here for the edition of the paper."

The paper? Was Rangiku that enthusiastic about the trivial news of Soul Society and the random musings of our Captains that she'd come all the way here just to pick up a copy? She doesn't really seem like the type of person to sit on a couch by the fire and read a newspaper, or read anything for that matter. Not that I could really say anything either. My free edition that I was given each month usually ended up in a nearby trash. Only after reading Hisagi's column, and Captain Ukitake's one on plants though.

"You like to read the newspaper?" I asked.

"Of course. I am a part of the committee." She said as if I was crazy for asking. "I only read the gossip column though and the one that gives updates on relationships." She said proudly.

Why am I not surprised?

"Enough joking though, Ichinose sends me to pick up the final draft from Hisagi every month." She said offhandedly.

Hisagi is in charge of editorial duties. So that would explain why she's here. She looked into my arms and saw _Seireitei Communications_ printed across the front.

"Oh, looks like he's already finished." Rangiku swiped the paper from my hands in a fluid motion.

She gave it a once over flipping through the pages and looking in it for a couple of seconds. Finally she closed it and tucked it neatly under her arm.

"Good enough." She stated blatantly as if grading the quality of some fish.

Matsumoto began walking down the hallway towards the exit. I scurried after her trying to catch up.

"It must take a lot work editing the paper." I said stating the obvious. I still wanted to talk to Rangiku. In truth I kind of missed having a female companion to talk to, even if she was incredibly loud and boisterous. Also I wanted to get a little bit more information. The conversation held with Ikkaku and Ayasegawa hadn't quite left my mind. While I didn't really think about it, it nagged me in the back of my head while I dreamt.

She looked down at me and smiled. "I'm sure it does but Hisagi can handle it. I can count on him to do anything for me." She said cheerfully.

"So that must mean you guys are really close?" I said a bit cautiously but I tried to play it off as casual and harmless as I could. She seemed to take it as a casual question too, laughing at nothing in particular.

"We've known each other for a while, had a few drinks here and there. He's great when it comes to holding his liquor by the way."

"Oh,"

I found myself falling behind her speed and I quickly increased my pace again.

"So you hang out with him often?" I asked. The question that I really wanted to ask was if the rumors about her and Hisagi were true but something in my head stopped the words from reaching past my throat. I had to use subtler ways.

Rangiku glanced at me causing me to take interest in the cloud shaped like a piggy in the distance.

"Hisagi's a really nice guy but he's always working. So he doesn't usually come to our parties that much." She whined.

"Why do you ask?" Her question seemed to strike me as peculiar. Why did I ask? It shouldn't be any of my business whether Rangiku hangs out with Hisagi or not. Even if she didn't, it's not like there'd be any hope that he'd have any interest in me. Why won't this false sense of hope, the fluttering in my stomach, and the sudden feeling of insecurity I feel when her and his name is spoken in one sentence just go away!

"N-no reason…" I managed to say.

She looked at me, almost a bit suspiciously as if not believing my weak answer. Her expression soon changed back to her cheerful and playful demeanor.

"As much as I'd like to hang out more I've got to leave." She said pretending to sulk.

"Oh," I said a tad sadly but also a bit relieved. Rangiku may not seem like it but she's really perceptive. My constant string of lies would be intercepted sooner or later.

"Tell Hisagi thanks again for the paper this month." She said winking her long eyelash at me.

"Sure," I responded giggling a bit at her teasing.

"Is the wink necessary too?" My question was an attempt to be jokey despite the sudden hard feeling in my throat. Yet it only came out as throaty whisper.

She laughed at me again the sound of her voice ringing through my ears like bells.

"The wink is definitely necessary." She said in a mock sexy voice.

She passed through the gates leading outside. I began walking back to the main buildings but was stopped by the sound of Rangiku's voice once again.

"Oh, I forgot." She turned back around.

"Hm?" I turned back towards her.

"Could you also tell him thanks for last night?" She said softly. A smile graced her pink lips as she said so. The words came out as if she were remembering some dream of sorts. While the sentence held Matsumoto's usual aura of seductiveness I was unable to tell if it was playful or not. And that scared me a little.

Even if I had wanted to ask her what that meant I wouldn't have been able to, because she soon disappeared from my line of sight.

"Oh, of course." I said just barely getting the words out after she left, but as usual they landed on deaf ears.

* * *

OOOOOOOooooOOOO! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm writning the next one as we speak so hopefully that will be out soon too.


	11. Page 11

**Author's Note: **Sorry for taking so long. I would have had this out weeks earlier if I wasn't deprived of internet for four weeks.

* * *

I followed behind Hisagi as we walked the long the long pathway. We hadn't talked much since leaving just the occasional pathetic attempts at small talk with something along the lines of: 'Oh that plant looks nice' or 'Isn't this pretty'.

Hisagi would respond as best as he could to my responses but I could tell his mind was occupied with something else. I started to notice that whenever he had a job to do he would always get in the zone. His eyes did not once leave the map as he searched for our destination.

I sighed softly, not wishing to show my unrest and watched the sky above. The fluffy white clouds floated by in a serene manner. It made me think about yesterday when Matsumoto had came by.

She told me to thank Hisagi about 'last night'.

Now I may just be a really paranoid person or there could be some secret double meaning behind her words. If she was telling him thanks for 'last night' that would have to mean Hisagi had done something for her. What that could entail though… I shook my head.

Don't think about such things, I yelled in at myself. It's not like they were engaging in scandalous activities, I think. I couldn't imagine Hisagi doing something like that but I could definitely see Matsumoto doing it.

I didn't tell Hisagi what Masumoto had said exactly of course. I wasn't as flirty as her so it would only come out bizarre and awkward if I were to try and say the same thing to him. I did tell him that she had came by and picked up the newspaper article though. He seemed satisfied with this and thanked me for my hard work.

I watched the back of the Lieutenant's head. He would never do something like that, I told myself. It just wouldn't fit with his morals.

_You're so naïve. I bet you think he's a virgin too._

My zanpakuto commented snidely. I blushed.

"Hush!" I said a little too loudly.

Hisagi turned to look back at me.

"Did you say something?" He asked.

I blushed even further. What was I supposed to tell him, I thought embarrassedly, that I talk to air?

"Uh, N-nothing." I waved my hands frantically and laughed nervously.

He nodded and turned his attention back to his map once content with the fact that I was okay.

"A village should be around this area. It's also around where the last attack was sighted. Hopefully we can get some more information about these assaults from the townspeople." He stated.

"Right," I agreed.

Business as usual.

He rolled up the map and put it in his pocket then he started to quickly make his way over to some buildings in the distance. I trailed behind him.

The village didn't seem to be as crowded as I expected it to be. Few people here and there made their way up and down the road, probably off to work. Crudely made shacks and display tables were set up along the walls of buildings. Some were vendors who sold random items like foods, linens, and even charms. The scent of Udon noodles filled the air as an older man stirred vegetables in a pot and yelled out prices.

The atmosphere almost reminded me of my own home and the village I lived next to.

Hisagi didn't seem at all interested in the hustle and bustle of the town life. I felt him lightly place his hand on the small of my back for a moment as he guided me toward the side of the road.

"It might be better if we split up and get information. Then we can meet up later, if that's okay with you."

I nodded. Hisagi smiled and slipped into the throng of people. A pang of fear shot through my chest but I quickly repressed it. I'm a woman for goodness sake; I should be able to walk around a city without anyone holding my hand.

I was nearly knocked over by someone carrying a basket of vegetables.

"Hey," I heard myself say.

The man who was a lot larger than I had imagined turned towards me and gave a menacing glare. I paled as if I couldn't get any paler and shrunk next to a nearby apple stand. I muttered an apology. Satisfied he continued down the road and into the crowd out of my line of sight. I sighed.

_Real women don't hind behind apple stands._

My zanpakuto snickered. I looked at the ground ashamed. She was right, real women don't hide behind apple stands. I need to get myself together.

I puffed out my chest and held my head high in a way that Rangiku does. I remembered her saying something along the lines of:

"If you look confident, you'll BE confident."

I didn't quite get it but I had no reason to doubt Matsumoto's words of wisdom. She was the ideal confident woman so she had to know what she was talking about. I may not have her dashing good looks, full figure and great sense of humor, that helped with her boosted confidence but I did have kindness, so at least I could try.

I left my position from the apple stand and entered into the road. Surveying the area I looked for potential interviewees. They all looked so busy. There were a lot of people but for some reason a sense of fear struck me.

What if the people don't want to talk to me because I'm a shinigami? What if they're anti shingami and they want to attack me? Or what if they're just mean people? What if I mess up and say something dumb?

I mentally slapped myself out of it. It was decided; I would ask the first person I saw.

I looked to my right where a bunch of men stood huddled around some dice and rocks. They seemed to be playing a game of some sort. One of them made eye contact with me.

He had a smug toothless grin plastered on his face. I'd never thought a guy with one eye could be so intimidating. We stared at each other for a minute before he whipped out his pocket knife and turned it in his hand malevolently. My eyes widened.

Well, he looks kind of busy, I told myself in a hysterical manner, I'll just ask someone else.

Farther down the road an older woman sat in a rocking chair on the front porch of a building. I walked up to her, albeit cautiously. I wanted to be certain that she didn't have any pocket knives.

She was feeble looking and very wrinkled. So much so that her whole face seemed to droop that I couldn't tell if she sleeping or even breathing. I didn't know what compelled me to ask her of all people. Maybe it was the fact that I trusted elders more than others. I just naturally felt more at ease with them.

"I-I'm sorry to bother you." I said softly. I bowed to her.

She didn't seem to move. Then she slowly lifted her head and looked me over.

"What?" She squawked.

"I said I'm s-sorry to bother you." I said a bit louder.

"Sorry Deary my ears aren't like how they used to be." She told me holding a hand to one of her ears.

"I said I'm sorry to bother you." I yelled, surprised at the volume of my own voice.

"Oh," She whispered simply.

She gazed at me once more, paying special attention to my shinigami uniform.

"A shinigami." She stated blatantly.

"Oh, yes." I stood there awkwardly watching the slow motion of her breathing. Then I inhaled before speaking again.

"I w-was wondering if you knew about the attacks here recently." I said, conscious of the volume of my voice.

She looked at the floor as if trying to recall something.

I felt obliged to relay more information in hope that it may help jog her memory.

"I think a man went missing…"

"Oh right!" She said remembering her train of thought.

"Katsura…not a very pleasant man…" She reminisced.

"Um, do you maybe know what could have happened?"

She looked at me thoughtfully then back at the floor. For a long time she did not speak and I thought that she had fallen asleep on me. Still, I waited patiently and she soon started to verbalize again.

"That same night there was a boy. He said he'd seen it. He came running, yelling he saw a monster, I believe…"

"He was quite loud," She included with contempt.

"A monster?" I leaned in more closely because her voice was starting to waver.

"Yes, a monster…and then he said he saw…" She started to yawn and shift in her seat.

"…He said…" She tried to say another time but the battle with sleep took over and almost immediately she fell into a deep sleep.

"Oh well," I said to myself. Hisagi appeared before me.

"Did you find anything?"

"Oh," I said looking at the older lady.

"Um, I h-heard someone d-describe it as a monster…"

He looked surprised which made me want to change my response.

"I-I mean, I'm not su-sure." I stammered.

Shuuhei held his hand to his chin in a contemplative manner.

"Could it be possible that it was a…" His voice trailed off as he spoke to himself.

"I think I have a good idea of where the one of the attacks happened. We should probably head over there." He decided.

I nodded and followed his lead. I was getting pretty tired of all this running and walking but I didn't want to let him notice.

The trees were a lot taller than I was used to seeing. They towered over us like mountains and even though the forest wasn't thick, little light could shine through the thick overhead of the tree tops. The light that did shine through painted the moss covered floor in white splotches. The forest was oddly quiet and had an eerie feel like someone was watching you.

Every so often I would look up at the trees, half expecting something to jump out at me. Usually I liked silent places but this silence was a different type of silence, one that made me uncomfortable, and a little on edge.

"It's too quiet." I commented, then blushed afterwards. It felt unnatural the way my voice cut through the stillness.

Hisagi glanced back at me and gave an understanding look. I didn't feel as embarrassed for speaking now.

"Yeah, the silence is kind of unsettling." He agreed. We looked at each other trading off smiles. I tugged unconsciously on the hem of my sleeve.

We were walking now. Hisagi slowed his pace to walk beside me. I wasn't sure if he did this because he wanted to make me feel more comfortable but it was a reassuring gesture nonetheless. My cheeks smoldered at the nearness of his body.

He was really close to me and his shoulder would brush up against mine every so often. I wasn't sure if he had noticed though. Whenever I would steal a glance at him he would be looking in the other direction, probably searching for clues, which was also something that I should be doing.

My mind raced back to that moment when he had held my hand in a hand shake on my first day working with him. I saw something in his eyes that day. The best word to describe it would be recognition.

"How have you and the guys been?" He asked. It was meant to be a casual question but it came out a bit nervous, like he didn't know how to phrase it.

It was the first instance he's directly referred to anything not work related. I was uncertain of how to answer. Would this question call for a professionally short answer or did he want a friendly response? Were we even on that level of friendship for me to give a friendly response?

"Um, okay…I think." I looked back at him to see his expression and carried on.

"A-Ayasegawa and I-Ikkaku are their usual selves." I half joked. His shoulders moved in a way that looked like he was laughing.

"Really?" He smiled, a bit amused but still surveying the area.

"How are Renji, and Izuru?" He asked hesitantly.

"Uh, they're okay too. But sometimes they don't like to hang out with us because Rangiku always picks on them." I smiled to myself.

An emotion flashed across his face when I uttered her name but it was too quick for me to identify what emotion it was.

"You should come by." I offered watching the leaves fall from the trees. If I were to tug on my sleeve any harder I would tear it clean off.

"There's g-going to be f-festival coming up, I think and um, I'll be going and, uh, so will everyone else…"

I couldn't stop myself from rambling. Hisagi looked at me but he didn't seem annoyed like I was expecting him to be, he seemed…interested.

"The Hanabi festival." He stated surveying the plants in front of him. I nodded, glad with the fact that he didn't think I was completely crazy.

"I heard they have pretty fireworks and fun games and stuff," The childish words spilled from my mouth as I wrung my hands together.

Fun games and pretty fireworks.

Why would an adult male ever care about those things?

"It's been a while since I've attended one of those." He stated. My heart dropped. Of course he hasn't gone for a reason.

"But maybe," He added. He smiled at me and I returned it shyly. Then I allowed a small ping of hope to tickle my heart, but it was short lived.

I felt the floor under me give way. I screamed at the sudden loss of balance. Due to Hisagi's quick reflexes he was able to reach out for my flailing arms only to be pulled along with me. A quick breath of surprise escaped his lips. We tumbled through branches and leaves down a hill.

Because of my clumsiness we had both landed on each other in a very compromising position. While sitting up I noticed that I was sitting on his pelvis. He coughed awkwardly, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. I quickly pushed myself off of him falling backwards as I did so.

How embarrassing, I cried mentally.

We didn't look at each other for some time. I couldn't bare to. I was too mortified. Who wouldn't be after falling down a hill and landing on their superior?

Our walk after that was a bit more quiet and filled with a lot less conversation.

For a while we kept walking until Hisagi stopped.

"Do you feel that?" He said suddenly.

"Hm?"

There was a certain tingly feeling in my chest. The same feeling I felt whenever there was a large reiatsu level nearby.

I nodded. He picked up his pace and ran over to a hill a far ways off. Once we got closer I noticed the broken branches, and an empty cart full of logs. The cart was left and toppled over with its contents spilled out as if someone had dropped it in a hurry. The broken branches and unturned soil on the ground led me to believe that there had been a struggle. Hisagi walked closer to the scene kneeling down and inspecting the dirt below.

"There's blood here." He stated solemnly.

I remembered the elder woman's words from earlier.

"Do you think it was a hollow?" I asked.

"There's a possibility." He murmured.

Suddenly that tingly feeling in my body turned into a spiking pain. The large amount of reiatsu heightened.

Hisagi instantly went to chase after the moving energy level. I quickly followed after. Hisagi was much faster than I and I soon lost him amongst the trees. The reiatsu level seemed drop from being a high power level to a low one. It was so erratic I was unable to gauge where it was coming from. I stopped on a nearby branch to try to collect myself.

Then I pulled out my zanpakuto and held it out in front of me shakily I didn't know where the reiatsu was coming from but I still had to be prepared. My breath quickened to a high pace. I wasn't able to sense Hisagi's reiatsu anymore and that made me nervous. I wasn't too confident in my ability to fend off a possible hollow on my own.

My mind focused on one reiatsu level in particular among the mass of energies and for once I let my senses guide me.

I jumped up into the trees and ran as fast as my short legs would carry me. An aerial position was always the best and safest place to be during battle. I spotted Hisagi standing on the floor stationed against a tree trunk.

For some reason he didn't appear to notice me. The reiatsu levels became muddled again before becoming even more intense than they were before.

Suddenly, a large ominous figure appeared on the tree hovering above Hisagi's unaware body. It was a large dark creature five times as big as me. Unfortunately it looked like just a mass of black because no other features could be distinguished. Not even that of a hollow mask.

I looked down at Hisagi who still remained where he was standing totally oblivious to the creature looming above him.

How could he not see it? Why won't he move!

It raised its large claw like arm, preparing to slash the Lieutenant. My breath caught in my throat.

This wasn't the time to hesitate, I yelled mentally. I needed to do something and quickly. Fear overtook my body but just enough adrenaline had entered my veins to move me into action. Without thinking my legs moved on their own.

Before I knew it, I had flash stepped between Hisagi and the incoming arm of the creature.

"Hatsu! Reflect!" I shrieked, holding up my sword protectively above my head. In a flash my weapon transformed. A silver light materialized around me blocking the impact of monster's blow. My arms resisted to the amount of force but I kept them locked as best as I could. Hisagi turned around with a look of shock.

I turned around to face him.

"Hisagi watch-"

I couldn't finish my sentence because the monster counter attacked and sent me flying with the force of its other arm. I flew through the air, unable to control the twisting and turning of my body. Trees and shrubbery flashed before my eyes.

Then I slammed into the trunk of a tree that knocked the wind out of my ribcage.

I lay on the ground for what seemed like a couple of minutes but in reality were only a few seconds. My mind urged me to stand up but my body wouldn't listen.

All I could hear was the voice of Hisagi yelling my name. It was almost like an out of body experience. I waited a few excruciating moments for the air to come back into my body.

My back was throbbing and so was my head. As soon as the air filled my lungs I struggled to stand up again using the tree as support.

Then I felt someone's strong arms grabbing my own. I looked up to see Hisagi's worried face looking at my own. There was a sense of urgency in those dark orbs. He looked a bit disheveled which was a change from his usual calm demeanor.

"Ayame." He called again a bit more sensitively. He forced me to lie back on the ground and knelt beside me. He still held my arms firmly.

"It's getting away." I said with urgency. My mind was clear and my body felt fine now.

What was he still doing here? I really wasn't that hurt. I actually felt okay besides the throbbing in my back but other than that I was suffering from shock more than anything else.

"Are you all right?" He asked urgently.

"I'm fine." I tried to tell him again.

That thing is getting away! He'll miss his chance.

"But if you don't leave-"

"That doesn't matter right now." He said sharply, his voice taking a more definitive tone.

"You're injured." He added.

He reached his hand up to brush my bangs out of my face. It was a soft motion that made my heart dance temporarily relieving me of the throbbing pain in my back.

Even in the middle of an event I found myself blushing at the trivialness of his fingers on my forehead.

"And you're bleeding." He said with disdain.

I reached up to touch my forehead also. There was something warm and wet which I had somehow mistaken as sweat dripping down the side of my head. When inspecting my fingers I saw a red substance covering them. Then my attention turned to the throbbing near my ankle.

"I guess I am." I said.

It wasn't till I noticed it that it started to hurt.

He reached for something in his pocket and pulled out a small bag. He then opened it up and carefully put some of its gooey contents on my forehead.

"That should help stop the bleeding." He looked at my injuries inquisitively.

"Are you well enough to move?" He asked.

I nodded. I tried getting up myself but Hisagi ended up aiding me anyways.

"Y-you d-don't have to." I stammered, unable to speak straight with his arm wrapped around my lower body and holding me up against his chest.

I could feel the heat radiating from his body.

"It's my fault you got hurt. I need to make sure you're okay." He said desolately.

"L-Lieutenant," was all I could say.

My feet left the ground as he lifted my body into his arms effortlessly.

And that's when I fainted.


	12. Page 12

**Author's Note: So I know it has been like twenty millions years since I've last updated. (You guys deserve better.) I'm really really really really sorry. Hopefully this chapter will make it up to you guys a little bit. It was really fun to write actually. This might even be my favorite chapter so far. Anyways, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. 'Nuff said.**

* * *

**Hisagi's POV**

She was still, just a pale face that lay against the linens of the cot. Her body was complacent. The only sign of life was shown by the slight movement of her chest.

Up.

Down.

Every breath was so deliberate, as if she believed each one counted.

Her breathing rattled her frail body. Yet, she was fine aside from the few minor cuts. Her forehead had been bandaged. And the blood that had been seeping down her face had been cleaned.

The way the deep red liquid stood out so vividly amongst her light lavender hair and gossamer skin had made me jerk uncomfortably. It seemed so unnatural then, to actually see her bleed. This sight of a bleeding comrade alarmed me more than it usually should.

I watched on with restrained awareness.

I should be leaving soon, I thought. There were still many things left to do.

The room in which we were in was small. It was a run-of-the-mill nursing room for immediate and minor injuries within our division. The medical assistant had said she was in good health. All she would need were a few mineral supplements and rest. It was probably the shock that had affected her he most.

Still, the feeling of guilt plagued my mind. She had gone up and above her call of duty during her short time here. Then she risked her own safety because of my lack of attentiveness. My responsibility was to make sure that my squad members were safe. I had failed. And I felt fully responsible for her injuries.

An exasperated sigh left my body and I rubbed my aching forehead. My captain would not have let something like this happen.

My eyes traveled to her face. She was like a small meek animal. So demure. The way her soft brown eyes would dart away when they met mine. Then she would retreat into the safety of her sleeve. Or how her voice would flutter and dance with modest elation or compassionate alarm.

I was reminded of that walk home after the bar. At that time I had not been familiar with Ayame. Our first interaction had been swept from my mind and was a faint memory. But the image of her face was embedded in my brain like an awful hangover. We had talked, or at least, I had talked some. Our conversation had been interesting. Two acquaintances speaking of such abstract subjects like grief, and isolation had been strange. However it was oddly easier to do it with someone I had not known as well. The sentiment of judgment did not loom over my head. Her eyes only disclosed the look of complete interest in my ideals and in what I had to say.

I felt comfortable chatting that night. A little too comfortable for what was appropriate but I blamed that on the liquor.

Weeks afterward I was shocked to know that she, of all the people, would be assisting me with this mission. I tried my best to act normal and that we were just two people working together. I also tried to forget about that conversation under the moonlight. Nevertheless, every time I saw her face that was the only thing I could think about.

She was jut so…different.

Why was she like that?

Even now she seemed to disappear within the folds of the blanket. A tingling sensation developed in my hand. I wanted to touch her face. Just a small quick touch. As if touching her would confirm that she was real and that all her uniqueness would be explained and understood. My cheeks reddened.

Why am I thinking this way? She's my assistant.

I clenched my hand by my side quickly discarding the split impractical thought that had passed my mind.

If anything, I felt the urge to at least tell her how I was grateful for her help.

"Lieutenant?" The nurse opened the door and another shinigami entered.

I got up from my seat.

"Yes?"

"Your documents for Soi Fon are ready."

"Ah, thank you,"

I glanced back at Ayame out of the corner of my eye before leaving the room brusquely.

Maybe I'll come back here later.

**Ayame's POV**

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The gash in my forehead had been gauzed and wrapped. I sighed.

Look on the bright side! At least I'll have a cool battle scar to show the guys.

The thought intended to cheer me up failed to do so.

I hadn't seen Hisagi at all seen I last entered the medical room. My disappointment was difficult to hide. Then again, this was also something to be joyous about. At least he wouldn't have to see me bandaged up.

The pain on my forehead had lessened to a dull throbbing. My body was a little sore and I felt a bit light headed. I wondered what Hisagi was doing at this moment and what he thought of me. I had fallen behind and gotten myself injured.

If I had tried harder, I would have been fast enough to dodge that incoming hit. But I hadn't been. And because of me the Lieutenant missed out on chasing after that monster. Hisagi did not need someone who was going to get hurt every five seconds.

Maybe I'm slowing him down.

I fingered at the bandage wrapped near my ankle.

Sitting helplessly in the medical ward made me feel useless.

My mind reminisced over the event right before I fainted in his arms. What an embarrassing moment had that been.

I would have never imagined being so close to Shuuhei. The way he held me tightly in his arms curled up against his warm broad chest. The faint sound of his heartbeat pumped like a ghost in my ears. I blushed. I should not be thinking that way. Even though I tell myself to stop daydreaming about him I cannot help myself.

Why did I have to faint?

I took my pillow and hit my head against it realizing that a chance of a lifetime had passed me by because of my unbridling nerves. After a few pathetic whimpers I placed the pillow back on the cot.

I got up from the bedding and put on my shinigami uniform. After getting dressed, I walked outside.

What if Hisagi is mad at me? That could be the reason why he has not seen me yet. Then I shook my head. That cannot be the reason could it. I had tried my best didn't I?

But was my best enough?

I saw a single shinigami walking past.

"Um, e-excuse me."

He stopped his stride and turned to face me.

"Yes, Ms. Sato."

Ms. Sato?

"Uh, do you know where Lieutenant Hisagi is?"

"He's currently off the premises."

"Oh,"

I felt the shinigami's eyes travel to my forehead bandage. It made me feel conscious.

"Is there anything else that you need Ms. Sato?"

This level of respect felt unfamiliar to me.

"Oh, uh, nothing. I'm okay. Thank you."

He left hesitantly, probably feeling uncomfortable to leave me own my own looking unguided.

I contemplated on where Hisagi could have gone but could not find a plausible answer. I had overheard that if he was not out at the bars by himself he would slip away to a cliff among the woods. These escapades were less frequent now that he was so busy but they still happened every so often, as his subordinates had said.

The sun hovered directly overhead. I loosened my uniform to air out my body.

"Ayame" The sultrily playful voice called.

Was I hearing things? I asked myself.

I turned around, only to be smothered by two large mounds of bouncing flesh.

"Mmmfgjfg" My muffled voice muttered as I tried to wedge myself away from the woman's boobs.

"I was passing by and I had to come by and see-wait, what happened to your face?"

I looked up at Matsumoto, who stood with one hand placed casually on her hip.

"It's just…an injury is all." I waved off casually. Explaining the situation was not something I wanted to do at the moment.

She crossed her arms and eyed me in mock suspicion.

"Shuuhei better not be working you too hard, because if he is I can always punish him for you." She winked.

"N-No! That won't be necessary." I laughed nervously.

"All right,"

"Uh Matsumoto, sorry for asking but why are you here?"

"Call me Rangiku, and I was just here to check up on someone. But the real question is why haven't I heard from you? "

"W-well, I've just been busy is all with training and stuff…"

"You're starting to become like everyone else. Soon I won't see for another ten years."

"But it's only been a couple of-"

"You can make it up to me by taking me out to lunch."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to the Ninth Division's cafeteria.

When we got there we got our food and took a seat farther out on a bench outside.

"I heard about your training with Yumichika and Ikkaku."

"Yeah,"

I blushed.

She smiled and placed a sushi roll covered in horseradish sauce into her mouth. I resisted the urge to puke at her strange taste in food.

"So how's the Ninth Division? I heard they had some pretty cute guys."

I blushed once more and dropped my chopsticks into my bento box.

She raised her eyebrow inquisitively.

"Has anyone caught your eye?"

"Y-yes. I mean, n-no! I'm supposed to be here for important matters not b-boys…"

Matsumoto huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Ayame. There has to be some guy who you've met who was your type. I know your shy and all but every girl has a crush."

She casually rolled her noodles in between her chopsticks and placed them in her mouth. Even while she was eating saucy messy food she was elegant and clean. Me however, ended up using both hands in an attempt to guide the disorganized floppy noodles to my mouth. I failed horribly, having the noodles spill out my mouth and fall into my lap.

Curses.

"Well," I began but stopped.

I couldn't tell her.

"Yes?" She leaned in attentively.

"Never mind, I-I-I-It's dumb." I turned my head away from her big baby blue eyes.

"So you do have a crush on someone, right?"

Curses!

"Erm, maybe," I sighed slightly defeated. Hopefully she would be satisfied.

"Just tell me." She urged.

"I-I don't know…"

"Come on Ayame I won't make fun of you."

"But,"

"We're friends,"

I couldn't tell her that I liked Hisagi. That would be too embarrassing. And I wouldn't know how she felt about him. I was still unaware if there was something going on between them.

I felt anxious and looked for a way to derail the conversation.

"Is it a guy?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just asking. You never know,"

Matsumoto was getting a lot more aggressive in her questioning. She should have taken a job as a psychological torturer or a detective.

"This is so exciting! Is he cute?"

"…Yes,"

"Is he someone I know?"

"…Maybe,"

"Is he in this squad?"

I thought for a moment. What should I say? Matsumoto seems to visit these barracks all the time. Maybe if I tell her the wrong information she won't be able to check.

"…No,"

"Then which division is he in?"

Just pick a random number, I thought.

"Division? Um, third?"

Rangiku smiled to herself. I did not understand why she enjoyed making me suffer so.

"What color hair does he have?"

I watched a yellow daffodil sway in the breeze in a bush not too far off.

"Yellow, I think."

"Have you seen each other often?"

"Well we've both been busy so we haven't really seen each other." I said nervously.

"I think I know who it is." Rangiku said confidently and got up from the bench.

"Y-You do?"

She placed her arms on either side of me, closing off any means of possible escape.

"You've got a thing for Kira don't you."

"N-No!"

"Don't try to persuade me otherwise Ayame. I knew something was up with you whenever we hung out with the guys. Besides, who else has blonde hair, and is in the third division that you and I know?"

I sighed. Matsumoto believing that I liked Kira was better than her finding out who I really liked. If she already 'knows' who I like, then she will no longer pester me about my love life. It could actually turn out for the better. Giving in would be the best choice in the long run.

"It's true," I said quietly.

Matsumoto brought me into her arms and squeezed me tightly. My bento box and all its contents crashed onto the floor.

"Oh~ My little Ayame is growing up! And there's still so much I need to teach you about boys."

"Joy," My smothered voice groaned. She released me and I fell back onto the floor.

"This is perfect. Now you guys can go to the Hanabi Festival together."

"W-wait. I don't know about-"

"Don't be silly Ayame. I don't mind setting you guys up for a date."

"B-But,"

This wasn't good.

"What's the problem?" She eyed me strangely.

I got up and wiped the noodles off the front of my uniform.

"Well, I have to work and…I don't have any clothes or anything and his probably busy…"

"You're just making up excuses. If there's a guy you like then you should just ask him. That's what I do." Her voice was soft and motherly.

But I'm not gorgeous like you, I thought dejectedly. The guy who I really like almost certainly would never go with me.

"You're cute Ayame, you just can't see it. All we would have to do is pull your hair back and give you a little makeover…"

"N-No, I don't think that's cut out for me."

"But I thought you wanted to go,"

"I changed my mind. I have to do…things tomorrow. Sorry."

She stood there looking sympathetic.

"Fine. If you just want to hide here moping and working all night while we're having fun I won't stop you."

She crossed her arms and the tone of her voice became indifferent.

"Huh?"

"I said I won't stop you. So I guess I'll see you later. Bye."

She waved and left.

I was shocked.

"B-Bye Ran...gi…ku,"

But she was already gone.

Was she really leaving? Could it really be that easy? I thought perplexed.

Usually, Rangiku would never take no for an answer. They way she spoke seemed as if she no longer cared anymore. I hoped that I had not hurt her feelings. Being mean was not something that I was aiming for. She was right when she had said that I wanted to go. Now, the urge of seeing the lights was just a small need. I felt as if I did not deserve to go. Especially if I had to leave Hisagi to work on his own.

Moreover, I couldn't imagine myself all dolled up attending a social gathering with a male. It was completely incomprehensible. Matsumoto did not know me. That event would never happen.

I stared at the bento box whose food was strewn against the ground. It looked so pathetic laying alone on the hard ground with its food dumped out and a cracked in two.

What use is a bento box when it's broken?

**Hisagi POV**

"Lieutenant Hisagi?" She was surprised to see me for the third time today.

"Did you see the patient leave here?"

"Ah, you mean Ms. Sato."

"Yes."

"She had been doing well so we released her. She left some time ago."

"Oh,"

"Would you like me to call or her?"

"No, that's fine. Thank you."

It was obvious that she would have left already, but the question was, to where?

I wondered if she was upset over yesterday. Hopefully she would not decide to leave because of the incident. It would be too much trouble to get someone else to replace her.

After I had left the Sato's room that morning I had traveled to my place of thought. It was the cliff, the same place where my captain would usually venture to when he needed to reflect.

I was aware that it was selfish of me to do so. I had a commitment to my squad. There was also a lot of paperwork that needed to be done.

Still, I needed time to think, to recompose myself. I could only continue my constant façade of being sure, alert and ready for so long. I was not a perfect leader, even though I tried to be.

The pressure of having so many souls depending on me seemed to constantly weigh me down. Every decision and word was weighted carefully. So many watching eyes. Who would know the consequences of my actions? So many people hoping for my downfall. So many people wishing for my success.

How can Captains possibly handle this type of pressure?

There were times when I wished I could just let the wind swipe me away for just a moment, so I would not be able to feel anything. I won't have to be conscious. Yet, every time I drink away my nights I always find myself stopping before I get too far wasted.

Maybe I should find Ayame before it gets too late, I thought.

**Ayame's POV**

"You w-wouldn't have happened to see Lieutenant Hisagi, would you?"

The shinigami shook his head and left.

"Ok,"

I checked his office and he was not there. I was beginning to feel anxious.

What should I do? I asked.

_Crawl into a hole and stay there._

I ignored my zanpakuto's snide comment and walked behind the office building. There was a garden there, slightly enclosed within the thick trees. There as a small fountain leading out to a little pond. Surrounding the pound was a collection of trees and flowers which had pleasant scents. I inhaled taking in the tingly aroma of the fauna. I looked around the area of the garden checking to see if anyone saw me enter.

I sat on a bench and stared at the fountain bubbling out water into the pond. Then I looked at the trees planted around it. They weren't as pretty as the ones in the Eighth Division but they were nice just the same. I wondered if Hisagi was the one who had this garden planted. Then I discarded that thought seeing as how Hisagi did not appear to be the one who had time to gaze at nature. I concluded that this enclosure probably belonged to the ex-Captain. For someone who was blind he surprisingly had an 'eye' for beauty. Then I sniffed. Or smells.

My thoughts returned to the festival. Matsumoto's words were still fresh in my mind.

_You're cute Ayame, you just can't see it…just making up excuses…If there's a guy you like then you should just ask him…hide here moping…_

Matsumoto's advice was interesting. The festival did sound romantic. I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest.

The feeling of going hand in hand with Hisagi clouded my imagination. I could not remember the last time I wore a kimono, except that one time with my mom at a cousin's wedding. Excluding that one time I do not think I even owned one. So even if I wanted to go I couldn't. And even if I owned one it would probably look ridiculous on me. This made me feel better about choosing not to go.

I kicked the dirt below me.

Even if the kimono did not look that ridiculous I still wouldn't be able to ask my crush to go with me. It would be inappropriate and selfish to do so, especially at a time like this when he's so busy. I probably won't even see him today or tomorrow.

But he did say he might go.

I itched at the bandage on my head.

Maybe.

Maybe I could ask him. I could try at least. Just see if he is actually going. Just to see.

Footsteps echoed against the pavement. I bolted from my seat on the bench. I had been caught.

I looked around idly for a place to hide.

"Ayame?" The voice was yielding and distant.

I turned behind me. Hisagi was standing next to a tree his face shaded by the shadow of the leaves. He seemed surprised to see me as I was surprised to see him.

"Lieutenant! I um, I-I-I-I-I," I bowed apologetically but I did not know why. I had not committed a crime.

He walked up to me in the midst of my babbling. I stood stone-still while his musky scent overpowered my senses.

If only I didn't have this stupid feelings. If only I was braver. Then I would not be so weak and so scared. Then I could do my job like a normal person.

He face conveyed no anger like I expected. He simply eyed my forehead bandage.

I couldn't stand the silence. So my mouth started moving without thought.

"I'! I understand if you want to get someone else. I was slow and-"

Hisagi looked confused.

"It was my fault. I'm the reason why you got injured."

I stopped to think over his words.

"But, it was my fault I got hurt, that's why you should get someone else."

"You put your wellbeing on the line for me. Why would I get someone else?"

"B-but, I'm s-slow and…" I blushed. My eyes could not keep focused on his steely grey silvery ones.I looked at his chest at which I was eye level with.

"Listen I was looking for you earlier today." He scratched the back of his head. Then he turned to look at the fountain.

Hisagi was looking for me this whole time? I thought in bewilderment. My heart skipped a beat.

"I thought you might have…well I wanted to let you know that…"

He stopped to gather his words in his head. There seemed to be turmoil within his brain about how he would phrase his sentence. I tugged on the hem of my sleeve uncomfortably.

He coughed into his fist and his voice took on a calmer and more professional tone.

"I wanted you to know that you have been very supportive to the Ninth Division these last few days. And I would hope that you won't decide to leave because of the last incident."

He wants me to stay? For what reason though? What could I offer that he couldn't find anywhere else?

"But I…I'm not strong or…fast like…."

"You're good at following directions, and you're kind, and you're hard working. You also handled that situation pretty well. What else would a shinigami need to have?"

"Oh," I stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say.

He searched my blank stare for a sign but then continued.

"I think you're a really good shinigami, Ayame. You have a lot of potential, so, please…don't change."

He called me a good shinigami.

"Yes, Lieutenant," I almost whispered. We were standing quite close. So I unconsciously took a step backwards.

I saw his hand twitch. It rose to my arm and landed on my shoulder. My legs were threatening to give way but I forced them to be strong. He swallowed as if holding back whatever else he had to say.

"Well, you should get some rest tomorrow. When you're ready I'll be at my office."

He patted me on the shoulder and then brought his hand back slowly to his side.

Then he left me in my state of stupor. I stood there for a while my mind a buzz. Did that just happen? Or did I just imagine that happening?

I went back to the bench and sat there for the rest of the evening, unable to keep the small tiny small from creeping onto my face.

….

….

I may have not been able to ask him about the festival but that was okay. I was in too good a mood to think about anything. All I wanted to do was plop down on my futon and write in my diary.

Upon arriving to the door to my room I put my hand on the handle. Then I noticed that there was a small if slight level of reiatsu coming from behind it. Maybe it's just an animal.

Or…that guy waiting in my apartment again.

I hoped it was not that guy. I knocked on the door, a silly action to do when wishing to enter your own place of living. There was a suppressed giggle followed a harsh sharp whisper. The possibility of the sound coming from my neighbors was minimal seeing as how I did not have any on the top floor.

"Um, Hello? Is someone in my room?" I heard another short burst of whispers that stopped suddenly.

"No need to be scared. Just go in." I told myself. I opened the door quickly, my hand hovering near my hilt just in case. The room was dark and I was pulled in suddenly. My arm flung out in defense unsure of what was going on. It made contact with something soft behind me which responded with a fling of curses.

"My face!" The familiar voice rang out. Then a flash of pink jumped off my body and towards me. The small being, no bigger than I, landed on top of my stomach and pinned me to the floor. My first instincts were to scream out but I stopped once the light made it able to see things better.

A young girl with short pink hair looked at me with her round auburn eyes from her position above me. I tried to wiggle free but she for someone who appeared so light she felt as if she weighed a ton.

"Hi! I'm Yachiru." She said in a cheerful manner giving me a big grin.

A candle was lit. It flickered and illuminated Matsumoto's face, who stood by the now closed door, giving her an eerie look.

"Ayame," Her voice sounded mischievous.

The small girl jumped up from her seat on my chest allowing me to stumble upwards too. She placed her hands behind her head and walked over to where Rangiku stood.

I looked behind me and saw Yumichika checking out his nose in the mirror.

"Wha-What are you guys d-doing in my room? W-What's going on?" I was completely confused.

"We're taking you to the Hanabi festival tomorrow silly." Matsumoto explained.

"Yeah, now get in this sack." The little girl named Yachiru added eagerly holding up a potato bag in one hand and a stick in the other.

"No Yachiru, I said no bags." Matsumoto reprimanded.

"Aaaaaw." She dropped the items on the floor disappointedly, her shoulders slumping.

"It was going to be a beautiful surprise, until you hit me in my face." Yumichika glared at me from his spot in front of the mirror.

"B-But I thought you…" I stammered still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Rangiku, Yumichika, and this unknown girl were in my room.

"You didn't think I would just let you off that easily do you? I can tell you really wanted to go."

"B-But I-." Rangiku placed a well pedicured finger to my lips.

"You can thank me later but we have to get some rest and wake up early tomorrow so we can go shopping and give you a makeover, right Yumichika?"

"I'll see what I can do, now can we leave already?" He sighed impatiently.

"M-Makeover? But-"

"Don't resist. We'll take you by force if we have to."

"So you're going to kidnap me?"

"Exactly,"

"Yea for kidnapping!" The pink haired little girl leaped for joy.

"Yachiru, let's take Miss Ayame back to my place shall we." Matsumoto said while placing her hands onto her hips.

"You got it Melons!" The girl skipped towards me and lifted me, to my shock, onto her shoulders. We left the room and entered into the night air. I, being in a state of shock, was only able to think of one thing.

I hope this little girl doesn't drop me.

* * *

**Author's Note again: So yeah…Tell me what you think! Did you like this chapter? Are you excited for the next one? Did you think it was funny (because sometimes I don't really think I'm funny but I try)?**

**Reviews and Critiques are always welcome!**


	13. Page 13 Part 1

**Author's Note**: What's up! So I broke this chapter into two parts because it was just too long to put into one chapter. There's no reason to hold the second part, so I'll probably just release that tomorrow. I also want to think everyone who has been reviewing and reading! This was my first fanfic ever and I did not really plan on it doing so well, especially when it had an oc in it. And the fact that Hisagi doesn't get as much screen time as he should may contribute to people being less interested in him, but I still like him.

* * *

Darkness. Wetness. A cold breeze.

What's going on with me?

Where am I?

Darkness.

Oh right, I was kidnapped, my thoughts echoed in my head. Or was that a terrible dream?

The dusk began to subside and I became more aware of the environment surrounding me. I wiggled my fingers. There was something cold and damp touching my nails. It tickled my skin and made me jerk my hand away in response.

"Hey," A faint voice objected. I felt someone grab my wrist and mumble an incoherent order. I moved my other hand to my cheek and gasped when I felt something slimy come off on my hand. I opened my eyes and to my shock I was unable to see. All I could see was a blanket of green.

Had I gone blind, I asked worriedly.

I sat up and heard Matsumoto's voice.

"Ayame, what are you doing?"

"I can't see! Someone help!"

The things blocking my view fell from my eyes, one after the other. I looked down at my lap to where the objects had fallen. Two cucumber slices sat in my lap.

"Be still, the paint hasn't dried yet." An annoyed Yumichika sighed.

My fingernails were covered in a marble indigo color. I looked down at my toes which had sponges separating each toe to make sure the drying paint would not be ruined. I wiggled those too, to make sure they were really attached to my body.

Slowly, I turned and put my legs over the side of the bed and onto the floor.

I had must have been taken to Matsumoto's place. At the side of the bed was Ayasegawa sitting on a stool with a container of blue liquid and a brush. The strawberry blonde bombshell was entertaining herself with a nail filer and the pink haired kidnapper from before was swinging her legs casually over the edge of the room's window singing a little nursery rhyme to herself. Around the bed there were a number of open and half used chemicals and bottles and jars of various beauty products scattered across the table and floor.

I got up from the bed, wobbling as I did so.

"Hey I didn't give you permission to move!" Objected the fifth seat of the Eleventh Division.

I looked down at myself and immediately covered my body with my hands. All I was wearing was a loosely closed white yukata. The article of clothing only came up to my upper thigh and left much of my chest exposed.

"Ah!" I squeaked. Then I ran to the closest door which I believed to be the bathroom. There was a large mirror on the wall and I recoiled once I saw it.

I resembled a folklore river monster! My body was covered in green mud while my hair had been randomly pinned and clipped on top of my head.

"Matsumoto!" I called.

She peaked from behind the door.

"Yes?" she asked in a cheery tone.

I touched my forehead.

"What is this...stuff...what have you been doing to me?"

She blinked at me as if she was confused. Then she smiled.

"Oh, that's just the mud mask. I put that on to stay overnight after giving you that scrubbing treatment."

She waved her hand like it was no big deal.

What could they have done to my body while I was asleep?

"Is there something wrong?" She asked.

I shook my head mechanically.

"Good, now go wash off. We have to go shopping for tonight." She added before shutting the door.

"Shopping?" I said inaudibly. But for what, I wondered.

I looked into the mirror again. Then I placed my blue nails to my heart.

Right. The fireworks festival.

* * *

In the streets of Rukongai

Matsumoto dragged me through the crowd, paying no attention to my tripping and babbling.

The bustling town was full of people moving hastily in all sorts of directions as they were preparing for tonight's festival. I watched as a group children played in the streets with the fliers, string and lanterns that a man had unknowingly left unguarded.

The pink haired girl, who I had come to know as Lieutenant Yachiru, left early when realizing that Matsumoto no longer had anymore candy to offer. While Ayasegawa followed begrudgingly.

I covered my chest with my arms. Wearing the normal issued shinigami outfit had always been my standard choice of attire. Now I had no choice but to wear the clothing offered to me by Rangiku.

The yukata was such a rich brilliant marigold shade. I was never a fan of bright colors, at least, when they are on me that is.

I looked down at my newly painted toe nails that glimmered through my sandals. I wiggled them again as I walked behind Rangiku.

Rangiku glided through the streets of Rukongai without effort. Her tresses flowed behind her in silky golden waves. While her apricot tainted skin sparkled in the gleam of the sun. I had asked her if she had already dressed up for the festival and was surprised to hear that this was just her shopping look. Her appearance seemed so naturally put together. A pain that could closely be related to that of jealousy rose up in the pit of my stomach as I watched men steal glances at her body.

I caught a glance at my reflection in the passing windows of the various shops. My thin hair was compiled into a ponytail kept at the nape of my neck while my yukata was crudely fitted with its sash tied in a rush. The clothes I wore fit me awkwardly. It was way too big for me and clumped up in the oddest and most uncomfortable places. Everything fitted wrongly on me.

I paled at the thought of what I must look like walking next to Rangiku of all people.

I turned away from the mirrors, not wishing to gaze at the mess I was any longer.

After a while of walking, we approached a modest establishment not too far off from the populated area.

"So where exactly are we going again?" Ayasegawa asked.

She placed a slender finger on her chin. "It should be behind this building here…"

"For some reason I feel like you have no idea where we're going." He said under his breath.

"This must be the place. My female intuition has never failed me before."

The raven haired shinigami rolled his eyes and approached the building.

"I'll be waiting outside." Ayasegawa said offhandedly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Rangiku beckoned me to follow her inside the wooden house. I entered hesitantly. The shop room was brightly lit, with various candles and lanterns placed around the room. A scent of roses wafted through the air emanating from an incense placed on a small table. Behind a counter, a woman stood of about half my height. She took out the pipe and puff of smoke poured from her mouth.

"Hatchin-san, meet Ayame. She needs a kimono for tonight."

I blushed and bowed to greet her.

"H-Hi,"

The woman moved from the back of the counter and circled around me. I tugged at the hem of my yukata sleeve.

She grabbed my face with her bony sharp hand and lowered it to meet hers.

"Pale thing. Like paper." She commented brusquely. The old woman let go of my face and I rubbed my cheek where her hands had been.

I looked at Rangiku who was busy admiring the assortment of hair ornaments on a shelf.

The woman unrolled a long strip of paper and held up against my torso. She seemed to be taking my measurements.

"Not very endowed either," She mumbled to herself. After a series of awkward measuring she murmured in satisfaction and disappeared behind a large panel.

The woman reappeared holding multiple fabrics of clothing in her arms.

"Come. Try these on." She handed me the first article of clothing in her arms. It was a vibrant red color with flowers printed across it. My stomach lurched.

"W-wait. I don't know about this Rangiku..." I prattled.

"What's the problem?" Rangiku looked confused. They were both staring at me, waiting for an answer that I wasn't sure I could give.

"I mean, I'm...I haven't worn a kimono in such a long time..."

"And?"

"Well…I don't think they'll look good on me." I felt stupid for saying it, but it was the only reasonable answer I could come up with.

"Don't be silly Ayame, everyone looks good in a kimono." She assured me.

"But...not me...besides, I don't want you and Ayasegawa to go through all the tr-"

"I won't have it. You can't go the Hanabi festival without a kimono. Now change." She crossed her arms over her ample bosom.

I sighed. This was only going to end up badly. I knew it.

I started taking off my clothes before stopping again and turning to face them.

"Um?"

"What's the matter now?" Rangiku asked.

"A-Are you guys going to stay there or should I..."

"Of course. We have to see how it looks."

I blushed, my hands still hovering over the yukata. Then I faced the opposite wall.

"We're waiting." Matsumoto huffed and tapped her shoe on the floor.

"Okay." I said but still made no movement to change. I had never stripped naked in front of a person before. The fact they were females did not lessen the embarrassment of the situation. Even during my Academy days I found ways to avoid dressing down in front of my teammates.

She sighed. "If you won't take it off then I'll take it off for you."

"B-But Rangiku!" I took a step backwards.

"Strip!"

"I-"

"Just take off your clothes. There is nothing to be afraid off. We all have boobs here." Rangiku signaled to her own breasts.

"Hm," I did not budge.

"You give me no choice."

Rangiku lunged toward me, falling on top of me as she did so. She grabbed my failing arms and pinned them above my head, and placed her legs on each side of my body. Then she grabbed the sash holding my yukata together and untied it without exertion. The flaps fell open revealing my undergarments.

"R-Rangiku! W-What a-are you d-doing?" My voice rose in falsetto.

"Be still. This will hurt a lot less if you calm down."

We struggled on the floor while the woman observed with amusement.

"Ah, Rangiku, no...stop!"

"Don't fight it, Ayame. You'll feel better about it later. Just let it happen."

"B-But, ah, stop. Don't touch me there!"

"What's going on-" Ayasegawa stopped mid sentence, staring at the compromising position Rangiku and I were in before him. He blinked a few times, before walking back out silently.

Taking advantage of the distraction, she pulled away the entire yukata which I had been clutching on to in an attempt to cover myself. I lay there, cold and bare, in the middle of the room.

"Done. Now let's get this on you."

We tried on numerous kimonos. They were usually either too big or too small. And many just accentuated my "sickly paleness" as the old woman described. I stood in the mirror's view looking hopeless as Rangiku and the woman stared at the current kimono I was forced into. Its sleeves ended well beyond my hands and it was designed with a simple pink pattern of clouds across black fabric.

"I don't like it." Rangiku stated instantaneously.

"That's the last one I have." The old woman stated exasperatedly.

I felt guilty. Rangiku was putting so much effort into a mission that was a hopeless cause.

"It's alright, if you don't find anything..." I said quietly.

Rangiku did not hear me. "What about the one in the back?"

"You mean that old one?" The woman seemed surprised that Rangiku had even mentioned it.

Rangiku nodded keeping her eyes on my mirror image.

The clerk went to the back of the store and brought out a pile of green fabric.

"Here change into this."

I put on the kimono and Rangiku helped me tie the obi. I stood there releasing a sigh.

Rangiku stood back, once finished with situating the kimono.

"Wow, I like this one. The color really matches your hair and brings out your eyes."

"Really?" The kimono was a minty green color with the faint outline of sakura trees imprinted across it. It was simple, not too extravagant but not too basic. I wouldn't call it perfect but I didn't feel like throwing up when I saw it on myself either, at least not too much. I would even go as far as to say I kind of liked it.

"What do you think?"

"Oh, well, I...It's nice."

"Great we'll take this one." She said definitively. I wondered how she planned on paying for it but decided not to ask.

We walked out of the store with the new article of clothing in hand. Rangiku had even picked up a hair ornament to match, not that I planned on wearing it though. Ayasegawa followed behind still feeling the awkwardness of the events before.

I had never known that prepping took so much work. But Rangiku did not seem stressed at all about it. She seemed to relish in the uncoordinated chaos.

Ayasegawa sat me in a chair after I struggled to put the kimono on again at Matsumoto's house. Rangiku was busy changing herself and doing her own make up in a room across her apartment.

"Now what should I do with this?" He tapped the comb to his lips.

I placed my hands in my lap learning early on that I should sit back and let the events of the day just transpire.

"First I'll start with removing those god awful bangs from your face." He placed the comb in my hair and attempted to comb it.

"When's the last time you combed your hair?"

I blushed. He tsked.

"You're lucky that you have me here. Thankfully I have enough expertise to unveil even the most solitary of wild flowers from a thin curtain of unattractive moss."

He combed the strands of my hair back, taking great care of being gentle with it. Then he neatly gathered it into a bun. Finally, he placed the green flowery ornament in my chignon, locking it into place. I opened my eyes, surprised with the new feeling of having hair out of my line of view.

"And now for the makeup..."

It was not long before he had finished. I refused to look into the mirror to see the product in fear that I might not even recognize myself.

"I'll be leaving. Tell Rangiku that I've held up my end of the bargain so she better hold up hers."

I nodded.

"T-Thanks Ayasegawa for, um,"

"Yeah," He said before leaving out the door.

Rangiku stepped out of the room looking easily striking as ever. I got up from my stool to get a better look. She wore a red kimono with a black sash. The designs were cheery and golden, much like her personality. And of course, her chest was displayed for ultimate cleavage. The way the traditional style clothing hugged her body failed to leave anything left to the imagination at all really. But I did not say that out loud though.

"Wow," was all I could utter.

"Do you like?" She struck a theatre worthy pose and winked jokingly.

"I can never find a yukata that can handle these though." She grabbed her chest which jiggled in her hand.

Matsumoto's eyes raised in shock.

"Oh, Ayame. You look ," She veered off.

Dumb, I thought.

"Here," She handed me a hand mirror.

I stared deeply into the eyes of the unrecognizable face. For the first time, I didn't know what to think about myself. The girl looking at me seemed completely different than I had expected. She wore a light blue eyeshadow and a tint of red gloss on her lips. On her cheeks was a touch of pink. For some reason, I could not stop staring at her. Could she really be me?

I put the mirror on a table nearby. My eyes were a bit warm almost as if I felt the urge to cry.

This could not possibly be me. I do not wear makeup, perfume, or nail polish.

"I look silly," I said simply.

She smiled.

"You look sexy."

"But I don't want to be sexy…"

"I'm sure all the guys are going to be looking at you tonight."

Guys, looking at me? I could not imagine.

"Especially a certain cute blonde 'you know who'." She winked.

"Rangiku!" I blushed.

She has already done too much for me. I do not need her setting me up too. The strawberry blonde Lieutenant looked at me innocently.

"What? Tonight is the perfect night for love."

I moaned and Rangiku giggled.

"Now come on." She grabbed my arm.

"Let's go have some fun."

* * *

**Author**: That's the end of part 1! It's actually pretty short compared to part 2 but I had to find a logical place to cut the long chapter in half. Next chapter will be about the actual festival. Hopefully something(s) interesting will happen.


	14. Page 13 Part 2

**Part Two**

**P.S:** Sorry for having it out later than I originally said.

* * *

No wonder Hisagi likes her.

We arrived at the town central where most of the activity was being held. It was not dark enough to set out the lanterns since the sun was still lowering in the distance. I walked behind Rangiku keeping my eyes focused on the pebble walk way. Never before had I worn so much makeup and clothes. I felt uncomfortable and the sensation of throwing was beginning to build up in my stomach.

"Where are they?"

The strawberry blonde placed her hand on her hip, before spotting the guys. Renji stood, leaning against a watermelon stand, in a white yukata with pink petals across the bottom. Izuru stood in front of him, with a black yukata covered in white and golden birds. Ayasegawa's was the most extravagant and flashy of them all and was a plum color with light purple large flowers. Ikkaku's was simple, to be expected, and didn't even appear to be a traditional yukata. It was a dull green color with a zanpakuto to match hanging at his waist.

Last but not least, was the hyper active pink haired girl from before, who was hanging off Ikkaku's back. I was unaware that so many shinigami took part in this holiday. I wondered how they had got off of work.

I used Matsumoto as a shield, and peaked from behind her. It was inevitable that they would see me, but I could not help but hide.

Renji waved at us.

"Hey," He said.

"About time. What the hell took you so long?" Ikkaku said irritated.

"Beauty takes time." Rangiku countered.

Ikkaku shut his mouth, before looking around and opening it again.

"Where's Ayame?"

She cocked her head to the side.

"What are you talking about?"

He folded his arms over his chest and looked away. Yumichika held his hands and laughed lightly.

"He's been asking about her all day." Yumichika's voice fluttered jokingly.

Ikkaku face reddened faintly and he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked in the opposite direction.

"Che," He grumbled.

"You were asking baldy." The pink haired girl confirmed nodding as she did so.

"No one asked you!" He growled at the girl behind him.

I slithered out from behind Matsumoto.

"Ayame's right here." She pointed at me.

Shock was the easiest word to describe their facial expressions and reactions. All but Ayasegawa, seemed to respond in a thoroughly astonished behavior. Matsumoto giggled to at their dramatic reaction.

My eyes darted from right to left, embarrassed by the gawks.

"Ayame is that you?" Renji asked dumbly.

"Of course it's her you idiot. Stop acting stupid." She slapped Renji across his head. He rubbed his head.

"But, you look so…different."

"Pasty-chan!" Yachiru greeted upon recognizing me.

Pasty-chan? Was that the nick name I was supposed to live with? Was that the best she could come up with?

"Of course she does. Thanks to my help that is." Yumichika commented obviously taking great pride in what he deemed his 'piece of work'.

I smiled a bit nervously.

"We should get going." Izuru suggested.

As we walked, I migrated to the back of the group where Ikkaku and Yumichika were standing. I sighed. Maybe I should say something, I thought. We had been training together for a while but I had not had the chance to see them since working with Hisagi.

Suddenly, I was reminded of the conversation I had had with the Lieutenant yesterday. It was juvenile how satisfied I had been when he told me how he thought I was a good shinigami. I was also reminded of the regret of not personally asking him about the fireworks festival. It was too late for that now though.

He probably won't come, so I should just stop thinking about it, I told myself.

But it would be nice if he did.

"I-I'm excited to see the lights." I greeted out loud in an attempt to make things seem a tad more casual. However, the sentence came out more forced than I would have liked it to.

Ikkaku did not look at me but he grumbled a 'hm' in response. I could only guess that that was his way of agreeing.

"Hm, you've been awfully quiet Ikkaku. This quite new for you." Yumichika teased while nudging his bald fellow shinigami in his side.

"Shut the hell up." He grunted.

Why was he acting that way?

Maybe it's because I look completely stupid in this yukata. I groaned. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? The subconscious feeling that everyone was judging you as you walked by was too much for me to handle.

It was difficult to blend in. My kimono was mint green and my hair had been pulled away from my forehead. I felt naked. Not as naked as I felt when Rangiku had nearly assaulted me this morning but pretty darn close to it. I also felt vulnerable. And I could not find encouraging thoughts to make me feel better about helplessness.

We walked deeper into the city streets. There were booths and shacks lined up across each side selling a variety of festive items.

I sighed with content. Calming a bit as the crowds got larger. I was not a fan of crowded places but at least in bigger crowds it was more complex to be singled out. I remembered when my father had taken me to the festival. I did not recall anything that stood out besides the smell of good food, flashing lights, and awe.

Yachiru gasped and awed at the sight of the ostentatious colors. She was quite cute despite her high rank and her threatening ability to probably snap my neck in half if she wanted to. Still cute, nonetheless.

"Pineapple head, I'm hungry." She tugged Lieutenant Abarai's sleeve.

He focused his attention on the girl hanging from his arm.

"Get me some food." She pointed excitedly at a booth nearby.

He sighed.

Rangiku's smiled and her beauty mark crimpled at the corner of her lip. Her voice unexpectedly oozed with sweetness.

"And get me something too Renji, a girl like me shouldn't walk around famished."

"Didn't any of you bring your own money?" He asked.

Rangiku clutched onto his other arm and put on her signature pout.

"Come on Renji. For me?"

"Fine, but just this one time."

They celebrated their victory and happily skipped over to one of the sweets booth.

I gazed at the stand full of candies and sweets I had never even seen before.

"You want something?"

The question had come out of the blue. I turned to realize Ikkaku had asked. His face was serious.

"Oh, um, I'm fine." I really was. And I could not have the guilt of making him buy something for me.

"Why didn't you offer me anything?" Yumichika asked.

Ikkaku ignored his comment.

"I want this one." Stated Yachiru.

"Do you even know what that i-"

"I said I want this one." She ordered.

The salesman handed them their food while Renji in exchange, hesitantly handed him money for the overly priced food.

Yachiru danced around with her Mitarashi dango, four little balls of dough stuck on a stick with sweet sauce covering them. She waved it around in the air with joy. Matsumoto held her food of choice in a carton. I peaked inside.

"What is it?" I asked meekly.

"It's chocolate covered squid with mayonnaise sauce. Want to try one?"

I shook my head.

"Your loss," She waved the stick in my face before placing it into her mouth. The sauce dribbled down her chin and onto her breast. I caught Izuru and Renji staring out of the corners of their eyes.

"Oops." Rangiku said innocently.

There were so many children around. So much laughing and so many couples holding hands. The festival had a romantic air to it.

I speculated the possibility of Hisagi arriving. For some reason, I felt disappointed, even though I found the result inevitable. He had to work today.

Yet still, I hoped.

A line of children with masks pushed their way past us.

"Ah!" Matsumoto called out.

"What happened?" The guys asked in unison. I bumped into her back, unaware that she had stopped in the middle of the road.

"Goldfish scooping." She said in wonder.

Yachiru's face lit up.

"Goldfish scooping?" She gasped.

"Not again." Renji sighed.

They made their way to the goldfish booth pushing aside what ever poor pre pubescent young soul in who stood their way. We followed.

Games were always popular at festivals, so it was only customary that we played one, I assumed.

"What's the point of playing, you're just going to neglect it like last time."

Yumichika stated a matter-of-factly.

"That's not true. Now someone give me some money." Matsumoto objected.

I eyed the large tub of water. Inside were a school of bright orange goldfish glimmering as they darted and moved through the shallow water. Kids stared at them wide eyed and snot nosed.

"May I have two bowls please?" Matsumoto asked the old man overlooking the game.

He handed her two nets and bowls which she gave one of each to an excited Yachiru. The pink haired girl jittered around before kneeling beside the tub.

I turned to Yumichika. "Are you going to play?"

"And risk getting water splashed on my hair? I'll pass." The black haired shinigami held up his hand in a disgust at the childish game.

"Okay," I watched, unfamiliar with how the game was played.

Matsumoto and Yachiru coupled with the other participants stared at the water attentively, waiting for the right moment to catch their fish, I suppose. Unable to take the stillness of the moment Yachiru lunged into the water hands flailing. She splashed water and goldfish into the concentrated faces of Renji and Izuru who sat were kneeling beside her. They coughed.

"Come back here fish!" The fish fluttered away from her outstretched hands.

"You can't go in like that. You'll scare all the damn fish away." Ikkaku advised.

She stuck out her bottom lip and crossed her wet arms over her chest.

"I know!" An idea had landed in her brain.

She took out her zanpakuto and lifted it above the tub. Everyone moved back from the unexpected unsheathing of the weapon.

"I'll just catch the fish using-"

"No!" We all yelled in unison.

She looked disappointed and released an aaw.

Matsumoto giggled.

"Silly boys, it's all about grace. You have to be gentle and delicate, like I." the strawberry blonde placed her net in the water only to have it break abruptly.

"Delicate you say?" Yumichika snickered.

"Shut up Yumichika. I need another net. This one was poorly made!" She pouted, waving her broken net in the air.

They all seemed to not be having much luck in the game. It appears that it was a lot more difficult than it appeared.

"Hey old lady, I want a turn."

"Don't you see I'm busy?" She snapped at the young child. Matsumoto seemed to be getting a little testy and I made a mental note not to approach her when she's concentrating. He stuck his tongue out at her but she didn't notice due to her interest in the game.

Yachiru walked up to me, shoving her net and bowl into my hands.

"I don't want to play anymore. You have it, Pasty-chan." She shoved the items back into my hands.

"B-but I don't..." It couldn't hurt to try. I kneeled beside Izuru and observed the tube of fish.

I sat next to the tub of fish, unsure of what to do.

So all I have to do is catch a fish without breaking the net? That shouldn't be too hard, I assured myself. I singled out one fish in particular. It was a pretty golden orange color. I slipped in my net and gently but swiftly raised the flopping fish out of the water. It flopped sloppily into my fish bowl.

"Ah, you make it seem so easy." Renji said in marvel.

"Wow!" Yachiru added peering over my shoulder with her big red eyes.

"How did you do that, and on your first try?" Rangiku added.

I blushed."Well, I was just lucky, I mean, y-you just have to be gentle is all."

"See how many you can catch until the net breaks." One kid asked.

"Okay..."

I looked back into the tub and put my net back into the water. Then quickly I lifted another fish into the bowl.

"Amazing," Someone whispered. Was it really that big of a deal, I wondered.

"I give up." Rangiku concluded and put her things onto the floor. She got up from her spot and moved behind me. If I had not been so involved in the game I would have noticed that she had convinced everyone except for Izuru to follow her to some unknown destination. Izuru watched on, oblivious to the sudden lack of company.

Within five minutes I had successfully caught ten goldfish before breaking my net, which apparently had broken the booth's record. I had even acquired a small crowd mostly composed of small children and a few adults. They clapped and I was given a cute little sakura blossom pin to put in my bun.

"So, do you want these in bags?" Asked the man gruffly.

"You mean, I get too keep the goldfish?"

"You won 'em didn't you."

I looked at the small fish as the flittered around the bowl.

"Can I just take one?" I held up one finger. He shrugged in indifference.

"Fine by me."

I walked from the booth with my new companion in hand. But to my surprise, I only say Izuru standing off by himself.

I searched the pathway for a sign of another familiar figure. None could be found.

"Have you seen Rangiku and everyone else?" I tried standing on my tiptoes to look over the heads of the other pedestrians.

He shook his head.

"She said she was coming back..." He said uncertainly.

That Rangiku! She probably ditched us on purpose. Curses.

"Oh, well, I'm sure we can find them again." I said holding my new goldfish in my sleeve.

We walked along the pathway. The moon had set and it was beginning to get dark. The fireworks would be starting soon.

I felt awkward walking alone next to Izuru. I really didn't know him that well. His surprisingly deep voice cut through the quiet between us.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" His voice wavered but was calm at the same time. His question sounded as if he was unsure to even ask.

"Y-yeah, um, are you?"

He nodded.

Izuru was an interesting person. He had changed considerably so since graduating from the Academy though. Once he had been so mischievous and cheerful, now he looked so…sad. He obviously was not in this state of emotion all the time. He had his share of jokes here and there, but still.

"You look...nice," He tried to compliment me.

I blushed. I waved my hands furiously in the air but was unable to say anything audible.

"Thanks," I finally told him.

"Your yukata thing looks cool too."

"Ah, thanks"

I sighed. Where was Matsumoto?

It was silent for the rest of our walk. I mentally cursed Matsumoto and her efforts at playing match maker.

It will be impossible to find them in this mass of people and it was getting increasingly darker by the moment.

"I think I sense them a ways off here." Izuru spoke up.

Out in the distance and shrouded by darkness, a figure waved at us.

My stomach gurgled and a pain shot through my abdomen. It clenched and writhed inside my gut. I winced at the uncomfortable sensation.

He began walking but stopped once he realized that I was not following him.

"Are you coming?"

"Oh, um, I'm just going to get a snack first."

"Are you sure Ayame?"

I nodded. My stomach growled in a predatory like manner.

He was hesitant to leave me by myself.

"Well, if you say so..."

I watched him walk off towards the group who sat on a hill near the river bank. Everyone seemed to be preparing for the fireworks. Families had their blankets spread out picnic style and children were beginning to calm down.

I was happy that Matsumoto had brought me here. She was too nice to me.

I went to the nearest stand. The smell radiating from the freshly baked pastries filled my nostrils and forced my stomach to react with a series of convulsions. I pointed to the first thing I could see.

"May I have this cake, please?" I asked eagerly.

I spent the last of my pocket money. Not that I had brought a lot, only enough to get a snack. Unknowingly, I had not taken into account that prices were always higher at events like these. That did not matter now, as long as I had something to eat, I thought.

It smelled delicious, and my mouth watered at the fresh warm pastry in my hand. I tied my goldfish bag to my waist.

As I was about to eat the cake slice I noticed the eyes of a little girl staring at me. I stopped myself from taking a bite of the cake and looked back at her. The girl stood, almost out of place, amongst the yukata clad children. Had I offended her? She licked her chapped lips. Her face was dirty and her mane was a bit disheveled. She looked alone.

She continued her intent look but now it was directed at the food in my hands. My stomach growled in competition with my brain and heart. I turned away from her longing gaze in an attempt to block it from my view. Then I stared at the cake. Sweets did not taste as well when mixed with guilt, my conscious told me. The voice in my head seemed to resemble that of my mother's own critical voice. I looked over my shoulder at the girl who still standing there.

Then I walked over to her.

"Um, do you want this?" I asked quietly. I slowly handed out the cake. My stomach rumbled louder in protest.

She shrunk away.

"You can have it, if you want. Here, I wasn't hungry anyways." I placed the cake in her hands. Her brown eyes became wet and wild with emotion. Then she dashed quickly down the street. My stomach growled again disillusioned with its loss, but I hushed it. Then I walked down the street.

I wonder where Matsumoto and the guys were. The grass by the bank side was filled with groups of people sitting together. I thought it best to not try to step over them. Maybe I'll go around, I decided.

I took a route through the woods along the river. The trees kept much of the moonlight from spilling through. The white light that did reach the ground formed different shapes made by the treetops. The farther I went along the river side the more the noise from the crowd and festivities seemed to fade in the back of my mind. Soon, the noise appeared more as a humming.

I hoped that Rangiku was not looking for me. She had been nothing but kind this entire day, and I was thankful. For her friendship. A part of me felt I did not deserve it. I was not overly interesting, in my opinion. And I did not have many friends before Rangiku. How could I even be sure I was doing this whole friendship thing right?

I walked up to the edge of the water. The moon was bright and its light reflected off the water like sparkly glitter.

"The moon is so pretty," I whispered to myself.

Why can't I be like the moon?

Someone who was mysterious, elegant, and subtle with grace. I skipped across the bank taking no mind of the water splashing against my geta shoes.

But someone who had the power to move waves too, I added. Then I would not have to worry about being weak, I would be perfect.

I sighed. How easily I became distracted. If anyone here to see me here alone they would think I was strange.

At least I have you goldfish. Or should I call you Haru?

It was childish having such an attachment to the little animal but I giggled anyways. My own laugh scared me. I was on my own now and the calm always emphasized how much you were alone.

I walked up to a small hill.

I kneeled onto the grassy floor which was cold and hard from last night's rain.

Then, I held my knees up to my chest and stared up at the sky again. Was it outlandish that I find tranquility in isolation?

There was a rustle of the trees before I felt a high reiatsu behind it. The sudden movements shocked me momentarily before I realized that it was probably Matsumoto or one of the guys looking for me.

"I'm sorry, I got lost." I said quietly over my shoulder.

There was a moment of silence.

"Ayame?"

My body went rigid.

His tone was cautious and surprised.

I turned behind me.

The outline of a lofty slender man appeared behind me. The only thing noticeable was the roughness of his hair. His face was shrouded by the night, but I did not need it to know who he was. My only problem was believing it was him. I rubbed my eyes. He held a lantern up to his face. His lips were parted and his eyebrows set in a hard line against his forehead. The harshness of his scars was dulled by the dim lamplight. It made him appear softened by the night.

"Shu-I mean L-Lieutenant?" My voice cracked. What was he doing here, I thought.

"Hm?" He walked closer, shining the light near my face.

"Is that you?" He asked.

He moved closer and kneeled beside me. The Lieutenant was wearing a traditional blue yukata and a jacket over it. Unsure of what to say, I held my hand to my mouth.

"Is someone sitting here?"

"N-No! I mean…" I could not bear to tell him I was sitting by myself.

He sat next to me and placed the lantern between us.

"H-How did y-you find me here?" I struggled to ask.

"I thought I had sensed your reiatsu."

He looked at me but this time he seemed to be analyzing something. I shifted uncomfortably under his steely gaze.

"Did you cut your hair?"

I touched the strands unconsciously.

"Not really..."

"You look different." He struggled to find an appropriate word.

Was different a bad thing or a good thing I wonder?

"If you were looking for Matsumoto and everyone else they should be over there."

I pointed in the direction I had come from. Hisagi did not make a motion toward that direction though.

Silence.

"Is it fine if I stay here?" He asked.

My heart jumped.

"A-Are you sure? I mean, you can probably see the fireworks better from over there..." My words were coming out quickly and began tripping over one another. I was too confused to think properly.

He did not respond. And I wondered if he had even understood me.

He looked at me again with those dark eyes of his. The weight of his stare was too much for me and I buried my head into my knees and picked the grass beside me.

His eyebrows furrowed and he stared at the sakura pin placed in my hair.

"I like your hair."

I stopped plucking the grass and looked slowly at the collar of his clothing.

He seemed as if he had regretted his comment.

"I mean, I like uh, how it's out of your face. It makes your eyes look..." He coughed immediately afterwards. And for some reason, I thought he may have been nervous.

He liked my hair? I thought it had made me look stupid. Was he trying to be nice? I didn't want to believe his words were actually a way of complimenting me. Yet, I blushed profusely and felt my whole body get warm.

"Ayame, listen," His voice was a lot more serious.

I swallowed and looked up at his eyes.

Silence filled the seemingly long distance between us but the silence this time was not upsetting; it was comforting. If I did not understand anything about Hisagi: What pain he was experiencing. What his thoughts were.

I could sense his emotion. I realized that he appreciated solitude and silence just as much as I.

A crackle rippled through the sky. Lights and flashes of red and blue illuminated the profile of his face as I stared at the firm yet strong lines of his countenance. His features were haggard, nervous and flustered all at the same time, a drastic difference from his usual calm level appearance. His visage was filled with so much sentiment yet he spoke no words. For the first time I found the courage to stare straight into his eyes.

I needed to see, I thought. I needed to see something, anything.

We sat there, looking at each other. And I felt that I might die. Another firework flew into the air and crackled and sprinkled lights of green and white. In the far distance the low hum of cheers could be heard.

I waited patiently but on edge to see what he would do next.

His cheeks flushed. His face moved slightly and hesitantly down towards mine. I could smell the sweat, and the tint of sake radiate from his warm moist breath. My face was burning now.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer.

"L-Lieutenant?" My voice was strained and quiet.

Another spray of light shimmered across the black sky. A wave approving noises erupted from the crowd far off. But their sounds seemed so remote now. All I could hear was the steady breathing of my current Lieutenant's and my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.

"Please, call me Hisagi." He said.

I stared back at him mutely. His face retreated away from mine. And the heat from my face seemed to dissipate with it. I turned away and looked at the moon.

Then I heard him shuffling beside me. For a second, I believed that he might be leaving. I felt his leg brush mine. I swallowed. Then I scooted a tad bit closer to him. We were touching and that part of my body seemed to ignite with fire.

My throat was dry, and my mind was fuzzy.

"Are you cold?" He whispered next to my ear.

I could not answer and Hisagi did not wait for a response. He moved even closer, if possible, and placed his arm behind me. I stiffened at the contact and he was alarmed at my response.

Hisagi did not look at me but I craned my neck to see him. His face looked so mysterious lit up by the artificial fire. It looked surreal. The entire moment felt surreal.

After a moment, I gradually laid my head against his shoulder. It felt warm through the fabric.

We sat there in silence, relishing in this unexplained moment that no words could describe.

And I felt at peace.

* * *

Author's Note: That's the end of this chapter, I suppose. I want to really thank everyone who has been reviewing and stuff. (you know who you are) It really helps!


	15. Page 14

**Author's Note:** Hi guys! I know some of you probably believed that I had fallen off the face off the earth and entered the sun's orbit but I didn't. Really sorry for the wait. College stuff has been so stressful (Even though it's not a good excuse for lack of updates) This chapter is pretty long though.

* * *

_Shock._

_Disbelief._

_Happiness._

_Happiness?_

_Confusion._

_Nothing._

_I do not know what to feel. How should someone feel after that? What is the appropriate way to respond? What did that moment mean to him? And most importantly, what did it mean to me?_

_For the last two hours I have been wondering whether or not this was real. The moment previously I mean. Or was it the moment yesterday?_

_Sitting under the fireworks with him of all people, I just wanted to evaporate into the night air._

_He felt so warm._

_And his arms…_

_I think I might die… if I'm not dead already. I wanted to remember every single detail. Absorb all the sights, smells, and sounds of that moment. Yet, all I remember is sitting under the night sky for a long time. Then the next thing I know I'm in awake at my desk. It felt as if last night could have just been a made up fantasy conjured by my own active imagination. I could have really just chosen to stay in the recess of my room, fantasizing about a how fun the festival would have been if I did go. It was plausible. And more realistic for that matter._

* * *

There were two loud raspy knocks at the door. I closed my notebook hastily and shoved it inside my pillow case.

It must be breakfast time, I concluded. The only one who would knock at this time in the morning was the elderly shinigami woman inviting the woman's quarters to a painstakingly early meal.

I relaxed a bit and got up from my futon lying on the floor. There were still remnants of makeup left on my body that had refused to come off when wiping my face earlier this morning. I must have immediately fallen asleep without changing last night, which would contradict my theory of the events of last night being artificial.

"I-I'm coming," I said softly.

I did not bother to fix my sagging bun or disheveled kimono that hung off my shoulders. The woman was used to seeing me half asleep and still undressed for the day.

Thank goodness I did not have to worry about men coming to my door. Just imagine the embarrassment I would feel.

Once I reached the door I slid it open.

"Thank you for the reminder again but I…" I trailed off.

The person standing in front of my room did not look like the elderly breakfast lady. As a matter of fact, she did not even look like a she, but a he. And He had a striking resemblance to that of a certain Lieutenant who I may or may not have spent the entire night with.

The figure, tall, stoic, and dark stood in the doorway. The light seeping in from my own room shed light upon his stone face.

He ran a hand through his raven colored hair. The pointed strands returned back to their tousled state. A strange sound passed through my lips. My hand was tightly clenched around the door seal for support. His obscure dusky gaze caught my own surprised one. They flickered almost nervously then widened before focusing on something beside him.

"I,uh, didn't mean to..." A rosy blush spread across his face. I looked downwards.

"Ah!" I squeaked.

My hands pulled at my kimono closing it tightly around my body. A little too much skin had been revealed than I would have liked. I wrapped my arms around my torso and shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. I had really wished I had taken more time to get ready. After a period of self-conscious silence, a moment that we tended to share often, Hisagi cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry to bother you so early. I'm sure you must be tired after…" He cleared his throat and realigned his gaze to my face.

"There's a Lieutenants meeting today. So I was wondering if you could watch over the barracks for me while I'm gone."

"Oh," I said a little disappointedly. But what was I expecting him to say? I wiped away the stray strands of hair that had fallen in front of my face.

"I-I mean, sure- I mean, yes, Lieutenant!" I tried to sound as professional as I possibly could but my words where still colliding together due to embarrassment.

He nodded then scratched the 69 tattoo on his cheek. I shivered. There was a draft today.

"You don't have to call me Lieutenant."

"When we're alone" He added sheepishly. Scratching the back of his head he looked cautiously at me again as if to observe my reaction.

"Oh," I said weakly.

He took a step closer and stood in my doorway. My hand self consciously traveled around m face as I looked to either side of me. I must look awful, I thought. And I probably smell.

I forced my eyes to focus on the steady movement of his of his chest and how it expanded and deflated with each breath. Then I was reminded of the way his heart thumped against my ear. How strong and steady it felt and how it seemed to quill the pace of my own erratic heart and my own zealous thoughts.

How could I continue to work next to someone who I obviously had irrational feelings for? I thought I had stopped these stupid feelings from affecting me so much.

I clenched my hands. Something needed to be said.

"Th-Thanks for um, sitting with me last night. I know you could have sat with your friends..."

He raised his eyebrows. Instantly, I wanted to melt into the cracks of the floor.

I felt him lightly grab my arm and felt the warm rough skin of his palm through the thin silk of the fabric. It was a tender touch, not characteristic of the Lieutenant. He seemed as surprised as I was at the comforting gesture. But hadn't he put his arms around me last night?

"Ayame, about last night I-"

"Lieutenant!" A distant voice called urgently from down below.

His hand dropped from my arm.

"I-"

"Lieutenant!" The hurried voice called again.

He stepped away from my doorway looking back over the rail of the building.

"Sorry, the meeting shouldn't last long." He rubbed his shoulder and looked at the ground.

"Maybe, after I'm done we could eat or something," He added hesitantly before disappearing into the dawn's sky. He left without a goodbye but he left me feeling bemused. What did he mean by 'eat or something'?

I closed the door behind him and rubbed the spot above my elbow where he had touched me.

I held my hands to my chest and walked back to bed.

It would be daylight soon. And I'll have to get back to doing my job.

My hair was pulled back into a ponytail today, and not just any ponytail, a high ponytail. While this may not have seemed like a big deal for anyone else, it was an incredibly big step for me. I never wore my hair back. Not even during my childhood and academy days.

It did not matter how often my bangs obstructed my view or got in the way. They were my shield my disguise and they provided me with comfort. Strangely enough, I felt a bit daring.

I also felt a bit paranoid. There was the childish thought that everyone I passed was judging me and my hair.

It was silly but I could not help but feel that way sometimes.

I blushed and patted my cheeks to 'shake' out the embarrassment.

As I walked down the corridor leading to the ninth division's main office I noted the lack of people walking around. The atmosphere was surprisingly less tense and bustling than usual.

Before reaching the office I was cut off by a young man guarding the door.

"Do you have clearance for this area?" He addressed me in a curt manner. I looked up at him and blinked a couple of times.

"I, uh, what do you mean?"

When did I need to have clearance? I've always been able to walk in when I needed to.

"I'm sorry Miss but Hisagi isn't here right now. If you have any questions you need to see Ms. Sato or another seated officer." He said.

"Oh, okay..." What a second, I thought, I am Miss Sato.

"But, I'm Ms. Sato."

He looked confused and then peered at me as he studied my face.

"Ah," His doubtful look turned into one of recognition. Then he laughed nervously.

"Forgive me" He bowed. "I didn't recognize you for a moment…your hair,"

"It's okay," I assured him.

He moved aside and allowed me to enter the room. Had I really become that unrecognizable due to a simple change in hairstyle?

Once I left the office after organizing some files I headed down the east side of the barracks. I was unsure of what else to do. What does a Lieutenant's day usually entail? The ninth division seemed to work well enough on its own without my attempts to 'oversee' it. Knowing me I would just end up messing something up.

I sighed. People had too much faith in me. I could never do what Lieutenant Hisagi does, even if just for part of the day.

Thinking about Hisagi got me thinking about what he had said earlier about eating 'or something'. I began to contemplate over the possible meanings behind 'eat or something'. Was this an indirect formal invitation to go out to eat or was it just an empty suggestion one says just to be nice?

"Pathetic!" The loud guttural voice bellowed just a few yards away. It sounded awfully familiar, which caused me to stop just before turning the corner.

"Please, Sir I didn't mean to-" A quivering voice whimpered.

I pressed my back against the wall.

"Didn't mean to?" The overpowering voice mocked.

I peeked from behind the edge of the building. Behind the building led out to a bare pasture like area. It could easily be used for training grounds. In the middle of the land gathered a group of shinigami. I could see the back of a much larger man in the in looming over the form of a much smaller female recruit. From my position I could make out the round softness of her red cheeks.

I assumed that these must have been recent graduates.

She was trembling and wrung her hands together while staring at the large feet of the man in front of her. The other shinigami looked alarmed and stood placidly staring at the girl warily.

Well, they are training, I considered, crying and discipline is to be expected. I know I had had my fair share of crying and messing up in my day.

The young girl's eyes were glossy and she sniffled once or twice before he began speaking again.

"It seems like you'll need extra practice." He continued to lecture.

"Everyone else is dismissed for today." He waved his large arm signaling the rest to leave. They eagerly cleared out of the area leaving only the man and the younger shinigami. I focused in on the older man's face once he turned. It was pudgy like that of a pig's, with a thick long mustache running across his upper lip and two long side burns. I recognized that sleazy glint in his eyes anywhere.

My 'escort' Mr. Toshimori.

The sensation of throwing up began to bubble in my stomach and I quickly turned on my heel to leave.

This was no place for me, not when I had 'other things' to worry about.

"M-Mr. Toshi-"

Then a loud smack reverberated through the air.

My mind pleaded with my body to ignore. And my body by all means wished to comply. However my conscience overpowered everything and forced my body to shuffle back slowly to the corner of the building. I peeked around the corner again.

The girl was lying on the floor, holding her face while Umesada stood with his arm raised above his head.

I wondered whether or not if I had just imagined what I had heard.

"It seems like you'll need special training."

The girl slowly got back up onto her feet trying her best to shield her tear stricken face. Toshimori crossed his arms over his belly and leered down at the young girl.

"I can let you off early. If you make up for it in return..."

He smirked. The girl simply stared downwards trying to avoid his gaze.

I hope he meant that in an 'I'll help you improve you skills' type of 'return' instead of the 'totally perverted' type of return my mind just thought of.

He placed his hand on top of the young shinigami's small shoulder. I looked around frantically for anyone else in the vicinity. What a perfect day for the ninth division to be lacking on members. I placed my back against the walls and shut my eyes tightly. I didn't want to go out of my boundaries of authority or anything; I just wanted to do my job.

I breathed in.

"I- uh," The girl stammered.

But…I knew if I was in that situation I would have liked someone to say something, especially if I did not have the courage to say anything for myself.

I sighed.

Then I placed my hand over the hilt of my sword and straightened up against the wall then I took a step from out behind the building.

"Stop," I tried to say in an intimidating manner. My voice ended up cracking like a prepubescent boy's.

This did not stop my unsure trek towards the two though.

Toshimori immediately removed his hand from her shoulder. My voice appeared to have startled him in the midst of his act. He turned to me, his thick arching eyebrows raised in shock. He soon relaxed a bit upon seeing my small form.

"Who are you?" He asked with contempt. The girl shrunk away from Toshimori and stared back at me.

I stepped back a bit once coming face to face with his much larger form.

"I-I um, that doesn't matter! W-what you're doing is inappropriate and..." Why had not I come up with something cool to say beforehand?

"What are you talking about? I'm in charge of the new recruits and I'm just teaching them the basics." He said innocently.

At that moment he became aware of my identity and his face took on a much smugger visage. He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

I tried my best to put on my best mean glare.

"Well, I d-don't think the way your t-teaching the recruits reflects the ninth division's-"

He scoffed.

"Oh really? What do you know about how ninth division recruits are taught? You're just a substitute member."

"Uh, well, that's true but…"

I unclenched my hands, and looked at the ground beneath me.

"I'm a seated officer, so I'll do what I want. I'm not taking orders from some inexperienced paper filer."

The buzz that fizzled in my stomach beforehand seemed to fizzle out and the heat began to rise to my face.

I took another hesitant step back keeping my stare in line with his. The words may have come from a stranger but they seemed to fuel my own doubtful subconscious.

Maybe he's right; I don't have the authority to tell him what to do.

How pathetic. I guess Hisagi was right not to trust you with anything important. All your good for is filing papers. I'm not surprised though; you've always let people walk all over you.

The girl looked at me guardedly. Her eyes were pleading.

I grabbed the hilt of my sword.

"I, I am a fourth seat, of the eighth division." I heard my voice begin. Then I took a step forward until I could smell the rancid odor radiating from his breath.

"And I command you to stop your inappropriate behavior or else." The tone of my voice rattled my insides.

There was a silence that befell between us. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears. Umesada's face changed from cocky to sour.

His hand moved to his own sword hanging by his waist.

"Then show me. It will be a good learning experience for the new recruits." He took out his sword and pointed it at my chest. The other recruits looked on with an intense gaze.

"Fine, if that's really what you want..." I said. Shinigami were not allowed to take out their swords against another It was punishable. But since we were in a practice area...

He lunged towards me. I stepped to the side confused as to why he would attack me dead on. Umesada struggled to keep himself from falling as he tripped over his feet from the force.

He cursed under his breath. Then he lunged back towards me his sword raised above his head. It came down almost as if in slow motion. I parried to the side and stepped on the blade of the sword trapping it underneath my feet. He grunted as he struggled to release the sword from the ground.

I kicked the sword away and it landed a ways from the field then I landed a kick, one as softly as I could, on his stomach. He fell onto the wall of the building and fell to the floor clutching his stomach in his hands. There was crater like impact left from the impact.

Instantly, I felt my mouth forming the words "I'm sorry," as a pang of guilt ran through my body. I ran over to the man.

"Um, I think you lost so…next time, be a little nicer and...Don't let me catch you acting mean."

I exhaled.

"Sorry for your injuries." I added. Umesada seemed unable to speak due to pain or shock. I turned to the girl staring at her former leader silently crying in pain.

"Sorry again, for the interruption. Um, continue with your training." I bowed then left hurriedly.

I had done the right thing hadn't I, I wondered. After the Toshimori incident all I could do walk along a less populated area of the ninth division. A part of me felt terrified for an unknown reason but another part of me felt proud of myself.

"Ayame!" Matsumoto strutted casually across the pathway with her light blue eye set ablaze.

I laughed nervously and waved. Rangiku always seemed to pop up at the most random times.

"Rangiku?" I asked quizzically once she was close enough to hear.

"Don't get cute with me. Where were you last night?" She placed a hand on her hip and pursed her lips together.

"Where was I?" I repeated dumbly.

She crossed her arms making her chest even more pronounced than before. She wore a doubtful expression as she examined me closely. I felt like prey.

"I mean what happened to you after the fireworks? I thought you and Kira were having a nice time until he came back without you."

"Oh," Was all I could say. But how could I explain? The idea of telling her the truth quickly not became an option.

The blonde haired woman merely shook her head.

"I spent the whole night looking for you."

"Really?" I asked guiltily.

"Well, actually no, I made Kira look for you, but I was still worried. I know how easily you get lost."

"Some drunken man could have raped you." She said over dramatically and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Matsumoto, not so loud!" I looked around to see if anyone had heard.

"And I just...went home." She looked in my eyes. I swallowed under the intensity of her calculating gaze. At first glance Matsumoto may not appear as keen as she acts. In reality, I feel like she knows a lot more than she let's on.

"Is that right?" It wasn't a question but more of a challenge that I was not willing to defend.

My eyes darted to and fro from her unusually icy ones stare.

"Yeah, I was tired so I decided to just go home...by myself...with no one else." Her questioning gaze did not change.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in a meeting right now." I asked in an effort to change the subject.

"You mean those Lieutenant meetings? Pff, I never go to those."

"But it sounded pretty important…" She waved it off.

"I'll just get the meeting notes from Hisagi. Besides they'll be done by the time I get there."

That would mean that Hisagi would be out of the meeting soon.

"What Lieutenant duties do you even perform Rangiku?"

"I do stuff." She defended herself. "Just when I feel like it though..." She pouted playfully before smiling deviously at me.

She pounced on me and grabbed my arm.

"Let's get something to drink."

"But it's the middle of the day, and I can't leave or do anything until Hisagi gets back."

Her grip loosened on my arm and I brought it back to my side.

She smirked.

"You know, you've been really enthusiastic about working around the ninth division lately." She said knowingly.

"Something tells me there's someone here-"

"N-No! There isn't anyone I like here. I'm just like the atmosphere is all."

"Don't think I don't know about you and your nighttime lover." She placed a pointed finger on my forehead and traced a heart on it.

"Nighttime lover!"

"I didn't believe it before but now I'm starting to get suspicious."

She tapped her finger on her bottom lip.

"Suspicious of what" I asked anxiously. She giggled in her hand, content with the fact that she had me flustered.

"I heard from a source that you had left with a guy."

"I-"

"Who wasn't Kira."

"I can explain..." I waved my hands through the air hysterically.

"Ms. Sato." A shinigami bowed to Lieutenant Matsumoto before kneeling in front of me. I looked away from Rangiku and looked down at him. I really needed to get used to this 'kneeling' thing.

"The Lieutenant needs your assistance."

My stomach lurched at the sound of his name.

"Oh,"

I looked at Rangiku, immediately thankful that there was a form of escape.

"I'm sorry Rangiku, maybe we'll about this talk later." But hopefully never. I bowed apologetically, holding my hands together over my head before flash stepping away.

Rangiku stood behind watching me and rubbing her chin as she did so.

My upset nerves were attacking my insides again. I could not help but feel a little nervous for reasons I could not describe. The entire time while we were heading to the Lieutenant all I could think about was what he wanted to do after he finished his meeting. I worried over what the subject of our conversation would revolve around. Last night possibly?

If so, what did he plan on saying?

We passed a series of doors before entering two large doors at the end of the hall.

"What's going on?" I finally asked.

"You'll see." He said without turning around. He walked up to the doors and pushed them wide open.

I gazed in awe at the hectic scene before me.

There were desks everywhere and stacks of paper lined up on shelves and all surfaces.

"Excuse me." A stack of papers carried by a hustling shinigami cried.

I quickly moved out of the way unwilling to become an adverse fatality.

"Where are we?"

"This is the Seireitei Communications building."

Unfortunately, I only got a hasty glimpse of the scene because I was rushed past this room into another room down the hall. The shinigami officer opened the door, allowing me to enter.

"If you don't mind working in the editor's room, the Lieutenant will be here shortly."

"Working..."

His lip twitched a little in an irritated manner.

"There are submissions that need to be edited before they get published." He motioned to a stack of papers lying across the desk.

"B-But I-" He closed the door behind me.

"…am not an editor."

Of course I liked to write often but that was in my own personal diary. Silly rules like grammar and syntax did not exist when I was in my secure imaginary world with my journal.

While sorting through some of the submissions I had found a number of interesting stories from different shinigami officers. Who would have known that Captain Byakuya was into nature? Or that Hisagi played guitar?

I wondered what I would write about if I had a section of my own. I would probably write about trivial things like clouds, and stars and cherry blossoms. Things that people may take for granted. It would be called: "Take Time to Smell the Roses" or something along those lines and perhaps more creative. I would go under a pseudonym like Luna and-

I heard the door open and I looked up. Hisagi stood in the doorway holding a small basket. Immediately I got up from the seat at the desk stubbing my toe on the desk leg in the process.

"Ouch." I hissed.

"I hope I didn't alarm you." He asked apprehensively.

I held up my arm to signal that I was okay even though my twisted facial expression said otherwise.

He walked over towards me and placed the basket on the desk.

Then he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You need to be more careful. You're always hurting yourself." The dark haired man said in a lighthearted manner and smiled.

I nodded and embarrassedly shuffled to the side of him.

"Oh, uh, I was j-just checking these," I motioned to the papers on the desk.

"I wasn't sure what to do though…" Hisagi looked at the papers on the desk with minor contempt.

"You've already finished more than half it looks like,"

I nodded.

"You're always doing more than you need to." He said regretfully.

"I really don't mind! I…I like helping you,"

"-With the division I mean. I mean, I like helping you too, well, uh…"

"I thought you might be hungry so I brought you something."

He took out a small bowl and placed it in my hand. Then he took one out for himself and sat across from me on the floor. I mimicked his action and settled on the floor.

"You don't have to eat it though if it tastes bad."

"Ah," I blushed.

I blushed.

He made lunch for me? How thoughtful.

I held the bowl in my hands, unwilling to mess up the neatly assorted noodles and vegetables. The smell radiating off the rice and noodles made my mouth water.

"Thank you," I bowed.

He smiled, happy that I was satisfied with the meal.

I fiddled with some chopsticks in my hands.

"And th-thank you again for last night."

He stopped eating and placed his bowl neatly in front of him.

"Ah, I enjoyed it. The fireworks were impressive."

"I'm glad that I could come." The Lieutenant lamented.

I smiled but tried to hide it with my arm sleeve.

I fiddled with the chopsticks again unconsciously poking through the meal and chunks of meat all the while surveying his vague facial expression. What could he be thinking, I questioned.

He breathed in deeply as if something was troubling him.

His eyes trailed off and his eyebrows contorted in a thoughtful manner.

"Listen," His serious tone commanded my attention.

"I really did enjoy your company." He shifted on the floor.

My ears burned hot. I was not able to understand why he was being so nice.

"But, I feel like I bore you…sometimes I can't think of anything to say…" My hushed voice trailed off. It was moments like this in which I wished I could hide behind my bangs.

He frowned.

"Sometimes, just being there and listening is enough."

I moved the carrots in my bowl to one side.

"My cap- an old teacher of mine once told me that 'silence speaks the loudest'."

He glanced at my face.

"You're an interesting person Ayame." He added thoughtfully.

Interesting was a go-to word that I used to describe something that I did not necessarily like. Like Matsumoto's mayo dishes, for instance or Captain Shunsui's specific wines.

"Ah,"

A vegetable slice flipped out of my chopsticks' grasp and landed in between us on the floor. I coughed out a nervous laugh.

"S-sorry, I'll get it."

"No, I can get it."

Both our hands reached for the carrot slice on the floor, mine reaching it before his landed on mine. While leaning in to pick it up our foreheads bumped into each other.

"Ow," I whined.

He breathed. His warm large hand entirely covered my own. I trembled at the heavy thing.

We were just close enough that I could feel the slight heat exuding from his breath. It hit the top of my forehead and added to the heat bubbling up in my face. I stared at the black choker surrounding his neck.

There was a rattle at the door.

"Ah, sorry." His voice quavered. He drew back quickly removing his hand from mine.

The door slid open revealing a strawberry blonde haired woman and a blonde haired man stumbling in behind her.

The two Lieutenants entered the room with two sake bottles clinking in their hands. Tailing after them were Ikkaku and Yumichika identified by their usual bickering.

I gaped at them in disbelief. Lieutenant Hisagi looked equally astonished at the sudden intrusion.

Rangiku leaned against the desk swirling around the dark grey clay jar in her hand. She wore a bubbly expression and gazed at me with glossy baby blue eyes.

"Ayame? What are you doing here?" Rangiku inquired playfully as if just realizing my existence.

What do you mean what am I doing here? I just talked to you a few hours ago, I thought.

I simply stared at her slouching yet still beautiful form.

"What's…going on?" Hisagi finally asked.

She stumbled in and plopped a seat next to him using his shoulder for support. Then she slammed the two sake jugs on the in front of us, paying no heed to the completed documents that lay across the floor.

"Obviously we're drinking sillies."

Oh, now we were the silly ones.

"Yeah," Kira agreed.

"We thought that you guys might want a break…"

He looked at Rangiku cautiously. Kira own words seem to muddle together slightly to the point where I wondered if he had taken part in some afternoon drinking already too.

"Well, actually Ayame and I were…"

Rangiku slung her arm over Hisagi's shoulder and gave him a sly smile.

"Come on, what you guys were doing couldn't be that important." She began to pour Hisagi a drink into a cup that was not there.

"Unless we were interrupting something…" She lifted her eyebrows at me suggestively.

I blushed and looked at my knees. Whether or not, it was a playful look or a truly accusatory look, I could not decide.

"We weren't-"Hisagi began.

"Good," She said cheerfully. Then she patted Hisagi on the back.

"Then let's get this party started shall we?" She lifted the entire jug in the air and was joined by Kira, Ikkaku, and Yumichika.

All I could do was slump in my seat and as watch as another night of drinking began to unfold.

…Why me?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Once again Sorry for such the long wait. Getting ready for college has got me so stressed out over the last few months. I'm so scared! (Kind of…)

Make sure to check in for the next chapter. Clue: Everyone gets drunk! (And when I mean everyone…I mean EVERYONE(maybe)) We all know that Alcohol + secrets that wish to be held are never a good mix~~~~

Oh and feel free to tell me how you liked the chapter! Or how you didn't like it...


	16. Page 15

Author's Note: I know it's been years since I last updated (I'm truly sorry). Here is the next chapter. Next time won't be such a long wait since I'm done with school and all the annoying college stuff involved with it.

* * *

"Are you going to eat that?"

Matsumoto took a seat across from me, using Hisagi's shoulder as a means of support.

She reached over at my finely crafted homemade meal and helped herself to some of the lobster rolls in my bento box.

"These are my favorite." She stated gleefully as she plopped one into her mouth. I stared at her dumbly unable to register her sudden presence. My hands rested limply in my lap like flaccid udon noodles. It was almost as if I was expecting something like this to happen, someone or something to interrupt whenever a fuzzy feeling spurned inside me on occasion.

Kira entered the room in a rather uplifted manner with a bickering Yumichika and Ikkaku following behind him. A bandage was wrapped around his forehead, which made me wonder if Rangiku may have had anything to do with the injury.

Kira slapped Hisagi on the shoulder in a brotherly manner before taking a seat next to me and shooting me a timid smile. The slight scent of alcohol wafted through the air as he sat down.

The beautifully accessorized Yumichika brought a bottle of more sake and placed it on the table. Ikkaku followed behind looking annoyed after Yumichika ended their argument. The eleventh division member readjusted his dark magenta colored yukata around his waist.

Patting my head, the well-groomed dark haired man formed a gleaming smile with his pursed lips.

"Ah, Ayame, good to see you weren't attacked the other night contrary belief to popular belief." He looked at Rangiku out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, um, well-thank you?" A pang of guilt arose in the pit of my stomach as I recalled previous event. It was as if I had entered another dimension last night where anything before or after the fireworks no longer held any importance. I looked quickly at Hisagi to see if he would say anything. He merely scratched his head in confusion, his attention focused on a laughing Rangiku beside him.

"We were quite worried about you, weren't we Ikkaku?"

He smiled at me in a way that I was unable to take his comment seriously.

Ikkaku snorted without looking at Yumichika's fox like face. The baldhead man's eyes were closed as if he were in deep concentration or merely annoyed with Yumichika's jesting.

"Just shut up and pour me something to drink." He growled.

"Someone must have forgotten to get their beauty sleep."

Yumichika retorted under his breath. He pushed the bottle slightly in Ikkaku's direction then glanced at me again.

Is this another one of those inside jokes, I wondered.

"Why are you all here?" Hisagi finally asked. His voice was restrained, as if he did not want to come off as rude or confronting. His eyebrows were raised but he did not appear angry. There was a bit of anxiety in his voice though. His eyes darted across the room resting on Kira's withering green half lidded eyes. They exchanged a quick fleeting look. The blonde-haired shinigami laughed nervously, his flaxen colored bang falling over his left eye and his slightly flushed slender face.

"S-sorry for dropping by all of a sudden, Rangiku just thought you guys might want a break or-"

"Don't apologize Kira." Matsumoto waved him off casually.

She ruffled Hisagi's dark black scruffy hair with her hands playfully. Then she, as graceful and as classy as a slightly drunk person can be, took a sip from the sake bottle by her side.

She shrugged as if it were no big deal. Surprise drinking parties must be the norm for her. Which they were. I have been dragged to a number of party escapades, just never any hosted in the ninth division. In addition, none that Hisagi himself had attended.

"Since you guys are always too busy to go out we decided to bring the party to you," She added, winking at me.

"Well, it actually wasn't my…" Izuru voice veered off after receiving a glare from Rangiku.

I wanted to mouth 'why?' to Rangiku but I merely sat back quietly, curious as to what Lieutenant Hisagi would say. The Ninth division Lieutenant simply nodded, not at all the reaction that I thought I would see but definitely a predictable response.

"I really appreciate you guys coming here to celebrate but… do you think it's such a good idea to drink in the office?" He inquired. The blonde woman grabbed his forearm and gave him her signature pouty stare.

"We're just going to drink a little bit. Besides, Captain Hitsugaya kicked us out of his office." She faux whined.

Matsumoto held her forefinger and thumb an inch apart in front of his face to illustrate how little she planned on drinking. Like I would believe that. Yumichika crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

"Maybe if you weren't so goddamn loud..." He huffed.

Hisagi's face remained unwilling.

"It's just, that we were kind of busy..." His voice trailed off as he mentioned what we were doing with the Newspaper. I blushed at the fact that was why he was not partial to holding the party at this time. She pushed herself against his bare shoulder unknowingly smothering his arm that she was clasping tightly between her breasts. Matsumoto's crystal eyes glinted in my direction and she made a silent oh sound.

"Ayame, you sure you guys are too busy? I did not mean to interrupt something important. " She emphasized the last word and I averted my gaze from her own.

"Y-You weren't interrupting anything, really. I mean, uh, I don't mind you guys." I blurted out trying to say it with as much humor as I could.

Then I looked at Hisagi. He reallocated his arm from the depths of Matsumoto's melons.

"I mean, if you don't mind," I mumbled embarrassedly.

Hisagi shifted in his seat restlessly and looked at the ceiling above him. Then his gaze rested on me questioningly.

We really were not doing anything, right? At least, I do not think we were. It was just a lunch. He did get close to me but for all I know that could have just been a part of my imagination. However, I wish…

"That's perfect then we'll just make ourselves at home." Matsumoto clasped her hands together triumphantly.

My heart dropped a small number of feet. The feeling inside my chest was similar to disappointment. Nevertheless, why should I feel disappointed? I should have been happy that my friend Rangiku was here with me.

I never do well in party environments. My words always jumble together and my phrases always come out wrong. When I am alone with Hisagi, I feel anxious and a bit nervous but he never judges me when I say something stupid.

I still wish I could be social like Rangiku. Sometimes I make Hisagi laugh but it is only when make mistakes or trip over things.

She never ceases to make people laugh with her funny stories and witty humor. She is like a bright and shining lamp that illuminates everything its light touches. Even Hisagi cannot help but to hang on to each word she says with genuine interest.

It is strange seeing them interact like long time friends. Yumichika had implied that something had gone on between them a while ago.

How easily could possible pastime, dare I say it, lovers act so friendly around each other. Hisagi seemed to laugh at many of Rangiku's jokes while Rangiku seemed just as confident with him as with anyone else taking time to laugh at his 'jokes' when she happened to be paying attention to him. Yet Rangiku was confident with everyone.

Over time and under the influence of alcohol, Hisagi began loosening up immensely from his usual outwardly rigid appearance.

I watched their somewhat apprehensive exchange back and forth while the faint voice of Ayasegawa fluttered in the background. He may have been talking to me but my attention was concentrated on Hisagi and Matsumoto as I pathetically tried to keep up with their conversation. Sometimes trying to make small talk was torture.

If only I could chat like Matsumoto. All I can do is just sit on the outskirts wishing I had something as half as interesting as what Matsumoto had to say.

As the daylight waned on and eventually ended I receded to my usual quiet self long ago having given up on conversation. I lit a candle and placed it in the corner of the room before returning to my seat.

My emotions were convoluted. I could never truly be angry with Rangiku. She has always been kind to me. In addition, I was a bit rude to her earlier today. Nevertheless, there was still this poison resonating inside the pits of my abdomen. Was I jealous?

I stared at the alcoholic liquid sloshing around in my cup that Yumichika had handed me earlier on in the night. Since joining this group, I had been accustomed to simply holding a cup of alcohol in my hand like a mandatory accessory.

"Hey Ayame, you haven't touched your drink."

Rangiku laughed for some reason. I looked up to see that she was addressing me.

She laid her elbow on the table and placed her chin on her open upturned palm. Her peachy blonde hair spilled over her shoulders in wispy curls and her exposed breasts. She stared at me through her cat like eyes. They glittered with a hint of mischief and glistened under the soft glow of a candle.

"Well?" I grasped the cup in my hand. Everyone's stares minus Yumichika and Ikkaku who were involved in another intense conversation, zoned in on me. I lifted myself up on one hand and looked at Rangiku as she poured herself another cup to the brim. Most of the drink was poured onto the floor before Rangiku looked at it and laughed.

Hisagi placed his hand on his temple and rubbed it slowly.

I searched within myself to find the words to speak.

"Uh, well, you know I don't really drink…"

"Psh. Don't give me that. Live a little."

Hisagi looked at me. His face was a bit pink due to the effects of the drinks Rangiku had coerced him into drinking yet his gaze remained steady compared to his other companions including Kira who was unconsciously steadying himself against my shoulder.

"Uh, I well," I said weakly. I stared at the cup long and hard then something began to stir within my stomach. I was reminded of a 'tip' Rangiku had told me about how drinking would make me less shy. I did not believe her then and I kind of did not believe her now. But...

"Come on, or are you afraid of your Lieutenant seeing you have a little fun." She urged. I blushed.

"I'm not..." My hand tensed around the rough texture of the clay cup. It weighed heavily in my hands.

"She doesn't have to Matsu-"

I grasped the cup in my hand and brought to my lips. I am not afraid of having 'fun'.

I hesitated for a second before forcing the hot burning sake down my throat. A rush of tart hot liquid flowed down my throat. It burned my tongue and the odor come up through my nostrils. I restrained myself from throwing it back up again and involuntarily winced. After a fit of coughs, I straightened back out again.

Well, it was not that bad.

I placed the empty cup onto the table beside Rangiku and wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve. Hisagi looked at me with raised eyebrows. Matsumoto, Kira, Ikkaku and Yumichika shared similar looks of surprise before Rangiku burst out in laughter.

"You're not supposed to drink it so fast."

Kira said in shock as he stared at the empty cup.

I crossed my arms attempting to maintain an air of aloofness, which was ruined slightly by another fit of coughing following. Maybe that had not been the best of impulsive decisions. Rangiku slammed her hand on the floor in front of her trying to tame her giggles.

I flushed when looking at Hisagi but he only looked thoughtful. "Are you okay?" He asked.

The heat began to rise to my nose.

"I didn't think you had it in ya'." Ikkaku said in mock admiration.

"I didn't even think Ayame was old enough to drink." Yumichika teased lightheartedly.

"Hey," I responded playfully.

Then I hiccupped which caused a louder fit of hilarity. Then for no reason at all I began to laugh nervously myself. What was so funny, I wondered.

"So how's it been working with Ayame huh?" Her question came unexpectedly.

I quieted, interested in what he would say.

Rangiku nudged Hisagi's shoulder. She was slumped over the table with the effects of the previous nine bottles taking their toll. She sure was something else. Hisagi's attention was removed from Kira. His reaction was slow and even though his inebriated state did not show in his unwavering eyes, the slight slur in his speech and tone of his voice gave it away. He scratched the back of his head thinking of a reply.

"She's a hard worker, why do you ask?"

Is that all he could say?

"It just seemed like you guys were connecting really well is all. Is that why you chose Ayame as your assistant?"

She shrugged trying to recall the information from her hazy memory.

"Well, it wasn't my decision," He replied humbly.

"I could have sworn you guys knew each other beforehand or something."

I kept silent, watching he exchange between Hisagi and Matsumoto. Why was she interested in this information all of a sudden?

"Yeah, aren't you guys the same age?" Kira piped up.

"I Just," he expanded.

"I just assumed you guys might possibly have been in some of the same classes even though I don't remember you from the academy."

"W-we do have the same birthday but..." I did not want to sound creepy but it was true.

"We've never met before." Hisagi ended my sentence.

"Are you sure? Ayame, when did you graduate from the Academy?" Rangiku immediately entered interrogation mode.

I did not want to say for fear of embarrassment from my fellow shinigami realizing how long it took me to pass. Especially when sitting next to someone who graduated through the ranks within his teen years is your current boss.

"Th-This is silly. Lieutenant Hisagi and I have obviously never met." I tried to laugh nervously. I waved off her questions and mindlessly poured more sake into my cup. Rangiku did not at all seem deterred but she merely shrugged and gulped down another glass of sake.

The truth was is that Hisagi and I had met. However, it does not matter; it is not as if he would remember me anyways.

"Well I hope you've been taking care of my…"

Her mind went blank.

"…Friend here Mister Shuuhei," She said in a joking manner. She patted his back causing him to choke on his drink.

"You know she's afraid of the dark. You can't let her down and let her get hurt like she did." Rangiku grumbled through her alcohol induced state. She reached her hand out and placed her palm against my forehead. Underneath was where the slight discoloration of a small scar was left after the incident with the monster.

Hisagi watched her a bit too solemnly as she motioned towards my head. Hisagi placed his hand on his temple and rubbed it slowly.

The black haired lieutenant did not respond he looked at me.

Rangiku laughed once more. I blushed in humiliation.

If only I had my bangs covering my face again.

"You'll never be a good boyfriend if you can't take care of Ayame. She's fragile." Her voice rose as she heavily petted my hair.

"Aha ha, R-Rangiku, have you had a little too much to drink? Here let me-" I reached clumsily for her bottle but she held it out of my grasp.

What is she saying!

"Come on Ayame you can't hide it anymore. We need to bite this thing by the horns."

"H-Hide what?" She seemed to be mixing up her sayings. Never a good sign. She leaned over the table and grabbed a handful of an unwilling Kira's shirt.

"I think you and Kira would make a great couple! You're both quiet and you're both cute and it would just be cute."

Kira spit up the sake and coughed wildly.

I looked around to see if anyone else was noticing Rangiku's increasingly wild behavior. While being boisterous was normal for her, I would rather have her calm down before she releases any other information I did not want getting out.

Hisagi was either to inebriated to notice Rangiku and or had lost all interest in the party. Thank god. His attention was focused on the window leading outside even though much could not be seen due to the lack of daylight.

Kira was a lot jollier when he was drunk and simply laughed, albeit nervously, at Rangiku's suggestion.

"Come on, Ayame you're not getting any younger." She crawled next to me.

"Could we have this girl talk about my impending loneliness some other time?" I whispered pleadingly in her ear.

"What about you Ikkaku?"

"You're drunk out of your mind woman. Stop being foolish." He said tartly.

Suddenly, Hisagi pushed himself up from the chair unsteadily and made his way to the door. Everyone else seemed too occupied to notice the abrupt departure except for Kira who called out after him.

He stood rubbing his eyes as he did so and stepped over the past out body of Ikkaku. Then he placed his hand on the pane of the door.

"W-wait, Lieutenant." I called his name but he did not seem to hear me. Was he sick? He had been acting a bit strangely since everyone else came.

Yumichika giggled into his hand before falling face first onto the tabletop. His passing out distracted Rangiku only briefly so I took advantage of the moment to wiggle free from her hands.

"Wuss," Ikkaku breathed under his breath before falling out himself.

"You guys can't already be done."

She pouted. The passed out bodies only mumbled in response.

She grabbed my shoulders and slowly exposed my shoulder blade pulling down my uniform.

"Ah, stop it Rangiku." I shoved her away maybe a bit harder than I wanted to. She fell back into Kira's crotch stunned by the unexpected force. Kira reacted with a pained howl.

"S-sorry." I hiccupped. I instantly felt regret upon seeing Rangiku's face. A flash of confusion and then slight hurt rested across her rosy face before she scratched her head and reached for another sake bottle.

I could not find the right balance to get off my butt. Maybe having a drink had not been such a good idea.

The frustration began to settle when the clarity of the situation began to muddle. A fuzzy feeling overtook my brain and I could feel the involuntary slowness of my movements.

I crawled over to Rangiku and placed my hand over the cup she was attempting to pour sake in.

"Enough." My word rang clearly. It cut through the air and held all my previous emotions with it.

Rangiku opened her mouth as if to speak. I stared into her cerulean blue eyes until I had to turn away.

The room radiated with the scent of alcohol and sweat. It was time that this party ended.

"W-well ah," I placed a hand on my head to try to calm the haziness settling in my brain.

"I have to go." I pointed in Hisagi's general direction.

Shuuhei was already halfway down the hallway.

I ran out after him looking back at Rangiku.

"Are you leaving me alone?" Her words were slurred but they seemed to lack the jolly cheerful tone of earlier. Her vision focused beyond me. She only fell on her back with her cherry blonde locks surrounding her face like a halo.

I was torn with the decision to stay with Rangiku or to go see if Hisagi was okay. For a second my frustrations and embarrassment from before had faded away as I looked at her glazed over bloodshot stare. She held an empty sake bottle to her chest and closed her eyes.

My throat was dry and I tried to think of something to say but once again, I was at a loss for words. Therefore, I turned and left the room.

The ground below me seemed to move causing me to trip up every so step. My temporary Lieutenant had not made it very far. When I found him, he was leaning against a wall outside of the building. My vision was clear enough that I could see Hisagi slumped over with his back against the wall and his head in his hands.

I moved to what I thought was jogging speed but I felt a bit sluggish.

His hand covered his face and I could see his shoulders slowly moving up and down to indicate that he was breathing. A dark shadow enveloped his entire countenance.

I stood there tugging on the sleeve of my uniform, unsure of what to do.

"Lieutenant?" My voice called out through the midnight air.

He did not answer.

I swallowed.

"Hisagi?"

He looked over at me. His eyes were glossy and he breathed in short laborious intervals.

Then he peered at my face.

"Kira?" He asked.

Then he shook his head. His face was a blotchy and pink.

"Ayame." He said uncertainly.

"Why are you out here so late?" He slurred.

He finally asked. I kneeled beside him looking at his face shyly.

"A-are you okay? I mean, you kind of looked sick and…" I mumbled.

He looked down at his hands surprised that they were there.

"I-I'm fine. I will be fine. I just need some time-" He tried to assure me. His hand was rubbing his face.

His voice was a bit gravely, a sign too much alcohol probably. Quite often people get dehydrated, which is never a good thing. But I could not see Hisagi as the type to drink more than he could handle. There must be something else going on.

I grabbed his arm and lifted his heavy body to his feet. He leant on me and I had to balance myself against the wall just to support both of us.

"I'll help you to your room." We began to walk but then he stopped.

"B-but Rangiku and every one." He rubbed his forehead once more.

"Hm?"

He rubbed his cheek and looked down at me.

"She...ah," It was impossible to tell how sober Hisagi was now. Even though he seemed a bit confused, his sentences were not completely unintelligible.

He looked around hesitantly using my shoulder as support.

"You don't-ah, my office is closer."

I nodded trying to block out the smell of sake coming from Hisagi's mouth.

Every so often, I would stop to allow Hisagi to catch his bearings. He was much taller than I was, my head only reaching underneath his armpit.

The sound of casual chatter sounded off in the distance so I increased my pace until I reached the building of Captain's office.

"I'm sorry." Hisagi confessed.

"What?"

"I can't ever do what- why can't I be like," He mumbled the choppy sentences under his warm breath. It tickled my cheek and forced me to focus on other things.

Was he talking to himself?

"We're almost there." I urged.

I approached the door and pushed it open.

Then I heard him do something that resembled a short laugh. I looked up at his face but his hands covered it again.

"I don't belong here," He uttered gravely through his fingers.

I stood there, waiting, unable to register what he was saying. I was aware that people said many crazy things when drunk so I tried my best to overlook it.

He cursed under his breath.

Hesitantly, I closed the door behind me and led him by the arm to the couch on the other side of the room. Once we reached the couch, he grabbed my arm forcing me to look up at him.

His eyes, dark as the sumi ink used for calligraphy, soberly bore into my own.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled under his breath.

He raised his hand to my forehead where my cut had been. He stared at it for a long time. His face looked considerably more haggard and exhausted than I realized.

"Why are you always here?" He whispered under his breath. I could not say anything. The drunken haze and the fumes of his breath and closeness of his body leaning against my own made it impossible to form coherent thoughts. His hand traveled down my face catching a loose strand of hair. He watched the gossamer strands slide through his hands with indifference.

Then he pulled his hand away wrapping it around my body. His face became pained and he pulled me closer to him.

"Ah, Hi-Hi-Hi-Hisagi!"

"I'm sorry." He mumbled into my hair. Then his weight began to crash down on mine and we fell onto the floor.

His body felt like stone pinning me to the ground with his arm still wrapped around my waist. His face was next to mine, almost close enough to be nestled in my neck, and he stared blankly at me through half lidded eyes.

His eyes slowly closed before he whispered something else.

"Ayame, please don't…" His slurred voice trailed off. I lay there for a second, staring at his face and paying close attention to the contours if his three scars before turning away. My heart beat loudly through my chest and I thought it my rupture through my skin.

"Hisagi?"

I tried to push off his ironclad grasp around my torso. He was a lot heavier than I imagined.

"Hisagi?" I called out again. The sound of snoring replaced the soft sound of breathing.

He must have passed out all of a sudden.

He nuzzled deeper into neck, his nose rubbing against my thin skin and my entire body trembled.

What if someone saw us like this? It felt like cold air struck through my heart and the fear of being caught in an awkward situation brought my mind to its senses.

I shook my head. I needed to stay focused or I would end up passing out too.

His chest was crushing down on my lungs, which made it difficult to breathe. I wiggled a little but to no avail. Then I took a long arduous breath.

_Of course, YOU would get yourself caught up in a situation like this._

"Curses,"

* * *

So tell me what you guys think! hope my writing hasn't gotten too shabby since the last couple of months.


	17. Page 16

**Author's note:** Here is the next chapter. I am also happy to announce that this fiction has reached its 50th review! (Yay) I really appreciate the people who have gone out of their way to say how they feel. This was the first fanfiction I ever had enough confidence to write. What I have learned so far is that it is much easier to write when you are not worrying about the opinions of others. When you write for your own enjoyment, writing becomes a much more fun experience. When writing is uninhibited by fear of rejection, it becomes a lot easier to do. And that was my little sermon for the day~

* * *

**(Hisagi's Pov)**

The streets of Rukongai were empty. This however, did not alarm me for some reason. I knocked softly on the patched up thatch door. The familiar texture of its wooden frame calmed my unwarranted nerves.

The door creaked open to reveal the frail build of my own mother standing in front of me. She wrung her hands anxiously, as she is keen to do, and took my large hand within hers calloused ones.

Her dark grey eyes glowed warmly as she led me into the small house from my childhood.

"You're late. She'll be leaving us soon." She said softly.

I opened my mouth to ask whom she was speaking of but the sound of laughter and shrieking interrupted my thoughts. My younger brothers and sisters stormed into the house from the back door. They crowded around my knees, grabbing at my shinigami uniform with their muddy hands. I smiled as I looked down at each of their flushed faces. Before I knew it, they were guiding me into my mother's bedroom.

It was small and dimly lit. The first thing I noticed was the outline of a diminutive body wrapped in a blanket. Next to the futon kneeled a familiar man, draped in a white captain's haori. He held the person's slender hand, which lie flaccid and pale against his own russet colored hand.

"Go," My mother whispered without delay.

I obediently approached the futon placed in the middle of the room. The length of the walk seemed to increase and I inhaled sharply. The man rose slowly from his spot, his shades faintly reflecting the glimmer of the candle placed in the corner of the bedroom. His braids, which are usually kept in a neat ponytail, fell in front of his face. I wavered and he took the time to readjust his signature orange scarf around his neck.

"Why are you here?" I heard myself say indignantly.

"You're too late, Lieutenant. Seems like you've lost your drive." He said in his usual apathetic manner, ignoring my question. The way he spoke conveyed the impression that it was only yesterday we were discussing current issues over tea. I kneeled next to the futon feeling a pulling force radiating from the body covered in the blanket. I shot a glance back at the tall man before I focused my attention on the futon below.

Pulling back the blanket hesitantly, I uncovered the pale face of a woman.

I was speechless.

Ayame?

She turned to me, her face immersed in a web of lavender hair.

Her eyes lacked their typical glitter of exuberance.

"Where were you when I needed you, Hisagi?"

"What do you mean? I'm here."

She shook her head.

"I needed you to be where it feels empty, but you've lost the motivation to…"

"Empty?"

She placed my hand over her chest before closing her eyes.

My vision went dark and my head grew heavy. My wet cheek lay against a hard flat surface.

"Lieutenant?"

I slowly lifted my head from the level surface. Then I looked up at the image slowly coming into focus.

"Lieutenant?" Asked the blur before me.

It was one of my subordinates a young operative with dark brown hair and blue eyes. I peered at him in confusion. He returned an equal look of unease.

What am I doing here?

I brought my hand to my face and looked down to realize my fingers were covered in saliva.

Did I…

The annoying feeling of vaguely remembering an important dream fled my body as I soon became concerned with the dryness in my throat.

The subordinate turned away, obviously in trepidation over my disheveled appearance. It was not every day that you found me napping at my desk. It was actually quite unusual to find me sleeping at all so the shocked expression of the shinigami was completely understandable.

My head started pounding against my cranium. It felt as if someone had taken a stone and felt the need to ram it against my skull repeatedly. I drew myself up from the seat, stubbing my toe on the leg of the desk as I did so. Repressing a groan, I ran my fingers through my hair.

Damnit.

"Late night?"

The shinigami attempted to ask.

I massaged my forehead. He immediately shrunk.

"Is there something that you needed?" I asked.

He blinked.

"No Lieutenant, I just came to deliver this letter and pick up the finished documents. Here."

He fumbled with the paper nestled underneath his arm.

Paperwork?

"Could you remind me…what time it is?" I asked looking at the couch at the far side of the room.

He seemed confused as to why I would ask such a simple question but complied nonetheless.

"It's an hour till noon, Lieutenant. It's Saturday."

Noon! How long had I been up last night, I thought worriedly. I wiped the sweat from my forehead. How much had I drunken? I looked back at the couch and small fragments of memory form last night started to reassemble inside my head. An image of Ayame's disquieted face, Rangiku's playful eyes and a sake-filled party flashed across my brain painfully. No wonder I felt awful. I privately groaned but my face remained indifferent. I could not make it obvious that I was as hung-over as I felt.

"I'm sorry; I think I'll need more time to complete the paperwork for today."

A cleft formed between his eyebrows.

"Excuse me for asking but are you sure you're all right Lieutenant? Miss Sato already turned in all your paperwork from today and yesterday. She had said that you were busy in your office and shouldn't be disturbed until noon."

"Ah, right."

I nodded to myself.

Ayame turned in my paperwork?

Before I became lost in my own thoughts, I released the shinigami from his current duties.

Then I walked back to the desk. My head was killing me and the fact that the details of what had transpired last night were murky did not help either.

I remember Rangiku saying some things, I remember getting angry, and feeling really depressed for some reason. Then I recall being really close to Ayame, possibly to close for what would be onsidered appropriate by shinigami standards. And I may or may not have said some select things to her. Everything was so hazy. Damn.

If being with Ayame was really a dream then how did I end up here? And why would I dream about Ayame in the first place, I contemplated.

I wondered if last night had even happened at all.

Yet, the insistent symptoms from the hangover would say otherwise.

I could only hope it was a dream and I had not ended up saying something that I would regret.

I looked down at the folder on the captain desk. The Bird of Paradise flower insignia was stamped over the surface. Judging by the intricate designs and the rose patterned stationary, someone either had a lot of time on their hands or were just really into flowers.

The Bird of Paradise flower was the official insignia of the tenth division. I assumed it was Lieutenant Ise checking up on Ayame again so I decided to leave it for later.

My desk was rather neat. Not that it was always dirty; it was just not nearly as neat as it was now. The word that I would use to describe it was a state of occasional disarray. It was difficult to tidy up when your mind was concerned with the security and safety of Seireitei and managing an entire division on your own.

Spending more time than needed in the office of my former Captain was not a pleasurable experience either.

I imagined Ayame's insipid fingers fumbling with the papers on the Captain's desk as she reviewed each sheet with careful consideration, as she is privy to do. A painful lump formed in my throat, which could have been due to dehydration or guilt. It would be a good idea to visit her, at least thank her for her help and maybe even…apologize for last night, I pondered.

_You're just looking for an excuse to go see her. _

"No, I'm not." I found myself muttering almost defensively. I placed my hand on the desk and lightly traced the scar over my eyebrow.

I ignored the voice resonating from my zanpakuto.

There was no further response besides 'hm', as if my response amused him. I looked outside the window of the office and watched as a pair of shinigami scuffled to their destination. It reminded me of a previous engagement.

She would have to wait until after Saturday practice.

* * *

(Ayame's Pov)

_Dear diary, I don't really know what to write in you. I feel like I never talk to you anymore. And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is that I'm confused (about Hisagi that is). At first, I couldn't imagine ever meeting Hisagi, let alone working for him. But after getting to know him and laboring beside him, I understood it would be just too difficult to make myself suffer with these unrequited feelings. I couldn't live like that. Not every single day. It's almost like he is teasing me without realizing it. It just bites me up inside that he doesn't know how he makes me feel. Not that it will matter now, after getting this letter from Lieutenant Ise everything might change._

I ended the page and folded the corner of the notebook, unwilling to think about the letter any longer. I had neither the energy nor the motivation to continue.

I was sitting behind a tall wall. Its length blocked the daylight and provided me with shade. I stretched my legs out and felt the grass beneath my fingers. My notebook lay between my legs in a resting position.

I exhaled the fresh air, which tasted oddly bitter today.

Some may have thought I was trying to hide away sitting behind some wall though this was not the case, entirely. I was simply recuperating from last night.

After leaving the party to check up on Hisagi, I was told many things. He told me 'not to leave', amongst other various broken phrases. Then he... fell asleep on me. After a while of struggling, I was able to maneuver him off me. Then I dragged his body to his desk. It was the least I could do since I did not have the strength to carry him all the way to his room. Not that I knew where his room was…

I blushed at the thought of the memory.

I had never been so close to a male body like that before. It filled me with mock excitement, even when I was a bit ashamed to admit it.

I picked up my notebook and secured it into the fold of my sash. Then I got up from my seat and wiped a few rebellious strands of hair out of my face. My hair was gathered into a messy lopsided bun. Despite how hard I was trying to ignore its presence the feeling of the envelope burned at my side. I closed my eyes and took out the letter again, running my finger over its official seal of death.

Truthfully, what I was actually worrying about was conversing with him about the contents of this letter.

When I had received it earlier, I had thought it to be a prank. Lieutenant Ise rarely sent me any letters, not that I was hurt by her lack of correspondence. She was a busy woman after all.

It was an official letter of resignation from my current post. It asked me to terminate my temporary assignment to the ninth division and return to the eighth division to continue my duties as the fourth seat.

Why such the sudden need to transfer, I wondered. The way the letter was written made it impossible to discern the level of urgency. However, not even a description was printed.

I speculated on whether Hisagi knew about this.

Since receiving this letter earlier this morning, I had gone out of my way to try to avoid Lieutenant Hisagi. It was not the best of ideas because eventually I would have to see him. And sooner or later, he would find out that I was called to leave, and sooner or later, we would have to have a conversation about it.

I sighed.

"It was inevitable."

He knew I would have to leave in the end, right? Therefore, this should not be a surprise to him. On the other hand, I felt like I did not accomplish anything. We were never able to find out more information about the mysterious hollow appearances. All I did was get injured and was put into an infirmary. And it was not like I could just show of my wimpy little forehead scar as a battle scar. It was paper cut worthy at best.

"Hah!"

A collection of controlled yells sounded off just beyond the wall.

I wiped my hands and walked to the direction of the voices. Today must be training day. Every so often, I liked to watch them train from a distance. Seeing the ninth squad collectively work so hard somehow raised my own motivation to improve. It was also interesting to compare how the ninth division trained in comparison to my own squad. We actually hardly ever had practice and if so, they always ended in a night of drinking. Unless Lieutenant Ise was present…

I walked near a more wooded area where the training was held. Some buff man tends to lead the practices announcing a series of words like loyalty, honor and justice when executing the exercises. It was anything but tedious. Sometimes it made me feel culpable for not joining them, not that I should be thinking about things like that now.

Now that I was summoned back to my old division, I thought desolately.

I sat on the ledge of a cliff overlooking the clearing where the training was taking place. Low-level trees shaded my face with their leaves like a canopy. I was close enough to make out the forms of the people below but not close enough to be identified as the usual creepy stalker girl who spends her Saturdays out here.

Moreover, I had a way of not being seen anyways.

I looked at the man leading the group of organized trainees. His back, rippled with muscles and adorned with pronounced shoulder blades, faced me.

My breath caught in my throat. I felt like a pervert watching them from afar, but my eyes remained plastered on his fluid quick movements.

He held his zanpakuto out in front of him signaling for everyone else to do the same. Then he brought the sword upwards and back down swiftly. Everyone else followed suit. With each downward strike, the muscles in his body contracted and released sending a current of power through his arms. The rays from the sun struck the sweat rolling down his body making him glisten like moonlight on water.

I took out my notebook and used it to waft cool air to my cheeks.

There was no doubt about it, that was Hisagi leading practice.

I cannot do this. I should just wait until later, I inwardly moaned.

Finally, he stopped and rubbed his forehead.

"That's all for today. Good work and remember to practice while you have free time."

Everyone bowed signaling the end of training for the day.

To my surprise, the Lieutenant turned around and looked in my direction. My posture immediately straightened and I pushed myself up from the ground. Time for my exit, I told myself hurriedly. Without looking in front of me, I fumbled over what felt like a low laying branch.

Curses!

The faint sound of my surname could be heard not too far off. I attempted to crawl from the mass of tree branches and bushes in my way. I felt a tug on my sash and realized I was snagged on a branch.

I tried to reach behind me to unlatch myself from the trap before hearing the sound of feet landing on the ground in front of me.

So much for getting away, I whined silently.

"…Miss Sato?" He said hesitantly.

I edged out from the entrapment of the branches and ripped my sash from the branch. While keeping my eyes steady to the ground I wiped the dirt from my attire.

He seemed a bit taken aback by my appearance but carried on as if this were usual. He has found me in worse looking conditions so I imagined this sight was nothing new.

"I thought I sensed you over here-uh, you've got…some thing in your…" He motioned to his hair and a small smile creeped to his lips. I ran my hand over my tousled ponytail catching a few twigs and leaves on the way. He reached out his hand as if to help me but brought it back timidly to run his hands through his own hair.

How embarrassing.

He averted his gaze to the clearing where practice had been. A large number of people were still continuing with their own sets of practice. I noticed the raven haired man was still shirtless and I watched his chest heave slightly from the corner of my eye.

He did not appear to be as sick as he was yesterday which made me believe that some people were better at handling hangovers than others. His breathe did seem a bit labored compared to the amount of work he had done today though.

I blushed as unwanted images began to creep back into my mind.

"I've been looking for you. I even sent someone to get you but I assumed you were busy when you hadn't responded." He was direct to the point despite his hesitance in speech.

"Oh," Think of a plausible excuse, I screamed in my head.

"Are you okay? I wanted to check on you after…last night." His dark eyebrows gathered at his forehead and shaded the opaque cloud shadowing his eyes. He had the same look in his eyes from last night when Rangiku was talking in her drunken stupor. Tired, dark, and unexplainably gloomy.

I laughed lightly almost emptily.

"I-I'm okay, just got caught in a branch or two." I waved off his concern.

"I wanted to apologize-for last night. It wasn't the best decision to allow Rangiku to host that party. And I may have acted a bit irresponsible too."

He rubbed his forehead tenderly, probably recalling the number of drinks he had.

"Y-y-you don't have to apologize. I told you, I'm okay, really." I squeaked.

The scar underneath his eye crinkled as he searched my face. The blood left my cheeks.

"I'm not sure; I just thought you might be… avoiding me. Like maybe I had said something that upset you last night."

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

He rubbed his bare arms and sighed briefly before continuing.

"I can tell when there's something bothering you, even if you like to keep it to yourself." He said coolly.

I self-consciously fingered the letter inside my sash. In attempt to hide my face I looked away. For some reason I felt exposed and not just because my hair was in a ponytail now.

Maybe I should just be honest, I convinced myself.

"S-sorry Lieutenant, but there is something that I do need to tell you." I said without conviction.

"Should speak somewhere more private?"

He looked around and crossed his arms over his chest.

Please, the more I wait the harder it gets, I cried mentally.

He began walking past me expecting me to follow. I grabbed his arm with both of my hands and he stopped in his tracks.

"I mean-I should tell you now, I think." I swallowed nervously.

He nodded, a look of concern and anticipation swallowing his features.

Now for the letter, but what should I say, I wondered.

Before I could open my mouth again, another shinigami officer appeared beside Hisagi. He was the same size as the lieutenant but a bit lankier. He wore a large straw hat which he tipped with his hand respectfully towards Hisagi and then to me. His face was long and jagged in contrast to his kind eyes and little sideburns. His short black hair fell down in his face in a few select strands.

He smiled at me with a cheesy wide grin before turning back to Lieutenant.

"Sorry Lieutenant Shuuhei, I didn't mean to interrupt you and the Miss," He winked at Hisagi. I instantaneously removed my hands from Hisagi's bare arm and took a step backwards. Hisagi appeared unfazed and even a bit impatient.

"Yes?" Shuuhei asked.

"Oh! Let me introduce myself. My name is Ekichiro Saido, a member of the Stealth Force." He said in a friendly tone before transitioning to a more serious one.

"And I was sent by an officer to relay to you some important information."

Hisagi nodded.

"Can we discuss this tomorrow?" He asked me with a sense of urgency.

But what if there isn't tomorrow, I questioned.

"Sure," I nodded and smiled.

The tattooed man stared at me before following the Stealth Force member to who knows where.

Once again, I was left alone.

"I guess I will see you tomorrow then," I told the trees.

"Before I leave,"

* * *

**So Yep! I had to break this chapter up because it was too long I guess. I a;so wanted to say thank you to people like The Lost Arts who helped me improve in the beginning. They are also a couple others( you know who you are) who help and motivate me too. While there are also some others out there who have not yet alerted or reviewed but I still know you appreciate me on the inside.**


	18. Page 17

Author's Note: Hiyah Guys! It's almost August. Weird that Summer just flies by like that. I'm also thinking about a cover picture for this fanfic but I'm entirely unsure of an image to use.

On an unrelated note: I'm addicted to kpop~~~ OPPPAAA

Five minute EDIT: After realeasing this I just realized this was the same day I started this fanfiction! That makes today the two year anniversary? Anyways...

* * *

I did not have a lot to 'pack'. The only things among my possessions were a notebook, a pencil, undergarments, a kimono and a sakura blossom hairpin that I usually tucked neatly underneath my futon bed. I wrung my hands as I looked at the small stack of objects. Then I looked in my drawers once more to make sure I was not leaving anything substantial behind.

Should an average person have more things than this?

When I had roomed with other shinigami in my younger years, they occasionally would brandish their various keepsakes. It could have been necklaces or heirlooms from their parents. Maybe even promise rings from their boyfriends. I sighed.

It made me feel like I had no one of value to have a memento for.

I held the wooden hairpin I had won at the carnival. Hisagi's words echoed in the back of my mind.

"I like your hair."

I found myself smiling and then I found the memory tearing at my stomach.

Maybe I will not put my hair up today. I put the pin back on top of my notebook. Then I wrapped my clothes and the other two objects within a linen bag and put it over my shoulder.

Then I left the room.

It was not until I found myself walking past the rookie barracks did I hear someone call my name. An instant pang of guilt arose within my conscience as if I had been caught in the middle of a crime. I looked around me.

Then I saw someone run towards me. I stood still bracing myself for his approach. Hisagi probably sent him, I thought. Asking where I was, or why I had left or maybe even if I received a letter this morning...

I sighed preparing a response in my brain.

The shinigami ran past me and to a group of females not too far away. They began their conversation in heightened anticipation as if they were long lost friends.

I felt a bit dense for assuming that he was talking to me. It did feel as if someone was following me though. Maybe it was the paranoia that came along with being a shinigami or maybe it was guilt.

_Why should you feel guilty? This is how the shinigami society works doesn't it?_

This was how the shinigami society worked. People moved and changed positions all the time. It was just a matter of life. Hisagi would understand that.

I felt something sting the bottom of my foot, so I stopped by a nearby tree. A rock had entered my shoe somehow.

Curses.

I leaned against the tree and removed the little rock by throwing it carelessly over my shoulder.

"Ow," A small voice cried quietly behind me.

My eyes widened and I looked behind the tree trunk.

There was a young girl with black hair and brown eyes sitting behind the tree. She rubbed round cheeks which reminded me of chipmunks. Once she saw me observing her suspiciously she instantly straightened her posture as she hastened to stand up. Her brown eyes darted around helplessly.

"I-I uh, um,"

She mumbled unable to find something to say.

Her small childlike face looked familiar. I rubbed my chin.

"Hi?" I said finally.

She swallowed.

"H-Hi! I um, sorry. I was just you know..." She kicked a rock at her feet.

Had she been following me? I thought I had felt a reiatsu similar to hers but it had been so diminutive I had not given it a second thought. I chose not to ask about it in fear she might become more embarrassed.

"Are you busy?" She finally asked.

I looked around.

"No, did you need something?"

She shook her head. Then she went and sat down. Behind her was a picnic basket.

"Are you hungry?" She reddened.

I had already eaten but I nodded anyways and sat down across from here. She smiled timidly.

I could not put my finger on it but she reminded me a lot of someone I knew.

She handed me a bento box and I thanked her. I felt compelled to question her reasons for inviting me out to lunch. Usually people did not just walk around with two pre-made meals.

We sat in quietude for a few minutes until she finally spoke up again.

"T-To tell you the truth Ms. Sato, I was trying to find you." She confessed. Then she put down her bento box in front of her.

"Really?" I responded oblivious to the boiled egg falling out of my mouth.

She nodded keeping her gaze level to the floor.

"I um, just wanted to know how you were doing. You probably don't remember me do you though?"

She looked recognizable. I pondered on her possible place of origin. Then the image of that larger harasser Toshimori came to mind.

"Oh! You were one of those new recruits, I think."

The girl smiled. Then she put down her box.

"I really wanted to say thank you for what you did."

She continued.

"I thought you were really cool back there." She blushed but she forced herself to finish.

"My friends and I think you're really inspiring because we always see you work so hard all the time."

Cool? That was one of the last adjectives that I would think to describe myself.

When she saw my stunned expression she immediately began to apologize.

"I'm sorry I probably sound stupid. At first, I didn't even think you would talk to me. I'm not even a ranking shinigami."

She laughed and looked at a leaf on her basket.

"You don't sound stupid I just- I'd never think of myself as someone to look up to." I said gently.

She looked surprised.

"You're so humble Ms. Ayame." She said.

I looked at her and my lips formed a hard line.

"And you're too nice..."

What was her name?

"You can call me Keiko."

I nodded.

Keiko stared out at the barracks. Her lost stare coerced me to give a few words of advice.

"I was a low ranking shinigami too once. But it shouldn't matter what rank you are. Rank is just a number. What's really important is that you try your best."

It sounded a lot less cheesy when I thought it over in my head.

I pulled my knees to my chest. Keiko stared at me.

"Thanks." She said. The wind blew my bangs out of my face.

"You know, our Lieutenant, I don't think I see him smile as much as he does now."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, he always looks fine but-well not that I have been here for a long time-I heard people say that Hisagi's been kind of depressed since the old Captain...left. Like he's been unmotivated or something."

I nodded.

"But I know he tries really hard to not look like he's sad. That's what other people say."

She looked at me.

"Sorry I probably shouldn't speak about my own Lieutenant like that. You know him better than I do."

No, I don't know him. Not that well.

I hugged my knees to my chest while putting down my empty bento box.

Then I used the ground to push myself up.

I bowed to show my appreciation for the meal.

"Thank you for the food Keiko. I really need to get going though."

She shot up from the floor.

"Oh, did Lieutenant need you to do something? I hope I didn't make you late or anything."

She began to apologize again.

"No! It's not that I just have to leave..." I did not have the capability to inform her that I was permanently leaving the ninth division. I could not bear to see the disappointed faces of more than two people this week.

She held her hand to her chest and nodded.

"Ah, well I'm glad I got to meet you."

She smiled.

"Me too," I waved and she waved back. Then I edged myself back onto the street throwing one final glance back at her.

I continued my walk down the winded pathway.

It was not until a few minutes later I found myself walking alone. The only things to accompany me were my thoughts and my feelings. Two things I direly wished to block out of my head.

I arrived at the entrance of the main gate leading out of the ninth division. I stared at the immense walls. They beckoned and taunted me with responsibilities of the future.

My eyes felt blurry. I reached to wipe my face and stared at the tear on my finger. I had not noticed but my cheek was moist.

How weak, I thought.

I could not believe I was crying.

'You're really inspiring' rang through my mind. Moreover, I seemed to play it repeatedly searching for any ounce of an alternative interpretation, or annotation. I searched for any sense of falseness behind those words any hint of ingenuity.

I had firmly believed that I was unable to inspire even plants to grow. I had always looked for inspiration in the images of people I looked up to. People like Lieutenant Nanao, Captain Byakuya, and...Hisagi. Even if she was one person, the first person even, her sentiment had touched me far more than she had probably intended to.

_So are you just going to bawl your eyes out or will you actually be leaving anytime soon? _

The fragile voice of my zanpakuto, Hikari, rung through my mind.

Just give me a moment, I said mentally.

_Oh no don't mind me, take your time. I wouldn't want to rush you as you run from your problems once again._

There was a bit of biting sarcasm in her comment. She made no effort to hide it either.

I'm not running from my problems, I'm doing what the letter told me to, I reaffirmed. I closed my eyes.

If anyone were unaware that I was actually talking to my zanpakuto, they would believe that I had gone crazy. Having a conversation with yourself in the middle of the day is not a common occurrence.

She did not respond, instead she sat in her seemingly all knowing squalor as I knew she would. I could almost visualize the smug look on her small white doughy face.

What problems could she possibly be referring to? Hisagi?

_..._

I stood there almost dreading the decision I was about to make. My heart shuddered uncomfortably as if warning not to follow through with the feeling rising from the pit of my stomach. I did not want to admit it, but I was running away from a predicament and I needed to confront it or I might never find solace.

I ran towards the captain's office. As I zoomed across the halls barely avoiding a terrible accident with a photocopier and seven containers of ink I was able to make it to his door in one piece. I knocked on the door. Then I placed my ear on the wooden surface.

No answer.

I groaned.

Maybe he isn't here, I thought gravely.

Perhaps I should just leave... I turned to exit the hallway.

_Aw, don't give up now. You tried soooo hard._

It was that darn sarcastic voice in my head again.

Nevertheless, she was right.

A younger shinigami holding a stack of paper made his way towards the office. His eyes lit up when he recognized me.

"Ms. Sato." He lowered the stack of papers out of his face.

I pretended to act surprised.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Oh, well, I was just um,"

"If you're looking for the Lieutenant he left already. I'm not sure when he said he would be back." He looked at my bag hung over my shoulder.

My heart grew heavy.

He smiled and proceeded past me into the Captain's office. I stood outside patiently fiddling with my fingers. Then I opened the door. He stared at me as he placed the documents neatly in a pile on the desk. His eyebrows were raised wondering what other questions I could possibly ask.

"Do you know where he might be?" I asked quietly.

He cracked his knuckles and stared at the painting of the women behind the desk.

"He said that he'd be out in the woods with Captain Komamura."

Could he be anymore vague? There are woods everywhere.

He scratched his head as if trying to recall something.

"Don't take my word for it but I think Captain Komamura and Lieutenant Shuuhei usually visit a shrine not too far off. I don't remember where it's located though."

Shrine?

"Ah, thank you." I said.

He nodded.

Then I left the main office's premises as quickly as possible. I stood outside of its wall and stared out at the sky. The sky was a deep blue today. Deeper than it seemed like it ever has been. If I did not know any better it my seem as if a storm would pass by.

With Captain Komamura, I contemplated. That must be the Captain rumored to look like a dog.

I recalled training with Ikkaku, a memory that invoked a soreness in my left arm, and witnessing Hisagi and his large companion standing on a hill in front of a tribute site.

Was this where he'd occasionally spend his time? Was it worth trekking out there to find out?

While I did not want to journey through the woods seeing as how I had wasted enough time wandering around, I felt an immense need to. If I backed out now I would never have the strength to face him again.

I focused the courage resonating from all points in my body to will my legs to start heading in the direction of where I had spent my time training in the woods. All the while hoping I would not get lost.

...

I looked at the tall looming trees above me. I was lost.

I kicked a small rock lying next to me. It figures that I of all people would get lost when at one point I was so confident in where that hill was. Now I seemed to be just going in circles.

Maybe fate did not want me speaking with Hisagi, I thought jokingly.

A breeze blew through the air. It was cold and unwelcoming and blew a strand of hair in my mouth. I spit it out. The clouds were becoming a lot more thick and heavy than earlier this morning. They were moving North, I could tell.

Therefore, I decided to move north also.

Just before all hope had been lost, I found myself walking upon that hill.

I peered through the trees huffing rather loudly and took the time to catch my breath. I gulped upon seeing the tall lean dark figure of a man with dark spiky hair. He rubbed his triceps standing and stood front of the plaque.

So he was visiting his 'captain' or at least the idea of his captain.

My heart froze over and the sudden urge to hide overcame me.

I could not do this. I was too weak. I could not possibly tell him how I feel.

My breath was shaky and I tried to count to ten in order to calm myself. Hisagi turned around his silent grey eyes connected immediately with mine amongst the trees and bushes. I placed the palm of my hand on the tree next to me. His expression I could not decipher.

He did not look annoyed yet he did not look in high spirits either. He watched as I walked out of the guise of the trees with his usual look of indifference. I watched the ground as I made my way up the hill. My long bangs covered my trembling face.

The scarred man turned back around and crossed his arms over his chest.

Once I arrived at the top of the hill, I merely stared blankly at the back of his shoes.

"H-Hisagi?" I squeaked.

Without turning, he looked back at me over his shoulder. There was something almost dark about his features. He seemed even gloomy.

It scared me.

"Yes?"

His voice was curt.

"I-um, n-needed to tell you something."

He turned to face me. His mouth was set in a hard line. He was still for a moment.

"You mean about your summonance?"

I felt the courage mustered from earlier instantaneously drain out from my body through my fingertips.

I broke off eye contact and focused my concentration on the lieutenant sash tied around his forearm.

"Yes," I acknowledged.

But no. That is not the only reason I came! I screamed in my head. There was something else I wanted to say.

He brought his hands down to his sides and sighed. Then he searched my face with those mature black eyes of his before turning away.

"H-How did you find out?" I asked dumbly.

"I had received the letter earlier. I just did not have the chance to open it until today. That's why I was looking for you this morning." He stated.

"When I saw that your room had been cleared out I thought you were already gone." He said lowly.

My throat felt dry. It made me feel inadequate as Hisagi stood there waiting patiently for a response.

His shoulders dropped and the shadow covering his face lightened. He stepped closer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving if you knew about this? Was this the reason why you were avoiding me yesterday?"

No, no, no.

My face was still. The fear of saying something erroneous kept my mouth sealed shut.

I swallowed. Hisagi stood there eagerly awaiting an answer. I felt small in comparison to him.

I wanted to say something along the lines of 'because I'm not mature like you' or 'you could never understand' but all I could do was whisper.

"W-would it matter?" I asked.

He blinked.

"What?"

I was equally surprised at the words coming out of my mouth too.

I took one shaky breath. I needed to say what I came here to say without crying.

"Would it matter?" I said more definitively.

I looked into his mystified eyes.

Something else different from the courage that was boiling up inside me earlier began to surface.

"What are you talking about Ayame? Of course it matters." He tried to reason with me becoming aware of my shaking disposition.

"But why? Why should it matter to you? Me telling you myself isn't going to change anything."

He lips parted as if to say something in opposition.

I clenched my hands tightly at my sides as a way of keeping myself grounded.

My voice was more aggressive than I wanted it to be but I could not second-guess myself for fear that I may stop and never start again.

"Whether I told you or not I'll still have to leave." I stated.

I took a step back but he merely filled in the vacuum of space.

"Ayame, I would have still liked to have known. There must have been some mistake about the summonance. If I just talk to Captain Shunsui and-"

"But the letter was official. It has his stamp on it." I heard myself say. He bit his lip. Hisagi appeared to be restraining some frustration and I seemed to be the cause. I took a step back again. He reached his arm out and softly grabbed my arm.

"I know that but…I still need you…here to help." His voice sounded restrained.

"To do what Lieutenant? There are plenty of people who can do the same things that I do. It'd be better if I left."

A flash of irritation crossed over his face but it quickly relinquished.

"Why do you keep saying those things when it's not true?"

The trees rusted violently behind me. The familiar warm feeling of pre sobbing began to come upon me. I tried my best to repress it.

Hisagi was too nice to me. There really could not be a reason for him to keep me here.

"Because I-," I what?

"Listen Ayame," He grabbed my other shoulder. Then he sighed.

"There are still a lot of things I need to take care of and with this new threat on Seireitei still I-It'd be hard to do it on my own." He seemed embarrassed to admit that.

"So that's why I didn't want you to leave yet." He confessed.

We were silent. Only the rustling of the leaves made noses behind us. I instantly felt cold.

They way Hisagi looked at me with his hoping eyes and his hospitable arms made me want to turn to stone. It hurt when he received me with kindness knowing that it would be impossible to stare at them without wanting to hug him.

I shook my head.

"What's the matter? If it's about pay or something I can always."

"I'm sorry but I can't stay here Hisagi."

"Why?"

I tugged on the edge of my sleeve.

"If you understood how I felt then you would know why." I said.

He blinked.

A line formed between his eyebrows.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

His voice was riddled with concern and at that point, I was unable to look him dead on anymore. Nor was I able to keep the feelings I had kept hidden away in the depth of my breast since that fateful day my ex fiancé had been killed. It uncoiled within me like a slithering dragon tired, depressed from years of encasement, and bubbled in my throat ready to be liberated of the confinement.

I rested my face in my hands.

"I feel confused. How can I possibly work with you every day with the way I feel about you. I have known you for a long time. But you've never noticed me in the shinigami academy. You saved my life once too but you don't know that either. I've always watched you from afar wishing that I could someday meet you and I did. So when I got to work with you I found it more and more difficult to control my feelings. But it's so hard when you act so nice and cool. I thought I could ignore it but you kept acting so-I don't know-just so friendly like maybe you liked me. But then Matsumoto came in and I was jealous. And I was really confused because I was trying to convince myself I didn't feel a certain way but I-I -I,"

I had to take a breath. I did not remove my hands from my eyes I was too frightened to see the expression on Hisagi's face. If he even had one at all. I was half expecting him to push me down the hill and run off as he screamed "Get away from me you strange female stalker!" but he did not. He did not say anything and the silence seemed to mar more than my alternative.

I felt him grab my hands and remove them from my face. I looked up at his face. It was vacant and there was something as he stared into my brown eyes like an epiphany of realization washed over him. He held my hands just below my chin.

"What-what are you saying, Ayame?" He said calmly.

A distinguishable pink line formed across his cheek in stark contrast with his vertical scars and grey tattoo.

"I said that I...really like you." The words poured out like sand.

What I really wanted to say was that I was in love with him and I had shamelessly fantasized about waking up to him smiling beside me on a pleasant morning. I felt bare and vulnerable now that the truth was out on the table. The mortification I felt made me want to disappear.

"I-I..." The blush seemed to spread beyond his cheeks. He was speechless.

Well that made two of us now. I backed away letting his fingers drop from my hands.

"Lieutenant!" The other voice shook us out of our daze. Another shinigami appeared out of the trees.

His breathing was heavy and shallow.

"Thank goodness Lieutenant. We have an emergency!"

Hisagi looked at me and then at the shinigami standing eagerly.

"What's going on?" The Lieutenant's voice was unstable.

"We're under attack."

The officer said.

"What do you mean were under attack?"

"I-I don't know it must be hollow sir. I'm...not entirely sure but we've been evacuating the recruits' barracks as quickly as possible." His words were tripping over themselves.

"Go get Ueda. Tell him to station himself at the north gate. You and I will head to the south area to confront it directly. Go on without me." He ordered.

The officer nodded. Then he left into the trees.

Hisagi went to run after him before looking back at me.

I could not tell what he was thinking as he gazed at me during that split second.

But I guess the confessions of teammate was the least of his problems right now.

* * *

Author's End note: That's all for now. Feel free to review and say how you felt about this chapter~~~


	19. Page 18

Author's Note: Hi guys, it seems as if it has been forever since I last released a chapter, (I could have sworn I published this chapter earlier). College has been mentally demanding so I haven't had as much free time as before.

* * *

**Hisagi's POV**

She stared at me with her smoldering brown eyes. I could tell she was waiting for something, an answer maybe or some form of recognition perhaps. I felt a bead of sweat roll down my temple.

If only my mind could start operating, again so I could say something. The numbness of my lips made it difficult to speak.

"I...I...I didn't…know."

Her face was ghostly pale. The only thing 'lively' and moving were her brown eyes. They broke their trance from my own and shifted to the ground.

The heat spreading across my cheeks was almost painful now.

Say something, I felt my mind urge me.

Her small hands trembled within my own. They felt thin and wispy, like they would blow away if I let go.

Say something. The command echoed within my hallowed skull.

Say something.

The silence between us was deafening. I swore I heard a sound similar to a small caught animal yelping escape her pink lips weakly. Her body seemed to deflate and she began to shrink away from me. The sudden reclusion forced me back into reality. I did not want Ayame to leave me.

But she needed an answer. Something that I...could not provide.

Ayame said she liked me. If I heard her correctly, she really liked me. And I...

My heart rate rose and I felt my palms begin to sweat. My fingers receded from the cold touch of her palms.

How exactly did I feel? Could I even put it into words?

"Lieutenant!"

Behind me stood one of my subordinates. He huffed and then swallowed finally catching his breath.

"Thank goodness Lieutenant. We have an emergency!"

I looked at back at Ayame whose gaze had settled somberly on the floor before her.

"An emergency?" I asked impatiently.

His face was riddled with concern and he spoke with the utmost urgency.

"We're under attack."

The officer said.

Did I hear him correctly?

"What do you mean were under attack?" I repeated.

"I-I don't know it must be a hollow sir. I'm…not entirely sure but we've been evacuating the recruits' barracks as quickly as possible."

"Dammit," I murmured under my breath.

"Go get Toshimori Umesada. Tell him to station himself at the north gate. You and I will head to the south area to confront it directly. Go on without me." I ordered.

The officer nodded warily before leaping back into the trees. I began to trek after him before halting suddenly.

Ayame.

I looked back at her. A soft line formed at her lips and she seemed to give me a nod. It did not seem morally right to leave her alone.

_What are you doing? Stop wasting your time with this female!_

The more logical calculating part of my brain seemed to take over my systems and forced my legs to follow my subordinate. This part of my brain tended to separate my emotional side from my decision making side. This part of the brain was also fearful of the unknown and tended to avoid all things that involve intimate situations.

We arrived at the site of the main buildings inside the ninth division barracks area. I leaped atop one of the barracks roofs to get a better view of the situation. The barracks in the ninth division were organized in four sets of four all surrounding the main Captains building. Four long narrow buildings formed each area where, regardless of the rank the shinigami, members were placed. Though if you were ranked higher you would usually be placed closest to the Captain's building.

I looked below where the four buildings surrounded a small courtyard. There was a large snake like crater that ran through the grass of the courtyard, which had overturned numerous trees and ran through a barrack's wall. There was a crowd of shinigami gathered around the destruction. In the distance, the loud crunching sound of a collapsing wall and a few screams echoed in the near distance. I ran across the banner of the building and leaped to the next one. I could see something moving, dark and ominous just behind a building not too far away. I could only hope that not too much damage had been done.

I landed into the alley between the two barracks. There was a large gaping hole on one side of the building large enough for an elephant to enter. I entered into the crumbling hole cautiously. The floorboard was riddled with various pieces of concrete and debris. Few of the blankets and linen had been brushed aside in the creatures wake.

There were already a number of shinigami officers trying to subdue the creature.

The shinigami from before landed beside me.

"Are you sure this is a hollow?" I asked.

"I...Uh," He stuttered.

"Where is Toshimori?"

"He said he wasn't feeling well Lieutenant."

He wasn't feeling well?

I nodded. I could not waste any more time. There was a crash of wooden planks that echoed against the walls. I followed the path of destruction until I saw a large black looming figure huddled in the far end of the building.

I positioned my sword in front of my face. It glinted malevolently and I could feel the thirst for blood spilling radiating off the cold hard blade. I did not want to take out my shikai but I could not afford to underestimate this hollow-like monster either.

I breathed steadying myself. My companion almost whimpered in frantic anticipation. He took out his zanpakuto and held it before him in a defensive stance.

The large animalistic figure turned slowly.

"Release...shikai."

It did not have any distinguishable features. It moved slowly from its spot seemingly gliding across the floor. All but its face was its most distinguishable part, as it resembled a vulgar hollow mask.

I had never seen anything like it. Of course, I had fought quite a number of hollows in my day but the chalky paleness of his mask gave him a more otherworldly appearance.

How had a hollow of this size sneaked it into Soul Society without anyone noticing?

It did not make sense.

I felt the reiatsu bubble around my sword. It itched to be released but I tried to keep my focus.

There was a moment of suspension as it stared silently down at me. Then in an instant, it lurched forward. I flash stepped out of its wake. Before it could make its way past me, I brought my sword over my head and then I used the force of my arms to bring my zanpakuto into a fast downward slash. I felt the sword cut connect and push through a part of the creature's 'flesh'. Its body shuddered and a piercing screech shot through the air. It instantly changed its line of direction and crashed through the wall leading out to the surrounding barracks area.

I followed it with a considerably shaken shinigami scrambling behind me. It movements were a lot more choppy as it seemed to limp as it made its way past shocked shinigami. I appeared before it positioning my zanpakuto above my head for another downward strike. It jumped out of the way more quickly than it should have launching itself on a nearby tree. Then it landed on top of the roof of a barrack. The tiles crashed underneath it and a wave of tiles fell to the floor. I rushed to stop the oncoming flying debris before it reached an oblivious group of shinigami standing below.

There was a flash of lavender hair before me, then a bright luminous glow. Then a radiant barrier formed around the three shinigami. It deflected the debris falling from the roof. Then it dematerialized and Ayame used a crescent shaped sword to cut through the remaining pieces of tile. She looked up to the sky.

For a split second, I thought she was someone else. This could not have been the same girl who I was speaking alone with just moments before. Her face looked so determined.

"Ayame," I whispered.

She looked at me and then looked at the hollow like creature attempting to escape.

I swallowed and jumped on the edge of the building. Then jumped above the hollow before thrusting my sword through its body. A loud screech was heard. And it fell off the roof of the building and tumbled to the ground below. I looked down at the crumple of dark mass.

Its body broke down into dust and the black particles flew away into the sky.

I placed my fingers on top of my forehead and exhaled heavily. Then I looked out at the damage it had caused. I looked down to see if there was anyone seriously injured below. There was one person in particular that I was looking for but I could not spot her pale skin among the crowds of shinigami running around beneath me.

Had she left?

In my chest rumbled something much larger. Something quite familiar and piercing.

It was fear.

A fear that I had let someone down.

* * *

**Ayame's POV**

_(A few weeks later)_

"Ayame,"

I turned around on the ball of my foot. After some time, I still had not gotten used to her cutting voice.

"Yes, Lieutenant Ise?" My voice squeaked. She had a way of appearing at the most inopportune times when you least expected it. It was as if she moved in the shadows.

She raised a dark eyebrow and for a second a small smile tug at the corner of her lips with subdued amusement.

She cleared her throat. Her purple eyes cut through to my face and then to the sky where I was previously looking.

"It appears as if something hasn't changed. You're still rather quite air headed." I opened my mouth to agree but closed it upon realizing her question was more rhetorical than anything else was.

Coming from Lieutenant I guess that could only be taken as a lighthearted jab.

She took out her clipboard and scribbled endlessly. I just about thought she had forgotten I was there.

Then she looked back at me.

"But you have changed quite a lot. I almost had not recognized you when you arrived here some weeks ago."

She admitted hesitantly. I gave her a small smile and looked back at the floor.

"But I don't see why your personality should change. Is there something bothering you? You seem less...what is the word? Optimistic…no."

"I'm fine! Why would you ask?"

She looked at me skeptically and I shrunk underneath her gaze but I kept up my stale expression.

"I'm j-just...happy to be back, that's all..."

She thought over my words thoughtfully. Her usual stern face softened.

"I see. Well Captain Shunsui would like to see you. Because of the recent Hollow attack, he had traveled to Captain Jushiro to have a small Captain's meeting. However, I am not sure if much work actually was done. It might not have been the best decision to recall you at that time too."

Ise pushed her black rimmed glasses up on the bridge of her nose. A glare appeared before her eyes as she recalled her loathable Captain.

A flutter of bittersweet excitement rose up in my chest. Since I had been here, I had not yet had the opportunity to see Captain Shunsui.

All I was left to do was be alone with my thoughts. It was silent torture.

Lieutenant Ise nodded before leaving me on the pathway.

I had not spoken to Hisagi since I left, nor did I hear any news from him either.

After confessing to him, he had to leave. I followed shortly after to see what the commotion was about. I had managed to offer some help by deflecting a few stray pieces of brick.

Once Hisagi had defeated the creature, of course his nearby followers approached him. The crowd of people surrounding him and waiting for orders was so thick it became nearly impossible to come within reach of him. Who would I have been to interrupt him while he was doing his duties? I would have only been a distraction.

I would merely get in the way. I could remember Lieutenant's distraught face. The crease over his dark eyebrows. That familiar shadow over his eyes. It was alarming but not more alarming than having to meet face to face with him again.

I could not stop beating myself up over saying all those things to him. Why couldn't I have been satisfied with the way things were before? As a shinigami it was important to be able to differentiate between personal life and professional life. I had made the poor decision of intermixing the two and now Hisagi has more problems than he needed to take care of.

Why can't I separate those two worlds?

Did this make me insufficient as a shinigami?

I had thought that being away from Hisagi would make things better. Confessing yet had not accomplished anything. My stomach felt lightened by the sudden weight off my conscious but now my heartfelt even more bitter. Guilt now plagued my thoughts. When I should be thinking about work all I could think about was his face and that small smile that he tried to hold back when he was faintly amused.

Nevertheless, I had made the decision ultimately to leave. It was what I had wanted.

But the least someone could do was put out some sort of public service announcement. From the few pieces of information I picked up from certain conversations some had said that this was just a random hollow attack. Some commented and said that there had been other minor occurrences in other places. Some even disputed that these attacks were related to the recent happenings in Rukongai.

No one said anything about the Lieutenant though.

I looked at the mahogany gold tinted doors. This was the Captain's office and it felt like it had only been yesterday since I was lugging sake crates to his office. I knocked twice.

Then I heard a joyful 'Come in'.

I opened the door. And I stepped inside.

My Captain sat at his desk with his head rested thoughtfully in his palm. In his other hand was a pencil. If you were anyone else, you may have been fooled into thinking that he was doing something serious. But I knew better.

His brown eyes sparkled when he saw me enter the room shyly. He got up from his desk just as tall as I remembered and glided towards me. His arms were wide open to welcome me with a hug. I shrunk back unsure of what the policies were for personal displays of affection from your superiors but I found myself swept into a hug anyways.

"Captain Shunsui!" I said. He encased me into his large arms and I awkwardly sat in his grasp in the cusp of his armpit. His body gave the familiar scent of lilies and oranges. He placed me back onto the floor but kept his hands on my small shoulders.

His eyes scanned my face.

"You've changed quite a bit Little Ayame." I shook my head, still thrown off by the hug.

I unconsciously ran a hand through my ponytail.

"Changed?" I asked.

He smiled. His mustache crinkled on top of his lip.

"Yes, you've grown. I can tell from your reiatsu. It's almost like you're a grown woman now." He chuckled. I wanted to chuckle with him or even give him a smile but I could not bring myself to do it.

He frowned at my indifferent expression.

He turned to his desk.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me but it seems like you'd rather be somewhere else?" He accused in a pouty tone.

"N-No! I-"

He held up his hand.

"No. Please, no need to tell me more." Captain Shunsui leaned on his desk promptly shoving his paperwork aside.

"Little Nanao already warned me that you weren't your usual self lately. It's because of that Lieutenant isn't it."

I blinked.

"I-No! Not at all."

"Lieutenant Shuuhei was rather hard on you wasn't he then."

I could not respond. I was not completely sure how to. Was it that obvious?

He looked at me his wavy bangs falling before his eyes then he smiled.

Then he took out his small guitar from under his desk.

"I'm fine," I tried to reaffirm him.

"Of course you are." He said without looking back at me.

"In all seriousness, Hisagi gave me really good reviews about you. He told me that you were one of the hardworking members in the ninth division even if you were just a stand in. And you thought you wouldn't do well."

He strummed a few chord progressions together.

"If your fine then you should be able to accompany me for some tea outside. Taking time to admire your beauty will surely help me relieve some stress."

Relieve stress from what, I thought.

He began walking ahead of me. How could he be so cordial after weeks of not seeing each other?

"C-Captain Shunsui, I'm don't mean to deny your kindness but I don't think I'm up for tea right now,"

He looked surprised. Then he smirked.

"Ah, so would you like to partake in another form of stress relief. Well I do know of this massage technique that I've been just waiting-"

"I mean-uh, never mind."

I had the fear that I might start crying again. It was difficult not to since the past few days.

But Captain Shunsui was just so kind.

"Maybe I can stay for a while." I changed my mind.

The man clapped his hands together. He sighed then he made his way back to his desk.

"Good, I'll get my specials cups ready."

There were times where I wished that I could stay in a cocoon. Then I would never have to experience the pain of growing or that vulnerable stage when a butterfly leaves the cocoon. That stage is where it is at its most susceptible.

However, no one ever admires cocoons.

* * *

The next chapter is a lot more exciting. Something that many of you all have been waiting for might happen. It's finished except for the revisions so look out for it.


	20. Page 19

**Author's note**: Hi guys! I know it's been a couple months since I last updated. But I wanted to say I really appreciate the last couple of reviews. The one about almost dropping her computer made me laugh. Everyone else's were really sweet~

* * *

**Hisagi's pov**

There are only two occasions when it is deemed socially appropriate to spend a weekday drinking sake: you are either one, celebrating an occasion or two, wallowing in regret.

I could easily identify with the latter of the two options. People like me usually choose to sit at the far end of the bar counter, their heavy head resting in their palm as they stare endlessly into the alcoholic beverage of their choice.

I was actually the only patron in the bar, sitting by myself when I should have been working.

My fourth seated officer had highly recommended I take a break. Things were settling down after the 'event'. I was…exhausted to say the least. These last few weeks had taken their toll on my body. And despite the amount of will I had, I needed to thrive off of pure mental power alone.

The bartender looked over at me warily, before attending to another patron.

_I must look like a pathetic piece of shit, huh? A lieutenant, sitting by himself, attempting to drown his problems in his cup of sake. _

I grunted at the thought and forcefully gulped down another shot.

I should leave, I contemplated. I need to get my paperwork done and continue with the investigation and get Ayame to-

Something sharp and acute shot through my abdomen, a reoccurring pain I had felt since she left that day.

The mental image of her bloodless face resurfaced in my mind. Her features had blurred, all except for her sad round brown eyes.

_Dammit_. I got up from the stool knocking over an empty cup on the counter.

The door flung open. Inside came the familiar faces of my two good friends.

_What are the odds?_

Izuru scanned the bar with a smile on his face. His eyes lit up when he saw me. The blonde haired lieutenant tapped the shoulder of Renji Abarai, signaling him towards my direction.

"Ah, I thought you guys weren't coming." I stated blandly.

Kira scratched his cheek bashfully.

"Sorry, I got off of work late and then we ran into Rangiku and.…you know..."

"Seems like you already got hammered without us."

Renji noted.

I cleared my throat.

"I haven't...drunk that much." I lied.

It would have been rude to leave after they came all this way. And I really have not seen them since that attack.

We sat down together like we usually did.

It was not too long before we started talking about casual things like 'food' and 'girls'. It was a lot easier to get my mind off things when you had people to talk with. Talking with my friends brought me back to a time before the pressures of a lieutenant position. When all I had to worry about were moving up the ranks and following orders.

"So what have you been up to? I never got to ask you how's it been since..." Kira's voice trailed off.

"Hm,"

"...You know," He trailed off.

I stared at him blankly.

" No, I do not know." My words came out with more sarcasm than necessary.

Why have I been so curt lately, I pondered worriedly.

Renji shrugged."Yeah, you look depressed. More so than usual, I mean." Renji stated rather bluntly. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked me over smugly.

Why is it that every conversation has to end up involving my health?

"I'm not depressed. I'm just tired. I have a lot to deal with." I grumbled.

Renji blinked.

"You're always 'tired'."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

Kira took a sip of his sake then placed it down in front of him. He sighed but I could not tell if it was an agreeable sigh or a patronizing sigh.

"No I'm-"

Kira cut me off.

"Didn't Captain Soi Fon release a statement saying that it was just one of a few stray hollow attacks. I don't think there should be anything to worry about now."

"A few stray hollow attacks? Do you really think I believe that?" I tried to keep my voice under control but the alcohol made it difficult to remain restrained.

The bashful blonde instantly retreated, noting my aggravated tone.

"You are depressed." Renji said again. I shot him a look.

"I'm just saying what she said is all. So you don't have to try so hard." Kira suggested.

Renji agreed. "Right. A balanced shinigami needs rest too. Get Ayame to take care of the work. You seemed pretty laid back with her working more before."

I stared at my sixth bottle of sake in silence.

Then I looked at Renji through my half sodden eyes. Kira shifted in his seat uncomfortably as if he were aware of how the statement made the situation awkward for me. We sat in an extensive hush as Renji had an oblivious expression on his face.

"Yea," I said under my breath, before looking out the window.

"How is she doing anyways? I haven't spoken to her in a while." The red head asked. My mouth felt dry. Why did he want to know? Why can't he ask her himself?

"I don't know." My slurred words were a bit incomprehensible.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Renji asked.

I rubbed my forehead.

"... I, she doesn't,"

"Ayame doesn't what? Is she sick or something?"

"No. She went back to the eighth division. Her captain called her back."

It was quiet as he put the facts together. Which took a while, mind you. Kira looked at my face in order to read my expression.

He did not seem surprised, unlike his taller companion.

"I should get going." I resolved.

Renji wore a face of mock betrayal. "But we just got here."

"I know, but I have work to do."

We decided to part our separate ways for now. However, I noticed that Kira decided to follow me home.

"You don't have to walk me home you know." I joked dryly.

He responded with a "Hm."

We walked silently for a few minutes our only companions the stars above.

"Remember in the academy when we used to sneak out on the training grounds across the river to watch the fireworks?"

"Yea,"

I steadied myself against a fence. The urge to throw up rose in my stomach.

"I remember I was really down about failing this examination and then you told me about something."

He continued.

"You told me if I looked up to the stars, I would always feel inadequate and small. That's why when I didn't reach my high expectations I shouldn't feel so bad."

I was silent. He looked at me out of the corner of his light blue eyes.

"It kind of helped to humble me, you know."

"Where are you going with this, Kira?"

"No where. I was just talking."

He cleared his throat.

"I actually wanted to see if you wanted to talk about anything. If there was anything bothering you..."

"There's nothing bothering me Kira."

"I've been your friend for years Shuuhei. I can tell when you're trying to put on that 'face'."

I could not deny it, so I kept on walking.

"Does it have to do with Ayame leaving?" He inquired.

I missed a step. Guys do not discuss love problems.

And if we did our concern was usually met with 'Yeah that sucks. *silence*. Want a beer.' And that would be the last of it. That was what Rangiku was for, given that she wasn't your love prospect. We didn't talk about feelings either. It made you look soft and the last thing you want to do was look soft in front of your guy friends.

But Kira and I were really good friends. And in the realm of best buddy hood, social constructs like machismo are not necessary. He was one of the few people I should be open with.

I've told him many things while edged on in my intoxicated stupor, from my innate fear of wielding my zanpakuto to my old crush on Rangiku. I could cry in front of him too without fear of him telling everyone else.

"I think I messed up." I mumbled.

"How?"

"Ayame hates me."

Kira furrowed his brow.

I stared back at the ground. I did not want to see his face.

"She hates you? Why are you talking about Shuuhei?" I leant against the wooden fence again.

"Before she left, I think she told me that she kind of... well, she said liked me."

The words tickled my tongue as they left my mouth. I did not look up to see Kira's reaction.

"Yeah?" He asked as if expecting something more.

I shook my head.

"When she told me that, all I could do was stare at her. I couldn't speak. I really wish I could but I couldn't. I've never had someone tell me that- ah, I'm such an idiot!"

Kira stared at the pavement contemplating. He looked taken aback as if he was not expecting it.

"I haven't been able to leave my division to say anything to her. She probably thinks I am..."

"What would you say to her then, if you could see her?" Kira asked quietly. I was speechless. I had imagined myself apologizing but for what? What would be the responsible response?

"How do you feel about Ayame?"

I inhaled and exhaled.

"...I try not to, but I'm always thinking about her, during work before I go to bed. It gets to the point where I can't sleep right. The way she made me feel when she was here-it made me feel- I can't describe it. I just—I have never felt like that towards a person before. But I'm just…confused."

The words were pouring out of my mouth like a waterfall.

"Do you think she's cute?"

"Yes."

My face reddened. The alcohol was really affecting my brain. _Of all the questions to ask._

I looked up at his serious expression.

"How is that even relevant?"

Kira shrugged. "It's a legitimate question."

"She's definitely pretty-I mean above average-I mean, doesn't everyone else think so? She has a really nice..." _Ah, what am I saying? _I confessed.

I could feel Kira's smirk as I fumbled to take back what I said.

"So, you are really into her then, like love?"

The word had not yet come into my mind. It was a word that I had shared with my mother, my siblings and my captain. What was love supposed to feel like for a woman though? Because all I've ever experienced with a woman was a basic superficial physical level of 'love'. I did not know what love was.

"I still don't- "

"What are you so afraid of?"

I peered at Kira's condescending face.

"Afraid?"

He nodded. His brow furrowed underneath the shadow of his bangs.

"Ayame was brave enough to tell you how she felt and all you can is come up with excuses as to why you can't give her an answer. I think you know how you feel already. You just don't want to face it."

When did he become a psychiatrist? How would he know?

"But I,"

"You need to tell her how you feel Hisagi. Even if you don't like her that way. Let her know because there are other people who'd wished they were to brave enough to tell Ayame how they felt."

/-/

**Ayame pov**

"So if someone were to parry like this." I lifted my fingers toward my chest and formed a triangle.

"And use this Kido spell, Rikujokoro."

My volunteer, standing a few feet away, dropped her zanpakuto. Her arms fell to her sides and her knees collapsed on themselves. A white thin light surrounded her body.

I heard a half hearted clap erupt from the crowd which is more than I could ask for given the usual indifference of the eighth division when it came to doing actual work.

"And then you re-"

"Oh little Ms Saaaaattoooo." We looked around the room. I knew all too well who the melodic voice belonged to. Before I knew it, the doors of the training corridor flung open. A breeze of cherry blossom petals floated into the room out of nowhere accompanied by the smell of lavender. _Seriously? How does he manage to defy the laws of physics like that?_

The tall man glided through the crowd his flowing robe dragging behind him. I no longer felt the need to fix up my messy ponytail. I was used to Captain Shunsui popping up randomly.

I bowed and was followed by everyone else.

"Um, can someone help me? I'm still tied up here."

Shunsui laughed and waved at the crowd and winked playfully. The morale of the group instantly rose and he was greeted with a wave of "good afternoon captain"s. I mumbled slightly under my breath. If I wore a Captain Shunsui mask, I'm sure people would pay a lot more attention during practice.

"Yes Captain?" I asked looking nervously to the group. What task could he possibly want me to perform now?

He grabbed my hands in his large ones and stared at me intently. We stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"I feel like these things are crushing my lungs." The voice, now more desperate, whined.

"Oh Ayame, you won't guess the predicament I'm in. I need you're help as soon as possible."

He groaned in mock distress.

I blinked. Then I looked at the faces the shinigami huddling around us.

"Uh, we'll I'm kind of-"

"Great! Follow me back to my office!"

"B-but-"

He turned to the rest of the shinigami awaiting further instruction.

"You are all released for the day!"

A sigh of relief could be heard from each person.

"We must not wait. Time is precious my little darling!" He drug me off to his office.

"W-what about me?" The girl laying on her face moaned.

/-/

**Hisagi's pov**

For once Kira seemed to be the more sensible of us both. There was no reason for me to be afraid. I wanted Ayame to be here, with me.

I liked her but I just...

I just what, I asked myself. I knew I had _feelings_ for her, but I wasn't sure of the exact name. I have never felt the need to hesitate in most situations. Making quick responsible decisions was why I was a Lieutenant.

Even if I did tell her how I 'felt', what would we do afterwards? There are too many alternative routes this could take. Too many different ways in which the situation could play out. Given how long it's been, she probably doesn't even...

I finished stamping the last sheet of official paperwork. My head was pounding like crazy.

After last night's conversation, these internal issues were all I could think about.

After throwing up before coming to work, I had resolved in confronting her and apologizing. I would tell her exactly how I felt, unfiltered and unaltered.

If things went well, which I'm unsure if they will, I'll request her to transfer back into the my division.

I would need permission from her Captain again. Where a shinigami is assigned is out if my control and that would involve a lot more paperwork and permission from the higher ups. The type of power a lieutenant like me lacked.

But this was thinking quite far ahead.

I crossed my arms over my chest. Then I looked at the invitation lying opened on my desk. It was nicely decorated and the person who wrote it obviously put a lot of effort in making it look neat. On the top of the letter, it read 'you are invited to celebrate the birthday of our benevolent leader and dear captain Ukkitake'. I had not planned on going but I realized it could be a much needed break. We were friends after all and I had not seen him in a while. Maybe I could ask him for some advice while I am there.

/-/

Out of all the many mentors I looked up to, I could always depend on Ukitake for a decent conversation. He was good when it came to listening and he always has an inspiring and motivating word to say. If ever a nickname were given to him, it would be the 'optimist'.

I followed the familiar landmarks to his office. The division was still as peaceful as it was before. It almost made me feel strange to see no shinigami rushing around.

"Hisagi!"

A small blond woman and a black haired male ran towards me . They were the co-third seats of the thirteenth division, the ones probably responsible for the event. I waved.

"Hi-"

In a sudden rush, they grabbed my arms and rushed me behind the office building.

She peered at me with her dark grey eyes in shock. Her jaw clenched tightly.

"What are you doing?" She whispered harshly.

I raised my brow.

"I was just walking."

"We told you in the letter to come through the back way. We don't want captain Ukitake finding out this is a surprise birthday party!"

The man wearing a hori headband whispered.

You would think that I had given the enemy the location of our defense unit troops. I contained my sigh.

"Sorry."

She smiled and nodded. "Alright, come through this way so we can all get ready, Lieutenant."

/-/

The office had been decorated with so many fliers and rolls of paper that I could not even tell what the original color of the floor was. They had even gone as far as to get a life size painting of his face draped across the wall.

I stared at it intently. It looked just like him, except for his eyes. One seemed a bit off. But his usual happy go lucky expression was there.

"Don't you think...this is a bit much?" The painting was starting to creep me out. As if it were staring into my soul.

The dirty blonde haired girl scurried around the room attempting to dust the bookshelves.

"No way, I don't want him coughing with all this dust flying around."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Do you like the painting? I picked it out myself." Sentaro the dark haired man asked proudly. He stroked the patch of facial hair on his chin and smirked. Kiyone turned around, halting her dusting.

"Ha, that's funny. I actually remember buying it."

His beady eyes glinted.

"Ha. I think you're mistaken." He replied, mocking her sarcastic tone.

Their argument drifted into the background.

I groaned inwardly.

The door slid open and in stepped a man more than seven feet tall. The scent of lavender filled the room. My mouth hung slightly agape.

There should have been no reason for my shock. He and Ukitake were probably the best of friends. And of course, he would be at his birthday party. Yet, it was the person who came tripping in after him that made the blood drain from my face and my fingertips go numb.

"Captain Ukitake has arrived!" Captain Shunsui announced.

I looked past him and there she was, my opportunity at redemption.

* * *

End Note: Seems like has been making a lot of changes. I don't even know how to navigate the website anymore. Oh well~

Just wanted to continue to update. I know how awful it is for an author to just drop a story and I want to let you guys know that I plan on updating until I finish. Feel free to review and tell me how you feel about this chapter. Next chapter will be out soon!

Oh and should I have a cover image now? I feel like new readers might not check out the story if it doesn't have a cool cover. I just don't know what I would put...


	21. Internalizing

**Author's Note**: Hi guys! I know it's been forever and I'm sure many of you thought I wouldn't ever update again (I completely understand). But I did release another chapter.

* * *

**Hisagi pov**

There are only two occasions when it is deemed socially acceptable to spend a weekday drinking sake. You have either, one, ended a relationship which thus calls for celebration, or two, received a promotion, which also calls for celebration. Then there exists the other alternative: wallowing in your own self pity while you reflect on all your past failures starting from that time I left my little brother at the super market.

People who have chosen to partake in this alternative choice to spend a night (like I) are usually found sitting at the far end of the bar counter (like I am currently doing), their heavy head resting in their palm, staring endlessly into the alcoholic beverage of their choice.

The feeling of loneliness they may be experiencing can be further exacerbated by the fact that the no one else is sitting the bar.

"I should be working." I sighed.

It was only under the persistent recommendation of my fourth seated officer that I take a break. Even though, things had settled down long after the 'event', I was…exhausted to say the least. These last few weeks had taken their toll on my body. And despite the amount of will I had, I found that I was less physically and mentally capable of keeping up.

The bartender looked over at me warily, before repositioning his glassware. Apparently he had ran out of things to do to keep him busy.

I must look like a pathetic piece of shit, huh? A lieutenant, sitting by himself, attempting to drown his problems in alcohol.

I grunted at the deprecating thought and forcefully gulped down another shot.

I should leave, I contemplated. I need to get my paperwork done and continue with the investigation and get Ayame to-

Something sharp and acute shot through my abdomen, a reoccurring pain I had felt since that day.

The mental image of her bloodless face resurfaced in my mind. I could recall the feelings and the tension so vividly but her features had blurred, all except for her sad round brown eyes.

Dammit. I got up from the stool knocking over my empty cup onto the floor. I peered at the cup lying on the ground, its image constantly shifting from one spot to the other.

How the hell am I going to pick that up?

Before I bent over to attempt to pick up the object the door flung open.

Two men entered the room. The shortest one's eyes lit up when he saw me scrambling to pick up a cup. The blonde haired lieutenant entered and tapped the shoulder of Renji Abarai, signaling him towards my direction. Izuru scanned the bar with a smile on his face.

My eyebrows raised and I stared at them with mock surprise. "What are you guys doing here so late?" I asked blandly.

A sigh erupted from the man cleaning the dishes.

They laughed and approached me.

Kira scratched his cheek bashfully.

Renji scoffed.

"You're one to talk,"

"Seems like you already got hammered without us."

Kira noted.

I cleared my throat.

"I haven't...drunk that much." I lied.

Then I grabbed the cup skillfully in my hand.

It would have been rude to leave just as they were entering. And I really have not seen them since the attack. This was my rationale for staying away from work just a little bit longer at least.

It did not take long before we started talking about casual things like 'food' and 'girls'. Talking with my friends brought me back to a time before the pressures of a lieutenant position. When all I had to worry about were moving up the ranks and following orders.

"So what have you been up to? I never got to ask you how's it been since..." Kira's voice trailed off.

"Hm,"

"...You know," He trailed off.

I stared at him blankly fully knowing what he was referring to.

" No, I do not know." My words came out with more sarcasm than necessary.

Why have I been so curt lately, I pondered worriedly.

Renji shrugged."Yeah, you look down. More than usual, I mean." Renji stated rather bluntly. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked me over smugly.

Why is it that every conversation has to end up involving my health?

"I'm not...down. I'm just...I have a lot to do. I'm fine." I grumbled.

Renji blinked.

"Whatever you say."

Kira took a sip of his sake then placed it down in front of him. He sighed but I could not tell if it was an agreeable sigh or a patronizing sigh.

"I'm serious, don't worry about it-"

There was a loud clunk on the table in front of us. A young doe eyed female placed a tray of freshly brewed drinks in front of us.

"Your drinks," The bar maid placed a cup in front us. Her eyes drifted to my arm where my Lieutenant's armband was tied and then traveled up to the side of my face.

"Thanks," I pretended not to notice her gaze and focused back on Renji.

"Didn't Captain Soi Fon release a statement about it. I think I remember her saying that it was just one of a few stray hollow attacks. I don't think there should be anything to worry about now."

I would have appreciated their efforts to make me feel better- if I wasn't so irritated for some reason. I wanted to say "A few stray hollow attacks? Do you really think I believe that," but that would have been unnecessarily rude.

"She did release a statement like that, I guess. It doesn't change the fact that ninth division has still been even more busy than usual." I mumbled.

I tried to keep my voice under control but the alcohol made it difficult to remain restrained.

The bashful blonde instantly retreated, taking note of my aggravated tone.

The bar maid rounded the counter to our table again. She smiled sweetly and asked if we needed anything else. Kira responded with a "no thank you" but Renji and I were involved with a semi intense stare. She left but not before looking back at me over her shoulder.

The red head leaned over the table as if to tell an interesting story. He gestured for me to come closer. "Obviously what you need is some release. If you understand what I'm saying."

Release? What is he referring to? I stared at my sixth bottle of sake in silence.

Then I looked at Renji through my half sodden eyes. Kira laughed a bit uncomfortably as if he were aware of how the statement made the situation awkward for me. We sat in an extensive hush as Renji smirked in his seat.

"Yea," I said under my breath, before looking out the window. Renji, never the person to save anyone from his blunt opinion, followed up on his statement to clarify.

"Like that bar maid, for instance. She's been giving you that 'look'." He whispered. The alcohol almost came through my nose in a rapid rush of shock.

"I-I...I can't deal with another woman right now." I said nervously.

"That's surprising."

"Why is that surprising?"

He avoided my question.

"Are you still thinking about Rangiku, cause it's been-"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Well if you're not into those Rangiku types anymore, maybe someone like your assistant..." The red head asked. My mouth felt dry like sand.

"I really need to go. It's getting late." I placed a couple of coins on the table in front of me then began getting up from my seat.

Renji wore a face of mock betrayal. "Come on Hisagi, don't be so soft."

"I have work to do."

It was from that moment on during the night that we decided we all had something or other to do. Even though I knew very well that my irritation had become even more apparent throughout the night. I could deal with them teasing me about my past crush on Rangiku, even when they had not known the full extent of our relationship (at least Renji did not) but I could not deal with talking about Ayame right now. I had come to the bar to...I feel ashamed to admit it but...forget about her. Or at least drown out the feeling of shame.

My footsteps were met with the timid clap clop of another until both of ours had become in sync. I did not need to turn around to sense who it was. I knew by the reiatsu who it was from the beginning.

"You don't have to walk me home you know." I joked dryly.

Kira responded with a "Hm."

We walked silently for a few minutes, our silence accompanied by the singing of cicadas.

"Remember in the academy when we used to sneak out on the training grounds across the river to watch the fireworks?"

I slowed down a bit. I was in no hurry to get where I needed to go.

"Yea,"

"I remember failing this exam. And I felt really stupid because everyone else including Renji could pass it. I kind of felt like, at that moment at least, I couldn't possibly become a shinigami."

He continued.

"Then, you told me if I looked up to the stars, I would always feel inadequate and small. That's why when I didn't reach my high expectations, I shouldn't feel so bad."

I was silent. He looked at me out of the corner of his light blue eyes.

"I still worry a lot about things but I always think about what you said. How I shouldn't get discouraged about all the pressure, you know."

"Where are you going with this, Kira?"

"...Nowhere. I was just talking."

He cleared his throat.

"I head Ayame was back in the Eleventh Division."

I gave my friend a look. The look was not meant to be malicious nor was it meant to portray shock.

Men simply expressed their feelings differently. It is almost if they were a written code outlawing any public forms of affection that may make you appear 'soft'. But Kira and I were really good friends. And in the realm of best buddy hood, social constructs like machismo are not necessary. He was one of the few people I could be open with. While he was not aware of everything I was going through he did know about basic fears, my childhood hero.

I have told him many things while edged on in my intoxicated stupor, from my innate fear of wielding my zanpakuto to my old crush on Rangiku. I could cry in front of him too without fear of him telling everyone else.

I inhaled deeply and then held it for a full four seconds.

"I think Ayame may hate me." I mumbled.

"Why?"

Kira furrowed his brow.

I stared back at the ground. I did not want to see his face.

"What did you do?" I leant against the wooden fence lining our path.

"She had received an order from her Captain to return to her post. I hadn't known about it but when I found out I really wanted to tell her that she would be better fit with-I mean- here in the ninth division. At least until everything was handled. But before I could tell her she told me that she had feelings for me."

As the words left my mouth they stung my lips. I felt so juvenile discussing issues that should only concern adolescents. I blushed at the confession.

"Yeah?" He asked as if expecting something more.

I shook my head. Kira had was good at never judging you- he was always silent until you've finished.

"When she told me that, all I could do was stare at her. I couldn't speak. I really wish I could but I couldn't."

Kira stared at the pavement contemplating. He looked taken aback as if he was not expecting it.

"I haven't been able to leave my division to say anything to her. She probably thinks I am a-"

"What would you have said to her then, if you could have responded?" Kira asked quietly. I was speechless. I had imagined myself apologizing but then what?

"And I don't mean that usual tactical rehearsed responses you give. How do you honestly feel about her?"

I inhaled and exhaled.

"I care about her. I still think about her. I'm not sure if that has a name."

I looked up at his serious expression.

"Do you think she's attractive?"

I looked off at the dark trees.

"Yes."

Kira shrugged. "Well there you go."

"She's definitely pretty-I mean above average-I mean, I always thought she was cute but I never considered-" Ah, what am I saying? "It's just before I could never see her in that way but I-"

I could feel Kira's smirk as I fumbled over my words. He was enjoying this that sick bastard.

"So, you are into her then, like love?"

Just the sound of the word made me break into a cold sweat. It was powerful and had the ability to make the strongest man vulnerable and weak. When I was younger I had used it to describe what I felt for Rangiku but I later found out that this word could not possibly stand for the lust I had felt.

"I still don't- "

"What are you so afraid of?"

I peered at Kira's condescending face.

"I'm not afraid. I just don't think it would be very professional if..."

He nodded. His brow furrowed underneath the shadow of his bangs.

"Ayame was brave enough to tell you how she felt and all you can is come up with excuses as to why you can't give her an answer. I think you know how you feel already. You just don't want to own up to it."

When did he become a psychiatrist?

"But I,"

"You need to tell her how you feel Hisagi. Even if you don't like her that way. Let her know because there are other people out there who'd wished they were to brave enough to tell Ayame how they felt."

Kira was becoming more passionate now. His brutal honesty was like a wakeup call to my delusional way of thinking. I had been procrastinating, putting off a responsibility that I should have addressed. I have to tell her how I feel or I'll never be able to sleep right.

* * *

**End Note:** I wanted to kind of give some insight to Kira and Hisagi's relationship while trying to shed some light on Hisagi's own conscious. Unfortunately he's not too good at explaining himself. Hopefully it will all work out when he confronts Ayame in the next chapter...


	22. Herbal

**Author's Note: **The next chapter has arrived. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**Ayame POV**

"So if someone were to parry like this." I lifted my fingers toward my chest and formed a triangle.

"And use this Kido spell, Rikujokoro."

My volunteer, standing a few feet away, dropped her zanpakuto. Her arms fell to her sides and her knees collapsed on themselves. A white thin light surrounded her body.

I heard a half hearted clap or two from the crowd, which is more than I could ask for given the usual indifference of the eighth division when it came to doing physical activity.

"And then you're-"

"Oh little Ms Saaaaattoooo." The group of young shinigami looked around the room. I knew all too well who the melodic sound belonged to. My attempts to block out his voice in my head were overshadowed mind bringing me back to reality. You know what's to come, it told me. Before I knew it, the doors of the training corridor flung open. A breeze of cherry blossom petals floated into the room out of nowhere accompanied by the smell of lavender.

The tall man glided through the crowd, his flowing robe dragging behind him. _Seriously? How does he manage to defy the laws of physics like that?_

I no longer felt the need to fix up my appearance unlike my peers. He was bound to catch you off guard looking less than desirable with he way he pops up randomly.

I bowed and everyone else followed suit.

"Um, can someone help me? I'm still tied up down here."

Shunsui laughed and waved at the crowd while winking playfully. The morale of the group instantly rose and he was greeted with a wave of "good afternoon captain"s. I mumbled slightly under my breath. If I wore a Captain Shunsui mask, I'm sure people would pay a lot more attention during practice.

"Yes Captain?" I asked looking nervously to the group. I was trying to maintain an unknowing look, as if I had no idea why he was here today.

He grabbed my hands in his large ones and stared at me intently. We stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"I feel like these things are crushing my lungs." The volunteer, now more desperate, whined.

"Oh Ayame, you won't guess the predicament I'm in. I need your help as soon as possible."

He groaned in mock distress.

I blinked. Then I looked at the faces the shinigami huddling around us.

"Uh, we'll I'm kind of-"

"Great! Follow me back to my office!"

"B-but-"

He turned to the rest of the shinigami awaiting further instruction.

"You are all released for the day!"

A sigh of relief could be heard from the crowd.

"We must not wait. Time is precious my little darling!" He drug me off to his office.

"W-what about me?" The girl lying on her face moaned.

* * *

**Hisagi's** **POV**

For once Kira seemed to be the more sensible of us both. There was no reason for me to put this off. I wanted Ayame to be here…with me. That I knew.

I liked her, but I just...

I just what, I asked myself. I knew I had feelings for her, but I was not sure of the category they fit in. As a lieutenant, indecisiveness is a trait that one cannot afford. But this was not the battle field, this was an entirely different situation all together. A situation in which I had no experience. At least, not any positive experiences.

Even if I did tell her how I 'felt', what would we do afterwards? There are too many alternative routes this could take. Too many different ways in which the situation could play out. Given how long it's been, she probably doesn't even...

I finished stamping the last sheet of official paperwork. My head was pounding like crazy.

After last night's conversation, these issues were all I could think about.

I crossed my arms over my chest. Then I looked at the invitation lying opened on my desk. It was nicely decorated and the person who wrote it obviously put a lot of effort in making it look neat. On the top of the letter, it read:

_It has been brought to my attention that you are a friend of Captain Jushiro Ukitake. Therefore, I would like to invite you to celebrate the birth date of our benevolent and dear leader. Make sure to get a gift and arrive at least thirty minutes prior in order to prepare for his surprise birthday party. _

_- Signed Kiyone_

_P.S. We will all meet in the 'backway'._

I had not planned on going to the party later today, even though I had bought a gift. But I realized it could be a much needed break. We were friends after all, and I had not seen him in a while. Maybe I could ask him for some advice while I am there.

Maybe speaking with him could strengthen my resolve in confronting and apologizing to Ayame. I would tell her exactly how I felt, unfiltered and unaltered.

If things went well, which I am unsure if they will, I will request that she transfer back into the my division.

I would need permission from her Captain again. Where a shinigami is assigned is out if my control and that would involve a lot more paperwork and permission from the higher ups. The type of power a lieutenant like I lacked.

But this was thinking quite far ahead. I needed to talk to her first.

/:-/:::

Out of all the many mentors I looked up to, I could always depend on Ukitake for a decent conversation. I almost respected him as much as I did Captain Komamura. He was good when it came to listening and he always had an inspiring and motivating word to say. If ever a nickname were to be given to him, it would most likely be the 'Optimist'. This is where he and I differed the most. Years of preparation from the Shinigami Academy and my own experiences have made me blatantly realistic, even borderline cynical.

I followed the familiar landmarks to his office. The thirteenth division was still as peaceful as it was before. I felt strange to see no shinigami rushing around.

"Hisagi!"

A dirty blonde woman skipped towards me from a distance. She was followed by an overly zealous dark haired man sporting a goatee. They were the co-third seats of the thirteenth division, the ones, I assumed, responsible for the event.

"Lieutenant Hisagi!" The dark haired man yelled loudly. He was swiftly elbowed in his ribcage by his partner in crime.

I lifted my arm, their names escaping my memory.

"Hi-" I began.

In a sudden rush, they grabbed my arms and dragged me behind a near office building.

The young woman peered at me with her grey eyes in shock. Her jaw clenched tightly.

"What are you doing?" She whispered harshly.

I raised my brow.

"I was just walking."

"We told you in the letter to come through the back way. We don't want captain Ukitake finding out this is a surprise birthday party!"

The dark haired man wearing a white headband loudly whispered.

You would think that I had given the enemy the location of our defense unit troops. I contained my sigh.

"Sorry."

She smiled and nodded. "Alright, come through this way so we can all get ready, Lieutenant."

* * *

I put my gift on his desk making sure not to tamper with any of the decorations. I had gotten him a notebook. It was not anything big but I knew he liked to write. He actually has a super heroes series that he submits chapters of to newspaper.

The office had been decorated with so many fliers and rolls of paper that I could not even tell what the original color of the floor was. They had even gone as far as to get a life size painting of his face draped across the wall.

I stared at it intently. It looked just like him, except for his eyes. One seemed a bit off. But his usual happy go lucky expression was there.

"Don't you think...this is a bit much?" The painting was starting to creep me out. As if, it were staring into my soul.

The dirty blonde haired girl, who I heard was called Kiyone, scurried around the room attempting to dust the bookshelves.

"No way, I don't want him coughing with all this dust flying around."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Do you like the painting? I picked it out myself." Sentaro the dark haired man asked proudly. He stroked the patch of facial hair on his chin and smirked. Kiyone turned around, halting her dusting.

"Ha, that's funny. I actually remember buying it." She dryly laughed.

His beady eyes glinted.

"Ha. I think you're mistaken." He replied, mocking her sarcastic tone.

I groaned inwardly.

"It seems like you guys really put in a lot of work for this. Did you do it all by yourselves?" I looked at the napkins folded origami style with Captain Ukitake's name inscribed on it.

Kiyone drew her attention away from Sentaro.

He scratched his head bashfully.

"We sure did. But it wasn't just us. A girl came earlier, I forgot her name-was it Ayato or something? Anyways, she helped us get a lot of the final decorations done."

She confessed.

"Are you sure her name was Ayato, because I could have sworn it was Kagome or something..."

"Whatever, Sentaro. I'm sure that headband of yours is restricting your memories."

As funny as it was to listen to them argue, I think I needed a break.

"Is there anything I can help with?"

Kiyone's eyes lit up.

She placed her hands on her cheeks.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Can you go help Ayato get the drinks and the food from the kitchen down the hall? We passed it on our way here. It should be the last door on the left."

"Sure," My tone was much lighter after given a task.

I exited the room and shut the door behind me. While I made my way down the hallway we previously entered, I could hear the casual chatter of Captain Ukitake and another male. I picked up the pace so they would not catch my face as I passed by. I stopped shortly, before the door leading to what I hoped was the kitchen area.

The scent of lavender emanated through the area. My mouth hung slightly agape. I looked behind me and sure enough, the man with Ukitake was Captain Shunsui himself.

There should have been no reason for my shock. He and Ukitake were probably the best of friends. He often referred to him as his drinking buddy. Therefore, it would make sense for him to attend his birthday party. Yet, for some rationale I felt the blood drain from my fingertips.

My mind was trying to convince me that this situation would not be as awkward as I was making it out to be. It was probably just seeing her captain here that made me break out in a sweat.

I forced myself to laugh quietly.

"That's foolish. Why am I acting so…"

I shook my head and opened the door quickly.

"Oh!"

The soft voice yelped. The events that followed occurred all too quickly for me to react. A silver tray of plates and cups were flung into the air. Their contents covering the face of the person who had bumped into me and clattered like rainfall against the floor. Instinctively, I reached out for her arms only to find myself slipping on a jelly like substance. The shorter person grabbed onto my jacket and I followed her to our inevitable decent to the ground. We landed amongst the cups and broken plates.

I heard a muffled groan underneath my chest.

I pushed myself up to on my hands and looked down at the individual whose face had been covered in noodles. She rested on her elbow while holding her head in her hands. What looked like herbal tea had been splattered across her kimono and down her arm. I hovered over her in shock.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry that I..."

I felt her body become rigid beneath me.

She drew the noodles covering her face out of her eyes. Her dewy skin now moist from noodle soup glistened making her rosy more apparent. She blinked once before pushing herself out from under me. Her lip quivered a bit before she said anything.

"..."

"..."

"...Hisagi."

* * *

**End Note: ** I hoped you liked it! Feel free to leave your opinions about this chapter in the box below~ Next chapter should be interesting since we get to see Hisagi and Ayame talk to each other months after she left.


	23. These Games We Play

**Author's Note:** I rewrote this chapter so many times~ But now it's finally finished. Enjoy!

* * *

_(Earlier that day)_

**Ayame POV**

Of course, Captain Shunsui's urgent request was not anything of grave importance.

He just needed someone to go as his 'date', to his friend's birthday.

A yearly pleasure so simple, that I had almost forgotten people like Captains and Lieutenants still took part in them. I had made the decision to pull my hair completely back and wear a plain blue yukata. He had goaded me into wearing my best to what he labeled as a 'formal event. My guess was that he just wanted to see me wearing something other than a uniform. But I kept that theory to myself.

I could only assume that my lieutenant had rejected his offer, well aware of the implication that it would involve doing odd jobs last minute.

So I was his back up. Which I had dreaded the thought of being when he first brought up the offer a week ago. I could already imagine the exhaustion I would feel from socializing far past my limits.

I quickened my pace to keep up with Captain Shunsui's long strides. How could someone who seemed to take life at such ease move so quickly.

"It'll be fun" He yelled out as we whipped past a large wall.

"I'm sure it will." My facial expression betrayed me. I tried my best to appear optimistic but I could not help but let a bit of cynicism get in the way. I must be picking it up from Lieutenant Ise.

I had not heard much about the thirteenth division, other than the fact that their Captain was stricken with tuberculosis.

The Captain stopped abruptly and I behind him. He repositioned his hat on top of his head to make sure it was still sitting right.

"A young women should be here to greet us. Hopefully you two could hang out while us old men talk." He chuckled to himself. I smiled.

Not that I needed to be set up on a play date or anything...

We rounded the corner of the building to be approached by two shinigami with giddy expressions on their faces.

"Captain Kyoraku!" The male shinigami came to bow before being partially pushed out of the way by his peer. She bowed again to Captain Shunsui ignoring the sneers from her comrade. I took a step back before she grabbed my shoulders.

Her face brightened.

"Ah, I'm so glad I have a girl here. There's still so much left we need to do!"

She said in an exasperated sigh.

I blinked, a half smile on my face.

She looked up at Captain Kyoraku. Then retained her previous respectful posture.

"Would you mind Captain Kyoraku, if you could distract our captain to supply us with more time?" Her voice almost pleading.

Shunsui chuckled then he stared down at me.

"And how could I deny the wishes of a young lady?"

They nodded as a form of agreement and Shunsui headed off to find who I assumed to be Ukitake. He looked back at me and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Don't have too much fun without me~" Then he walked off.

I held my hand out after, secretly not wanting to be left alone in a division with people I was not familiar with. But I quickly clenched my hand and brought it slowly back to my side.

The short haired girl raised her hand to her chest. "My name is Kiyone. This is Sentaro. We share the third seat position for the thirteenth division." She looked back at Sentaro who had stared at me blankly. He blinked before shaking his head. His hand jutted out and he held it in front of me. His gesture of a hand shake was met with a side glance from his peer.

"It's nice to meet you!" He almost screamed.

I grabbed his hand and gave a timid smile. "Um, it's nice to meet you too. My name is Ayame. I'm the fourth seat of the Eleventh Division."

I said softly. He flushed.

Kiyone grabbed my shoulders from behind.

"All right Romeo, if you don't mind I think we all have important things to take care of."

She steered me towards the building. I looked back at Sentaro who was looking down at his clenched fist. I was maneuvered through two doorways until we burst through a last door at the end of a hallway. Her enthusiasm almost led me to fall over upon entering the kitchen. I caught myself, cursing under my breath for not wearing more conventional forms of clothing and shoes. She stepped beside me, taking in the small makeshift kitchen. The sink was full of dirty pots and pans with remnants of batter and cooking oil left inside. On a counter beside the oven were a pan of uncooked rice balls, and a number of other objects I could not identify.

She exhaled.

"I hope you know how to cook. Because I really need someone to finish making this Ohagi. I was able to soak the rice balls but I forgot to cook them in the azuki paste."

She looked around at her other unfinished dishes.

"But now that you mention it, I kind of forgot about a lot of the food and drink preparations..."

I looked at the pan at which I assumed to be the rice balls she were referring to. If anything they resembled more triangular type polygons than rice balls. Not wishing to be rude I kept that observation to myself.

She rubbed the back of her head and gave a nervous laugh.

"I'll see what I can do..."

"Great! I'll check up on you later. Captain Kyoraku should be bringing Ukitake back soon so..."

I nodded, understanding the urgency interlaced within her voice. Working towards deadlines was a factor I had constantly dealt with when working under Hisagi. It was just a matter of managing your time.

I heard the door slam behind me.

I walked over to the counter. Does Kiyone really trust me to come through with cooking? I am not really good at cooking in all honesty.

I opened the cabinet above the pile of dishes and stared exasperatedly at the cans. It all looked so intimidating.

I shook my head. All I needed really was sugar. Everything else including the custard, and tea just needed to be poured into bowls and cups. And Ohagi was just sweet rice, I tried to console myself. I took out the container of sugar and then smiled a bit, recalling a child hood memory.

* * *

"Uh, can I help you mom?"

My mother turned to look at me standing beside her. Her steely gaze softened, and she released a small smile. Not here rare smile that formed wrinkles around her eyes or emphasized the deep crease in her forehead. It was her smile used for all occasions when it was appropriate to show contentment. She had became really good at putting on that same facade.

I took her silence as an 'I don't mind'. Then I stood beside her as she kneaded the dough in that chipped rusty pot of hers. Her knuckles were bluish and flushed. She wiped the sweat off her brow and looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

"So you're leaving today." She whispered.

I bit my lip while I rolled up my sleeves. She huffed. I could not help but be silent. She already knew the answer but I did not want to start up a verbal fight again. I was awful when it came to confrontation. Besides, it took every resolve I had within my body to go through with my decision. Any more ounce of doubt she might bestow within me could completely dissolve my confidence.

"I'm sorry," Was the only response I could offer.

My mother did not halt her activity. If anything she increased her pace. "Hand me the sugar." She said curtly. I complied watching her carefully.

"I don't know what you're trying to prove by going out and becoming one of those shinigami."

It was out in the air, cold and dry.

I was at a loss of words, as always.

She cut me a glance.

Her hands began separating the dough and rolling them into balls.

"Start the fire." I got on my knees and began fumbling with the flint and sticks.

"I-I-I told you that, uh, it would be a good way to support you. And Shinigami get paid, and live in nice places..." I stuttered.

"Only if you're able to pass the Shinigami Academy. Do you know how many kids from the slums go off with high hopes like you. They all have the same thing in mind, hoping to escape from this lifestyle, bring honor to their family and be as close as they can to noble hood. But then those same ones come back having dropped out and wasted a good chunk of their time because they couldn't compete."

I blinked. It hurt because it was true. I had never met someone who had actually made it into the Gotei 13, but that did not mean that there were not ones who did.

"I know...but I think I should try-"

"You're just a country girl Ayame. Those noble kids will break you..." He voice wavered. I could not view her face as it was concentrated on the dough in her small hands. She sniffled before turning away. The urge to cry was too great for me and without thinking I let warm tears escape from my eyes. I continued tending to the small fire on the floor.

'Dad would have let me go.' I wanted to say. But the quiet hung too heavily, and I was too afraid to break it. She was right. I am just a country girl. My vision may very well be too optimistic. Poor people did not have time to daydream, nor did they have time to think. When young boys in the slums boasted about becoming a shinigami their exclamations were met with laughter and ridicule. When you are born poor and working you must stay that way. Only rich people have time to dream. I wiped my eyes.

"Get that pot and put it over the fire. I'm going to show you how to make Odango."

I sat on my knees compliantly. My mother got on her knees too and sat on the other side of the pot. She stared at me long and hard for what seemed like an hour after throwing a few balls of dough into the oil filled pot.

"You can't cook Odango for too long, or it will burn." She said mechanically underneath her breath.

I nodded. Then I held my knees to my chest.

"I'll send you money..." I said quietly.

She exhaled.

"I don't care about money."

I looked up at her face which was a bit flushed.

My mother had a way of saying things without really saying them. And at that moment I realized something very important about her. She was not afraid of me failing per se, but more so of being alone. I did not want to leave. But I knew I would always be my same weak self if I stayed.

"And I promise to visit you...If I make it..." I offered her the comfort.

"Then go. Take that notebook under my futon with you. I know you've been trying to read and write."

I could not move. Had she really told me to leave? She turned her head and focused her attention on the pot.

"Take an Odango too if you must." Her voice strained to remain constant. I looked at her dumbly.

"D-Do you really-"

She shot up from her seat, a ferried look smoldering in her old eyes.

"Leave this house! And don't come back...not until you come back in with that black uniform and a sword, alright." She screamed passionately. Her whole body was shaking. She leaned against the wall.

I swallowed. Then I nodded before quickly gathering my things in a scarf and taking one of the cooked odangos. I looked back at her when I crossed the threshold to say goodbye. But she was already tending to the fire again.

I clutched the sugary odango in my hand and whispered a 'thank you' before leaving my mother behind.

* * *

I stared out of the window above the stove. There was a thin ray of light shining through. I gathered a bowl and ingredients to make the paste for the rice balls. Then I began to stir it until stirring became therapeutic. I wonder if I 'made it' yet?

It seemed as if I had phased out and some cooking goddess had overtaken my body. Everything that I had made was simple. I had even prepared some tea. I clasped my hands together and leaned against the counter.

It probably will not be the best Ohagi and rice they ever ate but it may be the one with the most effort to put in during these few last twenty minutes.

Kiyone sure did not check up on me like I thought she would...

I mulled over whether to leave and seek her out or just stay until she came.

"She must be really busy." I said underneath my breath. Or maybe she already forgot about me. I looked into the window pane. Then I found myself fixing my hair again. But for what? I decided to peek out the door. Nothing but clear fields and patches of dirt.

I placed my finger on my chin. Maybe I should just bring a plate over. I grabbed a tray out of the pantry and began placing cups and bowls of sauce onto it. Kiyone never told me the exact number of people attending but Captain Shunsui did say that it would be a small celebration of five to six people. I carefully poured the a small amount of herbal tea into each cup. The steam radiated from the water and tickled my face.

Then I placed a bowl of custard onto it. I picked up the tray with two hands and began walking towards the door. I heard a rattling sound and a few shifting noises. I peered over my tray of cups curious as to what the noise was. The door flung open and before I knew it I found the tray being pushed by a heavy amount of force. The force similar to that of a brick wall caused me to crash into the tray and fling it inadvertently into the air.

"Oh!"I yelped.

Some sugary substance splattered into my face and in my blind confusion I reached out to grab the closest thing near me. I felt the cloth between my fingers. Someone was trying to keep us both from falling. It was working for a split second before their body gave and we both ended up on the floor. We landed on in a tangled mass of legs, tea, and sauce. I felt the person groan then the weight of their chest was lifted off of mine. I pushed myself up to my elbows. My eyes were closed shut in fear of getting anything in them.

"I'm sorry I..." the voice was deep, distinctive, and chilling. I pushed myself up until I was sitting upright.

This did not sound like...Sentaro. Then I wiped the custard out my eyes. I shivered in disgust feeling the wet substance had gotten into my hair.

I should have been fuming quietly. Silently cursing myself for not paying enough attention or looking out beforehand. All those trivial thoughts and natural reactions had escaped my line of thinking. The man whose body had not been saved from the custard onslaught looked at my face with a steady gaze.

His mouth slightly parted, and his eyes formed round globes.

"Ayame," He breathed. He blinked a few times as if to make sure the image he was seeing was reality. My stomach sat there, high in my throat, anticipating that feeling of dread to overtake my body. The dread that constricted my lungs and would occasionally force me heave my lunch. But my mind remained clear. Every sensation every thought arose vividly and clearly into my conscious. Hisagi's three distinct scars that framed his face and disrupted the flow of his right eyebrow. His black choker fitted tightly around his neck. Or the way every single strand of his choppy raven colored hair fell on his cream beige rough skin.

I closed my eyes slowly.

"Hisagi." The name left my lips too easily.

He looked down at the floor and the cup that was clutching in my hand behind me. He was searching my face for something but My face felt like stone, as if I had no control of its nerves.

Finally, he spoke. "I'm surprised that you're here."

I stared at the short distance separating us.

"I do go out sometimes." I simply said. The level of sarcasm it was said with surprised even myself.

"I...know, I," He sighed.

"I need to get this to the Captain's office." I stated quickly while looking at the mess surrounding me.

The dark haired Lieutenant was quiet, as if he were trying to formulate his thoughts.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now. And this may be a really inconvenient time to talk but I..."

"...I have something really important I need to discuss with you." His tone was seriously eerie. It evoked a sense of being final, as if he would not accept a response other than yes.

I pushed myself up from the floor with the help of the counter's edge. I did everything I could to avoid eye contact.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant but, they're expecting me to get the food to the office. So I should..."

He got up, running his hands through his hair and staring at the custard stuck in his strands.

"I want to apologize for not being able to address you properly when we last spoke."

I was quiet even though I wanted the heaven's to open up and strike the kitchen with lightning so I did not have to hear what was being said. I did not want his apology or his pity. It was like he was coming to rip off an almost healed scab.

Hisagi's eyes fluttered across my face, gauging my reaction thus far. He continued once clearing out his throat.

"I was shocked so I wasn't able to think properly. But now I-"

"So why are you apologizing to me now? It's been a while since I had left. Or are you doing this just because it's convenient for you now that I'm here? Are you doing it because it's the 'right thing' to do. Because you pity me or something Lieutenant?" I said plainly. My voice began to waver already but I reeled it in back under my control. He swallowed and then looked away from my face.

He blinked. His eyebrows met at the center of his face and his eyes narrowed.

"I wish I had a good excuse but I...don't. I was planning on apologizing to you but it wasn't because I pity you." The words coming out of his mouth sounded rehearsed. It was as if he had thought about what he was going to say. But the way they came out in a rush made him seem less confident, even unsure.

My heart thumped. I wished oh so dearly that he was not standing before me. It took me so long to convince myself that no feelings remained for him. But those dormant sensations seemed to bubble within the dark depths of my stomach.

I looked down at the floor. I was feeling surprisingly brave, almost angry. Where this feeling was coming from I could not name.

"There's no reason for you to be apologizing to me. It doesn't change the fact that I had to leave." I turned around and grasped a chipped cup in my hands.

"I know that." He said simply.

"I've been doing fine, by myself. I enjoyed being in the ninth division but I like the eleventh division. People are starting to respect me. And I feel happy because that weight's been lifted off my chest." These were things he did not need to hear. They were things that I simply needed to say out loud. I rearranged the broken cups on the tray and looked back at Hisagi.

His mouth hung slightly open and he gave me a blank stare.

"So, Lieutenant, thanks for your concern, but I don't need it. And I think it would be better if we just forget I ever said something so stupid." I said quietly.

Hisagi looked at the floor then back up at my face.

"Better for who?" He asked. He closed his eyes and looked back at the mess on the floor. I saw him clench and unclench his fist three times.

"Because I definitely can't forget about it. You may not think so but I thought about you every day after you left." He continued. His voice was more pleading.

"I admit that I tried to forget about it by drinking myself under the table." He rubbed his forehead.

"Because I didn't want to face the fact that the way that I was feeling was..." He drifted off.

My lips formed a hard line.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I don't understand what you're trying to say..."

He scratched the back of his head, a pained expression washed across his face.

He was struggling.

"I just-without you here, it's been hard because I realized that I, emotionally I'm just not, ah," His words were muddling together. I do not believe I had seen Hisagi ever so disorganized. He tried to make gestures with his hands to aid his speech but they moved without direction through the air.

"I'm trying to say that I didn't come here to apologize. I came here to tell you that," He paused and gave a laborious sigh.

"I have feelings for you, more than a...friend."

I shut my eyes and clenched the cup in my hand harder. I could feel Hisagi staring at me in anticipation. There was something dark building up in the pit of my stomach that seemed to replace the anger and passion I had felt before.

"Don't...tell me that." My voice had broken.

I felt something warm trickle my finger tips. It was not painful, probably because I had lost all sensation in it.

I shook my head.

"Don't say that to me, please. I'm not..." I'm not an amazing person like you. I'm terribly shy, I'm plain-looking, I'm clumsy, and I'm not that strong.

I looked up at his dark grey eyes.

He took a step forward until he was standing three inches apart from me.

"I didn't always feel this way but, after you were injured by that hollow, and when we sat together underneath those fireworks I..." A flurry of opaque red color traveled through his cheeks and to his ears.

"...even before that, I felt," His voice softened. He stared down at my hand dripping in blood. He grabbed my hand grasping the clenched cup.

"I thought, how could I be so lucky to have a girl so eager to always listen to me even when I say stupid things? Or to take to me about the sky. Always kind, overly generous and never judging nor expecting anything. I deluded myself into thinking that would last forever."

The tears began welling up in my eyes. Hisagi's hand felt rough and calloused. But they also felt comforting despite the slight sensation of shaking and unease they gave off.

"You changed my life in ways you don't really realize Hisagi." I whispered through my uneven voice.

I felt him hesitantly place his palm on my cheek. His thumb moved across my wet cheek.

Her Hisagi was talking about how much he appreciated me when I owed him my life. He was my hero.

"If it wasn't for you I-"

His face crashed into mine. He bumped my nose before tilting his head slightly. His lips were rough as they moved across my own still ones. The moist air from his breath swirled around my naked lips and strong tremor traveled through my body. The sparks radiated from my lips across my cheeks and then down to my toes. I felt him pull away and his body heat leave my own. I exhaled a breath that I had been holding. Then his sand paper like lips returned to my own. He pressed them up against my own. I felt his mouth open slightly and I could taste the sweetness of the vanilla custard left on his lip. It took me a moment to register what was happening, or at least what Hisagi was doing with my own lips. I was being...kissed...by Hisagi. This was actually happening. This unfamiliar sensation filled my body and I responded with the only thing I knew how to do. Nothing.

I had never been kissed before. Never in my adult life. And this feeling of a thousand little feathers tickling my lips frightened me. I put my other hand not being held in his own on his chest.

Hisagi quickly stopped almost as if he were shocked himself once he took note of my unresponsiveness.

My eyes were still closed and I refused to open them.

"...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you like that." He breathed heavily.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at Hisagi's face just inches from my own.

Say something. He thinks that he hurt you, My mind urged me.

He immediately withdrew his hand from my face and placed it in his hair. There was an apparent excess of guilt left on his face.

The door flew open.

Hisagi and I turned around, our temporary alternate reality broken.

"What are you two doing?"

I bit my lip. And blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"We're just kissing!" Then I covered my mouth just as quickly.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So it finally happened. The kiss (kinda)~ Took quite a long time though. Guess we'll have to see what happens... and who came in on them...


	24. The Future

**Author's Note: New Chapter!**

* * *

"We're kissing!" I declared.

_We're kissing_. I replayed that statement in my head once more. My mouth hung open. Hisagi looked back at me, his lips unable to form words yet his eyes shot me a concerned and embarrassed glance. He refocused his attention to the figure standing in the doorway.

He towered above even Hisagi; his large frame blocking much of the outside light from spilling into the kitchen.

Hisagi straightened to his full height.

"Ah, Captain Komamura," a slight inflection was present in his voice.

I looked up at the man once he took a cautious step inside the kitchen. I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from his face. In what should have been a head, a fox wolf like creature's head sat. The humanoid creature was large in stature; he emanated a high level of reiatsu.

Of course, I chided myself. Surely, this was the captain with the dog head I had heard about. His long white robe only confirmed my guess. His amber eyes honed in on me before glinting curiously at the raven haired Lieutenant. Hisagi stood there, somewhat speechless from my outburst no doubt and cleared his throat.

"Did she say..." The Captain's black lips barely moved.

He looked at the ground quickly and returned the Captain's gaze.

"We're cleaning! We've been cleaning-is what she said." While his voice did waiver slightly, his overall stance and expression remained serious even stoic. Shuhei had entered damage control mode. This image greatly contrasted with the previous passionate ball of emotions he had been.

He looked at me, who still held the chipped cup in my hand, over his shoulder for some form of validation.

I looked at him blankly. I was not catching on, and I simply stared back at him and the furry Captain.

"Ah," was my weak reply. My hand attempted to search for some sort of cleaning tool on the counter only to find a handle of a spoon. I swirled it around in the air dumbly and blushed. If Hisagi did not believe I was an idiot before, then he definitely thinks I am one now.

The expression on the Captain's face softened. His ears twitched slightly and lowered, and his button nose crinkled.

"Of course," he released a chuckle. Without a word, I watched his snout. I was still completely entranced over the fact that a human voice was coming from his head.

"It seems like you all have had quite a fun time in here." He motioned to our food stained clothes.

A slight blush appeared on the Lieutenant's cheeks.

"Yeah ... I tripped and things got a little out of hand. Once we are done cleaning, we will bring the food out."

Captain Komamura nodded.

"I came in a little late and a young woman asked me to check in the kitchen for people in charge of refreshments. I am actually surprised to see you. I was not expecting you to come given how busy you're schedule tends to be."

"Same, it's nice to see you again Captain. Ah! Let me introduce you to a ... friend of mine. Her name is Sato, Ayame. She is Captain Shunsui's fourth seat."

Hisagi gestured to me. Hurriedly, I bowed out of respect. Then I dropped both the useless spoon and cup out of my hands.

"It is very nice to meet you Sato."

"Y-You too, Captain!"

His thin black lips curled up at the corners of his mouth. He appeared to be smiling. His nose wiggled back and forth, and he looked around the room.

"Well, what's left smells pleasant. Seeing as you all have everything handled, I'll tell them you will be here in a while."

He turned to leave after giving Hisagi a curt nod. I watched their exchange carefully, as if they both had communicated some telling information.

"You should go clean up. You need it more than I do."

I looked down at my yukata. It was hard to believe that I had looked moderately decent beforehand. No wonder that Captain seemed so concerned for Hisagi's safety.

His eyes lingered on my face.

"I mean-not because you look bad or anything- I just uh,"

His voice expressed being torn between wishing to say something completely different. He broke eye contact and quietly picked up two bowls sprawled across the floor. I bit my lip and grabbed the cuff of my yukata.

"Sure," I nodded. I felt obligated to say something more. How could I possibly function after what just occurred? How could Hisagi either? Did he expect us to just act normally?

/

After wandering for what seemed an hour, I found a helpful shinigami who led me to a public shower. I rinsed my hair-to decent satisfactory - and changed out of my yukata into a spare shinigami uniform. The uniform oddly complemented my casual tabi sandals.

With my soaking wet hair, I returned back to the kitchen. For the most part, everything had been put back in order. I guess I should have expected nothing less from the organized Lieutenant. Silently, we both carried a tray full of various snacks to the Ukitake's office.

Not much was said when we entered the office. Our absence had not sparked any controversy nor dulled the current state of camaraderie during the small birthday party.

I introduced myself to Captain Ukitake. His snow white hair reached his waist. The overall paleness of his features emphasized his seemingly sickly disposition. It was hard to believe that a man so kind could be feared at the same time.

My introduction to Ukitake was the most emotionally and mentally involved I was during the event. I found myself 'phasing'out of the current state of affairs, operating mechanically. Even the jokes of my captain or drink offers from the intoxicated Kiyone, were met with a simple smile.

The feeling of awkwardness clouded my brain. Sitting across from Hisagi did not help. Hisagi may seemed less unsettled than I, but he also remained a bit quiet. He was never a talker in the first place but I could detect the hesitancy with which he responded to questions.

Thankfully, there was not much reason to talk given the fact that Captain Shunsui steered most of the conversations. He steered the discussions until the night sky began to overtake the day.

Captain Komamura yawned. He blushed, and held his hand to his mouth.

"I really enjoyed my time here, but I think it might be time for me to head back. I don't want my Lieutenant to worry." The animal like Captain responded. Hisagi shifted in his seat. He had not drunken nearly as much as everyone else had. I could only assume that he drank heavily with friends instead of when he was around his superiors. Captain Ukitake gave a warm smile.

"Of course Captain. It is getting rather late." He said softly.

My captain pushed himself up from the floor. His ponytail had become disheveled during the course of the party. Judging from the intensity of the smell of sake on his breath, he did not appear to care.

"Leaving? But the party just started." My captain chuckled. He raised a cup of sake above his head. We should have left a while ago ourselves, I mentally reminded myself. Lieutenant Ise would not take too kindly to us spending more time than what Captain Shunsui should. I did not want to be the one to rain on his parade despite wishing to leave myself.

"Are you sure Captain Komamura? We still have all these Ohagi left." Kiyone said.

Her words were slurred by the effects of the alcohol she had drunken. For someone so light she could sure put away a drink or four. Her companion Sentaro laughed with her.

Captain Ukitake chuckled. He held up his hands defensively to calm his anxious subordinates.

"There's no need for that Kiyone. It _is_ quite late." Her jolly expression momentarily deflated.

Despite having said a minimum of four words tonight, I felt socially exhausted. I needed time to think, and not in a place where everyone was laughing every five seconds. I wanted to go to my room, lay under my bed, and try to write in my diary under the glow of a candle.

"Maybe we should head out too, Captain." I pulled slightly on Captain Shunsui's sleeve. He looked down at me.

"You want to leave too Ayame?" He whined. Ukitake smiled.

"I never got to ask but why wasn't your Lieutenant able to make it Captain Shunsui?" Ukitake questioned.

Shunsui waved his hand through the air indifferently.

"You know how my little Nanao can be at times, so elusive. Luckily, I had the beautiful Ayame to accompany me." He patted me on the small of my back; I blushed.

"But if you really want to go we can-"

"I mean, I don't want to rush you or anything. I can go myself, and tell Lieutenant you'll be late." Captain's flushed face grew paler at the mention of his Lieutenant waiting.

"I can't let you go by yourself."

I wanted to tell him that I was a women, and fully capable of walking alone during the evening. But I was also flattered that felt the need to be a protective father figure, even after a number of drinks.

Someone's arms wrapped around the frame of my shoulders and pulled my back into their chest. The scent of wet leaves filled my nose.

"Come on Ayame, you can't leave already~" said Kiyone.

There was a sense of familiarity from that statement. Her white collar tickled my chin. She backed off my shoulders once realizing my hair was still wet.

"I really should be going, sorry." I forced myself to smile. I felt Hisagi's shadowy fixed gaze descend on my face.

A feeling closely related to guilt filled my stomach. Was this considered running away? Hisagi had... essentially stated that he had 'feelings' for me. Whatever that meant. He had enough feelings for me that he felt they warranted a kiss. I should be on cloud nine, but I really just feel confused.

I started to get up. Immediately, Sentaro shot up from the floor. His cup still half full, sloshed in his hand.

"I can escort you home!" He blurted. His face reddened as I turned my attention on him. Every seemed stare blankly at the bumbling shinigami.

I actually do not really need anyone to take me back, I wanted to say. But he was being nice I suppose. And he was my superior, technically speaking.

"Um, ok" I said.

I looked back down at Captain Shunsui.

He sighed playfully.

"Well if you must leave."

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks for inviting me, Kiyone. H-Happy Birthday Captain Ukitake," I said underneath my breath.

"Hopefully, we'll meet again." He smiled. I nodded. It was nice that everyone was being so friendly.

There was a small part of me that wished it was Hisagi's voice instead of Sentaro's that had spoken up. I wanted him to talk to me again. To clarify and reaffirm what had been running around in my head during Captain Ukitake's party. Yet, at the same time I wanted a large wall to separate us, so I would not have to face the feeling of not knowing what comes next.

I started following the path that led out of the thirteenth division. The sound of steps crushing dirt and rubble became louder until Sentaro stopped beside me. I smiled timidly and he returned my smile in the same manner.

"So what did you think of the party?"

"Oh? It was nice." I simply said.

He scratched his head.

"The ohagi you made was really good. I know you were responsible for most of the food. If it was just Kiyone there would be no way that it'd be fully cooked." He laughed.

"I'm sure it wouldn't have made a difference." I laughed.

"... you should consider coming over again some time. Maybe you could show me how you made this." He looked at me nervously out of the corner of his eye.

"Maybe,"

A breeze blew past my wet hair and I shivered in response. A silence replaced the vacuum once filled with casual small talk.

"So... Ayame, you wouldn't happen to have a boyfr-"

"Hey!" Someone called out behind us. Out of the darkness appeared a tall figure. He drifted across the floor swiftly causing both Sentaro and I to turn in shock.

I tensed up but then I relaxed. It was Hisagi treading lightly from behind the trees. His hands were tucked into his black hakama pants.

Sentaro peered at the Lieutenant before stepping back.

"Uh, Lieutenant?" He said hesitantly.

Sentaro did not respond. Hisagi stepped closer; pebbles cracking underneath his feet. His face was obscured by the shadow from his bangs. His black hair seemed to blend into the night sky.

The air was caught in my throat.

"I'll take her home Sentaro." He said.

Sentaro blinked.

"You don't need to do that Lieutenant... " He said diffidently.

Hisagi's jaw stiffened. His eyes narrowed given off an animalistic air.

"I'll take her, you can go back." His offer was less friendly and more forceful. If anything, it sounded like an order.

Sentaro seemed reluctant to leave. He looked back at me. I was too busy tugging on the edge of my sleeve to offer any objection.

Eventually, Sentaro left. It was only Hisagi and I standing on that pathway.

"You want to go home?"

I nodded.

"So," He began. But his 'so' did not lead to anything. It hung in the air beckoning for someone to fill the silence.

I looked up at his face. My eyes traveled across the definite jaw to the profile of his lips. His mouth was shaped into a thin distinct line. I discretely followed the three vertical scars, which seemed to be aligned perfectly, up to his thin eyebrow. I have heard some people remark that Hisagi was not considered a conventional pretty boy. I would have to agree. There was something raw and feral about the way he looked. The way his scars and tattoos framed his face only emphasized the harshness of his angular features. It intimidated me yet, made me weak in the knees at the same time. This entire scenery was reminiscent of something.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"For what?" He spoke up.

"For that kiss," I blushed.

Hisagi smirked. It was an expression I had never seen on his face before. Was that a naïve thing to say? I didn't want him to think I was inexperienced. But I probably 'enjoyed' it more than he did, unless he was into kissing rocks.

"I thought you didn't like it," Hisagi said.

"I-It wasn't that! I've just never been," I did not want to tell him I had never kissed anyone before. Then he would really laugh.

We were quickly approaching my division.

"I'm sorry if I had startled you. But I still would like to know how you felt ..." He said.

I bit my lip. His starless eyes, half lidded, looked eager. The rest of his expression remained calm, however. It was as if he already knew my answer and was prepared either way. It was then that it dawned on me that the ball had entered the opposite playing field and it was my turn to serve.

I held my hand to my chest. He softly grasped my hand and squeezed it lightly. I looked down at my hand and back up to his deadpan face. His eyes were a somber obsidian color.

"I really meant what I said earlier. Maybe if you could give me a chance to prove to you…"

I wrung my hands together nervously.

_What did I have to lose?_

"Okay..." I said.

I was feeling relatively brave and that maybe I should show how I felt with actions rather than words. I clumsily fell into his chest. I felt him grow rigid at the sudden contact and then soften.

_Too late to turn back now._

I reached up on my toes, still only reaching to his collarbone, to try to place my lips near his and hope for the best. Instead I felt Hisagi's arms wrap guardedly around my lower body and he pulled me in for an embrace.

I stood there, hovering an inch off the ground, unsure of when to appropriately end the failed-kiss-hug.

His arms loosened around my lower back. I felt my toes slowly reach the ground.

How could anything possibly go wrong when I felt like I was floating...

* * *

**End Note:** ...


	25. No Secrets

**Author's Note:** So here's the next chapter. Sorry it came out so late~

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I wish I could really tell you how I feel right now. The closest word that I can come up with is fear. I don't know why I am so scared. Of course, I feel giddy too. But these two emotions keep fighting for dominance in my already confused mind. Hisagi likes me. Hisagi likes. Hisagi likes me..._

I'm not sure how many times I had wrote that sentence in my diary this past week. Neither can I count the number of times I replayed his words in my head. Maybe if I could write it enough then I might eventually believe it.

Two days after the tea party, Hisagi sent me a Hell Butterfly. Hell Butterflies are a method used by most Lieutenants and Captains to deliver messages to their comrades far away. The letters come in the forms of black willowy butterflies that flutter gracefully in front of your eyes before dissipating into a scroll.

His message was a brief.

Simply asking how my day had went, and that he hoped to see me when his schedule cleared up. Despite the simplicity of the message, it filled me with something resembling anticipation. I really wanted to see him again, more so than I wanted to admit. It was hard trying to reassure that I felt independent when so easily words on a paper can make you squirm.

But that was five days ago. All I have been doing since then is keeping myself busy with the various work that my Lieutenant assigned. It has helped cleared my mind and kept me from delving too much into my own poisonous thoughts.

There was a curt knock on the door. I looked up from my notebook, my hand with pen in toe hovering over Hisagi's name. My cheeks reddened as I thought of how childish this may all seem.

Lieutenant Ise must need me, I thought.

"One second," I called out. The knocking stopped. Then I looked over as the door rattled open. My pupils dilated at the excess light beaming through the doorway. A tall curvy woman glided over the threshold. Her billowy hair hung and flowed behind her as she took two steps into my direction. I sat there; my body was completely rigid and remained immobile.

She raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow at my deadpan expression.

"Long time, no see. Ayame," said the boxy woman.

I moved my mouth to respond 'hi' back but all that came out was rushed air.

The beauty mark located at the corner of her mouth was inseparable. Who could forget a woman with such an ideal figure, waves of hair and steely blue eyes?

"Matsumoto, what are you doing here?" I asked. She smiled but there was an almost malevolent glint in her eye. There was a sense of determination in the way her eyebrows kneaded closely together.

I had not seen Matsumoto since I assisted Hisagi in Division Nine. In fact, I had not seen her since ditching her at lunch. It was definitely something I regretted. The feeling of guilt for being a bad friend was not at all new to me though. Being unable to see your friends in different divisions was a natural part of the job though. I hope she had not taken it to heart...

"Well someone has to move if we both want to see each other."

"Oh, right. I'm just surprised I guess..." Why did I feel awkward? We were still friends were we not?

She leaned against the doorframe and her silver necklace glinted in the light. I turned to her, my hand still hovering over the pages of my diary. I did not want to appear sketchy nor did I want to draw attention to the thing, so I merely left it open to prevent a curious Rangiku from asking.

"I didn't mean to surprise you. I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you were doing okay. It's tough finding time when you have captain who rules his subjects like a dictator." She sighed.

All this small talk seemed unnecessary. It was obvious from what I could tell that Rangiku had something she wanted to say and she was just waiting for the appropriate window to open so she could blurt it aloud. My face grew pale as I looked at her.

"Not that I have as much going on as you do. It had to be difficult to leave the ninth division after getting settled in. I almost forgot you were a part of the eleventh division for a moment."

A buzz sounded in the back of my brain. I had not really told anyone about my transfer, although it was inevitable and quite obvious. But I had not really talked to anyone outside of my division since leaving anyways. It made me wonder how Rangiku found out. But I guess she would have noticed when she visited and I was not there.

"It wasn't too difficult." I shrugged. She glanced at my desk and I consciously pushed my hand over my diary entry.

"A lot of people were talking about how they missed you back at the ninth division. It seems like you formed a real _connection. _If you know what I mean."

"I guess ..." Was all I could say. What was she trying to imply?

She crossed her arms underneath her bosom and stared out my window. Then she closed her eyes.

"Someone might even say you made a really nice connection a week ago with a certain Lieutenant with a '69' tattoo whose name starts with an H and ends with an -isagi and-"

"Rangiku!" I called out in embarrassment.

Her hands fell to her sides and she quickly dropped her calm demeanor. Her eyes had lit with fire as her feline face contorted with satisfaction as it cornered its prey.

She pointed a finger in my babbling face.

"I knew it! This whole time you've been romancing that Lieutenant trying to keep it a secret but now I've finally caught you!" She called out in an amused voice.

My mouth hung open and I stared blankly at Matsumoto's inquiring face. She cocked her hip to one side and tilted her head to the other in that usual stance she does when she is waiting for something. I let out a breathy laugh. It was short and gave no indication that I was smiling. If anything, she would think the length of the delay in which I sat there silently surprised me.

"Oh," I said.

I turned around in my seat and faced my desk once again. Then I slowly closed my diary and rested my hand on top of it. My chest began to restrict and the sweat began to build up over my eye on the apple of my forehead. I felt like she was interrogating me. Actually, I always felt this way when Rangiku asked me any questions that related to my love life. The only difference now is that what she was accusing me of may actually be quite true.

"I ... who did you hear that from?" I tried to give myself time; distract from the topic at hand.

She reached her hand to her face and removed a strawberry blonde lock of hair from her neck. She cracked a smile. Her eyes were a warm baby blue color. A color that I would associate with a young girl who had just stolen a cookie without her parents knowing. It scared me.

"Don't worry about that honey. The important thing is- did you really expect to keep that you're dating a secret without even telling your best friend!" She jumped at me and grabbed my cheeks in the process. If Rangiku were not assaulting my sensitive cheeks, I would have thought I she was seriously attacking me. I tried to pry her fingers from my face.

"Rangiku!" I said through strangled lips.

"Please stop, you're hurting me!" Her hold finally loosened. I got up from my seat so that I could stand to at least her shoulder. My cheeks felt sore but the feeling of embarrassment quickly took over.

"We're not dating." I said in a soft voice.

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a weird look.

"What do you mean you're not dating? Apparently you guys have been all over each other."

Nevertheless, we were not technically dating. We may have 'kissed' but we have yet to go out on a 'date'.

"What! Who did you hear that from?" I asked.

She picked at her fingernail.

"I told you it doesn't matter. Besides, I kind of got the drift after that party at Hisagi's. That and you actually didn't show as much interest in Izuru like how I imagined. It's actually kind of obvious now that I think about the signs." She replied.

She took my spot in the chair and crossed her legs casually. She seemed to be taking this very well but an underlying tone of hurt was present in her voice. It would make sense that she could feel hurt even though Rangiku was never the type to show it.

There was no point in keeping it a secret now. The safety associated with keeping this a undisclosed was a tempting ideal situation. Unfortunate that Hisagi and I would ousted way before we even knew what our relationship was and by Rangiku the queen of gossip no less.

I looked up at her beaming face. I would be lucky if I had a week, tops before the entire Soul Society knew. If that was not the case already...

"I'm sorry about keeping it from you. But nothing really big happened between us. We precisely are not in a relationship and we were not 'together' while I was working for him. But I did... like him a little." This was the watered down heavily abridged version.

I could not look her in the eye as I confessed. It would only make me feel worse for keeping quiet about it in the first place. The blonde-haired woman was quiet for a moment. Here was a lady who was rarely at a loss for words.

Matsumoto placed a finger to her lip as she sat in thought.

"How did you get him? Did you sleep with him?"

"Augh! Rangiku please!" My hands came up to my face. Two people passing by looked cautiously in my doorway.

One of the woman asked if I was all right and I nodded enthusiastically. I ran to close the door; Rangiku's laughter filled my small room.

I glared back at her.

"Th-That's not funny, Rangiku. I told you we were only friends when I was in the ninth division." I said.

She scoffed and leaned against the headboard of the chair.

"Sure you were just 'friends'? Then how far have you two gone?"

My face burned. All I wanted to do was bury myself deep underneath my futon. Where was Lieutenant Ise when you needed her?

"We haven't gone anywhere..." Literally.

"You're lying. Tell me you have at least have gotten to second base. Someone saw you too hugging outside of the eleventh division."

"Well maybe we kind of kissed."

"How can you 'kind of kiss'."

"Erm, I mean it was spontaneous so-"

"Augh, you're killing me Ayame! I need more details.

I shifted in my spot. Rangiku sighed and leaned over the chair. She stared up at the ceiling, possibly giving up on questioning me.

"So you do like Hisagi, and not Izuru or Ikkaku?" She said it more as a statement for her own clarification. I nodded unsure of whether or not she could see my head. She cleared her throat.

"I need to tell you something before you get involved with hi-"

The door flew open and I scurried out of its path. I looked behind me to see who else was making them self at home. Rangiku stopped her statement and looked over lazily at the intruder.

Lieutenant Ise walked briskly through the doorway. She seemed completely out of breath for reasons I was unaware. She glanced over her spectacles at the blonde woman lounging in my chair before facing me.

"I need you to help me organize some release forms. We have a new wave of recruits coming in and while I'm not surprised, Captain has been using them as his own personal Origami set."

"Oh! Of course, right. I'll be there."

"Oooh~ Ise-chan."

Lieutenant aggressively ignored the call from behind her. I wonder if Rangiku and Lieutenant knew each other well. They definitely did not seem like they were compatible personalities. But then again they were both members of the Women of Shinigami Association.

Ise readjusted her glasses on top of the bridge of her nose. She cleared her throat.

"Make sure you separate the forms for new recruits from the transfer-"

"Ise! Hey Nanao," I heard the chair legs scrap across the floor as Rangiku hopped out of her seat. A large smile was plastered across her face.

A restrained sigh seeped out of my Lieutenant's mouth before she continued.

"Sooooo, it should only take a couple of hours. In the meantime I would like to discuss-"

Rangiku placed her hands against my Lieutenant's back and placed her cheek next to my Lieutenant's face.

"Nanao, I haven't seen you in forever," Rangiku jeered.

The black haired woman grit her teeth.

"Hi, Lieutenant Matsumoto, how are you. Now as I was saying-" Ise said quickly.

"Come one, you can't say it like that." Matsumoto mock pouted.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto do you not have work you should be doing right now? How can you possibly have time to make these trips let alone distract my subordinates and my captain?"

Matsumoto smiled.

"I'm not distracting anyone silly. I'm not even here to drink I was just visiting, Ise."

My lieutenant sighed.

What is with this animosity all of a sudden?

Rangiku walked over behind me and put her hands on my shoulders.

"Ayame and I have much more important things to do though."

Now it was Lieutenant Ise's turn to scoff.

"I highly doubt that's the case. Nothing is more important than ones duty to their division."

Rangiku yawned.

"Yeah, yeah but we've got men to talk about."

I blinked. Did she really just oust me to my Lieutenant like that?

Ise raised a calculating eyebrow. The hard line of her mouth softened as she looked down at me. My face reddened and I averted my gaze.

"I-I d-don't think this is appropriate." I said in falsetto.

"Men?" Ise said.

Rangiku nodded.

"Ayame has a boyfriend now so I'm just giving her some tips."

"Rangiku!" I cried.

I tried to cover her mouth out of desperation. I felt like a kid whose mother found out they were not as innocent as they appeared. I wanted to faint.

Lieutenant Ise said nothing for a second. She repositioned her glasses and cleared out her throat.

"That's very nice but work first, then time for recreational rendezvous and such."

Rangiku pouted again as Lieutenant Ise began to leave the room.

"Maybe your Lieutenant can give you some tips Ayame. Believe it or not she was a firecracker herself back in Shinigami Acade-"

"If you tell that _lie_ I swear to god that you'll regret the day you ever graduated." My Lieutenant's voice sounded threatening. It oozed with every bit of malice I had not thought she could muster.

Eventually Rangiku left, and she never finished her sentence before Lieutenant Ise had come. It was nice to see her again though. You do not realize how much a difference someone makes with their bubbly personality before they leave and then reenter your life.

I flipped through the carious papers. My hands were cramping from the number of papers I had organized.

A sight of black fluttered before my eyes just out of sight. I thought nothing of it before something light landed on my nose. I looked between my eyes and stopped piling paper on the floor. Two black wings opened and closed slowly in front of my view. My nostrils crinkled and I let out a sneeze. The butterfly moved and landed on top of my head.

Who could have possibly sent this?

My heart skipped a beat. I did not want to get my hopes up so I pushed back the first thought that came to mind.

The butterfly exploded in a cloud of black dust unveiling a letter. My fingers fumbled nervously around the soft paper. It was a letter addressed to myself. The words were neatly written, albeit simple.

_Ayame, _

_If you were free, would you mind if I made dinner for you next week? I do not want to inconvenience you so anytime your free next week just send me a reply. I'll see you then._

_ Signed: Hisagi Shuuhei_


	26. On Edge

The cat's amber eyes bore into the back of my skull. The sound of its black willowy tail waving through the air back and forth, thumped in tandem with the ticking grandfather clock. I let out an uneven sigh. The house I was sitting in was quaint. Or maybe it was not a house, maybe it was actually a store. This was difficult to discern between given the fact that it appeared as if the blonde haired owner lived here yet there were tables lined with trinkets.

How much longer will I have to wait? The cat leaped on top of my head. I grimaced, my shoulders shooting up to my ears. A muffled giggle came from one of the two children sitting across from me.

Hisagi, I cried mentally. The door slid open and out walked a tall blonde haired man wearing a kimono. His hair was shaggy and a bit unkempt but was well concealed underneath his sunhat. He casually fanned himself with a small fan and murmured something to the person walking behind him. One of the two children, a black haired girl with a mouse like face, scurried to help open the door for him. The boy with the strangely spiked hair simply scowled as he halfheartedly swept the same area on the floor.

Hisagi followed the taller man; whose name I heard was Urahara Kisuke. Apparently, he had been a former Captain who was exiled from Soul Society. How Hisagi knew of him, I had no idea. I sat there with my mouth slightly parted. He wore some type of sleeveless black cotton open jacket with a hood attached. Underneath was a simple blue shirt with a symbol of a funny looking cartoon character on it. Instead of his sleeveless hakami pants, he wore dark leather form fitting pants. Without his official wear, he looked completely different in these human garbs.

I stood up off my knees. The black cat remained indifferent to my movement and calmly leaped off of my head to a shelf on the wall. Hisagi's eyes connected with mine. They shifted nervously signaling a mix of fear and anticipation. He smiled.

"Thanks Urahara, we'll be back later today." He said to the blonde man who shielded his mouth behind his fan.

Urahara looked amused.

"Oh, there's no reason to rush. Now that your gigai is fine, you should have no trouble taking part in your … activities." Hisagi nodded. Then he motioned me towards the entrance from whence we came.

I bowed, my head almost level with the taller man's knees. "Thank you for your kindness Urahara."

"No need for that. I owe your boyfriend anyways."

I blushed, as did Hisagi.

The Lieutenant coughed to clear up the awkward air.

"I guess we should be leaving then."

"Have fun~~"

In that moment, that man reminded me of Captain Shunsui.

We exited the building. The sun warmed the skin of my cheeks and thighs. My 'gigai', which was some sort of physical suit that shinigami wore in order to take physical manifestation in the world of the living, seemed strange. I had never been on a 'mission' to the living world before. What little I did know about the human world I had read from books, and the occasional clothes I would find in Rangiku's closet after she had gone on a shopping spree.

When Hisagi, told me he was going to take me to a 'special' place for dinner, the last place I would have thought would be an entire dimension away. How he was able to get clearance to sneak off to the real world was beyond me. I chose rather to not question him, as it seemed like he had everything meticulously planned out. Secretly, I was excited to visit the human world, even if I had to pretend that I was out on a mission. Many things differed from the world I had grown up living in.

I tried to smooth out my 'skirt'. I think that was what humans called them. It came up to just lower than mid thigh and each time I walked, it crept higher up my body. How could human women wear these? They were so uncomfortable and not only were they unconventional in times of battle they showed an excruciating amount of skin. I wore three layers of shirts it seemed. One white t-shirt, one cheetah print shirt and an oversized panda print shirt with sleeves on top of that. Even the shoes, which laced up to my knees, looked strange.

Was this considered fashionable or did I look as foolish as I felt?

I glanced at Hisagi, praying that he did not look at my legs. It could possibly change his perception of me forever.

We walked along a smooth rock overwhelming stench filled the air as we passed a display of freshly cut fish heads.

Buildings of various styles and architectural structures were lined and stacked closely together along the road. We passed underneath a large platform overhead held by thick cement pillars. The thunderous noise deepened until a centipede-like vehicle shot through on the railings above. The ground shook and rumbled and I reached for Hisagi's arm. His muscles tensed underneath my arm, unsuspecting of the sudden touch. Dainty green trees with dark brown bark lined the sidewalks. It seemed almost impossible that so much nature could sprout from the smooth grey rock. We passed through a group of girls who stood posing in with a person in a cartoonish cat suit. They rearranged themselves as a man stood impatiently holding a camera.

The majority of people kept their heads focused on phones or some other forms of technology largely minding their own business. Occasionally we would receive a subtle stare. Some would linger, some would quickly turn away and usher their children onward. Maybe it was me, my clothes looked oddly out of date compared to the fashion of the youth I was observing, or maybe it was Hisagi, with his punk like appearance and '69' tattoo. Either way the crowd seemed to part for us.

Soon the modern atmosphere gave way to more greenery and patches of grass. The surroundings distracted me so much that Hisagi and I had barely spoken. We shared the occasional shy glances as his eyes scanned the area. I could have sworn we had passed a restaurant named "Wendy" at least five times though. I did not want to say anything, the risk of making Hisagi feel embarrassed did not amount to the reward. Besides, I did not mind getting lost.

We stopped in front of the funnily named 'Wendy' sign. Hisagi scratched his head. Then he took a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, and mumbled something underneath his breath. He looked off into the horizon.

"S-So when are we going to get there?" I said.

"Uh, we should be," He turned around.

He pointed to a hill not too far off.

"There. Just over that hill." He assured me. I smiled softly and nodded. Hisagi gave me a half smile. We made our way to the hillside.

"They have this amazing food called hot dogs." Hisagi's pitch raised on the name. I was surprised to see him borderline enthusiastic about a food. My eyes narrowed almost unconsciously.

"Hot dogs?" He laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head.

"I know what you're thinking, but they're not what you think. They're actually," He tried to search for the appropriate words to describe them.

"Hot dogs are actually, well, they sit in this soft bread you see,"

He held his hands together to help me visualize the food item.

"and there's this floppy meat that lies in the middle." We continued to walk up the hill.

He scratched his chin. "I'm actually not sure what the hot dog itself is made out of, but I promise you'll like it." His voice remained casual but there was a hint of pleading and nervousness.

I nodded. I had feared this 'date', if that was what it could be considered, would feel a lot more awkward after the kitchen fiasco. Before writing my response to his letter, I had mulled silently over how to prepare for this dinner or if I should forget it altogether and fake an illness. How do you act on dates? I know everyone tells you to be yourself but sometimes myself involves a whole lot of tripping, and saying silly things. When I was Hisagi's assistant for a while, it felt easier to act natural around him because I did not feel the need to live up to anything. All he had expected me to do was be his assistant, something that I could easily, more or less, accomplish. I did not have to worry about how I looked, or that I should say something witty because I knew the option of entering any type of romantic relationship with Hisagi was out of the question.

This place, which Hisagi referred to as a garden, looked anything short of impressive. Trees draped in pink willowy flowers lined the pathways. Streams of fish ran through the ground with nicely shaped rocks placed around them. It was not until we passed an old couple chattering quietly on a bench that we decided to stop. The thought that humans could live in a place so congested and concrete yet produce something so nice seemed like a contradiction. But I guess it was necessary to compensate for the largely technical place they lived in.

We approached a cart situated near a trashcan.

How has the ninth division been?" I decided to ask.

I noticed the dark circles around his eyes and he looked indignant as he thought about his answer. I felt guilty for bringing it up, unsure of why he looked upset.

"It's fine. I've been training a lot, and we submitted this month's issue of the Sereitei News Magazine last week."

He listed these off the top of his head.

"How did you get into that? Being an editor, I mean." I waved my hand through the air.

He shrugged. "My... captain didn't necessarily see the purpose in it but, Rangiku convinced me to join so." His voice veered off after he said her name. I was not certain if he noticed himself.

"But I do enjoy it, I learned a lot about writing, and that a lot people in Soul Society have crazy ideas for stories."

He smiled.

"Is anyone allowed to submit an article?" He nodded.

"As long as it is appropriate, but usually I get submissions from Captain's or Lieutenant's every so often I will get something from someone who's anonymous. Usually Rangiku chooses which gets to be put in the final edition."

We walked over a small bridge.

"You write don't you?" Hisagi asked.

"U-Uh well..." For no reason I became flustered. He could not be referring to my diary could he? I could hardly call that writing.

"I just assumed since you did pretty well with helping me edit the last issue."

"Oh that. Well, I kind of write, but I'm not really good. Just for fun. For me, you know." I felt on edge after subtly revealing that fact despite it being trivial.

"Have you ever thought of writing something for the News Magazine?"

No. I have never thought about it. Such a thing like putting out a piece of personal 'creativity' would make me want to jump inside a barrel and never come out.

"N-No, I'm not that great of a writer. I never took classes for it or anything."

"You can't be any worse than some of the articles I've read."

I looked at my shoes.

The color theme of the makeshift cart consisted of an obnoxious orange and a pure red. It stood out against the soft colors of the flowers behind it.

"Hello?" Hisagi called out. We waited. I heard a thump followed by a sling of curses.

There was a loud audible sigh as a slim young man who looked no older than I did, arose from behind the cart. His face was stoic, rivaling that of Hisagi's, and his dark brown eyes stared at the taller Lieutenant. He wore a goofy orange and red outfit, which was accompanied by a paper hat that sat on top of his wispy chin length brown hair.

"Name's Keigo, welcome to Fred's Burger Stand yada yada yada, how may I help-" He stopped in mid sentence his eyebrows raised. He stared at Hisagi, a bead of sweat dropping down his face. I blinked, unsure of what the pause was for.

"Could you give us one second?" Hisagi said. The boy named Keigo leaned against the cart. It creaked precariously underneath his light weight. He shook his head, his monotone voice less steady.

"Are you ready to order cuz' it's not like we have many options. It's either a hot dog or a hot dog." Hisagi remained oblivious to the impatient tone and took his time as he read the sign carefully. After what seemed like a full five minutes, Hisagi finally ordered.

"Could I have a hot dog please?"

Keigo responded with a long drawn out sigh.

Hisagi looked at me.

The brown haired boy dropped his shoulders and a bright smile grew on his face. It was a bit unnerving.

"And what may I get for you~" He said in an enthusiastic tone.

"Oh! Um, c-could I also have the same? If that's okay."

The statement sounded more like a question as if I was not too sure myself. He nodded a few more times than needed before disappearing behind the cart. He came out with two cylindrical objects wrapped in paper.

"That will be 250 Yen. But I'll let your beautiful girlfriend have hers for free." He winked at me and I felt my cheeks burst into flames. Hisagi reached into his pocket and paid the boy with some coins.

"Thanks," Hisagi responded.

He said it with a bit of annoyance, which seemed out of character.

Hisagi handed me my own package, which felt warm almost hot in my hands. His fingers grazed my own as he handed me the hot dog. They were rough and calloused. Instantly, I recalled how his rough hands felt on my cheek. Those memories soon lead to the feeling of his body heat radiating off his skin, and the soft contact of his lips. I felt myself getting hot. Hisagi looked at me directly and my eyes darted around awkwardly.

Thank god, he can't hear what I'm thinking.

He then walked toward an empty bench where we both sat. I rested my hands in the middle of my lap. Hisagi sat down and placed his arm around the table while the other hung around the back of his chair.

"D-Do you know him Lieu-I mean-Hisagi?" I asked.

"I don't think so." Hisagi said simply. We sat there for a moment until I realized Hisagi was waiting for me to open my hot dog first.

"So what do you think about the human world so far?" He asked.

"Um, it's... interesting." I simply said. His face seemed to deflate a bit.

"But I am excited to try one of these hot dogs. And this garden place is really amazing." I signaled to the shrubbery around us. His eyes brightened.

"Good, how has Captain Shunsui treated you?" His voice was cautious as if he were afraid to broach the subject. Then he took a bite of his hot dog.

"Captain has been the same as usual. Lieutenant Ise is the one that I have to worry about. Not that she's mean or anything."

"You said it not me. But I understand what you mean. She can be ... intense."

I blushed.

We sat in silence for a moment. I raced around the fuzzy crevices of my mind to search for something to say. Anything to distract Hisagi's dark gaze from my face.

What could he be thinking?

I played with the lining of my shirt's sleeve.

"Have you been to Human World before?" It was a stupid question to ask. Of course he has been to the human world. He was a lieutenant.

"I've only been a couple of times. One time to borrow a guitar from a friend named Chad."

"A guitar? Do you play?" Of course he played. I of all people would know best given the fact that I have followed each publication of his Guitar tutoring services before it met its premature demise.

Hisagi's face reddened. His fingers drifted to his those three vertical scars on his face. I wondered if he ever got self-conscious about those.

"I... do play; I haven't been able to pick it up for a while. I actually used to have an advertisement for classes but no one responded." He said hesitantly.

Hisagi did not seem like the type of person to feel self-conscious about the way he looked. He did have a '69' tattooed on his face.

"That's a shame,"

"Why did you ask? Were you interested?"

I was silent for a bit.

"Uh, I guess I might be interested..."

I tugged on my sleeve nervously.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. You actually don't care that much do you?"

_Crap. _

His tone did not fluctuate; it remained level and ended off more amused than anything else.

He looked down at me with that calculating stare.

"You haven't taken a bite of your hot dog. Did you need sauce on it?" He asked suddenly.

I looked down at the perfectly sculpted piece of meat.

"I mean, is it supposed to have sauce? I don't really need anything but-" Before I even finished the hot dog had disappeared out of my hands and Hisagi had run back to the cart.

He didn't have to do that, I thought appreciatively. I patted the tops of my knees and looked around as I waited.

An acorn landed on the bench beside me. I did not give it any notice until another flew past my line of vision. A '_psst' _came from somewhere around like someone was trying to get my attention. I looked around; there was nothing in the bushes. I shrugged it off before another acorn grazed my ear.

Where are these coming from?

I turned behind me only to have a slew of acorns pelt my cheek, nose and forehead.

"Eek!"

"Stop it!" A hushed voice whispered amongst the leaves.

I held my face in my hands.

"Ayame, what are you looking at?" I turned around, face still in hand.

"Um, I don't really... know." Hisagi sat down and handed me my hot dog.

He nodded. Then he continued to eat his hot dog. I struggled to find a way properly to put it in my mouth without the meat falling out of the bun. I turned it around in my hand unwilling to take the unnecessarily messy route. The first bites were always the worst. I decided to take the floppy meat in my hand and eat it without the bread. Hisagi glanced at me as I put the hot dog in my mouth. His dark grey eyes watched with a blank look on his face. I looked back at him, hot dog hovering halfway, and he blushed. His head jerked forward as he erupted into a fit of coughing and wheezing. I took a bite of the hot dog.

Then I swallowed.

"A-are you all right?"

I placed a hand on his shoulder.

He held his hand to his mouth.

"I-I'm fine! Really," He held up his hand. His face was still a bit red.

I blushed.

"Was I eating it wrong or something?"

"It's more of the way you were eating it-never mind." He quickly dismissed it.

I took another bite out of the hot dog. It actually tasted pretty good. No wonder Hisagi liked them so much.

I smiled.

I felt myself leaning closer to Hisagi. I could almost feel his breath. We stopped, both realizing the proximity in which we sat next to each other.

He glanced at my lips and my heart fluttered.

"Ayame," He said in that baritone voice.

I blinked.

His hand reached up to my face.

"You have some mustard." He pointed to his own lip.

"Oh," I reached up to wipe it away.

"Let me-" His hand jutted up and he closed his fist around something. He opened his hand to reveal a small acorn. Then he caught another that came flying through the air.

We looked around. And decided that it might be best if we moved. Walking down along the path underneath the trees was relaxing. It also made me nervous. The silence always made my thoughts more defining.

I felt something hard hit the top of my head again. Then I stopped to look up at the trees. I peered at the leaves to see a dark mass shifting in the trees.

"There's something up there."

I heard a branch snap and then another before a number of branches snapped. Two bodies fell from the trees. Hisagi pushed me out of their path only to be caught in the crash. Before I realized it, there was a crumple mass of legs and groaning faces where Hisagi once stood.

"Lieutenant Y-Yachiru?" My voice rose.

A pink haired girl rose off from on top of the three-person pile. She jumped onto the ground. Her short hair was filled with leaves and sticks and her clothes were scuffed up. Her mouth pulled open to reveal a toothy grin.

"Hiya Pale Lady!" I cringed at the nickname.

A broken stick on the ground caught the small girl's attention.

She gasped.

"Yachiru's acorn slingshot! Kira it's broken." She cried. Her hands cradled the mangled contraption like it was a dead forest animal.

Kira pushed himself up into a sitting position. Then he rubbed his forehead.

"I knew this was going to end badly." He sighed. Kira spat out a leaf.

An irritated muffle came from beneath Kira.

"Hisagi!" I said.

"Oh Right," Kira removed his butt from on top of Hisagi's head.

I ran over to help Hisagi up.

"What are you doing here?" Hisagi asked as he brought himself to his feet.

"Don't ask me. I only came because Rangiku made me." Kira raised his hands defensively.

Then he pointed to a tree not too far off. I peered at the small cherry tree. Anyone who was not blind could tell that someone's boobs were sticking out from behind the thin tree trunk. If that was really Rangiku then she should have known better and used a different hiding space.

There was a short 'Damn' as a figure shifted from behind the tree. She poked her head out and lifted up her dark sunglasses.

"Ah," She smiled.

"Hi, Ayame. What a surprise meeting you here."

"Rangiku!"

She sighed.

We all stood there, no one willing say anything nor clear up the air of confusion that now rested upon us.

"Can someone please tell me why you guys are here?" Hisagi finally said.

Yachiru and Kira both exchanged looks while Matsumoto crossed her arms underneath her chest. The eleventh division's lieutenant had long forgotten about her slingshot and was presently obsessed with a green caterpillar crawling on a leaf nearby.

Kira broke first.

"I-It's not like we were following you guys or anything. That would just be ridiculous." The blonde-haired man laughed nervously.

His clumsy response was met with a not so gentle jab from Matsumoto's elbow.

"My kidney!" He whimpered.

"So were you guys the ones throwing acorns?"

I asked.

Yachiru shot up and raised her hand in the air.

"Oh, oh, oh, me, it was me who did it!" She jumped around.

"I think the question we should be asking is what are _you two _doing here?" Rangiku asked as she took a step towards me. Her outfit looked just as ridiculous as mine with all the sequins placed randomly on her dress.

"Ah, w-w-well," I looked over at Hisagi who despite his monotone expression cheeks had reddened considerably.

"Aha! Don't you think it's odd that you two just happen to be here alone when you apparently had a mission? I'm not so sure hot dogs are a great enough reason for clearance. But correct me if I'm wrong."

Rangiku flipped her hair out of her eyes, a satisfying grin appearing on her face.

"I love hot dogs!" Yachiru interjected.

"I actually do like those too." Kira commented offhandedly.

Are hot dogs a thing? I felt something build up in the pit of my stomach. It burned like hot metal and worked its way up my throat but I bit it back.

"I think it's weirder that you happened to 'find' us here." I retorted. It was not a very good reply. I wished that Hisagi would say something in defense; he was good at composing well-worded and tactful responses. At this rate, Rangiku seemed like the most rational one of us all.

Kira stepped forward.

"I'm sorry Hisagi; I may have said something about where you were going..." Kira cringed.

His dark haired friend's eyes narrowed.

"Don't look at me like that. She drowned me in alcohol. I had no choice, ow!" Matsumoto bonked him on the head.

I did not know what to think of Matsumoto being here. Besides the initial shock, I was sadly not surprised. She had a way of appearing unannounced. Still I felt a bit mortified. I don't know why. I was an adult afterall.

There was a scream. It was dull at first but then it increased in volume and transformed into a warrior yell.

"Rrrrraaaaaanngikuuuu!" A rush of brown hair and orange and red flew past me. What looked like a man leaped into the air, his arms waved rapidly beside him. He began to descend upon Matsumoto who nonchalantly lifted up her leg. Before the man could respond, her foot made contact with his face. Then she turned around on her heel and dealt a roundhouse kick to his face forcing him to land a few yards away into a small. His body skidded across the rocks before landing with a splash into the water.

We all looked on speechless.

Hisagi blinked.

"What ... was that?"

"Just some human boy."

"Is he alive?"

Yachiru hopped over to the body half submerged under the water and prodded its leg with a stick. The leg twitched before the young man hopped out of the pond.

It was the boy form before, with the brown chin length hair and lazy eyes. He pointed Rangiku as if he had found something long lost. Then he spit out a lily pad.

How was he still alive?

"I knew it! I knew you shinigami had come back. And isn't it my luck to find the sweet goddess in the flesh."

Rangiku rolled her eyes.

"Is Ikkaku here too? Are you guys going to visit Ichigo."

Matsumoto shrugged.

"He didn't want to come."

Hisagi tapped on my shoulder. He jerked his head back signaling to a makeshift path leading off the cobblestone one. I nodded. We shifted away from the chaos until the leaves of the fauna and the bush obscured our bodies. Once I felt the leaves surround my body, Hisagi reached out and grabbed my hand. Then he pulled me through the bristles and leaves. We moved quickly, my feet threatening to get caught on a root or rock. I wanted to call out to Hisagi to tell him to slow down. But I realized I was the one whose legs were rushing over the ground and Hisagi was the one trying to keep up. The leaves and twigs rushed past my face scratching my cheeks and tickling my thighs. Since we were in gigai, we could not move as quickly, but it still felt as if I were flying.

I smiled. Then I wrapped my other arm around Hisagi's hand. He looked back at me, his eyes glossy and brilliant. Then the endless sea of leaves stopped. Light clouded my visual field until it dissipated into the sky. I looked down to see a sudden drop.

"Hisa-"

Hisagi stopped but the momentum from running caused me to crash into his back pushing him down the hill. We both rolled down the grass. My arms flailed around me as I searched for something to hold on to. Eventually, Hisagi lay splayed out on the foot of the hill. I rolled in after him, the back of my head landing on his hard stomach. We laid there for a moment catching our breath. Hisagi pushed himself up to his elbows. He looked down at me.

"Are you okay?"

I blinked. A leaf floated down from out of his hair and landed on my nose.

My lungs contracted. There was a tingling sensation in the back of my throat. My lips pulled away from each other and I let out the most full, loudest, laugh I have ever done in my life. It rushed out of my mouth and even as I covered it it still burst through. Hisagi's face looked a cross between confusion and slight amusement.

I held my stomach and rolled off Hisagi's lap. I was still laughing.

Then I sat up.

"I-I'm sorry- I just haha" I could not stop it.

He smiled. It was a genuine smile, one where those lines appeared at the corner of his eyes and his face brightened even underneath the sun. A deep hearty laugh came from his mouth too as if he did not know any other way to respond.

We laughed for what seemed an hour, until my laugh quieted down into half hiccups. My stomach was in pain. Hisagi pushed himself off the ground. He extended his hand out for me to take. I got up to my feet and dusted off the debris on my clothes. His hand was still encased around my own.

"I'm sorry about that, back there with those guys." He said.

He wore an apologetic expression that almost looked disappointed.

I shook my head.

"It's okay, really. I don't mind."

"I feel bad. This was supposed to turn out a lot better than I thought."

"I got to try a hot dog. That counts for something." Hisagi blushed. He wore a satisfied smile.

"We still have time before we have to go back. Do you want to do anything?"

I looked around. We were in an open space. There were a couple people here and there a family sat on a blanket and ate fried fish while a human threw a stick to a white dog.

"What do you want to do?" I asked him. He scratched his head.

"Whatever you want to do, Ayame."

"Maybe…"

I looked at the people throwing a plate like object. They had discarded it into a bush and started packing up their bags.

I clenched my fists and exhaled. Then I ran over to them.

"E-Excuse me sir," I said quietly.

He had not heard me.

"Excuse me," I said a little louder.

The man dropped his bag and looked up at me.

"Um, could I borrow that?"

"Listen, I'm not interested." He responded nonchalantly.

What?

What did he think I was asking for?

I self-consciously pulled down my skirt.

"Are you using that?" I pointed to his flying disc. He looked at the grubby plastic plate in the bush.

"Oh, you mean that frisbee? Go ahead, take it. I don't need it."

"Really?"

"Sure,"

I bowed.

"Th-Thank you," I grabbed the frisbee and ran back to Hisagi who stood there patiently.

"What's this?" He asked.

I blushed.

"It's um, he said it was a frisbee. It looked kind of fun but, I don't know, if you don't want..."

He took the orange object out of my hands and held it up to the sky. I felt a little childish offering a toy to play with instead. Hisagi definitely too mature to play with toys, I berated myself.

"How do you use it?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"All right," He backed a few feet away from me. I guess he was humoring me, even though he did not appear to be annoyed. We tried to throw the Frisbee to each other and found more often than not that it ended slicing through the air towards our faces at a dangerously fast pace. Other times it would end far off or float in the air only to come crashing down again. We decided to walk through along the river for the rest of the time being, talking and conversing about anything and nothing.

"I'm hope you're not taking out too much time for me."

"Don't worry about."

"I wasn't expecting to come here. So it was kind of a surprise."

"You don't think I'm capable of breaking some rules." There was a sinister glint in his eye as a smug smile appeared on his face.

"I'm glad I came here with you." My voice was soft, barely audible to myself. The sun rays had dulled to an orangey color.

"Did you say something?" Hisagi was busy trying to skid a rock against the water. He had already failed eight times so far.

"I said that I'm glad I got to see the Human World."

The rock popped off the surface of the water before landing with a plop. Hisagi exhaled, a sense of possible satisfaction in his face as he looked out across the water.

He must of not heard me.

"Um, Hisagi?" I wanted to ask him about us. I would think that it might be obvious now. Even when I felt depressed about him while we were separated, I still had feelings for him. Now he says he had feelings for me but I was afraid I might have confused him.

And I don't know... I just wonder about it. Were we 'dating' like Rangiku said? Were we even allowed to have that type of relationship? How would it even work now that we were in different divisions? I know Hisagi said something about me assisting him again but he couldn't truly believe that to be a possible solution.

"Hm," He grabbed another rock and moved it around in his hand. His face was more relaxed, his muscles less tense, he was completely different from what I had seen at the tea party. It seemed as if he were getting better, health wise.

"Nothing."

A few birds squawked as they passed us.

"Do you ever think about who you would be if you weren't a shinigami. Like before you came to Soul Society what type of person do you think you were?" His question was rather frank and cut through the peaceful silence of waves slowly crashing on the shore.

"… I thought about it, but it's kind of scary to think about someone who looks exactly like you having an entire life and family that you don't know about."

He nodded.

"I thought you would have a longer answer. You're the daydreamer." Hisagi laughed.

"But it's true right? That when we die we're reborn. We still have the same soul; we just don't have the same memories."

"Yeah. To tell you the truth, I haven't given it much thought until recently. I could never imagine myself doing anything else though. But I always think about it when I fight a hollow or a shinigami. I ended up here by chance. I could have been reborn anywhere or nowhere at all."

I nodded. I could not imagine a life different from this one either, beside the life I had with my mother before. But I'm sure my life would have ended earlier then. My soul would then be reborn would it not?

"I wish I knew the answer."

I picked up a rock, just for the heck of it and threw it at the water. It met the same fate as Hisagi's and sank sadly into the water.

He looked at me his gaze lingered on my face.

We walked along the bank trying to stretch the few minutes before the gates would open again.

"I think we're reborn for a reason. Life and death is just kind of like a balancing act. The people strong enough to become shinigami keep that in order. I kind of think it's fate that we end up where we end up."

I started musing to myself.

"If you hadn't inspired me to become a shinigami by being …"

Instantly, I wanted to back track once I realized I was divulging too much.

Hisagi was quiet. I wondered if he was reflecting on what I said or his own thoughts. There might be something more serious on his mind.

"Did you say I inspired you?" His voice wavered.

"Uh, No! I- well you are inspiring. I mean, you were a pretty good student in the Shinigami Academy from what I heard."

Not a decent cover up but it will have to do.

"I wasn't that great. No reason for anyone outside of my class to have noticed me."

You're lying to make me feel better.

I picked up another pebble, this time smoother than the last, and then I whipped it out towards the water. It popped off the surface of the water than it popped off the surface of the water again. It did that three more times before landing far off into the sea.


	27. Uncertainty

"I don't have any domain over that." He spoke with such precision and brevity; I started to think he might actually be annoyed. He leaned against a cobblestone wall, his shinigami phone hovering next to his ear.

"You can't be serious." His eyes fluttered across my face for a split second before he turned to the water. An orangey nostalgic glow illuminated its surfaceThe light cast a shadow on my own form which stretched past myself, two times my size.

I wondered if that Urahara man was waiting for us. We were supposed to be there an hour ago. Then Hisgai had received that call. He had looked rather surprised and apologetic when he had picked up. He did not seem like he was expecting a call.

I continued to wait patiently. The stringy clouds slowly drifted across the sky. They began to cover the sun until eventually the orange glow of the evening was replaced by the white cotton.

It was going to rain soon.

"Listen, I want to talk to a –oh, yes … "

"I am the Lieutenant … "

"Sorry Captain"

"… yes, I understand."

Hisagi crossed his arms over his chest as he balanced the phone on his shoulder. His eyes narrowed and widened as his listened the unintelligible chatter coming from the other end.

After a few minutes, he snapped the phone closed and shoved it inside his pocket.

"Is everything alright?" I walked over to him, my hands wringing each other dry. He smiled. But it was not comforting nor did it feel me with a sense of relief. Hisagi held up his hand.

"Captain Ukitake informed me that there's been some unusually high spiritual activity going on in this area. He requested that I stay investigate since apparently there are already enough ranking shinigami here to form a team."

He explained this all without a change in tone. His voice sounded reserved and serious almost as if there were more to the story that he was keeping from me. His face however invoked a sense of worry.

"Spiritual activity? But there hasn't been… " I looked down at my shoes. I had not heard the need of shinigami needing to visit the human world since talk of the substitute shinigami went around. Was this something serious that would require the skills of a Lieutenant? And could that also be the reason why Rangiku, Yachiru, and Izuru were here?

"But why are they requesting you to investigate? You're the Lieutenant of the ninth division in charge of homeland security."

He closed his eyes and released a deep breath.

"When I said I had a clearance to go on a mission to the Human World for classified reasons I also came under the agreement that I would be on standby if any hollows were to appear. Naturally, since I'm already here, they would want me in charge of checking things out."

Hisagi dark grey eyes darted around the shore.

"It shouldn't be anything grave hopefully. But we can't afford to take chances."

I nodded.

"So…"

I tugged on the edge of my sweater.

"… what does this mean for me?"

His eyes widened. He cleared his throat and stared at a rock formation. He was quiet for a moment.

"I think it might be best if you I take you back."

His statement was simple, no pause, no stutter, no hesitancy.

"G-Go back?" I responded automatically. Hisagi stared at my face as if gaging my reaction. His hands were tucked into his leather pockets. My stomach leaped into the air.

His voice softened.

"I don't want to take you from your division, especially if you're not obligated to stay."

I clenched my hand to my chest and held it tightly against my heart. Then I took a jerky step forward.

"B-But I, don't mind staying. I mean, shouldn't I stay? You'll need help right?"

What was I saying?

"Yachiru is heading back but I already have Izuru, and Rangiku, so"

Rangiku.

I felt my heart grow hot. It began to burn through my chest as it started to pound viciously against my chest. My clenched hands pressed against my chest cavity.

"You said that it shouldn't take too long. I'm sure Captain Shunsui would be alerted if I were to be gone for an extended period of time anyways. "

"That may be true Ayame, but I don't want you getting … " I watched his drift to his left as he did that face when he was searching for an appropriate word choice.

I took another forceful step forward. My face felt tensed but I could hear my knees shaking gently underneath my skirt. We were only a foot away. Hisagi remained in his spot his eyebrows raised at my sudden closeness.

"You said that when we left, as a shinigami we agreed that we would all be on standby when Soul society requested help. This includes me too, right? So I think I should stay, because I could provide back up."

I took a step back. Hisagi was still my superior. He had control of where I could go or what I could do on a mission. But I still wanted to stay. And for some reason him saying that Rangiku would be assisting him only made me want to stay longer. I could not explain why.

I shrunk away, my voice dwindling back to its normally soft texture. I averted my gaze from his calculating eyes.

"So I would like to stay and help if that's alright, Lieutenant." I lowered my hands to my lap.

He was quiet. Before he sighed my name.

Did he think I was too inexperienced to go on a mission in the Human World? Was he trying to protect me? I had been on missions with him before. Well actually technically only one.

"They should be waiting for us at Keigo's home, that boy you met earlier."

My nerves dispersed as Hisagi walked along the sand opposite of Urahara's shop.

I watched him until my legs came undone and began to move.

* * *

Keigo's home was located in tall building, which resembled a number of other tall buildings, which apparently held a large number of similar sized small rooms in which people resided. It took three flights of stairs, not including the two in which we got lost on, to reach Keigo's floor. We also passed twelve doors, six on each side. One was open revealing an older woman rocking a crying young child in her lap. Once we reached Keigo's door there was a loud thump, followed by a loud thud and a string of crashes.

Hisagi stood there, his fist hovered in front of the door's wooden surface. He proceeded to knock once, the clattering noise subsided. I got up on my tip toes in an attempt to look over his broad shoulder. The person at the door had brown hair much like Keigo's, that much I could tell form the top of their head. The rest of their face was covered by Hisagi's shoulder.

"H-Hi, I'm Hisagi Shuuhei. Keigo wouldn't happen to be living here?"

The person at the door gave no response at first.

"You must be another one of Keigo's weirdo friends, huh?" The voice sounded a bit rough though effeminate.

"Sure," Hisagi responded.

The door creaked open wider and the person moved out of the way.

"Well come in I guess. Hasn't stopped his other friends." She said.

Hisagi walked inside and I followed behind him making sure not to step or trip on the door frame. I looked over that woman who let us in. Her hair was kept in a loose high ponytail, with flyaways and strands of hair coming from the hair band. Her face was framed by her rather abundant dark brown eyebrows. I was not sure if she was glaring at me or if that was just how her face naturally looked. Her eyes gleamed when she looked at me but grew dull as she looked behind me. She scanned the hallways. Then she sighed as she closed the door behind me.

Rangiku was lounging on a couch fanning herself with a woman's magazine. The magazine cover was ripped in half and the spot where the woman's face would be had been cut out. The rest of the pages were tattered and flopped through the air as Rangiku waved it back and forth over her face. She turned to the doorway, then she sat up and nudged Izuru's napping head on the floor.

The strawberry blonde whipped her hair off her shoulder and placed her hand on her hip.

"About time you guys got here. What took you so long, a quick evening escapade before getting off to work?"

She sighed in a way that almost seemed nostalgic as she looked longingly at the ceiling. I used every tendon and muscle in my body to keep myself from crying out in embarrassment. I am sure my face gave me away as I felt the heat bubbling underneath my cheeks.

The statement seemed to throw Hisagi off. He stood there, his face equally red.

The girl from earlier walked into the kitchen passing that boy named Keigo. He was rubbing his forehead a rather large knot forming above his brow. She glared at him before entering its doors.

Izuru laughed nervously possibly to fill the awkward silence.

"Should we get started?"

Hisagi got back into motion again.

"Well now that we're all here maybe we should go over some of the problem are-"

"Maybe we should not. It's actually getting pretty late."

Rangiku interrupted. She yawned.

Hisagi blinked.

"But it's only 6 o' clock,"

"I know that but you can't expect us to get here and then go right into a mission without preparation."

"… That's why we're getting ready now. We have to get ready for this as soon as possible."

She hopped up from her spot on the couch and glided past Hisagi until she stopped in front of me. Her feline eyes sparkled as she poked out her bottom lip. I peered at Rangiku unsure of what her intentions were. She wrapped a slim arm around my shoulder and hugged me into her boob.

"Just look at how tired Ayame looks though." She grabbed my cheek with her free hand and drug it down. It made me look like I had a half neutral half frowney face.

"But I'm not tired Mats-ow" She yanked my cheek harder, still maintaining her giddy expression.

The black haired Lieutenant crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe he was not used to having his better judgment questioned. Surely he knew Matsumoto though. As Matsumoto surely knew Hisagi. She was a mastermind at emotional manipulation.

His mouth formed into the shape of a grimace.

"Yeah you guys should listen to the goddess. Just sleep over for the night, or a couple of nights." Keigo piped up. He raised his eyebrows in a comic fashion. No one seemed to care much for his speech though and simply carried on with their conversation. Keigo sunk back into the recess of his couch cushions.

"I guess we could wait…"

The door to the kitchen slammed open.

"Well your weirdly dressed friends are going to have to find some other place to rest because there is no way I can fit all of you here let alone feed you." She spat the words out quickly like fire. Keigo turned in her direction.

"Come on sis, you said my friends could stay." He whined.

"Shut up! You know I meant your two other friends from before. And seeing as how neither Ikkaku or that other guy is here I see no reason to keep my promise."

"But it's just three extra people. Come on you promised. I even cleaned the dishes for you."

"I changed my mind. And all you did was stack the dirty dishes in the sink you lazy piece of crap."

I could only assume that they were siblings. His sister looked exactly like her brother except with a ponytail and mascara. She twisted her face and upturned her nose.

"Sh-Should we leave?" Izuru said cautiously.

I could feel the desperation oozing from Keigo's voice as he crawled over to where his sister stood. Her arms were wrapped firmly around her chest and her mouth was set in a firm straight line.

"Come on big sis, at least let the girls stay. Have a heart will ya' and stop being such a prude."

He held his clasped hands above his head in his plea. She remained unfazed her facial expression just as stone as ever besides the twitching of her eye. Then she firmly planted her foot in his face.

"No."

And with that definitive answer we were left with no choice but to leave the Keigo's residence, much to his dismay and congregate outside. Keigo looked back in his apartment.

"I'll try to meet up with you guys later."

He whispered.

Hisagi blinked.

"We really don't need your he-"

"Shut the door Keigo!" The voice boomed menacingly from within the room.

The brown haired boy looked back, a bead of sweat forming at his temple.

"Call me, I'll try to sneak out later if my sister-"

Rangiku went to close the door for him rolling her eyes as she did so.

"This is awful. Now we're going to have to sleep on the ground." Izuru sighed.

"I saw some people sleeping on benches outside. Maybe we could ask one of them to lend us-"

"Are you serious Hisagi? Did you just suggest we live like homeless people?"

Rangiku's face was contorted as she mulled over Hisagi's suggestion.

Hisagi's face remained serious and ultimately concerned.

"It seems the most cost effective way." Was his defense.

I stood there in hallway simply staring at the clock on the wall across from me in the tiny hallway. It was in the shape of a lady bug. And the large ticker ticked every three seconds before it would stop for two seconds and then it would speed up again. According to this clock, it would be 7:49 am and that wouldn't be right. Why would humans keep such a faulty thing, for looks?

I had nothing worth contributing to the conversation. I did not know enough about Human World or this city to give any good suggestions.

"Since we can't rest then we might as well go check out the site." Hisagi slyly slipped in the proposal. It was quickly ignored as Matsumoto made her way to the end of the hall way where the stairs were.

"I think I know just the person to let us sleep over."

She said over her shoulder. I followed after Izuru who followed after Hisagi who followed after Matsumoto who was walking at a brisk pace.

"The girl I know lives much closer…"

I wasn't sure if this was a common occurrence. Having no place to sleep at night. I could only assume that most missions were not overnight. You would think that there would be more options of where to rest. This did not bother me much. I was simply satisfied with just following along.

Hisagi did not speak much. Not that I expected him to. I had long come to terms with the fact that Hisagi while working and Hisagi while not working (which I had previously thought were the same person) were completely different people. The moment he started working again it seemed like all previous experiences to that would be forgotten. He had no room to be distracted and focused at the same time. He was not good at emotionally multitasking like that.

The immature side of me wanted to feel hurt. This was supposed to end nicely with a hopeful kiss goodbye and some clarification about what would happen afterwards.

Then Rangiku came.

I felt an unnatural pang of irritation towards her. It was small. Nothing major or menacing I hoped. But I attributed to that immature side of me for displacing the blame for everything happening on her. I had felt similarly when Matsumoto had something to Hisagi during that drinking party in his office.

Rangiku moaned. We had been walking for what seemed like an hour. Traveling on foot without the use of shinpu made getting around a lot more difficult.

"Should we knock?" Kira said.

Matsumoto approached the door. She turned the handle and to my shock it gave. We hesitated before the threshold before Matsumoto looked back at us and urged us forward.

"Orihime," Her voice ringed through the large home.

"Yes," The reply was soft and blended in so well with the background noise of the creaky house.

There was a creak. A door slid open slowly as someone's head poked out halfway from the doorway.

"R-Rangiku?" She allowed us to see more of her figure. Her hair was an orangey red color and she had big brown innocent eyes as she stared at each one of us. Her expression did not convey a sense of shock as her eyes quickly softened and her shoulders fell.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We need a place to stay for the night." Rangiku stated.

"S-Sorry for intruding," A blush spread across Izuru's face.

"Yeah…" Hisagi bowed.

She put up her hands defensively.

"Don't worry about it Mr. Shuuhei, I just wasn't expecting anyone is all but feel free to stay as long as you need to."

She looked around, unsure of where to go from here.

"I'll show you to my guest room."

We followed behind her until we reached a living room like area with two futons in the middle.

After saying our thank you's she scurried off into another room. I was curious to know what she was so busy with but I refrained from asking.

Rangiku was the first to sit. I followed.

Hisagi stood by the window ceil, his eyes peering out into the rainy abyss outside. It was apparent what he was thinking about. The reflection of his eyes in the glass caught mine and I quickly turned away. Matsumoto sighed as she lounged on the floor.

"Why is everyone so quiet?"

Hisagi continued to stare out the window, glancing quickly at Rangiku's sleeping form.

The muffled glurb, glurb sound of rain hitting and collecting on the ground filled the room.

"So … how was your date?"

I heard Hisagi shift on the windowsill. He pushed himself off his back and faced towards the door.

"We should really check out that spiritual hot spot."

He began to walk towards the door.

Kira raised his eyebrows. "But we just got here. And it's raining. I thought we were going to wait for the morning."

"Everyone else doesn't have to go. But we should at least just check it out."

"Why in such the hurry, Lieutenant?" Rangiku said Lieutenant with mock enthusiasm.

Hisagi looked at her briefly before looking at me and then back at her again.

"There's no hurry-I just-Come on Kira," He turned back at the blonde Lieutenant who sat slumped against the wall.

Kira furrowed his brows and then looked out the window pane.

"But… it's raining pretty hard man."

"Just come. It'll be brief." Hisagi said. Then he left the room. Kira had no choice but to follow the plea of his partner which left Matsumoto and I in the same room. I considered offering to come, despite not wanting to be in the rain myself. But I felt it odd that Hisagi was so intent on visiting this spiritual site area. Did he really want to get this mission over that quickly? Or was it something else.

"Men are weird," Was all Matsumoto said as she rolled over onto her back.

* * *

I felt incredibly guilty for taking part in using all of Orihime's homely supplies. I thought the house too big, the rooms too empty. Some were not even used. Rangiku had mentioned that her brother had died a while ago and her parents were no longer there. In my opinion this would be an incredibly lonely existence to have to live by yourself. Someone so soft spoken and considerate, it was hard to believe she would be living on her own.

I receded into the water. Her bathroom was unusual. It was tiled. Soap dispenser with cute differently colored animals heads lined her bathroom sink. I hugged my knees against my chest. The water was up to my shoulders, mainly because I had to figure out how to stop the water from running and partly because I had drifted into sort of a daze as I was reflecting on the day. I reflected on the highlights. I reflected on the lowlights. I actually paid quite a lot of attention to the lowlights as I imagined the scenes and what I would have done differently.

I sighed. The water was so warm. Lower level shinigami were subjected to the public baths where water was ice cold before it even got to us.

"_Hisagi."_

"_Yeah,"_

"_I know you said you might want to be with me kind of, but what does that entail exactly? Should I call you my boyfriend or something like that?"_

I shook my head.

That sounded so childish. He would probably laugh.

"_I'm not sure if you know but I kind of want to be your girlfriend? I've been thinking about what you said so. I mean, If you're not busy and all."_

No not that either.

I sunk deeper into the water. The thought that there was another reason for Hisagi leaving kind of plagued my mind. Him and Rangiku seemed to communicate so well with each other, even if it seemed a bit forced. She seems to know him better than I do.

_You know about them right? About their history?_

Yumichika's voice echoed in the back of my head.

"That can't be true," I laughed to myself. The laugh was halfhearted.

My reflections, although rippled and disformed, stared back at me. Its eyes were dull its light pale brows hung over them in an attempt to look deep in thought.

Is that really what I looked like all day?

I sunk my head lower into the water until my nostrils hovered above the surface.

How could Hisagi stand to go out on a date with someone so plain? Sometimes I can't stand to look at myself.

I hugged my knees closer to my chest. The water felt cold even though I thought it was fresh. I guess I had spent a longer time in here than I had thought.

The door pulled open. I turned to see Matsumoto's full figure covered by a small towel in the doorway. She held a large wooden brush over her shoulder with one hand.

"Well, well well, seems like you're having the time of your life. Like you're in your own little world,"

I started to get up from the tub only to realize that I was inadequately dressed myself. She raised a single eyebrow, her signature smirk plastered around her face. Then Rangiku walked over to the mirror right beside where the tub sat.

"R-R-R-Rangiku!" I covered my chest underneath the water.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Hm? What do you mean what am I doing here? We're both here for the same reason aren't we." I looked around the washroom.

"I-I guess, but I didn't think we were taking a shower at the same time." I mumbled.

She stopped poking at her cheek. Her face was bare and I was taken aback that her lips lacked that rosy red tint or her eyes were deprived of mascara. I know she was not the one to wear a lot of makeup but I rarely can recall a time when she was without it. I felt like she wore It twenty four seven. She looked no different though.

"That's a great idea !" She smiled.

"Then we'll take up less the water."

I moved as far back to the opposite corner of the small tub as I could.

"What do you mean by that?" My breath caught in my throat.

She took a step to the tub's rail and then grabbed the edge of her white towel barely clinging onto her body for life. I lifted up my hand.

"Don't worry, I showered before I came in."

That's not what I'm worried about.

Her towel dropped to the floor and she slowly lowered herself into the tub. I pulled my legs snuggly against my body and looked out the window. My cheeks were red so I hoped the steam could conceal them. Slowly but surely and one leg at a time Rangiku lowered into the water. I felt the small waves hit me as she shifted in the water.

Our knees had no other choice but to touch. She had no qualms about stretching out her legs as far as they could go.

She released a pleasant sigh and stared up at the ceiling above.

We sat there for what seemed like a long while. I had things to say. But I only felt the need to go to bed. The urge to get out the tub despite my embarrassment was too great.

I stared at Rangiku's face. Her eyes were closed and her hair was pinned up into a large wet bun.

"Finally we can have some girl talk. How was your date with the Lieutenant?"

The question seemed to come out of nowhere even though I should have expected this to come.

I did not respond in an effort to try to compose what I was going to say.

"You don't have to try to hide it from me I already knew about you two. It was kind of obvious you weren't on a 'real' mission when you were eating hotdogs. I use that all the time to visit."

"I mean, it was fine."

"What did you do afterwards? Guessing he showed you a good time." She lifted her head and smiled at me mischievously.

I hugged my chest.

"Rangiku he's not like that!"

"I've known Hisagi for a while now, and I can confirm that he's a man, just like any other guy."

I sunk into the water so that my mouth was covered. It was mainly to hide my blush.

Of course Rangiku would be able to confirm. She thinks she knows everything there is to know about boys.

"He's not like that." I said with less conviction.

Rnagiku shrugged.

"Not like I would know anything about your love life. It's not like we've been talking to each other for a while. And it seems like a lot has happened since that time."

"You could have just asked him yourself if you two are such good friends." I mumbled.

She stopped moving in the water.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, I didn't mean it."

She looked at me. Her light blue eyes dancing like fire. Hopefully she would let it go …

"It's hard to believe that this is your first time going out seeing as how long you guys were working with each other."

"We weren't ever together before or anything. That's why there wasn't anything to tell you." I tried to make her feel better. I did not mean to make her feel left out. I was too confused abut it myself to know what was going on.

"But you liked him, before, didn't you?"

She placed her hands on the edge of the tub and leaned forward. Her cleavage was peaking dangerously close over the water. I looked up at it and then my eyes darted up at hers quickly.

Her eyes zoned in on my face. It was like she was ready to pounce on me.

A thin line formed on her lips.

"You liked him even before you assisted him, didn't you?"

I felt humbled. A secret I thought that had been so well kept that I had even gone to great lengths to hide had been exposed. Was I that transparent?

I could have sworn Rangiku had no idea. But maybe she had known the whole time and just never said anything in order not to embarrass me.

"Yes, I did."

I shifted uncomfortably in the tub the water splashed against my chest. Rangiku need not be so close.

"I didn't really see you as Hisagi's type. I was kind of surprised when I heard. He's … a different kind of guy." She said softly.

She waved her hands in the air and giggled.

"By that I mean, since that incident I haven't heard of him being interested in entering another relationship."

What was that supposed to mean?

"Hey," she nudged my foot with her own. She shifted in the tub so that she was looming over me in the tub. He arms positioned on the railing ruled out any form of escape.

"Are you thinking about him?"

My facial expression betrayed me.

"Oh! Well…"

Maybe I should ask her about _that_ rumor. I should start being honest. I took a deep breath.

"Rangiku, you and Hisagi …. Did you ever-"

"My clothes are soaked!" The voice came from the other side of the door. The door slid open.

Kira stood there, a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes widened as the situation unfolded before him.

"Back already? You came to join us, huh?" Matsumoto teased. She sat back down against the other side of the tub.

"Oh! I'm so sorry I thought you guys were sleeping!" He bowed twice keeping his eyes glued to the floor. The he quickly slammed the door albeit shakily.

I released a sound equal to that of a strangled yelp. Then I sunk deeper into the water until my head was submerged. Drowning sounded all too welcoming right now.

Rangiku looked down at my half submerged head then she pulled me back up by my wrists.

"Rangiku!"

"It's not like he saw anything. Or do you feel dishonored that someone other than you lover has seen your-" She tried to impersonate Hisagi's own deep husky tone. It failed and sounded as if she were a male actor from a kabuki play.

"Ah- Rangiku! Watch your hands! P-Please,"


	28. Teenagers

**Author's Note: **I know it's been a while but I haven't forgotten, I promise~

I've also read all the reviews! They were really cute-

* * *

Often times, I find myself questioning the presence of Soul Society in the human world. I'm aware that Rangiku often visits. But her missions had always been shopping trips lightly covered by the façade of 'official' missions. As I stood, tugging on the edge of my wrinkly pleated grey skirt, I looked over the railing of the building to the ground below. I saw the top of Hisagi's scruffy black hair as he was leaning against the concrete wall of the building. His arms were crossed but I couldn't gather much else from his position or facial expression given the fact he was three stories below me. Rangiku stood in front of him, her arm slung around that human boy I had been briefly introduced to earlier.

_What was his name?_

His hair was a bright orange. Like a single orange blossom in the midst of a cluster of green leaves.

_He was that substitute shinigami right? I should know his name!_

A breeze fluttered the edges of my skirt and I quickly shot my hands down the side of my body.

"Ayame,"

Orihime placed her soft hand on my shoulder. Her eyebrows furrowed as she took one glance at the sky above as if one of the clouds might be listening.

"Yes? Sorry, I was just- um, did he say we were ready or…"

Her mouth formed a thin black line.

"I think they're still talking. Ichigo wanted you to wait until class was over I think."

Ichigo!

I looked down at the tiled floor and nodded. The built up tension in the crux of my chest dissipated as I realized that I would have at least another hour to put off my new 'assignment'. I released a puff of breath. Orihime's cinnamon eyes melted and a friendly smile took the place of her previous serious expression.

"Are you nervous Ms. Sato?"

I involuntarily swallowed.

"N-nervous, um, I – no not at all. I'm just visiting this site, right? It shouldn't be a big deal."

It wasn't so much the 'detective work' as much as the high school aspect.

She cocked her head to the side, her long hair falling over the side of her face like a curtain.

"But…"

She shook her head, and then smiled again.

"Well Ichigo should be with you. I'm sure you won't run into any problems!" Her voice chimed through the air like a hopeful lovebird's call.

It helped drown out the uneasy feeling building up in my chest, even though it didn't seem like she knew much of what was going on.

I nodded giving her a conjured smile as compensation for her kindness.

"We should probably go to a classroom while we wait. Someone might think it's weird that we're standing on the rooftop."

_Right, a classroom…._

_Wait why am I even here?_

* * *

You know the feeling you get when you're in an examination and each instructor is analyzing your form. This is how I felt, except the instructors were teenage students probably wondering why my hair color was the way it was. Or even if I had blood beneath m y gossamer skin. I know. Because these are things I was asked before.

As I sat in this sharp wooden chair with my gawky pale legs tucked underneath my seat, all I could do was stare at the side of the desk where a caricature of what could only be the teacher was drawn. Her nose took up two/thirds of her body and towered over the stick figures etched in ink below. It was impressive to say the least, but I wasn't sure how the teacher would feel about it. Next to her picture, the faded words "Hikaru loves" was slightly visible. The word love faded out followed by nothing else as if the writer had decided to retake his confession.

The name Hikaru bared somewhat resemblance to Hisagi's name. Hisagi was probably somewhere outside taking care of something a non-lieutenant like me wouldn't understand.

_Probably with Rangiku, to be honest._

I sighed and stared at the black board in front of me. The ghostly residue of chalk was overlaid with a compilation of symbols and numbers whose relation to each other I could not fathom. Even though I was in a class with only teenage humans, I felt more on edge than I have ever remembered feeling in my life. They were just kids, at least 300 years younger than I. Yet, I've never felt more self-conscious in my life. My hands felt glued to the edges of my thin pleated skirt. I had not moved them for a full thirty five minutes and thirty two seconds in hopes it would reduce the attention I might bring to myself.

The main part of my job today was to remain hidden. At least that's what Rangiku had told me earlier today…

* * *

"I'm sorry Matsumoto. I must have misheard you. This new plan isn't for me right?"

"Are you really going to make me repeat myself? Again?"

"W-wait, I know I said I wanted to help but I don't believe I have any ... skills, when it comes to being in a social environment."

Rangiku crossed her arms over her chest in a way that I knew I that I already lost. Her light blue eyes darkened maleficently. We stood in the shade behind Shikki's Laundromat. The **closed** sign still hung over the door's frame.

"Don't be ridiculous."

I looked at the trash can leaned against the wall.

"I'm kind of awkward with people younger than me. I'd be better fit standing as back up…"

"Ayame."

"Wh-why are we at this… high school, is it called, when did this location become a part of the mission? Didn't Kira and Hisagi check the 'spiritual hot spot' last night? "

Rangiku placed her fingertips on the base of her temples. She closed her eyes and exhaled.

My skirt picked up in the breeze. There was a small patch knitted together over the left breast pocket and the white undershirt reached well past the skirt itself. The navy knit socks stopped just below my pale knees and the tennis shoes with a faded logo's shoelaces lay untied on the top of the shoe.

All these adornments were kind donations from Orihime, our generous host from before. She had said that all females wore this outfit to some degree, and no one would notice the change in shoes.

Why I had to blend in was still beyond me though. After last night's awkward affair, Hisagi and Izuru had reported that nothing could really be found at least above ground.

"According to them the majority of the spiritual pressure is coming from Karakura High now, which makes sense seeing as how it's the school Ichigo and his friends attend. If we really want to investigate thoroughly it'd be best if we took a look at the school from the inside. This is a lot easier to do as a student during the day since then we'll have access, and won't have to depend on exposing or shinigami forms which could make us targets."

Sounds logical enough, except for the me being a high school student part. I sighed.

"At least you guys will be there too right?"

Rangiku placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Not exactly..."

"Matsumoto!"

"There's really no point in us all being there. Someone needs to check the surrounding areas too."

I backed away from her hands.

"But-"

"I know I have a youthful face but I'm way to 'developed' to pass for a teenager. You look the youngest out of all of us." She shrugged.

_Am I not developed?_

My hands inched toward my own chest. Not a hint of any cleavage insight. I grimaced.

"Your boyfriend was the one who said you'd-"

There was a thump on the ground as two pairs of feet landed behind us.

"Are we ready? School's going to be over soon." Kira jogged over to us making eye contact with Matsumoto. He glanced at me before his eyes pinballed to the trashcan past me. Hisagi followed behind him, his hands in his pockets and a concrete expression on his face. There was a dark grey shadow underneath his eyes. There had both changed into plain white shirts and jeans, probably since their clothes from last night were still drying.

Matsumoto brought me around to face them. She grabbed the edges of my uniform jacket.

"See! Doesn't she look cute in her high school uniform?" She said. My hands reached up to my face as the warmth began to radiate from my cheeks.

Hisagi's grey eyes glinted.

Then he coughed into his fist. "S-So Matsumoto told you what to do right?"

The blonde's bubbly face drooped before she dropped her hands to her hips.

"I…"

I said I was going to be here to help remember. Why am I trying to back out now? I'm just checking out the school's basement.

"Yes, I know what to do."

Yea, I nodded once more to convince myself. Hisagi's eyes raised and for a second I thought he might ask if I was sure.

"Good. We'll contact Ichigo." He placed his hand on my shoulder. It felt heavy but the heat coming from the palm of his hand was unmatchable. It reaffirmed my resolve, if only a little bit.

* * *

"Alright, you all are dismissed."

The shuffle of paper being stuffed into laptop bags and the sound of desk compartments being shut startled me back into reality. I awkwardly shoved the empty pieces of paper into the temporary desk I was assigned and shuffled out the doorway. I felt the crowd pull me into a general direction until a hand pulled me out of the flow by my wrist.

It was that boy. The orange unkempt hair with the scowl placed casually on his pink lips.

"You're…Ayame right, the shinigami?" His voice lowered as he looked over his shoulder.

I nodded.

He was a lot taller than I, not that that was an unusual trait. He had fierce dark brown eyes that suggested that he held a lot more maturity than his teenage age would suggest. The aura emanating from his body and the matter of fact way in which he spoke also hinted that he's seen his share of spirits.

"Let me see! Let me see the new chick!" The scruffy voice seemed to be coming from the Ichigo but his mouth remained unmoving.

Something rumbled in his breast pocket and a large sun shaped star poked out. The orange star opened its small muzzle.

I took a step backwards as the plushy creature dangled out of the high school boy's chest pocket ready to pounce. His black button eyes glittered in the light.

I didn't want to be rude and ask what it was. So I chose to ignore it the best that I could.

"Um?"

Its eyes dulled to a dark grey and the smile left its face.

"A's? I thought you said the goddess would be here-"

_A's. Goddess. What could it be referring to?_

"Shut up, idiot. No one is talking to you." Ichigo used his thumb to smash the toy's face back into his pocket. It struggled releasing a string of curses.

"So…"

He refocused his attention on me. There was something familiar about the way his facial features looked but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"So why is Soul Society suddenly interested in Karakura High?"

His question was bluntly put.

I paused.

"What did Hisagi tell you?"

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the pair of kids passing by.

"Listen, I still don't get how your system works or whatever but if you're asking for my help I deserve to know more than just 'all we can disclose right now is that there is a threat present.'" His change in tone made me think that he was mocking Hisagi's own deep regulatory voice.

"Well, I actually… don't really know that much either."

I was also told not to disclose anything. But it wasn't as if a lot was disclosed to me to even disclose in the first place.

"All I know is that we should start with the basement I think…"

I averted my gaze.

He crossed his arms and looked down at my face. The silence made me feel as if he didn't buy my story but all I could do was stand awkwardly.

"It's obvious she's not going to tell us. This mission wouldn't be important if they didn't send lieutenants. " The lion like plushy popped back out again. It rested its thin head on its paw.

Ichigo growled.

_How did it know about lieutenants? _

"My name's Kon by the way. If you're ever looking for a fun-"

"Stop talking." Ichigo grabbed its face and stuck it head first back into his pocket.

I began to feel uneasy. In no way was I qualified to answer any of his questions. I felt kind of dumb.

"We should head over before night classes start then." He nudged his head toward the end of the hallway.

Without a word I followed him.

After, entering a few unmarked doors, some of which I questioned the ability of a teenage male to be familiar with, we approached a set of stairs.

The narrow staircase that led to a door dimly illuminated by the sunset-like light bulb above was encrusted with brown rust surrounding the edges of its door hinges and the handle. The air became damp and I could taste the salty wetness collect in the back of my throat. As we descended the stairs with Ichigo leading the way, the air pressure began to increase tightly around my throat and chest.

"Do you feel that?" I heard him say.

The sudden force pressing against my body from all directions rose before promptly dropping again. I took in a large breath.

Going back and telling Hisagi first, flew through my mind briefly as an option. But uncertainty soon changed into curiosity.

Ichigo's hand was clutching the door handle. I could only assume that humans weren't as sensitive to reiatsu levels as everyone else but the hairs on the back of his neck were standing on end. We pushed through the door.

Darkness covered the room's walls like a thick blanket. I couldn't tell how big it was or even what color the floor was. It seemed as if whatever this room had been used for, it had been long forgotten.

_Clash. Bang. Bang. _The lion plushy shrieked…but maybe it was me. It was hard to tell in the sudden quick movement. A dark looming object whose form seemed to morph endlessly like clay skittered across one side of the room to the next. A stray strand of yellow light marked its vague movements as it wrenched itself free from the wall.

"Screw this!"

Kon flew out of Ichigo's pocket and landed on the floor beside me. I attempted to follow suit to get out of the creature's way.

I tried to side step out of its path but my legs seemed to move at two miles per hours. My foot came down on the top of my shoe. Kon looked up with wide button eyes as my once swift movement turned into a clumsy trip scene as my human body toppled to the ground. I could feel his cottony body flatten against my chest. Kon released a muffled wheeze.

"That's a hollow!" Ichigo reached for Kon's plushy head that was sticking out from under my left breast.

"Ah!"

"S-s-sorry, I uh-"

He grabbed my waist to try to lift me up.

The dark figure leaped across the room to a small murky window. Its body phased into the wall until there was nothing left but a few turned over mops. I pushed myself up, Kon still clinging to my oxford shirt. Then I ran back up the stairs.

There was something familiar about that thing. I couldn't see any white, any sign of a mask. Just like that time…

Ichigo's voice echoed against the hall walls behind me.

I could feel sense of liberation as I began to separate my shinigami form from the human gigai as I ran.

I pushed against the gigai's flesh head trying to separate the rest of my lower body from its grasp. I entered into a hall with a few kids lounging against the walls. Then I looked out the window. No sign of that thing or Hisagi. I could feel its reiatsu moving though, it was still close.

Around the corner two high school students walked side by side in my direction. One looked up, wiping his brown hair out of his face. His sodden eyes lit up.

"Ayame, was it? Hey-"

Keigo raised his hand to get my attention. In that moment, I pushed the rest of my body out of the gigai. The human clone fell limply like a rag doll with Kon still holding on and dropped to its knees before falling face first on the floor.

The black haired boy beside him took his hands out of his pockets and ran over to my body.

"Did she just…"

I glided past them and down the hallway. My zanpakuto clinked against my hip, a grim reminder that I would have to engage in battle whether I wanted to or not.

That was a hollow, right? I mean probably. It being here could possibly just be a coincidence, but still…

I opened the door leading to a courtyard. The brisk air hit my face and rustled the tree leaves hanging over me.

The sky was devoid of any clouds, perfectly clear as a Lieutenant Ise's eyeglass. It was like the Human World loved to remain perfectly oblivious to the dangers that lie in other dimensions.

Where was everyone?

I quickly turned, to find Ichigo's chest right in front of my face. He was adorned with his altered shinigami outfit and his zanpakuto was already in its first form.

"Where the hell did it go?"

I looked up at his face. My mouth tried to form an intelligible response, but it was quite obvious I did not know what had just happened.

"Um, I'm going to the roof … to get a better look so…"

I leaped up the side of the building and landed on the edge of the rooftop's railing. Ichigo seamlessly followed behind me. I looked around and out to the horizon. Nothing.

"Where the hell is fucking Hisagi, and Matsumoto? They said they'd be waiting around here."

"Yea…"

I rested my hand on my zanpakuto.

There was a sudden spike in the surrounding reiatsu levels. I turned in that direction right behind the school.

It kind of felt like-

"Hisagi!"

A slight smile tugged at the edges of my lips as I took my hand of the hilt of my zanpakuto. I ran to the other side of the roof.

_He must be on the ground._

I put my hands on the concrete railing lining the roof. Then I peeked my head over its side.

"Ayame!"

I tried to turn back towards Ichigo. But the darkness seized my eyes. And I could not see-

* * *

**End Note: **So that's it for this chapter~


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